Never Have I Ever

by Alisha Rai

  “God, no!” Taylor hugged her closer. “I married you because I love you. I love everything about you. You excite me, you are my living, breathing temptation, but I fight it because I’ve never wanted anything more than to keep you in my life.”

  Lord help her, she believed him. Some of her hurt eased. “Then you fantasize still, about doing all that stuff? The bondage, the pain, the toys, the threesomes? With—with me?”

  “Yes,” he said hoarsely. “But it’s just fantasies. Nothing more.”

  She took a deep breath. “I need to apologize before we go any further. I’m sorry I didn’t just come to you when I got those pictures.”

  “Why didn’t you? I would have explained and maybe…”

  She followed his line of thought. “And maybe I never would have found out about this whole wolf thing. Eh. Nice try, but no. Be glad you’re telling me now and not on our fiftieth anniversary. I’d be really pissed then.”

  His smile was fleeting and brief, but she cherished the slight upward curl of his lip. She continued. “I didn’t come to you because I was angry you didn’t tell me on your own, but also…I felt like you didn’t tell me because I just didn’t satisfy you the way some other woman once did. I-I can see your face in those pictures, Taylor.” Oh cripes, this hurt. “Until this weekend, you never looked like that with me when we had sex.”

  His lips parted. “What are you talking about? I love you, and I never loved…”

  She covered his mouth to cut him off. “Oh, I never doubt you love me. But that blind need, as if you’re about to lose your mind if you don’t take me? That’s just not there. And I never realized it was missing ’til I saw it.”

  The emotions marching across his face made it clear he wanted to deny the charge, but couldn’t. “I don’t know what to say, Ana.”

  “When I got over feeling like a fool, I thought hard about what I was going to do. Those things you were doing in those photos, they turned me on. I loved what you did to me in the car, in the shed. How do you know I won’t like the rest?” When she brushed her hand over his shoulders, she could feel the strain in his body. “I don’t mind trying it. I don’t find your desires disgusting or anything. Why should you have to bury it anymore?”

  Taylor’s voice was pitched very low. “It’s one thing to add a little spice to our lives every now and again, which is how you’re treating this now, Ana. But what if it sucks me in again? What if I stop being able to just be…?”

  “Normal,” she supplied, a little dryly. That word was getting on her nerves.

  “Yes.”

  “Why are you so certain it’s one or the other?”

  “Did you see me last night? What I’m like when I’m getting lost to the wolf? I almost killed Eli. And I grew up with him, love him.” He stroked his hand against her face, his touch feather-light and gentle. She leaned into it. “I like the kink, sure. But I love you. I love making love to you soft and slow in our bed. I don’t want to lose that.” He pressed a kiss against her lips and drew back. “You’ll never know how sorry I am for lying to you. It was wrong, and I swear I won’t do it again. I know you’re probably still angry with me, and I don’t blame you. All I can say is that…to me, I’m not that person anymore.”

  How the hell did you stop being part of your heritage? If she and Taylor had kids, they would be both white and Hispanic. They’d never be able to deny one side of themselves, and she’d be horribly sad for them if they tried. “Taylor…”

  He continued speaking doggedly. “None of this, not a single thing that’s happened over the last couple of days, matters. When we go home, everything will be back to what it was.”

  Her mood deflated like a popped balloon. Her proposal was way better than his. He stood up from the bed. “I’ll go throw some lunch together. Why don’t you get dressed? Or take a nap if you want.”

  She didn’t say anything as he pulled on a pair of jeans, said nothing as he left the room. Her mind was churning.

  She thought of the life they’d led before those damning pictures had come flying into her email. Had she been happy? Yes, very much so. She’d had a loving husband, they were both employed, their sex life was regular and satisfying. What was there to be unhappy about?

  Could she go back to it? Never feel him chasing her down in the wild, tying her up? Never taunting him with dirty talk, or shocking him into some crazy act?

  No. Her response was immediate and visceral. Not that she wanted to have nothing but the kink all the time, but it would be hard to bury this newly discovered side of her without a fare-thee-well.

  She just wanted…him. Both sides of him, the wild, dirty, kinky stranger and her loving, gentle, sweet husband.

  What if he’s right? What if you lose that sweet man forever?

  No lie, the whole eye-color-shifting thing had been kind of freaky, and she had no doubt that if she hadn’t stopped him last night, he would have remained in that Incredible Hulk state, hands wrapped around his friend’s neck.

  Go back in the room, Ana. But she had stopped him, even though he’d been overcome with rage. She wasn’t sure if he would have seriously hurt Eli—or even if he could, since she wasn’t sure what the physiology of a full wolf entailed—but he’d managed to stop in the midst of his madness to ensure her safety.

  Her lips firmed. Well, damn it. She’d show him.

  She’d show him that it was fine to be a little greedy.

  Chapter Nine

  “How much longer will it be? You told me it would be out of the way by yesterday. That tree needs to be moved.”

  Taylor watched as Eli paced the carpet. His friend sighed and caved, no doubt feeling bad for the overworked dispatcher on the phone. “No, of course not. You have to take care of the town residents first. Yes, I’m warm and I’m safe. I’ll stay put. Please try to hurry though.” He pressed a button to end his call and gave Taylor a sheepish shrug. “I’m sorry. Road’s still blocked.”

  “No worries.”

  Eli sprawled out in the chair opposite him. “Drinking your lunch?”

  Taylor swirled the bourbon in his glass. “Something like that.”

  “Where’s Ana?”

  “Up in the room.”

  “Did you guys talk?”

  “Some.”

  “I’m not sorry she heard me, man. It wasn’t fair to leave her in the dark. She needed to know what you are.”

  “I know. And it’s what I was,” he said flatly.

  “You can’t deny your heritage forever.”

  “Watch me. When we get back home, I’m going to do my damnedest to pretend this weekend never happened.”

  “And you think she’ll let you?”

  “She has to.” His voice was monotone, but Taylor couldn’t help the spurt of desperation at the thought that she wouldn’t let him forget. No, she had to. They’d forget, they’d be normal, and it would be like these fucking messed-up desires of his never got between them.

  “Do you honestly think the two of you will be happy?”

  He’d make her happy. Even if it killed him. “Yes.”

  “You’re an idiot. You realize that there’s a middle ground, right? Look, I know you hated that feeling of being crazy out of control. But you’re not some twenty-something pup. You can have your kink and eat it too.” Eli spread his arms. “Hell, look at me.”

  Eli was different. “I’m a half-breed. You’re the alpha. You honestly think there’s a comparison between our capabilities and strengths?”

  Eli’s eyes flashed yellow. “Don’t make me kick your ass. Being half-human doesn’t make you any weaker when it comes to character and willpower.”

  Taylor was silent. No need to speak when remembered taunts rang in his head like a never-ending soundtrack. Weak. Ineffectual. Inferior.

  “You’re the alpha?”

  They both looked to the door where Ana was standing in a silky red and black robe. The deep, rich color complemented her honey-colored complexion and brightened her dark brown eyes.<
br />
  Eli’s tone underwent a complete reversal from when he’d spoken to Taylor. “Why is everyone so shocked by that?”

  “Because alphas are supposed to be dark and brooding and dangerous.”

  “Where’s the fun in that? And I’m insulted you don’t think I’m dangerous. Why, bunnies in the forest shake when they hear my name.”

  She smiled faintly. “I stand corrected.” Her gaze returned to Taylor. “I won’t forget.”

  He didn’t bother to ask her to clarify. Clearly she’d been listening for a while. “You have to,” he said hoarsely.

  Her eyes locked on his, she shrugged the robe off her shoulders. The saliva in his mouth dried up. There was so much smooth, creamy flesh, he didn’t know where to start.

  Underneath the robe, she was dressed in a tiny red thong and a demi bra, her tight brown nipples offered over the lace cups like desserts. Red garters adorned her thighs, a tiny bejeweled flower on her outer thighs winking at him. The garters held up sheer black stockings. She’d left her feet bare, and the sight of her sexy toes covered in black silk was hotter than if she’d donned a pair of stilettos.

  Naughty lingerie wasn’t Ana’s style. She ran toward white cotton and practical designs. So, yeah. He was shocked.

  The gurgling noises coming from Eli told Taylor he wasn’t the only one.

  “When we had sex in the shed, did you love me any less?”

  His response was instantaneous. “Of course not.”

  “I know you see these desires as abnormal and hurtful, but they aren’t. There’s nothing we’ll ever do together, whether it’s in a bed or a car or a shed, that can ever be anything but loving if we both want it. And I want it. I want to try everything your mind can come up with, and I want the freedom to come up with stuff that’ll make you clutch your pearls.” She walked closer, so all he could smell was the scent of vanilla. Stroking a hand over his cheek, she smiled. “There is a middle ground.”

  “And if I lose myself again?”

  “I trust you not to. And you should trust me to keep you right here. And if you think I’m not strong enough to do that…” She gulped so loud he could hear it. “Let Eli stay. He’s strong enough to subdue you if need be, right?”

  The silence in the room was charged with tension. Taylor was barely aware of it though, since his slip of a wife had given him a big old honking revelation.

  Delusion was a wonderful thing, until reality came up and slapped you in the face. The cottage hadn’t unearthed something that he’d buried deep. Hell, he’d done a piss-poor job of eradicating it thus far, if it had just taken a weekend and an outdoor frolic to make him revert to his old ways.

  It was the sight of the hope in his wife’s eyes that undid him. Hell, if she believed in him that strongly—even after learning that he was half-freak—maybe he could too. Up to a certain point. “You’re not worried?”

  A smile spread across her face. “Not at all.”

  “If you guys want me to leave, speak now or forever hold your peace. Or at least for the next hour or so.” Eli’s voice was hoarse and strained.

  Taylor kept his eyes on her. “Ana?”

  Her eyelashes fluttered flirtatiously, a mockery of a proper young woman. “I already said he could stay.”

  Arousal hit him like a punch to his gut, coiling low in his belly and bringing his cock to hardness. However, he wanted everything clear and spelled out before he so much as kissed his woman. “Do you want him to…touch?”

  There was no mistaking the gleam of excitement in his wife’s eyes or the hitch in her breathing. “Yes.”

  “How much?”

  Her lips curved in an impish grin. “I told you those photos turned me on. Use them as a guide. Feel free to improvise and get more creative, though.”

  The photos? Fuck. He’d long forgotten his past sexual partners, and frankly, probably wouldn’t even get hard if Lucy strutted in here and asked to reenact their old ill-advised menage. But substitute Ana in as the meat in their sandwich, and he could drill holes with his cock.

  A sense of fatalism settled over him. He’d been wrong. This was it. This was the test, the ultimate test. And he owed it to his marriage to see it through. He curled his hand around her hip, clenching his fingers into the firm flesh of her buttocks left bare by her thong. “You remember your safe word?”

  “Mountain.”

  “If your mouth is full, hold up two fingers. That’ll be our signal.”

  He watched the delightful shift in her expression from confusion to understanding as to what her mouth would be full with. The old Ana would have blushed and stammered something out.

  Nope. Not anymore. “What if my mouth is full and my hands are tied?”

  Lust made his legs weak at that thought—Ana, bound and sucking one of them off—that he almost couldn’t come up with a solution to that dilemma. With him and Eli together, the scenario was not that far-fetched. “Shake your head. That’s the only time we’ll treat a negative as a real negative. You trust me to stop?” He had to make sure.

  “I trust you with my life.”

  Before she’d even stopped speaking he crushed his mouth to hers, using his grip on her ass to grind her up against him so she could feel exactly how hard he was. Her tongue tangled with his, bringing him even closer to the brink of madness. He tore his mouth away, spinning around so his dick nestled into the crack of her ass, and rubbed against the thin strip of cotton that separated her cheeks.

  Eli was still seated in the plush armchair, his long legs sprawled out. Their eyes met, and a lifetime’s relationship allowed them to communicate with no words necessary.

  Protect her.

  Done.

  He trusted Eli. But he would take his own steps, if and/or when he turned feral, to prevent Ana from seeing it happen.

  “Any rules?” Eli asked.

  Taylor considered that. After one long look at Eli, Ana’d instinctively assumed a submissive position, head bent down. Did she even realize what she’d done? No, it was her pure natural response.

  He stroked her belly, delighting in the quiver of her flesh. “I call the shots.”

  He could see Eli’s instinctual dislike of that mandate in the flinching of his body. As easygoing as he pretended to be, Eli was alpha down to his core. Nonetheless, he inclined his head in respect. “Anything else?”

  Taylor slid his hands up to cradle Ana’s breasts. He rolled the tight buds of her nipples between his fingers, loving the way the sensitive peaks automatically responded to his touch. “Pull out if you want to come, and her ass is mine.”

  That right belonged to him, and his animalistic side disliked anybody else snatching it away from him.

  “Fair enough.”

  Since he knew she liked it, he grabbed hold of both sides of her bra and yanked, tearing it down the middle. The cups separated to reveal her nice, firm tits. They jiggled only the slightest bit from her increased breathing.

  Eli tsked. “That lingerie is expensive, man.”

  “He’s destroyed a lot of it this weekend,” Ana said dryly.

  “She looks better without it,” Eli rumbled.

  “I can’t disagree.” Free from any encumbrances, Taylor covered her breasts with his hands, squeezing just the tiniest bit harder than he usually did.

  She didn’t seem to mind, arching into his touch to get more of the sensation. He rewarded her with another squeeze. Ana moaned. “I—I’m feeling underdressed here.”

  “But you’re so much prettier than we are. Right, Eli?”

  “Absolutely.”

  Over her shoulder, Taylor watched her lick her lips and swallow. He knew what she wanted, and he was also aware that she was having trouble asking for it. Bombshell Ana didn’t quite know how to ask them to strip.

  Lust fired through him. As worried as he was about going feral, he couldn’t help but be excited about how fun it was going to be to guide her through her first ménage.

  Releasing his grip on her, he turned her ar
ound. “Undress me.” He exerted a gentle pressure on her shoulders, thrilled when she immediately sank to her knees in front of him. Her fingers got to work on his jeans, popping open the zipper. She slipped her hands inside his boxers and pushed them over his ass so they pooled on the floor. He stepped out of them and kicked them aside.

  Before she could move, he had a hard grip on her hair, and he plunged his cock inside her mouth. He made no allowances to her relative newness to deep-throating, thrusting farther when she gagged, until she inhaled through her nose.

  He withdrew his cock from her mouth, loving the way her saliva coated so very much of it. If he could, he would spend his days buried balls-deep in that pretty throat. Unable to resist, he trapped her hair in his grip and brought her back to him. “Again,” he said roughly, and shoved his cock back into her mouth.

  The sound of a drawer opening tore him away from the sight of those full ruby-red lips wrapped around his cock, going deeper with every second. Eli had already removed his shirt, though his jeans were still on. He was pulling out what looked like a treasure trove of new sex toys from a cabinet against the wall, setting them on an end table.

  Taylor stilled Ana’s bobbing motion. “Why don’t you go on over to Eli and help him out of those jeans.”

  She withdrew from his cock, her mouth wet and shiny. Her breath puffed on the head of his erection. She rose gracefully and walked over to kneel in front of Eli, who looked like he couldn’t quite believe his luck. Nose level with his crotch and more-than-obvious erection, she raised her hands to his fly. Eli stroked Ana’s hair while she struggled with both the unfamiliar button fly and the thick cock stretching its limits.

  Taylor walked over to the table where Eli had so courteously laid out some very nice props. He picked through them, his blood pounding as he considered how each toy could be utilized. Laying aside the supplies he needed, he turned back to the erotic scene just as Ana removed Eli’s pants.

  She sat back on her heels, her hands calmly placed on her thighs. He could tell by the high color in her face and neck though, that she was anything but calm. As he watched, she wet her lips. Eli’s cock wasn’t far from them.