Our Time

by Jessica Wilde

  Andrew was driving us to the hospital, on our way to the surgery, and I insisted on sitting in the back with Olivia and playing with her on the way there. Maddy was up front with Andrew and driving him insane.

  "Sorry, I'm just super nervous. How long did you say the surgery would be again? Maybe I should just have Catherine come and get Liv so I can stay with you. She would have fun with Josh and Ella, I know it. I was going to take her to the park or even a movie, but I'm worried about not being there with you. Maybe Tyler can just leave work and--"

  "Maddy!" Andrew shouted, but his irritation held far too much amusement.

  "Sorry!"

  Maddy had been calling non-stop since the day Linda and Ben stopped by. She watched Liv for a little bit during the mornings while Andrew did some work for Chris and at night, it took us forever to kick her out of the house. When she wasn't with us, she was talking to one of us on the phone, double checking the time of the surgery and if we needed any groceries or whatever else she could get. I thought it was very considerate of her, Andrew thought it was annoying, especially when she called early in the morning seconds after he rolled on top of me, kissing me hungrily.

  Andrew had pretty much abandoned his townhouse, only going there when he needed to grab something he didn't already have with him. Ben and his family had been staying in a hotel and weren't planning on going back home until a few days after the surgery. We finally talked them into staying at Andrew's. No sense in them paying for a hotel when there was a nice place for them that was free, and closer.

  "Mommy, pretty bracelet." Olivia hadn't taken off the bracelet Andrew had gotten her since he gave it to her last night. She showed me each charm and told me all the details about it in her gibberish, with a few clear words here and there. She was talking so much better lately.

  "Yes, it's so beautiful. Just like you, pretty girl."

  She giggled and sat back in her car seat, fingering the little charms with a smile on her face.

  I hadn't wanted to leave her with anyone until I went back for the surgery. I wanted to be able to hold her until the last minute if possible.

  I knew everything would be fine, but I couldn't ignore the need I felt to just soak in every second I could with her. It would take me a while to recover afterwards and I was going to be stuck in the hospital for a few days. The plan was for Ben and Linda to take care of Liv while I was in the hospital and they would bring her by as much as possible. Maddy was going to take Liv out while I was in surgery and bring her back when everything was done, but from the look on her face, she had no plans to leave Andrew. Of course, Ben would be there, but I think Andrew needed his sister.

  "Sweetie, why don't you just have Linda take Liv once I go back. She said she would be happy to. It would keep her busy, which is what she wanted."

  Andrew glanced at me in the rearview mirror, a look of relief in his eyes. "That sounds like a good idea."

  "Sorry, Joss. I thought it would be better to keep busy, too, so I wouldn't go crazy in the waiting room, but I just can't stand not being there. You are my best friend."

  "I know, Maddy. It's okay. This will work out better."

  Andrew's shoulders slumped, like a huge burden had just been taken off of them. He had been talking to Maddy a lot at night before coming to bed. He had actually been talking to everyone a lot, including Monty, but it seemed like Maddy was the only one to make him feel better.

  I smiled when I recalled his conversation with Monty the night before and everything that had happened afterward.

  They were sitting together out on the back patio, eating some leftover pizza and thinking I was up in bed with Liv. It wasn't very late, but he had insisted that I go rest after dinner. Liv had fallen asleep right away and I snuck down to have some last minute ice cream before I couldn't eat anything for the rest of the night.

  He had left the door cracked and I heard him talking and Monty grunting in response.

  "Well, boy, I think we are ready. Are you ready?"

  "Humph."

  "Yeah, maybe I'm not either. I'm terrified. What if something happens during the procedure? What if I can't get her back to you?"

  Monty let out a small whimper and I saw him put his head on Andrew's lap.

  "Okay, buddy. I promise. I'll get her back to you. You need her just as much as I do. She's tough, she'll get through this just fine, right?"

  Another grunt.

  "I love her so much. Thanks for bringing me to her, boy."

  Another grunt with a louder whimper, then he started to sound like he was singing. The way he does when he is trying to tell you what he wants with a howl here and there.

  "I love you, too, buddy." Andrew leaned down and kissed the top of Monty's head, then leaned back in his chair and fed him the rest of the pizza crust that was in his hands.

  "I'll get her back to you," he muttered to himself.

  He didn't hear me go back upstairs, my ice cream forgotten, but he came to bed a few minutes later and when he walked in the room, I had to catch my breath. His hair looked like he had just thrust his fingers through it and it couldn't have looked any sexier. His t-shirt hugged his chest and shoulders, reminding me of how fit he was and how much I loved his body pressed against mine.

  When he saw me watching him, the crooked grin on his face made my stomach flutter and heat pooled at my core. The things this man could do to me with just a smile.

  "You look hungry, love," he said huskily.

  I nodded and smiled at him as I watched him stride to the bed. "Mmhmm, but it looks like you gave Monty the rest of the pizza."

  He froze and his eyes widened in surprise. "I guess you heard me, huh?"

  "Yep."

  "Well, that's embarrassing."

  I laughed and he sank down on the bed, covering me with his body and kissed my throat.

  "But that's not the kind of hungry I meant."

  "Oh?" I tried to look innocent, but he knew better.

  He kissed me, like it was the last kiss he would ever give me, and his hands roamed my body like they had minds of their own.

  "I love you, Joss," he murmured against my neck, then kissed a trail down to the hem of my shirt, lifting it away and making the path back up my skin. I squirmed as his lips left their brand on me and he pushed my shirt up over my head.

  "I love you, too."

  He made love to me like it was the last time, slow and passionate. We savored every touch and kiss, he told me I was beautiful and that he would never stop loving me, that he was mine forever. When he finally brought us both to release, I had tears in my eyes.

  He rested his head on my stomach and wrapped his arms around my hips, getting comfortable the way he usually did on me. I ran my fingers through his hair while we talked about our plans once I recovered from the surgery. He wanted to set a date for the wedding, but I wanted to wait until I knew I was feeling good enough to plan everything. I could tell that he wanted to argue with me, but he let it go.

  I really just wanted to know how much money I would need once the medical bills showed up. Ben had helped me in the beginning, but I had enough put away that I could probably cover a good chunk of it. I had made a lot over the summer thanks to all of Andrew's help with Olivia. Plus, he never let me pay for anything when we were out together.

  Maddy and him were good with their money and what they had gotten from their parent's life insurance years before. Andrew made good money at his job and had a good savings. He kept telling me not to worry about money, he would take care of me.

  "You okay back there, babe?"

  I hadn't realized we had arrived at the hospital and Andrew was turned in his seat watching me warily.

  "Yes, I'm good. Just lost in thought."

  He smiled at me, probably thinking about last night, too, since he noticed the blush covering my face and neck. He got out of the car and opened my door for me while Maddy grabbed Olivia.

  He pulled me against his chest and kissed my forehead. "Let's do this."

/>   Andrew

  I couldn't hold still.

  After all the protocols, questions, needles, and explanations, they had taken her from me and Olivia.

  Rolled her away on the bed with a couple of giant doors swinging shut behind them. Shutting her away from us.

  At least, that is what it felt like.

  Ben was sitting on my left and Maddy was on my right - when I was sitting down. I must have checked with the nurses a million times to make sure everything was going well. Thank God they were so patient and understanding, but I think Ben had gotten to them first, so they knew the situation.

  I just wanted to hold Liv, but Linda had taken her back to the house with her kids to keep them busy. I missed her like crazy and I couldn't imagine what Joss must have been going through.

  I had gotten up for the hundredth time and made my way over to the nurse's station. She had been back there for more than three hours already.

  The nurse who kept checking for me was an older woman with gray streaks in her almost black hair and her name was Grace. Fitting, I guess. She always smiled when I walked up to the desk and didn't hesitate to check on Jocelyn for me.

  "Mr. Carter," she said with none of her usual hints of amusement. It made my stomach drop. "I just checked on her for you, dear. There have been a few complications and it will be a little while longer before the doctor can speak with you."

  "What complications?" I asked shakily, clenching my hands into fists until my fingernails bit into my palms. The pain didn't act as the distraction I needed.

  Maddy was already at my side clutching my hand and trying to uncurl my fingers and Ben looked like he was ready to make his way back to the operating room with the way he kept eyeing the door.

  "Um, I'm not completely sure. Dr. Harrison will be able to explain it to you when he comes out."

  "Excuse me, I'm Dr. Benjamin Moore. I was Jocelyn's oncologist before."

  "Nice to meet you, Dr. Moore," she said stiffly.

  He didn't care that she was trying to placate us and make us wait longer, he wasn't going to wait and I thanked God for him because I was ready to climb over the desk and strangle her for an explanation.

  "I think it would be best if I was able to speak with someone who knew what was going on. I could relay the details to Mr. Carter here."

  "Sir, I don't think that's--"

  "Listen, Grace, is it?"

  She nodded.

  "As you can see, Mr. Carter is a lot stronger than I am, stronger than you, too. He isn't going to last much longer if he doesn't get some kind of reassurance that his fiancé will be coming out of the surgery to him and her daughter. So I suggest you let me get some information from whoever I can so I can give him that reassurance before he jumps over this desk."

  Her mouth opened and closed, searching for words, but unable to find them. Her eyes shifted back and forth between the three of us until she made her decision. Then she nodded quickly and scurried to the door that would lead Ben to the answers I needed.

  He turned to me while she waited for him to follow her and grasped my shoulder. "Sit tight for a few minutes, Andrew. Take some deep breaths and remember that Olivia needs her daddy, okay?"

  I felt like I was being torn to shreds, but I nodded anyway.

  He disappeared through the door behind nurse Grace, leaving my tiny little sister to hold me up as I made my way to the closest chair.

  "What am I going to do, Maddy? I can't lose her."

  "Shh, Drew. Don't you worry, big brother. Jocelyn is tough and whatever happened back there is probably going to end in her scolding the doctor for whatever mistake he made."

  I didn't give her the smile she was looking for and she pulled my head onto her shoulder while I tried to calm my erratic heart.

  "She has something to fight for, Drew. Two somethings. Olivia and you. That's better than what she had before, right?"

  I sighed and shut my eyes tightly, trying to conjure her image in my head.

  "She has more time, Drew. All of you do. You are going to be a family, you know that? My big brother is going to have a family of his own." She let out a quiet sob and added, "My big brother is going to love that woman with everything he is for the rest of his life and he is going to make another baby with her and name it Madison if it's a girl or Bennett if it's a boy because the baby will have to be named after his favorite aunt, right?"

  My lips twitched at the thought of a little boy with his mother's brown eyes and dark hair. He would protect Liv when they grew up and would help me chase away any boys that came calling for her.

  "She isn't going anywhere, Drew."

  I took a deep breath and lifted my head off of her shoulder. "Thanks, Maddy."

  She wrapped her arms around my neck and hugged me tightly. "I only speak the truth."

  I ignored the burn in the back of my eyes and cleared my head of all the 'what ifs'. I would wait for Ben to tell me what was happening before I fell apart.

  Our time wasn't up yet.

  Chapter 16

  Jocelyn

  My head was pounding, my arms were heavy, and my stomach felt like it was about to cave in.

  Plus, I was freezing my ass off.

  "I'll have the nurse give you another dose of pain medication after your fiancé comes and sees you. From what I hear, he is pretty anxious to see you, dear."

  I smiled because I knew he was absolutely right. He told me that Ben had been informed about the minor complication the nurse had slipped to Andrew. He was able to remove the tumor completely and in the process, by some miracle, found another piece beside it that didn't show up in the imaging. He told me that tiny piece looked more threatening than the rest of it and the lab results would let us know for sure.

  I had been awake for the procedure, following whatever instructions they gave me to make sure they weren't destroying my brain. It was always a little unnerving to say the least. They poked around my brain while I repeated the alphabet and moved certain body parts.

  It was over now.

  He didn't think I would need any chemo or radiation, but we would know for sure when I had some imaging and blood work done.

  I was hopeful. I'd had enough of the nausea and I didn't want Andrew to have to go through that with me even though I knew he would without hesitation.

  Dr. Harrison smiled down at me when I met his eyes again.

  "I'm sorry. Did you say something?" I asked, wondering if I had missed a question or another bit of instruction.

  "I asked if you had any wedding plans set."

  "Oh, no. Not yet."

  His brow furrowed and his lips pursed. "Why is that?"

  For the second time since meeting the man, I wondered why I felt the need to share my personal life with him. "I wanted to wait until I was better."

  "Well, you are better. So get planning, yeah?"

  I chuckled and winced because the act put pressure on my head.

  "Thank you."

  "We'll see you soon, Jocelyn."

  He left the small recovery room and shut the curtain behind him. I heard the nurses wandering back and forth, chatting about different things, and laughing about others. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes.

  I was okay.

  "Joss?"

  My lips couldn't help but smile wider than they had since I heard that voice ask me to marry him. I opened my eyes and saw him standing there, his ocean blue eyes wide with a mix of concern and relief, with my little girl in his arms and her head resting on his shoulder, fast asleep. My family.

  "Andrew."

  Andrew

  "Oh, Andrew! You look so handsome!"

  Maddy burst into the room and nearly jumped into my arms.

  "I'm so happy for you, big brother. Jocelyn is going to faint when she sees you in this. Oh, just wait until you see her. Gorgeous! And little Liv. Maybe you will be the one to faint. God, I wish I had my video camera."

  "Maddy! Calm down, you're talking so fast I feel like I'm going to pass out right n
ow."

  She swiped a tissue across her cheeks and caught the tears that had fallen. She was wearing a strapless blue dress that stopped just below her knees. Jocelyn decided that the color reminded her of my eyes and it was her absolute favorite.

  "You look beautiful, Maddy."

  "I do don't I? Tyler's going to forget all his worries about making a baby when he sees me in this."

  "God, I don't want to hear that!" I shook my head to get the image of my best friend and my little sister out of my head. I would never get used to it. She walked over to the white couch that ran along the outside wall of the dressing room. I looked in the mirror again and smiled. I was wearing a tux for the second time in my life, but this time I had no complaints. "How is she?" I asked.

  "Nervous. She thinks she is going to fall in those heels I got her," Maddy chuckled.

  I didn't turn around, but looked down at my feet, "Is she having second thoughts… about me?"

  Maddy shot up and stood on her tip toes to kiss my cheek, "Never."

  The door opened and Tyler poked his head in. "Hey, we are ready for--" His eyes stopped on Maddy and his jaw dropped to the floor. "Holy shit!"

  "Tyler! We are in a church. No cursing for hell's sake," Maddy said and made her way over to him. "Come on, Drew. Let's get you married."

  "Yeah, hurry up, Andrew. I've got things to do." Tyler grabbed Maddy's hand and yanked her out of the room, grabbing her butt in the process.

  "Come on, Tyler! That's my sister."

  "Yeah, I know," he said with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

  I followed them out taking deep breaths and willing myself to walk straight.

  Jocelyn told me to choose a date the first few minutes I was in the recovery room with her. She said she didn't care if part of her head was shaved and she didn't care if it took her hours to get down the aisle, she just wanted to marry me.

  So, I put my townhouse up for rent after emptying it out, and a month after we returned from the hospital to our home, there I was, at the front of a small chapel in Portland, waiting for my bride to come out. Maddy and Tyler stood on either side of me after hugging me tightly and whispering words of encouragement.