Deepest Desire

by Weston Parker

  “Come here, fiancé,” I said, curling my finger towards myself.

  Greyson closed the space between us.

  Greyson

  The crash of metal in the kitchen woke me. I opened my eyes to stare up at the bedroom ceiling, which was bright white in the early morning sunshine streaming in through the windows. I pressed the heels of my hands against my eyes and groaned as I succumbed to a greedy stretch.

  I glanced over at the alarm clock on Skylar’s side of the bed. It was almost eight in the morning. I blinked in surprise and sat up.

  Birds were chirping outside and Skylar had already walked around the bedroom perimeter to open some of the windows. She liked the early morning breeze in Nevada. As soon as it hit eleven she would repeat her circuit and close all the windows before the heat became too much.

  I rolled out of bed and padded to the closet, where I stepped into a pair of loose navy sweats and a gray T shirt. Then I made my way out into the hall, where I paused at the railing to look down at the lower level of the house below.

  Upon moving back to Nevada, Skylar and I decided to get out own place. We both wanted to start fresh together, and returning to my house felt odd. I wanted to create our new home together.

  We enjoyed the shopping process and viewed over twenty homes before we came across this one. It was a little more out in the middle of nowhere- even more so than my old place. We both loved the solitude of it. At night no one else’s lights could be seen for miles. We were truly alone in our little paradise.

  Well, sort of alone.

  As I stood on the loft looking down Skylar shuffled around the kitchen below. She had her back to me as she whisked eggs in a glass mixing bowl. On a cutting board to her right was an assortment of chopped vegetables, a container of milk, and a glass of water. She was wearing a pale pink robe which was untied.

  When she turned to the kitchen island I got a better look of her. Her belly bumped into the counter and I muffled my laughter as she rolled her eyes and put her hand on her stomach. Then she started talking to the baby.

  She was still completely unaware of my presence as I leaned on the railing and listened to her one sided conversation.

  “I’m sorry,” she was saying, “Mommy doesn’t mean to keep walking into things. Sometimes it’s just easy to forget that you’re two times bigger than you used to be.” She patted her belly fondly and then felt my eyes on her.

  Skylar looked up at me, and when our eyes met she gave me a radiant smile that made my insides feel warm. “Good morning husband,” she called.

  “Good morning wife,” I said as I began descending the stairs.

  “Did I wake you? I was trying to be quiet but I’m a bit of a klutz lately. I dropped one of the pans. I knew it would have woken you up. I’m sorry.”

  I arrived in the kitchen and put both my hands on Skylar’s belly. I whispered a good morning to our little one, and then kissed Skylar on the forehead. “I’m glad it woke me up. I don’t want to miss any time with you like this.”

  “Like this?” Skylar gestured at all of herself. “Oh yeah. So sexy. I can’t even put my own shoes on anymore. Or paint my toes.” She groaned. “I miss having painted toes.”

  I took her by the shoulders and guided her into a chair. “You sit. I’m going to finish up with breakfast. When Renee gets her you should recruit her to give you a pedicure.”

  Skylar shrugged one shoulder as she considered the suggestion. “Not a bad idea. I knew there was a good reason why I married you.”

  “Besides my wicked good looks and charm?”

  “And humble attitude,” Skylar teased.

  “And that.”

  Skylar giggled and I whisked the eggs. As I added the veggies and poured to mixture into a pan, Skylar drummed her fingers on the counter. “I can’t believe how quickly she’s going to be here,” she said softly.

  I looked over my shoulder at my wife. My very pregnant beautiful wife. She was handling the whole thing with class and strength. Despite being three days overdue she hadn’t complained once. Except about how much her feet hurt at the end of the day sometimes and how swollen her ankles were. That was an easy fix. On those days I ran her a bath and gave her a foot massage.

  “A couple more days,” I said, “Maybe less. Then we’ll have her in our arms.” Saying the words sent a shock of excitement through me. The prospect of being a father any day now was an exciting and terrifying one.

  “Still no names you want to throw into the hat?” Skylar asked.

  I shook my head as I folded the omelets over. “No. I don’t think I’ll have any idea until we meet her. Then I think we’ll both know.” It still felt surreal that I would be meeting my baby girl in just a few days. I would be able to hold her and kiss her and tell her how much I loved her. I would be able to count her fingers and toes and kiss each one of them.

  I plated the omelets and slid one to Skylar. She pulled it to her and waited for it to cool down a bit as I poured her a glass of water and joined her at the table.

  “Renee lands in two hours,” Skylar said through a bite of hot eggs. “We should leave in an hour or so.”

  “Works for me. You’re sure you’re up for the drive? I can go get her and you can stay here and relax. Put your feet up. Read a book.”

  Skylar shook her head. “No, I want to come. I’ll be cooped up for a while after baby comes so I want to get out as much as I can. Besides, I don’t want to wait any longer than I have to. I miss my sister.”

  “Alright,” I said as I shoveled food into my mouth. “I just know how your stomach has been with car rides.”

  She shot me a look. “I’ll be fine.”

  I chuckled. “Uh huh.”

  I only had to pull over once on the way to the airport for Skylar to get out of the car and stretch her legs. Throughout her pregnancy she had been prone to motion sickness, and on most car rides she had thrown up, which made me uneasy. I didn’t want her in any distress.

  But she was insistent on coming to the airport with Renee, so I bit my tongue as she slid back into her seat and we resumed the drive to the airport.

  Renee’s plane arrived right on time and we stood impatiently outside her baggage claim area. I peered over the heads of everyone else in the crowd, and when I spotted Renee rounding the corner after coming out of security I waved her over.

  Her face lit up and she hurried around other flyers, dodging in and out of the moving bodies while expertly maneuvering her suitcase behind her. I pulled Skylar over to the side just as Renee emerged.

  The two women squealed with excitement and hugged each other while bouncing up and down. When Renee pulled away her eyes widened at the size of Skylar’s belly. “You’re sure you’re only growing one baby in there?”

  “Don’t be funny,” Skylar scowled. Her eyes were bright with happiness. “I’m ready for her to come out any time now. Getting kind of tired of carrying her around everywhere like this.”

  Renee patted Skylar’s belly and then looked up at me. “Hey,” she said, “Is Daddy getting nervous?”

  “Nervous?” I laughed, waving her away. “I don’t get nervous.”

  “He’s terrified,” Skylar said flatly to her sister. Renee burst out laughing.

  “Thanks,” I mumbled to Skylar, who grinned at me. “Come on you two, let’s go get some lunch. Skylar hasn’t eaten in an hour so she must be famished.”

  “Oh, I see how this is going to be now,” Skylar mused, “You have to get even with me for selling you out?”

  “You’d better believe it,” I said as I took the handle of Renee’s suitcase and turned to make my way out of the airport. The two women followed behind me, chatting in high pitched voices about Renee’s flight and all the new baby things Skylar and I had acquired since Renee’s last visit.

  This conversation lasted all the way through lunch at a burger joint not fair from the airport. Skylar had been craving French fries and neither Renee or I were willing to suggest something else, so we pulled in
to the first diner we passed.

  Now we were all sitting around the table catching up.

  “So how’s Nikki?” Skylar asked as she shifted in her seat. I could tell she was uncomfortable and resisted the urge to whisk her away from the diner and bring her home, where I could lay her down on the couch and pamper her.

  “Nikki is great,” Renee said as she sipped on her soda. “She opened her own florist shop. I’ve been working weekends with her to help her get started. She’s already done a couple of weddings and stuff. It’s pretty awesome. Too bad she wasn’t up and running when you guys got married, she could have done your bouquets and stuff.”

  “Well I’ll recommend her to anyone I know who might need a florist,” I said.

  “She’d appreciate that. If you come back to Houston sometime you’ll have to check out her shop. It’s so cute. Very Nikki. Everything is powder pink and gold and white.”

  “I’m happy for her,” Skylar said, leaning back and rubbing her hands over her belly. She grimaced as she shifted again in an effort to take pressure off something. I couldn’t relate to the level of discomfort she was in, but I wanted to make it go away.

  I dropped some cash on the table and got to my feet. “Okay ladies, let’s take the party back to our place.”

  Skylar rewarded me with an appreciative smile. I had learned how to read all the signs well, and I knew that she wanted to be home so she could relax. She slid out of the booth and put her hand lightly to the back of mine. “I just have to run to the washroom, then we can go.”

  “Alright,” I nodded.

  I watched Skylar disappear into the bathrooms and sat back down across from Renee. She was looking at me with an expression I couldn’t read.

  “You alright?” I asked.

  Renee nodded. “I am. I’m just really glad that you’re in my sister’s life now, Greyson. You’ve made her happier than I’ve ever seen her, and kept her that way. I’m so happy you married her. You were exactly what she needed. A bright light to guide her out of the dark hole she was lost in.”

  “I’m going to keep her happy for as long as I live,” I said.

  “I know,” Renee smiled.

  Skylar

  After waking from an afternoon nap I never intended on having, I joined my sister and Greyson in the kitchen. They were laughing and chatting, and the sound of their happy voices made my heart swell. I took a seat at the table and Greyson fetched me a glass of water. I sipped on it as Renee sipped a glass of white wine.

  Greyson, of course, was preparing us dinner.

  The whole place smelled of the delicious aromas. It wasn’t long before my stomach was growling and I was fighting the temptation to ask how long it would be before we could eat. I knew Greyson would poke fun at me and I didn’t need to give him any more ammo than what he already had. So I held my tongue and watched Greyson as he went about his routine of stirring the gravy while it simmered on the stove. While he managed that he added a bit more spice to the roast chicken steaming on the counter. It must have come out of the oven when I woke from my nap.

  When Greyson put everything out on the table and we tucked in to eat, my mouth was watering. I filled my plate and ate immediately, burning my tongue but ignoring the pain.

  “So,” Renee said after washing down a bite of chicken with a sip of wine, “Is there anything else you guys need before baby arrives? I was thinking since I’m here I could run out and pick up any last minute items for you.”

  “I think we have it all,” I said, looking over at Greyson for confirmation. I didn’t trust myself as much as I used to. The whole ‘pregnancy brain’ thing was not a myth, after all.

  “We’re ready,” Greyson agreed. “As ready as we can be, anyways. I think we have over two thousand diapers in the hallway closet.”

  Renee laughed and stabbed a piece of broccoli with her fork. “You don’t need any more clothes?”

  I put my fork down. “Renee, you’ve already sent us four packages full of baby clothes. No. We don’t need any more clothes. I think she’s going to have a different outfit for everyday of her life at the rate we’re going.”

  “Sounds like the beginning of a Fashionista to me,” Renee said.

  “You have no idea. Greyson is also guilty of going a little crazy with the outfits. Aren’t you, babe?” I shot Greyson a mild accusatory glance.

  He shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “Oh, you mean you don’t have any recollection of coming home the other night with six pairs of shoes for her to wear before she’s three months old?”

  Renee erupted in giggled and slapped her hand on the table. “Her feet will grow so fast you’ll probably just have her in socks most of the time.”

  “That’s what I said,” I muttered. “She’s not even born yet and she’s the most spoiled little girl I know.”

  “Hey,” Greyson said, “She’s our little girl and she deserves the world. And baby shoes are just so tiny and cute. When I saw them I couldn’t help it. I lost all sense of self control and caved and bought them all. Your voice was screaming at me to put them down.”

  I laughed and shook my head. “I love you.”

  “I love you too,” Greyson said.

  “Ugh, stop it you two,” Renee groaned, “I can’t handle all the emotions right now.”

  Greyson grinned as he got to his feet and began gathering the dishes. He loaded them into the dishwasher and tidied the kitchen as Renee and I moved to the living room to find more comfortable spots. I settled into the corner of the sofa that I had claimed as my own, and wrapped my arms around one of the throw pillows. For some reason it took pressure off my back and relieved some of my discomfort.

  When Greyson was done he came and stood behind the sofa and rested a hand on my shoulder. “I’m going to head to bed to read and go to sleep early. You girls catch up. Just don’t stay up too late, okay? You need some rest too.”

  “Okay,” I said, tilting my head back to kiss him when he bent forward.

  “Goodnight Renee,” Greyson called over his shoulder as he made his way up the stairs to our bedroom. “Don’t let her stay up too late. You and I both know she won’t put herself to bed of her own free will.”

  “Goodnight,” Renee called while grinning at me. “I’ll send her up to you shortly.”

  I heard the door close behind Greyson. “Don’t encourage him,” I said.

  “I’m not,” Renee said.

  “Just because I’m pregnant doesn’t mean I can’t take care of myself.”

  “I don’t think that’s what he’s implying. I think this is hard on him. He sees how uncomfortable you are and he knows there isn’t really anything he can do to make it go away. He’s doing everything he can to make sure you’re feeling as good as possible. It’s sweet. He’s sweet. I wish he had a brother.”

  I rolled my eyes and laughed. “You are not the first person who has said that to me.”

  “I don’t doubt it.”

  “He’s been amazing throughout this whole thing, you’re right,” I said. “I’m so lucky to have him.”

  “And he’s lucky to have you. And he knows it,” Renee said.

  “Yeah. It’s still all so surreal. Can you believe it’s already been two years since we first came here? I feel like I’ve known him forever- like he’s always been a part of me, you know?”

  Renee nodded, even though I knew she didn’t quite grasp what I meant.

  “Who would have thought that this is where we would have ended up back at the beginning.”

  “You mean back when we were being held hostage by mobsters?” Renee asked slyly.

  “Yes,” I laughed, “Exactly.”

  “Well, this definitely isn’t what I expected, but it’s what I’ve always wanted for you. I just wanted you to be happy. Whatever that looked like for you I wanted you to find it. I didn’t think it would be with the man who nearly got us killed, but I couldn’t have asked for a better husband for my older
sister.”

  “Thanks, Renee,” I whispered, leaning over and resting a hand on hers. “That means a lot.”

  Renee smiled and we sat together in silence for a moment. When she spoke again she shifted the topic. “So, tell me. Have you guys picked out names yet? The anticipation is killing me. Everyone else I knew who’s having babies had their names picked out before they even found out the gender.”

  I shrugged. “No, no name ideas yet. We both want to wait until she arrives. Then we’ll decide. It’s hard picking a name for a new human. I think when we hold her and see her we will both know the right name for her. At least, that’s what Greyson says.”

  Renee sighed and rested her head against the plush pillows at her back. “He’s so reasonable. And practical. And hot.”

  I gave her a sideways smirk.

  “Pleased with yourself, aren’t you?” She asked.

  I nodded. “You have no idea. I still don’t know how I got here, or why he chose to be with me. But I’m happy he did. I’m so happy he did.”

  “Me too,” Renee said. “Tell me more about being pregnant.”

  “Where do you want me to start?”

  Renee stroked her chin with her thumb and forefinger. “Is it weird when she moves around in there?”

  “It was a little odd at first, but you get used to it. Now it’s as normal as feeling like I have to burp. I’ve been lucky, she’s not very fussy. She’s pretty content in there.”

  “Are you scared?”

  “Scared?” I asked.

  “You know, to give birth?”

  I considered her question for a minute. “I was for the first few months of the pregnancy. I didn’t know what to expect and the only thing I associated with childbirth was pain. As time has gone on and I’ve spent more time with my doctor I’ve realized there’s a lot more to it than that. Even if it’s a painful delivery, at the end of it all, Greyson and I will have our daughter. It will be worth it. Now I’m just ready for her to come already. I’m sick of feeling like a blimp.”