Deepest Desire

by Weston Parker

  Death was all that faced me, and I would be lucky if it wasn't accompanied by something horrific to accompany it.

  Just don't hurt the baby, was my last thought before I blacked out.

  Chapter 27

  Erik

  I slept the rest of the day and all through the night without even turning over. Clarity rested on me the next morning when I woke up, and I was sick over some of the things I'd said to Grace. Get rid of the baby? What the fuck was I talking about? He was a representation of the love between us, of her opening up her beautiful body and letting me in. I was the only man she'd ever let touch her, fuck her, explore her.

  Something like a vice grip tightened in my chest, and I knew what I had to do. It started with an apology. Life was fucked up, and there was no way in hell I was bringing her into my darkness, but I'd figure out a way to kill my old man or run to another country and hide. Either way, she and my son would be beside me.

  I walked to the bathroom and splashed some cold water on my face. Yesterday was a blur of sorts, as if someone had been putting something in my food. What the hell?

  The sound in the hallway caught my attention, and I moved toward the kitchen to find Lizzy and my father wrapped up together, talking about something softly. A bottle of liquid Vicodin sitting next to a plate with breakfast on it.

  "No fucking way," I mumbled and turned, jogging through the house and making it outside without anyone seeing me. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and texted Cole, expecting a response right away. Nothing. "Whatever."

  I drove to the library, breaking every rule known to man only to find out that Grace hadn't shown up for her shift that morning.

  Had she left town like I told her to? I called Jenna, hoping she would answer, but only got her voicemail.

  "Where the fuck is everyone?"

  Nate's number appeared on my phone, and I answered it. "Nate."

  "Hey man. Sorry to bother you, but Jenna's pretty upset. She was supposed to meet Grace for breakfast this morning, but Grace never showed."

  "Did she call?" I got back on the bike.

  "No, man. Do you know where she might be?" He sounded sick.

  "No, but I'm headed over to her place now. I saw her yesterday, and things didn't go too well, but I'm praying like hell that her missing isn't because of me. Have Jenna call her brother, Thomas. I'll check in shortly."

  My body ached, but I ignored it, pushing harder on the bike until I pulled up to her place. I ran from the bike to her door, popping the lock and hoping that I'd find her half-dressed and pissed as a hornet about me breaking into her place.

  "Grace? Kitten?" I walked through the house, finding everything in place. "Damn." I jogged back down and found her car in the parking lot, which was even more reason to panic. Where the hell could she be?

  Nate called a minute later. "Thomas has no clue, dude. We need to track her phone."

  "It was sitting in her kitchen, Nate." I ran my fingers through my hair and pulled. "Goddammit. I swear if anything happened to her, I'll kill everyone involved."

  "Walk me through what happened yesterday, man. You went over there and what? Did you talk about her being pregnant?"

  "Yes, but my father's maid has been giving me Vicodin, dude. I was out of it yesterday. I faintly remember you coming by, but not much more."

  "You shot at me twice, you cock." He didn't sound too thrilled.

  "Foreplay, Nate. Get over it." I let out a breath I was holding. "We have to find her. I'll go back by the library."

  "Find Cole. He'll know where she's at."

  The idea alone chapped my ass. "And why would Cole know where my girl is, Nate?"

  "Dude, I don't know why the cop has a hard-on for you, okay? He's watching your back non-stop. That's why he knows where she is. He's been treating her like a little sister since you guys became a thing. Sue him, but don't hate him. He's on your side."

  "But why?" I screamed into the phone, gaining some odd looks from a couple of older women who walked by.

  "Find Cole, Erik. Stop worrying about the why and let's just find him and Grace."

  "Fine, but this shit isn't over. When everything is settled, I'm tying his ugly ass up and beating him until he comes clean on what the fuck he's up to."

  "Deal. I'll help."

  "Liar." I dropped the call and drove back to the library to find that Grace hadn't come in still. The older woman at the front desk appeared worried. It would seem that Grace hadn't been late to work but twice in three years, and had never missed a shift.

  "Where are you?" I walked around at the base of the stairs that led to the library and tried to call Cole again. It went straight to voice mail. "Fuck." I did the one thing I didn't want to do. I called my father.

  "Erik."

  "Dad. Where's Cole? I need to talk with him."

  "He's here, son." My father's voice was cold, detached.

  "Alright. I'll be there shortly."

  "Fredrick Carrington has a daughter that we'll be holding as collateral for his missing payment." He cleared his throat. "I don't want you taking the girl though."

  "Alright. Then why are you telling me about it?" I sounded a little more asinine than I should have.

  He chuckled. "Because this will be your syndicate soon, Erik. You need to know the inner-workings of what's going on. Thomas Adams owes us a chunk of his flesh but seeing that you let him live, we're going take our payback in a different manner."

  "Thomas is a pussy. He's not going to take the girl if that's what you're thinking."

  "Sure he is, Erik. Every man has something that matters to him. You just have to find what it is, capture it and threaten him with its vitality. If he fucks up or doesn't do every last thing I ask him to do, then his college career will be ruined."

  I let out a long exhale. "Thomas cares about his degree more than anything else?"

  "Yes."

  "Above his sister?"

  "Yes, son. She's not his greatest weakness. She's yours."

  Something in his voice made my blood run cold. "What have you done?"

  "Nothing that you won't one day do too. Come home. Let's talk about our next steps." His voice almost held a chuckle to it.

  "I'll kill you if you touch her!" I screamed into the phone as any semblance of hope drained out of me.

  "No son. That's not the way the game is played. Leverage is the best weapon for battle, and you don't have it on me. Everything I love was taken from me years ago, you included." He cleared his throat. "This syndicate is all I have, and you will honor it, grow it and make it your own when I'm dead."

  "I hate you."

  "And I hated my father too. Come home and let's figure out where we go from here."

  "Do you have Grace?" I pressed my fingers to the bridge of my nose and prayed to whoever might be listening above.

  "You know I do, Erik. Come get her." The phone went dead, and a scream ripped from me that left my vision dimming. He had my woman. And my baby. There was no plan other than to massacre him.

  The man who raised me. Who held me during my mother's death? Who tucked me in at night and promised to always take care of me.

  The man I loved and in some way always would.

  ***

  I drove out to my father's place with every possible situation running through my head. I would have to play the villain once again. There was no getting around it. I couldn't help but wonder if Cole was involved. If he were working with my father to make all of this shit fall into place.

  After turning the corner a little too fast and almost losing control of the bike, I pulled into my father's driveway and got off of the bike, putting a bullet in the heads of three of his guys as I walked through the house without a care for my own safety.

  I'd never run the syndicate. Once my father was dead, so was his precious mafia family. I'd kill anyone who disagreed and let the rest roam free. There had to be peace somewhere at the end of the long road before me. I refused to think anything different.

  "
Dad?" I called out and pressed my back against the wall just outside of his office.

  "Come on in, Erik."

  I opened the door and lifted my gun, walking in to find him standing behind Grace. Her mouth was bound and eyes wide with horror as her makeup dripped down her beautiful face. He had his arm around her, his fucking hand on her stomach.

  "Let her go. Now!" I let a shot go off just beside his head, scraping his ear.

  Grace screamed and shook in his arms.

  "Stop that. You're scaring her." He lifted his gun and pressed it to the side of her head. "She's in the way, Erik. She's going to be the death of you."

  "Then I'll die happy." I let off another round. Hitting him in the shoulder. "I'm the best sharp shooter you got. You're playing a fucked up game right now." The emotions running through me were enough to make me wish for my death, but that would come soon. I had no doubt. My only concern was to save Grace and our son. They came first and always would.

  "Then choose, boy." He pressed his cheek against Grace's and whispered something into her ear as she cried out and shook harder, her sobs causing her little frame to twitch violently.

  "Stop it," I barked out. "This doesn't have to end like this. You had mom. Why can't I have Grace? What the fuck does it matter to you? She's not yours to keep safe. She's mine!"

  "And you'll lose her, just like I lost your mother." My father glanced up, his steely eyes filled with so much regret. "I'm so tired, Erik. I'm tired of being a monster, and yet every time I let my guard down, death crept in during the night and stole my woman, my baby girl." He rested his chin on Grace's shoulder as she continued to cry. "I've heard your sister’s screams in my head since the day they took her." He closed his eyes and let out a soft cry. "You know how?"

  "Don't do this." I swallowed my sadness and shook my head. "You're all I have left of them. Don't make me choose between you and Grace, Dad. It would have been you a few months ago, but it's not anymore."

  "I know." He opened his eyes and stood up straight. "I made sure of that. No one could get away with killing me but you, Erik. Only you, my son." He nodded. "And it's time. I've built up an intolerable amount of hate inside of you, and now... I'm going to kill your woman and your child with her. You can't let that happen."

  "Just move away from her, Dad. Stop this shit. We can figure things out." I glanced over at Grace, and our eyes met. She understood all too well what was happening. My father was ready to die, and the only man he'd let take his life and live to tell about it was me. I swallowed hard and nodded at her, trying to reassure her that if things went to hell any more than they already had... I'd kill him. She was my number one focus, and I loved her with a swell of emotion that scared me.

  "Listen to me."

  I turned my attention back to my Dad. "No, you listen to me."

  He flipped the safety off the gun and moved it down to rest against Grace's belly as she cried out again. "No! You listen to me. This syndicate is what it is because of your mother's sacrifice. It's here and standing strong because of my sacrifice, because of your sister's death and your skill. It's yours to continue. You don't have a choice, Erik."

  "Yes, I do." I put my finger on the trigger as sadness filled my father's face.

  "No, son. Forgive me for the safeguards I've put in place. It's only for your own good. No one walks from a syndicate and lives. The other families will come to devour you, to snuff out the last seed of our name if you don't stand strong." He lifted the gun back to Grace's pretty head. "If you walk away, I have a triggered hit on you and Grace. Don't try me in it, Erik. There's no warning, son. Death will show up in the middle of the night and leave you bloody and bare. It'll force you to hear the screams of your children as they are destroyed, Erik."

  "Please stop," Grace cried out and sagged in my father's arms. "Please. Erik. Make it stop. Please."

  "Dad. Please." I turned my attention back to my father as he nodded at me and took a deep breath.

  "It's me or her, son. I'm tired. I don't wanna do this anymore. My demons are too much. Choose now. When I get to three, I'll choose."

  "No. Dad. Fuck." I took a few steps toward him as he jerked his gun just behind Grace's head and fired it, hitting the wall beside her. She screamed so loudly it echoed in my ears, and I didn't wait to fire my weapon.

  It hit him square in the head, and he closed his eyes as if relieved before sinking to the ground beside her.

  A scream ripped out of me as I turned and crumpled to the ground. I'd lost everyone I loved because of this fucking syndicate, because of misunderstandings and vengeance. I had to walk away, but his final words rang in my head.

  I'd always be trapped. Both of us would.

  Epilogue

  Two weeks later

  Erik

  The last two weeks had been a blur.

  We buried my father in the graveyard he'd picked out for him and my Mother. Delaney's little grave was on the other side of him. I couldn't shake the fact that I'd been the one to put him in the ground. Though the sorry bastard had planned it that way, it didn't make sleeping at night any easier.

  I woke up every night drenched in sweat, my heart racing and a scream on the tip of my tongue. The only thing that got me through was having Grace, Cole, and Kane beside me at all times. Solitude was overrated and left me lost. It wouldn’t be forever, but for now… I needed all of them. To feel secure. To feel complete. To feel alive at all.

  "Erik. Can I get you a drink, baby?" Grace stood at the doorway to my father's office, both of us trying to figure each other out.

  "No." I shook my head and averted my eyes from her. I had to find a way to let her go. She didn't deserve to be stuck next to me in the hell that was to always be my life. I reached out as my phone buzzed, seeing a message from Cole. He needed to talk. It could wait. Everything could wait.

  "Please talk to me." She walked over to my side of the desk and sank down on her knees as she reached out and ran her hands up my chest. "Please. I love you so much. I'm sorry for everything that's happened, but you're not getting rid of me."

  "Grace." I reached out and cupped her beautiful face in my hands before leaning down and pressing my lips against hers. I rolled my tongue deep into her warm, wet mouth before sucking at her bottom lip and enjoying the sound of her whimper. I hadn't touched her in a month, pleasure something I wanted to deny myself of as long as I could. It was sick and wrong, but I was too.

  "Baby, open up to me." She pushed me back and crawled up into my lap, sliding her legs around my waist and pressing her breasts to my chest. "I know what all of this means, and I'm right here. Look at me, Erik."

  I gazed up into her warm brown eyes as my cock grew hard and my pulse picked up. She smelled so good. Like heaven. "I'll figure out a way to get you out of this. I'm not raising my son with ten guards around us."

  "And I'm not raising him without you." She leaned in and kissed the tip of my nose, surprising me a little. "Wake up and take charge of our life. It's the only one we get. If that means you're a fucking mob boss, then so the hell what. At least we can be together. I'm not going anywhere."

  "I'm a monster. My father made sure I would always be one." I ran my hands down her back and cupped her perky little ass, gripping it tightly and rolled my hips. "I wanna bury myself so deep inside of you that you whine and beg me to pull back out."

  She licked at the side of my throat and rolled her hips. "Do it. I need to feel you so fucking bad right now."

  Her nipples pressed against my chest as the scent of her arousal reached my nose and caused my mouth to water.

  "I have to collect from Thomas, Grace. I can't wipe that slate clean. That's how this shit works." I cupped her from behind and ran my fingers by her pussy, playing with her lips as she glanced up at me, worry filling her eyes.

  "You have to kill him? My brother?"

  "No, baby, but my father left explicit instructions as to what your brother's punishment is for stealing from my family." I used my free hand to brush her lo
ng dark hair back. "He's going to become a different man because of it, Grace. I can't stop that."

  "Just don't kill him, Erik." She leaned in and kissed me softly. "If you could save him, would you?"

  "For you? Yes." I lifted her up and sat her on the desk before standing up. "Lay back and open your legs for me."

  She moaned low in her chest and laid back, the position jutting out her small breasts and giving me a good view of her swollen stomach. It wasn't too much to notice, but I loved it all the same. Reaching up, I ran my hands over her tits and down to cup her abdomen.

  "Wrap your legs around me, kitten." I leaned forward, making sure not to rest on the baby too much. "Forgive me for anything my father leaves me to do. I can ignore the rest of the world, but I could never get past you looking at me with hate or disgust."

  I ran my hand over her legs and moved back to undo my slacks. My fingers played along the edge of her panties as I worked my boxer briefs over my hips and took hold of my cock.

  "I don't know if I could ever stop loving you." She gripped the edge of the desk and pulled until her ass was hanging off the edge a little.

  "It's going to be a bad day for both of us if you ever do." I reached over and grabbed a pair of scissors from my father's desk, cutting her panties straight across the front so I could access her fully.

  "Why didn't you just take them off?" She gripped my hands as I pressed into her and growled.

  "I wasn't thinking. You do that to me."

  Her wetness wrapped around me and the world disappeared for a moment. The sound of her sweet moans mixed with the delicious electricity building in my stomach was enough to force away any tainted thought.

  "Do you think some desires are best left uncovered, Erik?" Her question came out in between soft pants and loud moans as I fucked her deep and hard.

  "Maybe some are, kitten, but not ours. I'm going to open up every secret place within you and explore it for the rest of our lives."