Blue Moon

by Angela Colsin

  “Okay,” she whispered softly, then shifted to push her legs beneath the covers while he turned slightly so that he wouldn't hold the blankets down.

  As she settled, he asked, “Ashley, when you dream about what happened, what do you see?”

  That was a question she really had to think about. Ashley's dreams were so chaotic that she couldn’t get a good glimpse of things, and she also didn't know what was real or imagined.

  Sometimes, she'd see the basement she'd been locked in. Other times, she remembered the outdoors, and it always felt like a struggle was taking place whenever she did.

  But something a little more specific surfaced while trudging through the disjointed images. “Sometimes, I see a red cabin with an old, light blue pick up truck parked next to it. I think there's a cage in the bed, and whenever I see it, I feel fear and anger.”

  “A red cabin and a light blue truck?”

  She nodded silently before adding, “It's out in the woods, I think, but too vague to remember clearly. For some reason, I get the feeling that the cabin’s actually a church because I remember seeing a cross outside on a sign. I just can’t remember what it says.”

  Ashley focused, trying to get her memories to come back more clearly. But nothing was working. Just when she was about to give up, she opened her eyes and gasped.

  “One eye.”

  “What?”

  Looking back at Cade finally, she whispered, “I remember a man with one eye. He was an older man with a beard, but I can't . . . I don't know who he is.”

  She felt agitated now, unsettled, hearing the old man's laugh in her head, which was more of a cackle, mocking and cold. She wanted to try to remember more, a name maybe, but Cade put a hand on her arm, getting her attention.

  “Hey, don't think about it anymore, Ashley. You'll upset yourself.”

  She exhaled as he added, “Besides, that's a lot more than I had. So get some rest and we'll talk more about it later.”

  Ashley decided he was right. Turning, she closed her eyes and drew her knees up toward her chest, becoming a little ball under the blankets while trying to relax. Instead of her captivity, she turned her mind to the present and the people she'd met.

  Her prospects in Arkin City were good. She had a job, and she liked everyone there so far. It was a comforting thought, and if she could just get over her interest in Cade Hodgins and gain control of herself, she'd be good to go.

  But why was she so damned interested in Cade to begin with? He was rough around the edges and kind of grumpy. Still, there was a side of him that was kind and caring too, something that was surfacing over time.

  Not to mention he was damned sexy, with a perfect smile that melted her whenever it grew so wolfish, and a body she figured most women only dreamed about. Then again, that was a point against him—too much competition. Besides, he didn't seem completely interested anyway.

  So make him interested, Ashley!

  Ashley tensed, completely uncertain where the thought came from. This wasn't how she usually dealt with attraction, which was to give up without even trying. Now, she was telling herself to seduce him, or that assertive side of her nature was anyway.

  The biggest difference of all? Not only was she telling herself to do it, but she even believed she could. Hello confidence, I don't think we've met.

  For the time being, Ashley decided that she should get a few more hours rest, and when she came to, everything would make a hell of a lot more sense again. Maybe then she could figure out her inner workings a little more easily.

  Or, so she hoped anyway.

  Chapter 19

  “Cade, you realize this is the fifth time you've worked Ashley into the conversation since you've been here, don't you?”

  Cade was at his brothers' garage that afternoon, looking at a car they'd been building. It wasn't much more than a frame with wheels currently, but they always did good work.

  He spent a while helping them get parts together, and looking over scraps that might be useable in their effort. Afterward, they headed back to the office for a short break when Caleb pointed out that he'd been bringing Ashley up repeatedly.

  Cade stared at his little brother while trying to recount in his head to see if Caleb was right, followed by groaning the word, “Shit.”

  Caleb started chuckling. “You sound like a lovesick pup. Your instincts are goin' hard.”

  “My instincts need to leave me alone,” Cade muttered.

  Earlier that morning, the twins came to the house with Joslyn and Sara. They had a gift for Ashley, being a black apron with red words in wild print that read HCIC: Head Chef in Charge across the chest.

  Ashley adored it, hugging each of them in thanks. But before they'd come along, she'd been hesitant with Cade. He knew it was because of their unexpected kiss the night before. Now she was embarrassed, and she'd closed up on him completely.

  Cade didn't like it one damned bit.

  “Why?” Conner asked from the other side of the room where he stood next to a calendar of bikini babes hanging on the wall—all Caleb's doing. “Because she might actually make you happy?”

  “No, because it's not the right time,” Cade retorted. “She was just found on a bus after going through hell and needs to settle into her new life.”

  Conner took that in, inquiring curiously, “Something happen last night after you two went home?”

  “Yeah,” Cade muttered.

  Caleb put his legs up on the desk while Conner turned to sit on it, both of them waiting for a response. So Cade began telling them about Ashley's bad dream and her reaction to it.

  “Once I got her calmed down,” he finished, “she kissed me, and I kissed her back.”

  The twins exchanged a look, and Caleb asked, “Then what?”

  “I didn't want to take advantage because she's vulnerable, so I pushed her away.”

  Conner asked, “What did she do?”

  “Apologized, told me she wasn't thinking, promised to never do it again. She's shy, so that just makes the timing even worse. Now she's all closed up on me.”

  “Good job, bro,” Caleb chuckled.

  “Shut up, Caleb,” he shot back.

  His brother conceded with a grin. “So what are you gonna do then?”

  “Focus on the pack chasing her first.”

  “That's not how it works, Cade,” Conner warned. “You can try to distance yourself all you want to, but in the end, your instinct's not gonna let it go. You'll bond regardless of the timing if she's your mate.”

  Cade didn't want to consider that quirk of lupine relationships. Given time, Cade's primal nature would bond with Ashley's if she was his lifelong mate. While not irrevocable, it was the path leading to permanency, and made for an intense relationship—particularly on the physical side.

  Stubbornly, he insisted, “I'm more interested in figuring out what that pack wants with her precisely, why they followed her here.”

  Conner scoffed as if knowing from experience that Cade could try to run from it all he wanted to, but the bonding would happen anyway. Cade rolled his eyes over the notion, grateful when Conner decided to change the subject instead of pressing the issue.

  But his suggestion had Cade feeling murderous.

  “They may think of her as being their property.”

  Cade almost let an audible growl, but just managed to stop himself. Ashley was not their property, and he'd kill any number of them to prove it.

  “Maybe,” Caleb agreed. “But you'd think they'd stop hunting her now that she's with another pack. They can't be dumb enough not to know we're here.”

  “Hell, they probably don't care,” Conner muttered. “They could also be chasing her because they don't know what she remembers about them.”

  “True. It's too bad Travis is still stuck in Louisiana,” Caleb pointed out. “Hunter's Moon won't do anything until we have more information, but he'd get someone out here for the intruders at least.”

  Their uncle was trying to settle a
territory dispute in Baton Rouge, and Cade called him that morning to relay what was going on. Travis wasn't too happy that he was stuck out of state when he heard it, but he was so busy he didn't have a lot of time to talk.

  All he could do was tell Cade to keep him updated and he'd try to get back soon.

  “We're just gonna have to keep watch ourselves,” Cade pointed out.

  “Should I go out again tonight? Take Hobbs and see what's what?” Caleb asked.

  “Yeah, but stay in the territory. If they're still out there, I don't want 'em catching my wolves and using one to barter for another.”

  “You should put a watch on all ends,” Conner suggested, “just in case they realize we're patrolling and try to slip in somewhere else undetected.”

  “I was just thinking that,” Cade mentioned. “I'll call some people tonight and get it set up. I need to go to Blue Moon too. Ashley told me about a cabin last night that she remembered seeing in her dreams, and I think Aislinn might be able to haze for it.”

  Aislinn was a hostess at Blue Moon, but that was only her second job. More specifically, she was a human witch who did things for Cade's pack from time to time, and her talents could help in these matters.

  With any luck, she could use her magic to figure out where this cabin was located in specific. Cade just hoped there wasn't some kind of stipulation on the method she used to do it, or if there was, that he could meet the demand.

  “Speaking of which,” Conner mentioned, looking at his wrist watch, “didn't you say you had to be back by three?”

  “Yeah,” Cade started, having forgotten the time. Before he'd come to the garage, Ashley went with his sister on another outing, but Sara had to work later that afternoon.

  Ashley urged Cade to go see his brothers and spend some time with them before she left, and he had to admit he was glad he listened. Missed this kind of thing.

  Heading to the exit, Cade said on the way, “I'll see you guys later. Also,” he stopped at the door and looked back at them. “Let's keep this stuff with Ashley between us for now. I don't want a bunch of jealous females trying to jump her or something.”

  Caleb snorted. “You confused yourself with me, Cade. I'm the one they want.”

  Conner rolled his eyes over his twin's boast. “Don't worry, I'll make sure he keeps his big mouth shut. Take it easy, bro.”

  “Thanks, you too. And stay ready. If I happen to find the jackass we've been looking for, I'm gonna make sure we all get a piece of him.”

  Cade left their office with that promise, then drove off the lot.

  On the way home, he thought for a while about his instincts regarding Ashley. Would it be so bad if he started bonding with her? Not specifically, but damned if he wanted to scare her when she seemed so timid in addition to being in a bad position.

  She wasn't home when he arrived, so Cade headed into the study right of the front door and sat down behind the computer desk. There, he quietly stared into space, wondering about Ashley's sudden appearance in his life.

  He'd been ready to pass her up at first, but the more he thought about it, the more his instincts told him they'd be good together, and somehow, the idea just felt right.

  Ashley was sweet, caring, spirited, and he loved her wide hazel eyes, not to mention her smile.

  Was she really his mate after all?

  He leaned forward in his chair, staring down at the floor under the desk without actually looking while he wondered about it. But after a moment, something in his line of sight caught his attention.

  It looked like the corner of a piece of paper sticking out from behind the wooden leg of the desk against the wall, and he pushed himself forward to snag it.

  Cade sat back in the chair once he'd pulled it free, holding the item up to see that it was actually a picture, one which surprised him. I thought I'd lost this.

  It was his favorite picture of Henry and himself when he was seven years old. Cade was standing on a table in the image, back to back with his father. They both had their arms crossed, looking at the camera with comically slick expressions on their faces.

  He smiled, remembering the day he'd torn the study apart trying to find the image when it was lost. Now he knew why it hadn't turned up—he'd never moved the desk.

  It felt good to see it again, but at the same time, it was hard to look at.

  A whole year and still nothing . . .

  ~*~*~*~

  Ashley finally learned the fate of Henry Hodgins.

  With two bags in hand, she stepped into the house and shut the door. While out, Sara told her all about her father's murder, and though a newborn wolf, Ashley was shocked to learn that the last Alpha of the pack was the culprit.

  Not only that, but she was also saddened to know that Henry died in Cade's arms just as the paramedics arrived. That's like adding insult to injury.

  Sara also told her about how Cade took up leadership of the pack and put two others out of business for turning unwitting humans like herself. That only made Ashley admire him even more, which didn't help in her bid to keep her attraction from growing any stronger. Starting to think that's a lost cause.

  Still, she wanted to do something nice for Cade after everything she'd learned, and Sara mentioned his love of strawberries when she asked about his favorite foods.

  So Ashley decided to make something her grandmother had been famous for—chocolate strawberry cheesecake.

  It was the least she could do, not only to express her gratitude, but also offer some indirect comfort.

  “Cade?” Ashley asked after stepping inside, knowing he was home because his truck was in the driveway, but she didn't see him in the living room.

  “In here, Ash,” he replied.

  She looked to the right, walking to the door to see Cade sitting on the loveseat in the study.

  “Just wanted to let you know I was back. I,” she stopped, seeing that he didn't look very well.

  His eyes were cloudy with grief, giving her the nearly undeniable desire to go to him and offer comfort.

  “You need to be alone?” she asked instead. “I can shut the door.”

  “No, it's okay.” He was looking at a picture in his hand as he added, “I found something I thought I'd lost.”

  “What is it?”

  He motioned for her to come over, which was surprising. She figured most men didn't want to be bothered when they became emotional, but Cade didn't seem to mind. So she put her bags on the floor nearby and sat down next to him.

  Taking the picture to examine, she grinned, exclaiming, “Oh my god, is that you?”

  He nodded while she added, “I can tell that's your dad. You look like a couple of smooth criminals.”

  It was hard to believe the little boy she saw there was the same man next to her, and Henry looked friendly. Now Ashley knew where Cade got his size anyway, as well as his hair color, but Henry's eyes were more of an amber brown like the twins'.

  She handed the picture back, and Cade took it to place inside of a book sitting idly on the end table next to him for safekeeping as he explained, “I was seven years old and into superhero comic books, so Mom took a picture of us posing like you'd see on the covers. My dad used to tell me that when I got older, I'd start changing into a wolf, and it would be my super ability. So I told my teachers I was gonna be a superhero when I grew up because Dad said so.”

  Ashley grinned over the story, wishing her own father was more like that. “He sounds like he was a great guy. I'm sorry I never got to meet him.”

  “He would've liked you. Probably gotten you to help him play some pranks on me.”

  Ashley chuckled over the thought, but Cade's expression became grim. She knew he was still hurting, and the urge to comfort him resurfaced.

  “You know, you shouldn't be sitting in here alone thinking about this. Sara told me what happened.”

  Cade's countenance went a little more stark, his response simple. “No, I did need to think about him, about the good things. I keep remem
bering the bad too damned much.”

  “You blame yourself, don't you?”

  “I did,” he admitted. “I didn't make it there in time, and figured shutting myself off from everything I used to enjoy would make up for it.”

  Ashley found herself putting a hand on his shoulder. “Didn't work, did it?”

  “No,” he muttered. “I feel like I'm still sitting in that field where he died last year. I know that's not what he wanted for me, but it's so damned hard to move on when I haven't brought justice to his name.”

  The way he'd spoken those words tore at her heart.

  “Cade,” she whispered, taking his hand without realizing it, “you know you will, don't you? You just have to live your life for yourself until you do. Giving up the things you enjoy isn't gonna help.”

  Cade was quietly staring down at their hands when Ashley realized what she'd done, but she didn't try to move it. She owed it to him to make sure he was well, and only wished she knew what he was thinking.

  Then he looked at her, and Ashley wished he didn't. Like the night before, she had the urge to lean in and kiss him again, and she really didn't want to do that now of all times.

  But Cade turned slowly and pulled her into a firm embrace, his arms winding around her back. Ashley stilled for a moment, but gently put her own arms around him in turn, closing her eyes with his cheek next to hers while trying to forget how damned good it felt being so close to him.

  This was about his grief, not her infatuation.

  “I know,” he murmured. “It's something I'm working on now, Ash.”

  He didn't sound overburdened with grief, only sincere, and Ashley was glad for it. She supposed he just needed someone there to talk to, and it was nice to get a chance to comfort him for once. Lord knew he'd done enough of that for her already.

  She didn't want to move, inhaling his scent deeply, once again feeling safe and even at home. But she forced her eyes open, deciding she should mention something to make sure this didn't end with her embarrassing herself like the night before.

  “I have something that might help you feel a little better.”

  His grip loosened and he slowly sat back. Though his eyes were cloudy, there was a warm smile on his face. “What's that?”