You're looking at this like a damned human. Her anger flared. Now, every time she tried to reason things through, she kept questioning her viewpoints. But she needed to think about it all, not step into something blindly.
The longer she laid in bed, the more she wanted to go downstairs to at least yell at Cade. But she refused to until she knew what to say precisely. Calling him a jackass has its merits.
Sadly, that wouldn't be enough. She'd have to figure it all out. Despite my human way of thinking about it. Ashley rolled her eyes.
Bonding, she thought—the term was put to good use. Even though she was angry, she was still longing for the closeness she'd experienced with Cade earlier, wanting to forget he'd ever said anything wrong and just be with him.
The connection she'd felt to him was something she'd yearned for all along.
Still, while it relieved her immensely to know he wasn't actually upset with her, learning he harbored this kind of interest seemed so sudden that she'd been knocked for a proverbial loop. Then again, maybe the abruptness of his announcement wasn't the problem, but instead, the brief amount of time she'd known him—specifically when this bonding led to something permanent.
The mere concept was telling of how different lupine relationships were. In the human world, there were no unbreakable connections. Marriage had divorce, dating had breakups.
Marking, however, was irrevocable.
But Ashley realized she'd be a liar if she said there wasn't a part of her that had hoped for that kind of tie with Cade. When she considered this bonding, all of the interest she'd felt for him made more sense. So grudgingly, she wondered if he was actually right about the way she looked at this. How would she feel if she'd been born a lupine?
Most of them seemed content with their mates, and the idea of having such a bond wasn't unpleasant. Ashley did want to settle down one day and have a family too. But she also wanted to be in love when she did.
She'd come to care for Cade deeply, but love? Puppy love maybe, as corny as it sounds now.
Still, maybe bonding was meant to give them a chance to know one another first. Her instincts were telling her to accept it, accept him. Weren't you ready to kill for a shot with him before?
It wasn't as if she still behaved in the same way she did as a human either. Earlier, she was ready to give Cade whatever he wanted, but as a human, she wouldn't have been quite as uninhibited.
These changes were coming about because she felt stronger however, and honestly, it was a nice change. But she did still cling to her human way of thinking, otherwise she would've told Cade about the way she was feeling sooner—and saved herself a headache.
No more, she decided. From here on out, you should listen to your gut.
After all, her instincts were right about many things so far, such as trusting Leo, which put her in a better place. But that meant accepting how possessive she'd become of Cade, and that there was something developing between them that felt right.
Could she give it a try? As long as he knows what he said was hurtful, I can forgive him.
Ashley tossed and turned until she found herself sitting up in bed, unable to stay there mulling it over any longer.
She needed to confront Cade at least.
Jump his bones at most.
Ashley grumbled at the impulsive thought. As if I'd know how.
Still, she now had a million good ways in mind to say what she needed to, and headed to the door while wondering if Cade was awake or not. But if he'd been sleeping like a baby while she was tossing and turning, her anger was going to redouble.
Leaving her room, she became distracted when banging sounded at the front door. It was only around five in the morning, but someone apparently decided to drop by.
At the top of the steps, Ashley came to a stop, wondering who in the hell was there. She could even hear them yelling outside. The words weren't clear enough to understand, but they were definitely angry.
Grabbing the bannister, she knelt down on the steps and saw Cade going to the door. The banging and yelling stopped only moments before he'd taken the knob, and outside, Ashley could see two people she'd never met before, a man and a woman.
Thankful for her keen vision and hearing at that particular moment, she stayed quiet to listen to whatever was said.
Somehow, she got the feeling this had to do with her.
~*~*~*~
Having someone angrily banging at his front door in the middle of the night was the last thing Cade needed.
After tossing and turning in frustration over the urge to go to Ashley, the only thing that kept him on the couch wasn't just her request for time, but also the notion of what he would do.
Cade was on the edge, and Ashley had next to no experience. So all possible endings to any scenario he could cook up to apologize to her ended with and then he scared the hell out of her.
It was definitely better if she came to him first.
Because of this, he wasn't feeling particularly agreeable, meaning his visitors picked the wrong time to drop by.
Cade got up to open the door, seeing William's brother, a bronze haired lupine named Christian Harper, standing on the porch with Elizabeth Donald, William's unmarked mate. She was the one who'd been pounding on the door and yelling, though now Christian had an arm around her waist as if he'd pulled her away and was trying to talk some sense into her.
Both of them stopped when they saw Cade.
Christian released Elizabeth in order to step in front of her and gain a jump start on the conversation. While Cade knew he needed to give a proper account of what happened anyway, he hoped this didn't devolve into an aggressive situation considering his current state of mind, and probably theirs.
But surely enough, his ire only grew when Christian couldn't give him a greeting before inquiring, “Where is she, Cade?”
“Who?”
Before Christian could say another word, Elizabeth chimed in, “That newborn bitch who led those fuckers here and got William killed!”
When Cade realized they were taking their anger out on Ashley, he pushed the door open so hard that it slammed against the wall as he stepped outside.
“Be careful how you talk about her,” he growled sternly, stopping only a few steps from where his packmates stood while clenching his fists for control. “She's mine, and this isn't her fault. So you'll have to take it up with me, and I'm already on edge.”
Neither one of them looked happy, but where they'd been angry a moment before, now they hesitated. Hearing their Alpha staking a claim on their target of vengeance was unexpected.
Still, Elizabeth, who looked both angry as well as distraught, retorted, “I was bonding with William, Cade! I can't just let this go!”
Cade was able to understand where she was coming from easily, but she was blaming the wrong person for what happened.
“So you show up here at five in the morning to start shit?” he asked, not impressed at all despite her loss.
Elizabeth was ready to say more, but she stopped when Christian put a hand on her shoulder.
“Beth,” he started, shaking his head. “Let me handle this.”
She didn't look happy, but stayed quiet, allowing Christian to ask Cade, “Tell us what the hell we're supposed to do? The son of a bitch who did this got away!”
“But his Alpha didn't. We have him, and if you can control yourself, you can help keep watch on him.”
Christian's expression softened ever so slightly. He'd been out of town for a week now visiting with family, so Cade knew the news of his brother's death hit him hard.
But thankfully, he seemed willing to cooperate when he said, “I'm listening.”
Cade explained everything, including the reason why the captive Alpha was being kept alive for now. When he was finished, Christian considered it.
“More of them will come back to try to find their Alpha,” he pointed out, “you know that, don't you?”
“They're after Ashley anyway, so it doesn't
matter. It's why I set up tighter patrol. She caught their scent in the city the night she arrived, so we knew they were following her.”
Cade couldn't keep the anger out of his voice when he added, “But Ashley was hurt just as much as you've been. She was turned against her will when she didn't even know we existed. I lost my father because of these bastards, Chris. We've all been wronged, but that sure as hell isn't Ashley's fault.”
“And you're bonding with her?”
“I am,” Cade confirmed, then looked at Elizabeth, adding, “so I understand your need for vengeance, but I wanna know if you're gonna push this with her.”
Elizabeth's head tilted down as Christian reached to put a comforting arm over her shoulders while telling Cade, “I won't push this with Ashley.”
Cade was glad to hear it. But Elizabeth felt differently.
“I will,” she growled, turning a hard gaze at Cade. “I respect you as Alpha, Cade, but I don't want that little bitch in the pack if she's bringing this kind of bullshit to the territory. You'll just have to stand up for her if you want her in.”
That was in Elizabeth's rights, and Cade couldn't argue no matter how much he thought her grief was clouding her judgment.
So on a hard tone of his own, he retorted, “Then that's what we'll do. But if her place isn't with the pack, mine won't be either, and I doubt our wolves will feel threatened enough by her joining to contest her. You want revenge, Beth, and I don't blame you for it, but Ashley's the wrong target.”
Elizabeth let a growl before turning to go to her car with her mind made up.
Christian grumbled as she drove away, telling his Alpha, “When I got back and found out what happened, Beth was already on the way here in a fit. I didn't stop her in time, otherwise we would've come later.”
“It's okay, she has a right to be upset,” Cade gave. “But I won't stand by and let her push Ashley around because of it.”
“I know, and I'll stand by Ashley tonight in case Beth riles anyone else over this.”
“Thank you,” Cade replied, glad that Christian was satisfied in knowing they had one of the culprits of William's death to pay for things.
“Whenever you need me to watch that asshole, give me a call,” Christian added. “But I have to ask if you really think it's smart not to tell your uncle or notify Hunter's Moon just so a draconian can find a curse box.”
“For now, it'll be fine,” Cade returned. “It won't take Aislinn long to give me a place.”
“All right,” he gave, “then I'll see you later.”
As Christian left, Cade considered everything, specifically with Elizabeth and how he couldn't blame her for being so upset. Right or wrong, she was contesting Ashley's joining. But things could've turned up much worse.
Cade was simply glad William hadn't marked Elizabeth yet, otherwise she probably would've followed.
It reminded him of his mother's reaction when his father was killed. Today, Rose Hodgins was doing well, currently out of state with Travis in Louisiana, visiting relatives there while he was working on the territory dispute.
But after Henry died, she was bedridden for three weeks.
Cade stayed with her for every minute of it, tending to whatever she needed until she was well enough to function again. It was incredibly hard for most lupines to get over the death of their mate, and many simply never did. The chances were better the older the lupine was, but for two newly joined wolves?
It was damned near impossible.
Turning around, Cade walked back inside with those thoughts in mind. As he shut the door, he looked up to see Ashley on the stairs.
“I'm being contested now?”
He grumbled, but nodded in confirmation while getting the feeling she was about to become even more upset than before.
This night simply couldn't get any worse.
Chapter 28
“How much of that did you hear?”
“Everything,” Ashley replied, “and I'm not sure I can blame her.”
William's death wasn't Ashley's fault directly, but she'd led the assholes responsible to Arkin City. So if Elizabeth felt as strongly about William as Ashley did Cade, then her upset was justified.
“She's wrong, Ashley,” Cade countered. “Beth's not contesting your initiation because she thinks you're drawing trouble, she's doing it for revenge. But none of this is your goddamned fault!”
“Even so, how can I fight for my place when I'm not sure I deserve it, Cade?”
Ashley saw his jaw clenching as if trying to find the right words. “You do deserve a place here, and there are people here who want you to stay. Do you think they're wrong?”
“Good point,” she admitted. Ashley wanted to at least think that people like Leo and Cade's siblings would stand up for her, which helped to ease her worries.
Still, during Cade's conversation with Christian and Elizabeth, she'd heard a few other questionable things she needed to address aside from what she'd come down for to begin with.
Stepping from the stairs, she started, “You told Elizabeth that if my place wasn't with this pack, yours wouldn't be either. Are you saying you'd give up Alpha if I was chased off?”
“Yes,” he answered without qualm. “Being the Alpha isn't as important to me as the well being of others, especially you.”
“But your family is here!” she argued. “I didn't ask you to fight for me!”
“You don't have to ask, and I'm not backing down. My family would understand, and be more pissed off if I didn't stand up for you, trust me.”
Ashley wasn't entirely convinced, but they could talk about her joining later. For now, she wanted to move on to other things. There's enough on my plate without adding this kind of mess to the order.
“Fine,” she allowed. “So now that we're talking, let me bring up the reason I came down here to begin with.”
Cade seemed to know what this was about, staying quiet to let her say whatever she needed.
Ashley parted her lips, ready to get it all out, but staring up at him, somehow everything she'd thought of flew out the window. All she could manage to do was exclaim, “You're a jackass, Cade!” So much for eloquence.
He groaned, his countenance solemn. “I know I am. What I said was uncalled for. I was irritated, but not with your point of view. Those words just slipped out.”
Well that was easy. Too easy. Ashley narrowed her brows, shaking her head. “Oh no you don't, I just laid in bed tossing and turning trying to think of what I needed to tell you, so you don't get to agree with me! I'm not done yet!”
Again, Cade nodded. “That's fair, I fucked up and disrespected you. So do whatever you need to.”
“No!” Ashley grated, unable to stand how he was just agreeing with her. “You're supposed to get mad and yell at me!”
Cade shrugged as if there was nothing for him to yell about, and Ashley couldn't hold onto her anger when he realized he'd been wrong.
But as it faded, dejection replaced it.
“What you said hurt, Cade,” she added solemnly. “I didn't ask for this life, and what you told me was hard to swallow, so I wanted time to think. But you made me feel inadequate.”
Ashley fought back a few tears, noticing Cade flinching as if the thought of hurting her caused him physical pain.
“I know, and that's my fault too,” he started, stepping over and taking her arms into his hands as if unable to stop himself. “I shouldn't have stayed quiet, but I never meant to make you feel that way.”
The need to forgive him ate at her. “Just promise me you won't ever say something like that again.”
“I promise, Ash, and I'm sorry. I regret what I said.”
He sounded so heartfelt that she accepted his apology with ease, whispering, “I forgive you. But, don't we need to talk about,” she trailed, realizing that she was still feeling shy despite herself.
Cade seemed to catch onto it, his lips curling ever so slightly. Grumbling, Ashley looked down and muttered, “Yeah, us, I
guess.”
“You're so damned cute.”
“Hush!” she grumbled.
The response made him chuckle as he turned, taking her hand to lead her to the couch. Ashley followed, sitting down hesitantly while Cade directed, “Just say what you need to. You know I won't judge you.”
She pursed her lips. That wasn't the problem. Just looking at him with the notion that he actually wanted her was. She couldn't hold his gaze because of it, peering down at her lap.
“Okay,” she started. “So how long do we have before we . . . you know, the marking?”
“It's different for everyone,” he supplied easily. “Could be days, or a month. Then again, it might not happen at all. But I've damned sure never felt this strongly about anyone before you.”
Ashley liked hearing that too much. Still, she asked, “But what happens afterward?”
She risked glancing up to see a curious look on his face. “Are you thinking I'd mark you regardless of the way you felt? Because you'll want it.”
“How do you know?”
“The urge comes at the same time,” he explained. “It doesn't hit just one but not the other. That's what bonding does, prepares us so when the time is right, we can tie ourselves together.”
She'd considered that earlier, but had to be sure whether or not her feelings were genuine instead of merely unadulterated lust.
Cade deserved more than that. So did she.
“It's still strange though,” she started. “You're used to the idea, but marking's like a marriage. I'm just not ready to be tied together for the rest of our lives.”
“That's why we're talking now,” Cade pointed out. “I can't make you accept it, but aren't your instincts telling you that you want this between us?”
“Maybe, Cade,” she answered, just as a part of her said stop lying. It was confusing, and she muttered, “I think I'm just too inexperienced to know how I feel yet. I've never wanted something like this, and it's confusing.”
Blue Moon Page 23
