How ironic, since he was supposed to be asleep for a good, long while.
“Better watch where you’re going!” Catron snapped when we almost collided. I was still staring at him in shock. He looked down. “Something amiss, Se-lu-na?”
I shook my head rapidly. “No, sir, not at all. Just glad to see you looking so well.”
“Is there any reason I shouldn’t be?” He narrowed his eyes.
Yes, because my spell should have worked. “Absolutely not, sir. Everything’s in perfect order.” Except the part where you should be knocked out.
I was screaming curses inside my head as the nurse locked me in the garret. I went around kicking every wall, including the one in front of the hidden staircase, though I knew it would hurt my foot. But I barely felt the pain as I paced the floor, gnashing my teeth and cursing some more.
Why didn’t it work? What did I do wrong? I knew most of the spells in the Book were difficult, and of course, I wasn’t a witch. But you didn’t have to be a witch to perform simple spells, and the one I’d used on Catron had to be the simplest in there.
The Event was only two or so days away. Clearly, Catron and the others were preparing for it; the feeling of alarm was palpable throughout the asylum. I had no way to get myself or anyone else out of here before it happened. I still had no idea who this goddess and creature were, or what havoc they might wreak at Silver Hill.
That meant I had no choice but to beg Dym for his help, one last, desperate time. The situation was truly dire now; I had to find a way to make him realize that. If Dym couldn’t do anything, then I didn’t know who could.
Chapter 11
It seemed even colder than usual when I ventured into the garden that night. I pulled my shawl around my neck, trying to keep the bitter wind from finding the exposed parts of my throat. It was almost like winter was clinging until the last possible moment, refusing to relinquish its icy grip. But there was more color in the vines than when I last visited, and they seemed suppler, too. Still, clouds covered the entire sky. It was as if the moon refused to come out.
The moon. When I was a little girl, I’d look up at the sky and wonder if I belonged there. I’d always felt out of place on Earth, as if I could float away at any moment. Sometimes, I’d look down at my feet and wonder what they were doing on the ground. I could’ve sworn that I was once able to fly. Not just wish for it, but actually remember what it felt like.
As the vines parted before me and I made my way towards the pond, I recited a poem aloud. I’d made it up a few years ago, when I looked at the night sky and put my hand over the moon so I could see only part of it.
* * *
“Half-moon seen
with my half eye,
drinking in a world
half truth, half lie.
Tell me now,
Eternal Spy:
Will I live by halves
until I die?”
* * *
“Not bad,” said a smooth, familiar voice. “Not bad by half. But I never finished the end of Keats for you:
* * *
‘We have imagined for the mighty dead;
All lovely tales that we have heard or read:
An endless fountain of immortal drink,
Pouring unto us from the heaven’s brink.’ ”
* * *
Dym was leaning one elbow on the edge of the pond. I wondered why he never just sat there like a normal person. It was as if he didn’t want to leave the water. Maybe he didn’t want me to see him without anything on, though he seemed more than willing the last time I was here. I wondered if he ever traversed the garden when I wasn’t there. I worked hard to push away the image of a beautiful, naked Dym wandering in the moonlight. I had more important things to think about this evening.
“Anyway, it’s quite a nice night for poetry, don’t you agree?” he asked.
It’s an even nicer night for saving my life.
“I suppose,” I answered. “But I’m afraid that’s not the reason I came.”
“Oh?” Dym raised a playful eyebrow and made circles in the water with his index finger. “Was it to see the one you cherish so much?”
I was in no mood for teasing. “No,” I said curtly. “It’s because things at Silver Hill are going downhill—fast.”
“Can’t say I’m surprised.” Dym continued making his lazy finger-circles in the water. How is he not freezing in these temperatures? His skin, smooth and gleaming as ever, didn’t even have goose bumps. “You should just run away,” he said. “That’s what I’d do.”
I gritted my teeth. “Yes, well, it’s rather difficult to do when you’re in the middle of nowhere in the middle of winter.” And it would also mean leaving behind all the other girls, not that you care.
Dym stopped moving his finger and raised his head to look at me. “I’m only thinking of your safety, Seluna. Trying to defeat Catron may not be possible.”
“I don’t think you’re as concerned with my safety as you should be. And if I don’t do something about Catron, who will?”
“As you wish.” Dym shrugged. “Have fun tilting at those windmills, kid.”
“It would be more ‘fun’ if you’d join me,” I retorted. My face was getting red, my fury increasing.
“Sorry, no can do.” Dym refused to meet my gaze. “Might interfere with my swimming.”
“Yes, well, don’t let my overwhelming troubles cut into your leisure time,” I snapped. “Did it ever occur to you how serious things are? If it did, you might not be in such a joking mood.”
Dym folded his arms, which pulled the muscles in his chest tauter. “Explain it to me.”
I took a deep breath. “More girls are getting shocked—and gods only know what else—by Catron and his demonic devices. More patients are disappearing from Silver Hill as well.”
“Disappearing? Disappearing how?” Dym asked. “To where?”
“That’s what I don’t know!” I wanted to fling my hands in the air, but one of them was holding a candle. “The Event, or whatever it is, gets closer every day. I still haven’t the foggiest notion of what it entails, or what to do about it. I tried using a sleep spell on Catron, but—”
“Really?” Dym interrupted. “A sleep spell? Where did you get that?”
“What do you mean?” I narrowed my eyes. “You practically suggested it to me.”
Dym nodded slowly. “Ah . . . so that’s what was on page one thirty-six.”
I couldn’t tell if he was pretending not to know the spell had been on that page all along. Right now, I didn’t care.
“Anyway,” I said, “it doesn’t matter. The spell didn’t work; I’ve no idea why. Which means Catron is still up and around, wreaking havoc and planning new tortures for us.”
“The sleep spell didn’t work?” Dym’s jaw grew slack. He seemed genuinely surprised. “Then the danger is greater for both of us,” he murmured.
“No joke!” I was practically yelling. The only reason I kept my voice down was that I didn’t want to alert anyone in the asylum to our presence. “Though I’d say the danger is decidedly greater for me. All you need to do is swim out of here.”
Dym swallowed hard. His expression was the closest thing to fear that I’d seen on him since we met. “You know I can’t do that, Seluna.”
“I know you won’t. I still don’t see why you can’t.” Dym opened his mouth to speak, but I put up my hand. “Right, right; it’s ‘hard to explain.’ But Dym, you really need to do something. I have nowhere else to go. I’m out of options, out of time!”
“I’m so sorry, Seluna. I wish I had more assistance to offer. But if it’s any consolation, I won’t leave you.”
“What do you mean, you won’t leave? You can’t just hang around here in the middle of the pond.” It wouldn’t do any good, anyway.
“If that’s what I must do, then that’s what I must do. All I know is I can’t leave you to face this by yourself.”
“But that’s exactly what you are d
oing! Not helping me, not even telling me why you won’t. Do you have any idea how all this looks?”
Dym’s shoulders sagged, and his entire body seemed like a deflated hot-air balloon. “Yes, I do,” he said quietly. “All I can say again is that I’m sorry, I wish things were different.” He looked up at me. “And I will not leave you.”
I wanted to throw myself into his arms, to beg him to help me. Or maybe I just wanted to be in his arms, for him to hold me the way I’d imagined. Either way, that would never happen. I was far too proud. Although, Seluna, if your life is at stake . . .
No. I doubted even that would change anything. It didn’t seem like begging was what Dym wanted. He was disinclined to offer aid no matter what I said or did. I hated him for not helping, hated myself for having to ask for help, and hated myself even more for wanting to be with him regardless.
“Fine, then.” I pursed my lips to keep the rage inside. “I guess this is the last time we’ll be seeing each other.” The childlike look of pain on Dym’s face was almost too much to bear.
There has to be something I’m missing, something he’s not telling me. But since I had no idea what it was, and no way of finding out, it was pointless to keep pleading with him. There was only one thing left to do if he insisted on staying here, or on coming back. It probably wouldn’t work, but I needed to try. I couldn’t risk Dym being harmed by this Event. I had to keep him safe, even if he refused to do the same for me.
I had to use the sleep spell on him. Maybe the second time would be the charm.
“It pains my heart to think of never seeing you again, Seluna,” Dym said softly. “It truly does.” His eyes ran all over me, as if trying to memorize my form, my face.
I literally had to bite my tongue to keep from making a sarcastic remark. I still needed something personal of Dym’s in order to work the spell. But what could I get? He didn’t even wear clothing—at least, not while he was swimming. Then it dawned on me.
“At least give me something to remember you by,” I said haughtily. “A lock of your hair, perhaps.”
“You want a piece of my hair?” He looked skeptically at my own, which was waist-length. “You seem to have quite enough as it is.”
“You are wasting the remaining time we have with these asinine comments.”
Dym put up his hands. “All right, all right. You wouldn’t happen to have a pair of scissors on you? Or a small knife, perhaps?”
“Are you kidding? They won’t let us carry so much as a pin at Silver Hill.”
“Figures there would be no sharps allowed. Can’t have you girls do any subversive pinning, I suppose.” Just as I was wondering how to get a lock of Dym’s hair, he ran a few strands back and forth against the jagged edge of a rock. In no time at all, the strands came off cleanly in his palms. He held the hair up to me, and I took it in my hand without my eyes ever leaving his.
Even wet, I was surprised at how light and soft Dym’s hair was. Makes me want to run my fingers through the rest of it. Then I remembered I was still mad at him.
“Well, then . . .” My voice trailed off. I knew I had to leave now. I couldn’t risk Dym realizing how I truly felt. Who knew if I would see him again? If I would even survive Catron? A last, desperate urge swept through my heart, and I wanted to kiss him good-bye.
It was almost as if Dym felt the same. He pressed his lips together and looked at mine.
“Seluna—” he started.
I cut him off before I could change my mind. “Good-bye, Endymion. I wish you luck. The way you treat your friends, I fear you’ll sorely need it.”
Dym swallowed hard and moved back from the edge of the pond. “Good-bye, Seluna. For once, I hope you’re wrong. I hope we do meet again.”
“I think that is about as likely as this garden turning into an Eden overnight.” I turned on my heel before he could see the hot tears coursing down my cheeks.
Chapter 12
I cursed myself as I walked back to the secret staircase, then continued cursing as I wound my way angrily back up to the garret.
What am I doing? Why am I being so stupid? Trying to save a creature who wouldn’t lift a finger for me. It was as if I was compelled by some strange, otherworldly force.
I really hope it isn’t love, I thought, shutting the big stone door as I returned to my room. I pulled the sheet over it and wiped my sleeve across my eyes. My throat hurt from trying to keep the tears inside. Because if this is love, then by all the gods, they can keep it.
But I still needed to deal with Catron. Since the sleep spell didn’t work, maybe I can take another look at that Drawing Down the Moon thing. I didn’t know why, but I felt like it might help. It couldn’t hurt, anyway, and it was my last shot. I got out the Book and sat cross-legged on my cot, holding a dwindling candle over the ancient pages.
On second thought . . . I propped the Book up on the windowsill and let the moonlight shine on it. Not only did this make it easier to read, but for some reason, it made me feel better, too. I began searching for Drawing Down the Moon. But before I reached it, I came across a section I didn’t remember seeing before.
Across two full pages was a picture of a young man gazing at the moon, which encircled a feminine face. The face on the moon was smiling. There was a great deal of text below the picture, written in neat, tiny script. Fortunately, it was in a recent Hartlandian dialect. But some of the text was faded and scratched out, so I had to begin reading several paragraphs after it started. What I uncovered was a most interesting story:
“The king and I were on a tour of the Westernland coast when our ship was caught in a bad storm. It was late at night, and we and the crew nearly drowned but for the quick thinking of a young woman and her male companion. They arrived suddenly, just as our ship was going under. Cramming all of us on board their tiny rowboat, they brought everyone safely to shore.”
The king and I? Unbelievable. Maybe the Book really did belong to a Hartlandian queen of old. I read on.
“The girl was quite striking. She had pale, pearly skin with long, thick black hair. Her lover was equally distinctive: a dark, powerfully built boy with bright green eyes. They were constantly smiling, gazing at each other. So clear and deep was their affection, it touched one’s heart to look at them.
“They were more than gracious, letting us take shelter in their seaside home. Even though they knew we were royalty, they did not act nervous or affected in any way, like so many subjects do. As we sipped hot drinks with blankets around our shoulders, I asked how long the pair had known each other.
“They laughed and said, ‘Forever!’ and ‘Since the dawn of time.’ I smiled and replied, ‘I know what you mean. Sometimes, it seems the king and I have been married for an age as well.’
“But the girl shook her head and smiled. ‘No, it’s true. You see, I am the goddess of the moon, and this is my consort. Because he is not a deity, we cannot stay in the same heaven when our bodies expire. The only way we can be together is to be reborn, over and over, and find each other on Earth. We only learned this recently—in these bodies, that is.’ She exchanged a knowing look with the boy. ‘I don’t know how soon we were able to find out in previous lives. But it appears we come down here with little prior knowledge of who we once were. We must reacquaint ourselves in every lifetime.’
“ ‘Hardly a disagreeable task.’ The boy brought his beloved’s hand to his lips and gave it a gentle kiss.
“I hesitated before responding. I wasn’t sure whether or not to believe them.”
How could the queen believe them? I thought. It sounds ridiculous. I bit my lip. Beautiful, but ridiculous.
“ ‘Well,’ I said slowly, ‘that certainly is a very lovely story.’
“ ‘But what happens,’ asked the king, ‘if you don’t find each other in your lifetime? Or something happens to one of you before you do?’
“The girl’s face fell. ‘According to what we’ve learned, that is indeed a possibility. Sometimes, we do not find one another
, and must wander the earth alone.’
“ ‘And then there are forces that may conspire to keep us apart,’ said the boy. But he did not elaborate on what they were.
“ ‘There is also the chance we will fall in love with someone else,’ added the girl, ‘or not believe the legend from which our love is sprung.’
“ ‘But that is not the case this time.’ The boy wrapped the girl in his arms, and looked on her face with complete adoration. ‘Now that I’ve found you, I will let nothing come between us. You are my sea-treasure, and I will fight to the last to hold onto you.’ He kissed her passionately. My husband smiled at me and put his hand on mine.
“Although we had to return to the royal palace shortly afterward, I never forgot that night. And I never forgot the legend of the moon goddess and her infinite consort.”
There was a lump in my throat when I finished reading. It’s not fair, I thought. I mean, it’s not like I’m sitting around in a tower expecting to be rescued. Not exactly. But it would be nice to know that kind of love. Someone who would do anything for you. Why can’t Dym be more like that boy in the Book? Sometimes, I thought all girls had to be masochists to give their hearts to those so undeserving.
I looked out the window. The moon was high in the sky; the night was half-over. I should get some sleep if I didn’t want my daytime drowsiness to be worse than usual. But there was still the sleep enchantment to perform on Dym; I’d have to look at Drawing Down the Moon again tomorrow. I still half-remembered it . . . circle, wand, chakras, goddess . . .
Taking Dym’s hair out of my pocket, I moved the candle over it rhythmically back and forth while chanting. Dym. Dim. I recalled how I’d associated his name with stupidity when we first met. As I thought of how angry I was with him, it took all I had not to say “stupid” in place of his name. Still, I hoped the spell didn’t take effect while he was on one of his midnight swims. It would be tragic if Dym drowned because I was trying to save him. But I didn’t really have an alternative.
Myths & Magic: A Science Fiction and Fantasy Collection Page 142
