The Spring I Met You

by Tanya Mindo

  The Spring I Met You

  A Novel

  Tanya Mindo

  Copyright © 2020 Tanya Mindo

  All rights reserved

  The characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. No part of this book may be reproduced, or stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without express written permission of the publisher.

  Cover design by Trisha Mindo

  Printed in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada

  Contents

  Title Page

  Copyright

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  About The Author

  Books By This Author

  Chapter One

  “Send us messages, alright?” Zoe’s Mama reiterates, her voice cracking, then she forces a smile in a futile attempt to stop herself from crying. The dark circles under her Mama's eyes show, with wrinkles appearing as if she has aged in just one night.

  Zoe nods timidly.

  Meanwhile, her father drives quietly, his lips pressed into a thin line. The worry in his face is evident as he repeatedly rubs his chin. He throws glances at the rearview mirror from time to time, and Zoe’s stomach churns in guilt whenever their eyes meet.

  It is 7 in the morning. Zoe’s flight will leave at 8:30 AM. Seth couldn’t take her to the airport because he and Elle have classes for the day, and she didn’t want them to miss it. The three of them have always been grade-conscious, and it is probably why they became close friends.

  I miss them already.

  They only shared a short video call before she left the house. Zoe noticed the strain in Seth’s voice. Up until the last minute, he didn’t sound genuinely happy for her.

  The last few months felt like work—like there was something bad going on between them, but neither dared to talk about it. Zoe feared that any kind of acknowledgement would turn whatever ‘it’ was into a ‘problem’. She believed that it would pass, that if they pretended to be okay, then they would be okay.

  It seems to her that she was wrong.

  She and Elle cried as they exchanged their goodbyes. They have been best friends since first year in university, and they have always taken the same subjects and the same professors. It is the first time that they will be without each other since then.

  Zoe inevitably harbors guilt for leaving Elle alone, but it is Elle who has supported her decision from the very start. She is the only one who understood, saying that she would never speak to Zoe again if she doesn’t go. While Zoe knows that she doesn’t mean it, Elle’s tenacity is too strong, even stronger than hers, that Zoe can’t dare stay.

  Inside the car, Zoe’s fingers tremble. She clenches her fists, tries to be more composed, but her insides say otherwise. She is nauseous. She gulps as her gaze meets her father’s. In her head, she battles against fear of uncertainty. She fought long and hard for this, and until that very moment, she is fighting.

  Any sign of weakness will give room for her parents to attack, and she can’t let that happen.

  “Yes, Ma. I’ll send you a message as soon as I land at Haneda Airport.”

  She sees her Ma press her lips against each other, forming the wrinkles close to her mouth.

  They arrive at the unloading zone around 7:15 AM. Her Pa carries her suitcase out of the compartment as she slides her arms into her brown, Herschel backpack.

  “Are you sure you have your passport with you?” Ma’s voice is still croaky.

  “Yes, Ma,” she says, patting the pocket of her backpack where she keeps her passport together with her ticket. Ma’s eyes become teary.

  “Don’t forget to call us.”

  Zoe heaves a sigh. “Ma, please don’t cry. I’ll be fine. I’m a big girl now.”

  Mama pulls Zoe in an embrace, and Zoe smells her apricot shampoo. She kisses the top of Zoe’s head, although she is only a few inches taller.

  “My baby’s all grown up.”

  Zoe’s body feels weak. Ma has always been stricter than Pa, but Zoe knows that it is because of love. She understands that much.

  Pa comes closer and then he hugs Zoe as well. He whispers in her hair, “Be careful, Zoe.”

  She pulls away from both of them and holds onto her suitcase.

  “After this, you’re entering law school,” Pa declares, his eyes steely. Not hostile, but firm. Zoe’s shoulders stiffen, then she looks away.

  “I gotta go. Take care of yourselves. Go on a vacation. Visit our relatives.” And then her voice finally cracks. “I’ll be okay.”

  Zoe attempts to appear strong so they’ll worry less, but she can’t conceal how afraid and tensed she is, especially that she is only a few steps away from the airport door. For her it is like the entrance to a place where she’ll be alone without the people she loves.

  But I wanted this. I chose this.

  Her fingers quiver. It doesn’t help that Ma starts to cry. Pa takes her hand to comfort her.

  Zoe hates seeing her like that.

  “I’m sorry.”

  Ma shakes her head vehemently. “I might never be able to understand what you want to see out there, but I’ll always be here for you.”

  Ma speaks the right words, but her eyes say otherwise. They don’t approve of her decision. They don’t understand why she’s leaving.

  Zoe knows that it is because she became greedy—and she acted on it. She allowed the desire to take root, then she nourished and watered it every day instead of cutting it like a weed.

  She started to want to become something else. To be something more. And staying wouldn’t make that happen.

  “Bye.”

  She drags her suitcase as she waves goodbye, their faces becoming blurry with every step.

  With a last glimpse, she sees Ma bury her face on Pa’s chest. Her chest tightens, making it harder to breathe.

  Keep walking.

  Even though Zoe’s eyes brim with tears, she stares forward.

  Keep walking, Zoe.

  It was a rainy evening on the 10th of December when Zoe’s life began to change.

  She jolted awake, face down on the pillow, a few strands of hair stuck between her teeth. With eyes half-opened, she slowly turned to her left side and gazed downwards on the carpeted floor. Her vision remained a little fuzzy, yet the crumbs of chips didn’t escape her notice. Her room needed to be vacuumed.

  Her head throbbed. She tucked her hair behind her right ear, then she stretched her arms and legs. The pink, rose-patterned blanket fell to the floor, making a soft thud sound. A couple of minutes later, she pulled herself up.

  Her eyes flicked to the purple square wall clock whose hands glowed despite the darkness. She overslept. Guilt immediately crept into her core as she recalled the 500 words lacking on her final paper for the semester. With a sigh, she glanced outside the glass window. Fine raindrops landed on the window sill. The thick, dark clouds releasing them concealed the moon and the stars. An urge to go back to bed came quickly, but the guilt became stronger. She rubbed her eyes to awaken her senses.

  She bent
to her left to grab the blanket from the ground. She folded it and then placed it neatly above the square pillow. Next, she checked her phone for messages. She squinted to adjust to the light. There were none. Seth said that he was going to play basketball with his friends at the local gym.

  I guess the game is still ongoing.

  She turned the wi-fi connection on.

  The phone vibrated—it received a notification from Gmail. Her heart skipped a beat as she laid her eyes on the sender’s email address. Chills ran down her spine, goosebumps appearing on her skin.

  The message was from the University of Tokyo. At last, they had sent the email she had been waiting for. The result of the exchange program application finally arrived.

  Swallowing the lump in her throat, her grip on the phone tightened. Her eyes stayed fixed on the screen which had turned black due to inactivity.

  She quickly glimpsed at the door, carrying a tiny wish for Ma to barge in so she could open the email instead. The tingling sensation in her stomach was making her weak, like her strength had been completely drained out of her body.

  But nobody came. The door remained closed. She drew a deep breath.

  I can do this alone. There’s nothing to be afraid of.

  Over and over, she told herself. A light knock on the door snapped Zoe out of her daze.

  “Dinner’s ready,” Ma said.

  She couldn’t respond. Her gaze was still on the dark screen.

  “Zoe? Are you up?”

  The bedroom door swung open. Ma stood next to it with a frown.

  Without looking up, she gathered strength and reluctantly pressed the correct icon to open the email. She gulped incessantly as she read the message, pausing several times as her eyes laid on some parts of the message: Congratulations... Thank you for applying... Here are the remaining requirements... We hope to see you soon.

  A few seconds later, she looked back to Ma who was still standing on the same spot, her arms folded.

  “Is something wrong?”

  Zoe’s lips broke into a smile. The tingling sensation transformed and gave her inexplicable, mixed feelings. Uncertainty. Shock. Fear.

  But most importantly, hope.

  Her heart was suddenly filled with anticipation—something she hadn’t felt in a long time.

  “No, Ma. Everything’s perfect,” she replied, almost squealing.

  Ma tilted her head in confusion before walking away. The door was left half-opened, an invitation for her to come out for dinner. She hurriedly turned on her bedroom lamp, grabbed her journal and pen from the drawer next to the bed, and sat on the chair in front of the wooden study desk.

  Zoe scribbled her thoughts on a blank page as she held herself back from screaming. Her fingers trembled. Her penmanship became less legible, yet she needed to vent out the overflowing feelings in her heart.

  I am going to Japan, the land of the rising sun.

  She had heard a lot of good things about Japan: their strong sense of discipline and respect, the richness of their cuisine and culture, and their affluence. Naturally, she was aware of its dark side especially the stories of its colonial history. Their homogeneity that might result in xenophobia, and possibly, racism, were also things she had mulled over. Her main concern, however, was the language barrier, which she had no idea how to overcome.

  But these did not terrify her at all. In fact, they made her yearn for it. Japan seemed so familiar because of its influential culture and cuisine and the fact that it is in Asia. However, it also sounded so foreign because being part of the same continent may not mean anything at all. The Philippines has long adapted Western culture. There seemed to be no similarities between her country and Japan.

  Despite this, it thrilled her to know that Japan was within her reach. That she could be far away from home.

  At last, she felt alive.

  “I will miss you,” Seth murmured, lowering his gaze to the circular glass table that separated the two of them. She squeezed his right hand and gave him a reassuring smile.

  “It’s just one semester. I’ll be back before you know it.”

  They met at their favorite cafe which offered cheap coffee, milk tea, and desserts. Although small and a bit unpopular, they found it pleasant due to its quietness, as if they were the only people in the room. They had been hanging out there often because Zoe couldn’t stay out late, and it was near her place.

  Zoe was already seated at the corner when Seth arrived late that day. He had just showered after a basketball game, so when he drove straight to the cafe, his short wavy hair was tangled and wet. It made him look fresh and even more attractive.

  Even though they had been seeing each other for a while, Zoe still admired his looks. Seth was tall at 6 feet, and his legs and arms were toned as deliberate evidence of his sport. There were times when she noticed other girls fantasize over him. She saw the way their eyes follow his every move with admiration and bitterness at the same time, for they know that he was unreachable. He was someone who only existed as a recipient of affection but not someone who could be theirs.

  She knew because she still looked at him that way. Only because they were casually dating. He never said anything about them being ‘official’. But that didn’t matter. Zoe was happy to have him by her side.

  At first, Seth sounded thrilled when she told him about her acceptance at the University of Tokyo. The excitement immediately faded away when he realized that she wouldn’t be enrolling for the next semester. That also meant that he was graduating ahead.

  Besides, Seth couldn’t do anything about her exchange program because it was something that she decided on her own. That frustrated him the most. She applied for the University-wide Student Exchange Program (USTEP) at the University of Tokyo during their sophomore year, a few months before they started seeing each other. He cheered her on then because he believed it was just a plan—a plan that wouldn’t push through.

  He knew Zoe. He knew that she would have given up on it right away. She had always stayed exactly where she was. In her comfort zone.

  Their eyes met again as he finally raised his chin, and she immediately read what Seth wanted to say: What happened now?

  Seth wasn’t exactly wrong. It wasn’t like Zoe to desire independence, but it was something she believed she needed at the moment. Both her parents tried to coax her out of it but failed. For the first time in her 20 years of existence, she stood her ground.

  It wasn’t about Seth. He’d always been good to her. She knew that when people asked him if they were together, he answered that they were not, but it was only because he refused to be bound by other people’s opinions. He told Zoe that the more people knew, the more they would meddle with their relationship. Other than that, he’d always been faithful. And yes, she would miss him, but what she wanted then had nothing to do with Seth.

  It wasn’t about her family as well. Her parents were great. As their only child, they had taken good care of her, and they had given her everything she could ever want. Clothes? Done. Shoes? Done. But some things that matter like freedom? Not really. Perhaps it was because Ma lost her older brother to miscarriage that they became stricter than average.

  Zoe didn’t hold it against them, but she became tired of it.

  When she was little, they ingrained in her mind that she was going to medical school. Zoe liked the idea of it. Who wouldn’t want to become someone who could change and save lives? It sounded like a noble profession, and when people heard her speak about going to the medical field, they looked at her with respect. Naturally, she didn’t dislike the attention.

  It followed that before high school graduation, her parents processed her documents for college applications. She didn’t care then. She was like water which only flowed according to the shape of the vessel. Her parents thought she wouldn't fail her first choice which was Biology, so they settled for Political Science as her second choice. The latter was her father’s pre-law course. It was, at least, familiar.

  Bu
t she failed—for them, at least. She passed the University of the Philippines College Admission Test as a Political Science major. She didn’t make the cut for Biology.

  That morning, Zoe was glued to her chair, stunned and confused. She read the result repeatedly. Nothing changed.

  UP was the most prestigious university in the country, and every student who passed might have been crying with tears of joy, but not her. Her tears ran down her cheeks out of fear and shock.

  What happened? That wasn’t how it was supposed to be. It wasn’t according to plan. The vessel broke, and she spilled to the ground with no certain direction.

  Her parents knocked on the door while calling her name. And for the first time, her name sounded so painful. Their voices revealed how excited they were, how certain that she got in.