Bella: The Ending: A Sagatori Family Saga

by Kimberly Soto

  Ivan waved at the man who held Chase. “Nadia,” he laughed. “What do you think you’re doing?”

  “Leave them alone!” rivulets of sweat beaded on my head as I labored to breathe.

  “Drop that weapon or I’ll kill them and your sweet Jax.”

  My eyes glanced over the room, while my grip remained firm.

  He laughed, “Nadia, you don’t know how to use that; you’re just a woman, remember? Isn’t that what these men have always told you?” He gestured toward Chase and Tony.

  My hands trembled around the weapon as he mocked me.

  “How many bullets are in there? Four, five? You could kill me, but not before these two kill your two love-sick puppies. They’ll die before you get the first shot through my skull. It’s almost too easy.”

  “Just a woman?”

  “Bella,” Chase’s face drew with eager concern, “walk away from this.”

  Ivan dropped his stare, “Does she know?”

  Chase’s jaw flexed.

  Sweat dripped into my eyes causing everything to blur. “Know what?” I waved the gun as both rage and fear consumed me.

  “Walk away, Bella.” Chase’s eyes softened as he turned his attention back to me. “We aren’t worth it.”

  Ivan lifted his arms and looked at his men. “You see, Nadia, this is a terrible idea.”

  Ivan was brutal with no one to answer to, leaving him capable of anything. I knew then more than ever before that he was capable of everything I feared; he could ruin everything and everyone I loved.

  I shook, terrified as I pointed the gun at him. “Let them go!”

  “I’m not letting anyone go, but let’s say that I did. Where would they go? My guards would kill them before they walked through the door.” He paused as he stepped away from Chase and moved toward me.

  “Stop!” I took a deep breath. “Don’t come any closer!” I gasped.

  “You don’t know what you’re doing. These men aren’t worth it.”

  “Yes they are, let them go,” I demanded again.

  Ivan stepped in front me closing the distance as he reached for the gun. I stepped back unsure if my action of shooting him would be a death sentence for Jax, Tony, and Chase. The only thing I knew for certain was that I needed to know where Jax was before I killed him. “Bring my husband to me.”

  “I can’t,”

  “Why?”

  “He’s already dead, Nadia. I didn’t want you to learn it this way of course.”

  “What… why?”

  “A few guards and their notable disobedience cost him his life.” he shrugged.

  I blinked the sweat from my eyes and without another thought squeezed the trigger, only hearing a loud pop ring as I was thrown back.

  “Bella!” Chase screamed.

  I squeezed the trigger again and again and again and again. Ivan watched with horror through the darkness of his eyes. His admittance that my husband was dead was all I needed to end everything. He fell against the desk grasping the edge as his face filled with alarm. “Kill them!” His face fell as his bent body slid from the desk and thudded to the floor.

  I watched with my own horror as he gasped for breath. “Touch them and you’ll be next.” I spoke to his men as I stepped around Ivan toward Chase, helping him up with my free hand.

  Chase leaned on the desk and reached for the gun.

  I hesitantly let it go as fear crippled me. “I just wanted him to stop!” I cried,

  “It’s okay, it’s okay!”

  I dropped my eyes seeing Ivan’s dark red blood splattered all over my body.

  The last thing I remembered was falling into Chase’s arms as pain crippled me worse than the fear had moments before. I struggled to breathe as it ravished me.

  “Bella? Bella…”

  I wanted to answer him, but the words were trapped as adrenalin pumped harder and faster.

  I focused on the figures in the room as my eyes burned and the pain in my stomach became intolerable.

  Please let my baby be okay! I begged God, but the pain wasn’t normal and I knew that something was wrong.

  I clutched Chase’s arm as he spoke to someone in the room. His voice lifted and a shiver ran down my arms as I heard him beg for help.

  The color of his voice as his words floated inside my head was red, the color of blood… and as they washed over me it became oddly comforting.

  Helena entered unannounced to me, “Is he dead?” She asked.

  I craned my neck from Chases hold to see what I’d done. I deserved to see it. I didn’t feel remorseful, in fact, I’d do it again, without a thought.

  “Are you okay?” Chase pressed a hand to my head, dropping me to his chest.

  “The pain… the baby.”

  I lifted my eyes seeing Helena had approached, “Take her to my suite and call the doctor.” Her voice was even and calm.

  I scattered my hands along his arms, “Is he dead? Did I kill him?”

  I felt the rise and fall of my chest as he answered, “No,” dipping his eyes to mine.

  I lifted again, needing to see for myself, unable to imagine he’d survived. “Ahh,” another pain stole my attention. I breathed through it until finally, it passed.

  “My dear daughter, you are going to be fine.” She pressed her ice-cold hand to mine. “Careful with her.”

  I panicked, I didn’t know her or her intentions.

  ***

  “How are you feeling?” Chase circled fingers on my temple.

  Unaware of where I was I scattered my hands finding an IV that penetrated my right arm. ‘What is this?” I whispered, immediately reaching for my belly.

  “You went into preterm labor, this stopped the contractions.” He gestured to a bag of fluid.

  “Is the baby okay?”

  Chase smiled, “Yeah, he’s good.”

  “And Jax?” I didn’t want to hear him tell me that Ivan had been right—that he was dead. “Wait!” I lifted a hand, “If he’s not okay… I don’t think I can handle it.” I said in defeat.

  “He’s okay, just in the other room right now. I told him I’d check on you.”

  “Really? Oh my God, I thought he was gone.”

  He sighed, “This is no good for you Bella…none of it. I can give you...”

  Chase quieted as Jax opened the door. “Baby,” he looked so tired and stressed. Dark shadows cast around his eyes. He seemed thinner than the last time I’d seen him and his walk didn’t have its normal confident swag. “You have no idea how much I’ve missed you!” He drew a slow breath as he took my cheeks into his palms. “I thought at times… that I’d never see you again.”

  “I never lost hope,” a tear slid down my cheek as his lips pressed to mine with starvation.

  “I’ll be just outside.” I heard Chase say before he left the room.

  I was so excited to see my husband that I’d forgotten Chase was in the room. “Are you okay?”

  “I am so happy that you’re okay.” He sat on the bed, “I thought I’d never see you again, that I’d lost you forever.”

  “No!” I whispered, “You will never lose me,”

  He leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to my lips. “I want you to know that I’m sorry for the lies. I never wanted to keep this from you, I just… I had no choice. I hope one day you forgive me.”

  “What did he really want from me?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “He said he was my father, but he treated me like I was a prisoner and told me that I was a princess.” I dropped my eyes to my tummy, “I just don’t understand what he planned to gain from it all.”

  “Yeah, I think he loves you in his own way but doesn’t how to show it. He’s a powerful man with many enemies and demons. Hard to be normal when you live the kind of sadistic life he does.”

  “Was he lying when he said I was a princess?”

  “No, that’s true.” Something in his eyes darkened.

  “What aren’t you telling me?”

&
nbsp; “You are royal blood, yes that is true, but the reasons that you were taken…” he paused and looked down to our in twine hands. “Your mother, Helena.”

  “Yes?”

  “She’s the one that sent you away.”

  “Why would she do that? She just gave me away?”

  “No,” he stood from the bed hesitant to say more.

  “Jax, please, what are you talking about?”

  “She saved you. He’s twisted and psychotic. He keeps her under his thumb and… she didn’t want you to grow up in that life. She knew your adoptive mother and the rest is history.”

  “That’s why she was so quick to send me home, to help us.” It finally made sense.

  “She loved you enough to save you despite the pain it caused her.”

  “Have you know this?”

  “Yes,”

  I nodded.

  “I know it wasn’t right to keep it from you, but I did have good reasons, I want you to understand that and forgive me.”

  I chewed on my lip, “I don’t understand any of it, but I do forgive you.”

  “For now I’ll take it.”

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  —Bella—

  Chicago- Two weeks later

  Once upon a time there was a sweet, innocent girl… inside my head. Life was simple, life was good, and then that girl was broken. Every facet of every thought… the innocent ones, destroyed by unforgivable lies.

  I trembled, he was there, in the room on the other side of the door. I wanted to knock it down. Break the wood from its hinges, but I couldn’t.

  We’d been in Chicago for two weeks, and I’d spent most of my time either at the doctor’s office or with Jax. He struggled with a horrific reality that followed him from Russia. He’d been put into a terrible situation one that I desperately wanted to fix, but out of everything that had happened I thanked God that he was alive and our baby was okay. I’d had contractions while I was in Russia, but a little magnesium had stopped them. I was luckier than most, my doctor said. Ennio wouldn’t have survived outside of my womb and I thanked God that he was okay.

  I smiled and rubbed circles on my large belly as the thought of my blessings swelled in my heart. But there was undeniable sadness that also resided there. I wanted to fold Jax into my arms and make all of his pain go away, but he wouldn’t allow me to and this saddened me so much.

  I let out a breath “Jax, please don’t shut me out, I love you!” I hoped he could hear me because I knew what he was doing.

  My tears were warm as they fell down my cheeks. I wanted to help him, make him see he could beat this. And I had to admit, I was angry at him because all I wanted was for him to beat it.

  A strong, warm hand covered the flesh of my arm as I sobbed against Jax’s office door. “You okay?” Chase asked.

  I lifted my chin and blinked my wet lashes open. I wasn’t okay. I’d never be okay. Things were only getting worse, and I couldn’t see anything good happening in the near future.

  I shook my head confirming what he already knew.

  His eyes closed briefly before pulling me into his chest. “I don’t know what to do, Bella,” he confessed.

  “Is he going to die.” I held his jacket in my tightly clenched fists and sank my face into his chest.

  “No, he’s gonna be okay; I promise. I’m not gonna let anything happen to him.” He couldn’t promise anything, but I was happy that he’d tried.

  I leaned away to face him. “He’s in there now, getting a fix… right now! Save him, save him—now! Please!” I begged, my cries echoing throughout the penthouse. Everyone could hear me, and yet no one did anything to stop him. I hated them for it.

  His eyes penetrated my own. I knew he was hurting just as much as I was. He’d watched his brother kill himself every time he put those drugs inside of his body since we’d been home from Russia.

  Ivan had drugged Jax repeatedly causing his body to crave the heroin every day. I knew that none of what was happening was his fault, and I wanted desperately to help him, but he wouldn’t let me.

  He released a slow breath. “How can we help him… he doesn’t want it. I know this is bad, I see this shit getting worse every day, but I have no control, Bella.”

  The truth… he was right. I was losing the love of my life to a drug we had no control over, and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do to stop it. None of us had control.

  I knew he couldn’t, but begged anyway. “Stop him… when he goes to score more drugs… stop him.”

  Chase’s thoughts were focused before he rubbed his hand over his jaw. “And cause withdraw?”

  “Rehab! We have money, why can’t we make him go?”

  “He has to want it, Bella. Damnit! Don’t you think I’ve thought of this shit! I have, I’ve thought of everything; called everywhere, talked to everyone. They all say the same thing. He has to want to get better. Fuck!”

  “I’m his wife, surely I have some control.”

  “What control?” He closed his eyes tight for a moment before he cupped my jaw into his palm. “I’m sorry you have to go through this. But I’m always here for you.”

  “Me too.” Tony approached. “He’s good, Bella, just gotta get past this shit, but he will.” Tony and Chase gave each other a knowing glance.

  Their intentions were coming from a good place. They wanted to comfort me, but I didn’t need their comfort. I needed my husband’s comfort. I needed him to hold me and tell me everything was going to be good again. And as much as I loved them, they weren’t going to bring me peace.

  “He could be in there overdosing. How would we know?” The thought of Jax laying in his own vomit, overdosing, was just more than I could take. “Knock it down.” I wiped the wet tears from my face. “Do it now,” I said matter-of-factly.

  Chase and Tony both turned to one another, doubt swimming in their expressions.

  “I mean”—Tony shrugged—“she’s right, fuck it if he’s pissed. What happens if he dies?”

  Chase agreed, “Yeah.”

  Fast falling footsteps clicked against the hardwoods. “Wait! Use the key,” Alessandra offered as she quickly approached.

  “You have a key?”

  She gave an incredulous look as all three of us stepped back, allowing her little frame to approach the door.

  “Bella, honestly, you need to sit down. This isn’t something you need to deal with in your condition. Take her,” she ordered Tony.

  “No! I’m pregnant. I don't have a chronic illness, and I’m not a fragile child, Alessandra! He’s my husband. I’m not leaving him!” I spoke loud, probably even yelled a bit as I wanted to be very clear I had no intention of leaving.

  She paused and blew a harsh breath just before slipping the silver key inside the door. “I won’t open it unless you go. You do not need to see this,” she deadpanned.

  I stared her down, but she didn’t budge. “Damn it!”

  She didn’t offer an apology as I shifted my feet in the other direction. I knew why she did it, but I was still angry. I agreed to walk away because at the end of the day Jax was all that mattered.

  —Jax—

  Pieces of what used to be were the only things left as what had happened marked me with a hot branding iron. The iron of choice—my wife and son. Before Ivan shot me up with heroin our lives were good, damn good; until he took that away. I had everything I’d ever wanted and everything I didn’t know I did. Looking back there was a lot of shit I could’ve done differently. Should’ve done differently.

  I couldn’t let this beat me, but it would because of the pain...

  Pain, fuckin’ horrible pain, that was breaking me.

  Shaking so bad I couldn't stand on my own feet.

  Relentless vomiting, nothin’ would stay down.

  Sweating uncontrollably.

  The worst of them all? The anger that was literally eating me alive. I was angry I wasn't strong enough. Angry that she thought she was strong enough. I was angry that she thought
this was a walk in the fuckin’ park.

  It wasn't.

  It was hell.

  My hell, every fuckin’ day.

  I was angry I needed the drug and furious that I wanted it. I craved its relief to wash through my veins, make me feel good. It did… make me feel good, make me whole again, and I knew when I pushed this needle inside my arm that I would be okay again.

  Someone was on the other side of the door, knockin’. I had no intentions of answering it, but I knew it was Bella; I heard her crying. I’d die before I let her see me like this.

  “Jax?” Her cries came as I bit the tourniquet and held it with my free hand tying off my arm.

  I closed my eyes and pushed the plunger, filling my vein with heroin. Instantly, the drug affected me. I felt it in my throat, I felt it everywhere. It was nothin’ I could explain. It was just amazing.

  “Jax, please.” Her cries cut me into pieces before I fell against the wall. I dreamed of holding her again and wondered if she’d forgive me one day. But I knew this… was unforgivable.

  “Please, don’t shut me out. I love you!” Her fists banged on the door as her screaming cries echoed in my ears before I eventually lost them as the drug took over. I knew what the words were… what she wanted… needed, but I couldn't do it... give her what she needed.

  I didn’t want to feel what I felt when she looked at me with sympathy in her eyes and pain in her kiss.

  She couldn’t fix me.

  No one could fix this shit.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  —Bella—

  I hadn’t chewed on my nails for a long time. I hadn’t realized I’d started again until Sal smacked my hand. He’d approached where I sat in the great room. I half smiled, remembering him doing that when I was younger, when life was… less stressful, happier. When Papa would’ve made all of this better.

  “Well?” I asked.

  Sal stood motioning me to move over so that he could sit next to me. “He’s sick.” He draped his arm over my shoulders and pulled me into his side. “He needs help, and he can’t get that here.”

  Tears flooded my already soaked face. “I know.” I did know. I’d been begging for help.