Fake It

by Jennifer Chance

  Secretly, selfishly, Jake was glad that she’d misplaced the thing. It meant that he could see her again, and as stupid of an idea as that was, it made him feel good.

  He was way too keyed up to sleep, though, and he looked around the brownstone’s kitchen. The place was spotless. Other than cleaning out his grandmother’s bedroom, he really had nothing else to do but contact the realtor. He looked up as if he could see through the various floors into Gran’s tiny bedroom at the very top of the house. He’d been putting this off too long, but there was no time like the present, especially if the herd of them were going to descend on him at the end of the week. Besides, it wasn’t like he was going to sleep. He grabbed the tape and the flattened boxes that had been sitting there for weeks, just waiting for him to start this project, and moved upstairs.

  He flipped the light on and entered his grandmother’s rose-pink sanctuary. The entire room was stuffed full of knickknacks, pictures, scraps of cloth from some long-ago dress, costume jewelry, the works. His grandmother, with the benefit of distance and fading memory, had asked for only a few items to be saved. The rest could be given away or dumped. She hadn’t mentioned the pictures, but there was no way Jake wasn’t bringing those home. His own mother would want them, or would at least know who they were, if his grandmother could no longer identify the fading images.

  Setting to work, he first tried to find the items his grandmother had wanted, but the pictures caught him up short. He found himself looking at each one, then wrapping it in newsprint and boxing it up, decades of memories caught in cheap black-and-silver frames. He saw pictures of his mother as a little girl, and then the family all through the years, through marriage and a sprawling house full of kids. He spent a long time staring at a picture of himself with his dad, when he was maybe only seven years old. His dad was beaming down at him, both of them proudly holding up just-caught fish. He’d already lost five years with the old man. How many more was he willing to lose?

  He cleared away kids’ art and papers, newspaper clippings, and a virtual mountain of cards. And through it all, his mind kept straying to Anna. She was an only child, and then her father had passed away and she and her mother had braved it all alone. Her mother had formed another family and had a baby, but what about Anna? All she had was her work. Work was her family, her one true constant. Was it any wonder that she couldn’t let it go?

  But … Jake couldn’t let her go, either. It hadn’t just been the fantasy of the weekend. Anna made him feel … solid. Certain. Like, no matter how intense his emotions, no matter how big, he could let them out with her and it would be okay. And weirdly enough, just having her around seemed to take the edge of desperation off those feelings. Like he could let them be as big as they needed to be, and it would still be all right. He couldn’t understand it all, but he did know this: he didn’t want to let her go. The weekend had been more than fun for him, it had been the start of something, the start of something maybe really good. Something that didn’t deserve to end so quickly, at any rate, just because one little roadblock had been thrown up. So what if Anna worked a lot? He could roll with that. They had the whole summer to figure it out, right? The woman couldn’t work all the time.

  And he did have something to offer her, too. Something she wouldn’t be expecting. Something that he’d never fully understood the value of, maybe, until right this second.

  He pulled out his phone and checked the time. Two A.M. Too late to call home.

  He sent a text off to his mom anyway, not knowing if it was the right thing to do.

  Chapter 26

  Anna pulled her car into her customary spot behind the brownstones, bone tired. It was Thursday night already, and her mom and dad and baby half sister were due in tomorrow, but not until noon, thank God. She felt like she hadn’t slept in weeks. She’d burned the midnight oil every night this week, only to roll back in to work the next morning—albeit at later and later times. Her friends had helped, of course. Lacey had called every day, Erin had served as her personal assistant to get her clothes dry-cleaned and all of her papers in order, and Dani—well, Dani had just made her laugh. And Anna had needed laughter, especially after that first night, when she realized Jake was home, but that he hadn’t reached out to her, hadn’t tried to call or stop by the brownstone. Certainly hadn’t waited up for her, although that was possibly not his fault, given how late her hours had been. Monday night she’d barely dragged herself home until around four A.M. She couldn’t expect him to stay up the whole night through.

  Tonight, though, despite the fact that it was well after midnight, Jake’s garage door was up, the interior light spilling out over the driveway. She frowned down at her suit. It wasn’t one of her best—and it was pants, not one of the forties-style skirts and fitted tops he’d said he liked so well. But she’d given up on seeing him, and now it was too late, anyway. She had plans, she had a life. She had to go on living it.

  Sighing, she got out of her car and pulled out the box of her office stuff she didn’t want to leave unattended for the next few months. Not a plant, of course. She traveled too much to keep anything actually living at the office. But a picture of Erin, Dani, Lacey, and her together at the harbor, a few favorite pens and notepads. And of course, the ubiquitous client files that they still all carried around despite all the new technology. The box wasn’t big or heavy, but she held it in front of her like a shield as she stalked up the back alley, willing herself to not look to the side, to not peek over to see if—

  “Hey.”

  “Aigh!” Anna jolted, her cardboard box flying out of her hands and hitting Jake square in the chest. His “oof” made her slap her own hands to her mouth, before she scrambled forward, reaching out to touch his shoulders, his chest, his arms. “Are you okay?” she asked, her hands going back to her mouth again in dismay as he squatted down to retrieve her box.

  “I’ve been hit with worse.” He hefted the box and stood, smiling down at her. “I’m sorry I startled you. I heard you pull up, but then you spent so much time sitting there without moving that I thought I’d better check on you.” His grin went a little crooked. “It did occur to me you might have a date in there with you, but I thought I’d risk it.”

  “A date.” Anna gestured to herself grimly. “I don’t think I’d look like such hell if I was on a date. Or at least one would hope.”

  “You look perfect,” Jake said, and she looked at him, surprised by the intensity of his voice. But he kept going. “You got time for a cup of coffee or something?”

  “Coffee?” She was clearly having trouble processing words this evening, but Jake took off anyway, carrying her box with him, leaving her no choice but to follow after him. “Jake, it’s two in the morning. Normal people do not drink coffee at two in the morning.”

  “They don’t get home from work at two in the morning, either,” he said, holding the door open to his basement entryway. “And it’s really good coffee.”

  “I remember,” Anna murmured. That’s not all she remembered, she realized ruefully as she moved past him into the clean-smelling brownstone. Jake’s warm heat was now within arm’s reach, but she steeled herself to walk up the stairway in front of him, not turning around. They reached the kitchen and Jake set the box down on the table.

  “Now about that coffee,” he said. But instead of moving to his gorgeous coffee machine, he reached for her, his mouth pressing to hers before she even had time to think, to protest, to do anything but lift her face up to him and return his kiss, her arms going around him instinctively, naturally, as if they’d been together for years instead of not even a week, as if they’d only been apart for minutes instead of days. “Mmmm,” he sighed against her lips. “That’s enough to wake me up, I think.”

  “Jake.” The word came out with more angst than she’d meant it to, and Jake hugged her close.

  “No, no. Let me talk first,” he said. “I was out of line, being mad at you the other day. Your work is important to you, and I get that. I’m
sorry if I made you feel bad for having to take care of it.” He squeezed her, then leaned back to look down at her. “Forgive me?”

  If anything, his simple apology hurt worse. “You don’t have anything to apologize for,” she said. “I don’t know why all of this is upsetting me so much, but—”

  “Anna.” Jake’s smile had shifted to a frown. “What’s wrong? What happened?”

  “Nothing happened,” Anna all but wailed, the words tumbling out of her too quickly to be stopped. “I got a commendation at work and I’m going to Japan for a few months on assignment, and everything is going perfectly. I couldn’t be happier!”

  Jake stood stock-still, staring as tears coursed down Anna’s face. He’d heard what she said, and he was dealing with that sucker punch. But seeing Anna cry like this, dark rings under her eyes, her skin pale with exhaustion, made him want to fold her into his embrace and hold her all night long. “Honey, why are you crying?” he asked, forcing himself to keep his hands steady on her shoulders. “This work trip is a good thing, isn’t it?”

  “I’m not crying!” Anna protested. “I’m just—I’m just tired, I think.” She sniffled, and he reached for a dish towel, handing it to her as she laughed shakily. “Good thing I didn’t bother with makeup today.”

  “You look perfect—except for the tears,” Jake said again. He’d said the word out in the alley, and he’d meant it then, too. For months, he’d waited to see Anna walk by in cute little suits and high heels, hoping that the next outfit would be as good or better than the last, showing off her curves, her legs, her ass. But now he was just happy to have her walk by, period. To have her be near him, here, in his arms. He hated the tears, hated how her shoulders shook and her back bowed, hated that she felt she needed to be so strong around him all the time, around everyone, probably. He wanted to help her carry that load, even if only for tonight. Everything he’d planned for the weekend didn’t matter anymore. He’d undo all of that. It was pointless now, anyway, with her leaving. But he’d process her departure on his own time. Right now, he wanted to help her, to make her feel better, feel safe. “Hey,” he said, when she’d stopped trembling quite so much. “Why don’t you spend the night with me?”

  “Oh, Jake, I can’t. My mom’s new family is coming into town tomorrow and I—”

  “But you’ve still got to sleep, right? No pressure, nothing crazy.” He smiled into her eyes, still glassy with tears. “Just sleep.”

  “Just sleep?” she echoed, but when he heard the waver in her voice, he knew he had her. He grinned and held out his hand, feeling like a hero when she slipped hers into it.

  “I’ve never shown you the house, have I?”

  “Well, it’s a really nice kitchen.”

  “Come on. I think you’ll like it. But every room has its price.”

  She blinked at him, and a little more of her misery seemed to fall away. “I thought we were going to just sleep,” she said, but at least she was smiling again. She took his towel and went over to the kitchen sink, running water over the soft cloth before scrubbing her face with it. When she turned back around, he couldn’t tell how much of the flush was due to the towel and how much to his presence, but he didn’t care. She looked happier, and he took her hand again, showing her the drawing room, the library, the dining room, and grand foyer. In each of the rooms he gathered her close for a kiss, each kiss growing longer and more intense before he broke it off. Anna kissed him back, too, her own breath coming more quickly, her hand tightening on his as he moved with her up the stairs toward the sleeping quarters.

  “I never realized how big this place was,” Anna was saying now, peering into a bedroom. “I think it’s even bigger than Erin’s.”

  “They had large families back then,” Jake said. He shot a worried glance to Anna at the unguarded comment, but she was poking her head into another of the empty bedrooms. She looked at him quizzically as he moved her down the hallway to the next flight of stairs, allowing her only the briefest of glances into the rooms.

  “Don’t these rooms count for kisses?” she asked.

  “I’m saving up all bedroom costs for payment at the end,” he said, and he reached his own room, finally. Anna walked in, and her gasp was worth it. “This is so cool!” she said.

  Jake’s bedroom was by far his favorite in the whole house, an enormous master with a seating area by the huge windows, now open to the Boston night sky. The stars were visible even above the glow of the city, and he drew Anna into their light. He held her then, and kissed her hard and sure.

  “That’s one,” she said, smiling up at him when they finally broke apart.

  “Did I tell you there were fifty-seven bedrooms in this house?”

  Anna’s laugh was still a little wobbly, and Jake gathered her close again in a hug that had enough confidence for the both of them. “Shhh,” he said. He opened a drawer and pulled out a T-shirt for her, his mind already feeding him images of how amazing she’d look in it. “Bathroom’s down the hall. I’ll go lock everything down for the night. I’ll be here when you get back.”

  When she returned, Jake had all the lights in the house out except a single bedside lamp, but it was enough light for him to see that his shirt barely reached to Anna’s thighs. He tried not to act like the teenager he felt like, and scooted over in the bed. “Come here. I may have to give you that shirt, just so I can imagine you wearing it.”

  “It’s a little short—,” she began, and he shook his head.

  “No such thing.”

  She smiled and crawled in beside him, and despite his resolve to just hold her, to just sleep, he felt the need build in him, and there was no way she could miss that he was as hard as a board.

  As if on cue, Anna’s fingers closed around his cock, testing it. “I thought you said we were just going to sleep,” she said again, laughter in her voice.

  “That’s still the plan,” Jake said, hearing the tightness in his own voice. Nothing he could do about it, though. He’d just have to tough it out. “It’ll go away.”

  “Mmm. Maybe I don’t want it to go away.” She shifted against him, and Jake let her press him against the pillows, straddling his legs with hers. “I don’t suppose you have any—”

  “Drawer,” Jake said, but his eyes were on her face, her hair, her breasts as they swayed underneath his T-shirt. With perhaps a little more giggling than necessary, Anna sheathed him with the condom then proceeded to rub against him in long, lazy strokes. The shirt that he loved on her so much was now too much, and he grabbed her hips, stilling her. “Get that thing off, please,” he said. “I want to see you.”

  Anna hesitated, then nodded. “All right,” she said. She pulled the T-shirt off, her arms not even settling back down before Jake’s hands were on her breasts, his gaze going everywhere.

  “You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, while she slowly, carefully positioned herself over him, the little gasp telling him she was going easily for her sake, not for his. His body roared for him to thrust up into her, but he let her take her time, until he was completely buried inside her wet heat, her tight passage relaxing ever so slightly as it got used to the pressure of him inside her again.

  “Sorry,” she breathed. “I guess it’s been a few days.”

  “A few days too long.” Then Jake stilled as she began to move.

  “I want … I want to drive this time,” she said, and her face flushed even in the half-light. Jake pretty much could have died and gone to heaven a happy man right there, but there was something so final in Anna’s words, so resigned. She rocked on top of him, but he slid his hands to her waist, keeping the movement gentle.

  “Hey,” he said. “I don’t have to disappear, you know. You’re going to Japan, not another world. I could be here when you get back.”

  “But you’ll be on your trip.”

  “It’s a trip. Maybe I’ll make it a short one.” He smiled up at her. “Hell, maybe I’ll head to Japan, too.” He searched her gaze, but his words seemed t
o make her sadder, not happier. This wasn’t what he wanted for this night. He slid his hands back up and pulled her down toward him. “Kiss me,” he said.

  When she did, his arms went around her naturally, the feel of her with him as right as anything he’d ever experienced. He didn’t want to wait two months for her to come back; he wanted her now. He wanted her with him all the time.

  He wanted her.

  Chapter 27

  When the first rays of sunshine filtered in through the window, Anna sighed and snuggled tightly into Jake’s arms. Despite the fact that she’d only gotten—what, four hours of sleep?—she had time. Her mother wasn’t due in till midday, and since Rick was driving her, Anna didn’t have to worry about picking anyone up at the airport or the train station.

  And it just felt so right to be in Jake’s arms. She could just relax into his embrace, his heavy arms caging her, making her feel safe, wanted. He’d looked at her so earnestly last night, telling her he would wait for her. But she knew the truth about that. No matter what he wanted—and what she wanted, too, at least in the hazy light of an early dawn, with all the world at bay—there was no way for her to predict when she’d be back from Japan. Two months could easily turn into three, then four, then another assignment could crop up just that fast, and her plans would change again. There was a reason so many young consultants burned out. She wasn’t burned out though—she liked the travel, she really did.

  Except she’d never had a reason to stay in one place before, or a person who wanted her to stay.