“Fertility Specialists of Sarasota, Dr. Janice.” Her sweet voice answered the phone and I felt bad; I’m sure the time difference made it pretty late there.
“Hi, Dr. Janice. It’s Livia Jones. I’m sorry to call you so late, I’m in California and didn’t consider the time change. I can call you back tomorrow during business hours.” I was nervous, rambling, and I would call her back tomorrow.
“No, hon. It’s okay. I’ve been waiting for your call. I know how much you and Mr. Williams wanted to know the results from your ultrasound tests.” There was a short pause on her side of the phone, followed by rustling of papers.
“Okay, still with me?” she questioned and I nodded before speaking.
“Yep.” My voice sounded squeaky.
“The scar tissue we had suspected to be present in your uterus was more extensive that we had anticipated. Your chances of a successful natural conception are fairly low. If you both would like to discuss your options, we can set up an appointment to do so whenever you’re back from your trip. There are many successful alternatives we can try if you still wish to conceive.”
“Okay, I’ll give you a call when I get back. Thanks, Doctor,” I mumbled, not quite still present on the phone with her. I heard her say goodbye, and the call ended. My mind felt numb, and my heart broke.
There it was, one more thing to add to my list of Livia’s new shattered life.
Chapter Twelve
Killian
We had left Joel’s house two hours ago, and Livia was still faking that she was okay. She’d smile, but it didn’t reach her eyes. One of her demons had caught up to her, and she was having trouble fighting away the pain. Joel had given her a hug and told her she could come back whenever she wanted, and she simply thanked him and walked to the truck with her bag.
Even he knew something was wrong, but there wasn’t anything he could do. In truth, there wasn’t much I could do either, aside from drive the truck she claimed gave her peace.
We were heading into the city of Los Angeles to grab the next set of cars, and then we would be heading straight to Las Vegas to drop them off. It would be a short trip of four hours after doing the pickup.
Then we’d be staying overnight in Vegas before heading up to Montana tomorrow morning. She nodded when I told her the plan, and mumbled something about going out and getting drunk. I understood the need to erase the demons with a bottle of something hard, but I wasn’t about to let her do it alone, even though I hated Vegas and everything it had to offer. I was more of a nature man than all the chaos of sin city, but I’d join her to keep her safe.
The car dealer had the cars ready to be loaded, so that was a quick and painless grab. Livia seemed to have no interest in looking around, and after she went to the bathroom, she returned to the drawing she had started earlier in the ride.
I’ve never heard silence quite this loud. The truck was back to feeling like a cloud had covered it. Once again I wished there was something I could do to cheer her up. But as the hours went by, and the city of Vegas neared, I could see her demeanor change from sullen to determined. She was going to try and move on, or forget whatever had taken her underwater. She wanted to breathe freely again. Whether I wanted the job or not, I felt like this girl’s lifeline, a guide to helping her learn to survive and beat back the demons. If she needed me tonight for that, I would be there.
The old man who ordered the cars was waiting as we pulled up to his mansion just outside the strip. He smiled as I unloaded them for his waiting eyes. He was a retired magician from the old days of Vegas, settling in the desert he loved after making his fortune. He collected strange cars, and frequented classic car shows when they were around. Which, being Vegas, was often. All the invoices were sent beforehand and he had already taken care of it. I’d transported cars for him a few times. When I got back into the truck, Livia was putting on makeup and playing with her hair in the mirror on the visor. She didn’t need makeup. Her pale skin was flawless, her eyes were bright without the added crap, and her lips didn’t need any extra color to make men want them. They were thinking about those lips around their dicks without it. But it showed she was putting on her game face and that she was going to let it out tonight.
We parked at a truck stop, and she looked at me with that same desperate stare as before.
“Will you come out with me tonight? I want to go out and get lost, but I don’t wanna get lost alone.” She wanted to get lost with me. I’d already decided I was going out with her before she asked, but now that she had put it that way, there was nothing on earth that could stop me from helping her forget her struggles. It had been so long since I had been needed for anything other than my job. Deep in my bones, I knew her desperation like I knew my own. The only person I had was Joel, and right now, I was going to be her person.
“Yeah.”
“Yeah? Great! I want to eat something good, then drink, and dance. Any ideas of where to start?” She grabbed her bank card and ID, shoving them in her bra. Interesting.
“Yeah, I’ve got you.” I’d figure it out, having done the Vegas scene previously in my own days of despair. She gave me a quick smile, and we got out of the truck. I unloaded the bike and locked everything up.
“No helmets,” I told her, regretting not having one for her. I didn’t care to wear them, honestly never thought to. If I was meant to die, then I would. But if something happened to her because of me, I would never forgive myself.
She swung her little body over the bike and straddled the seat. I refused to acknowledge the way my dick stirred from seeing her like that. Not going to happen.
“It’s okay. We’ll dance with destiny tonight.” I liked the sound of that. One thing life had taught me was, nothing was guaranteed. You had to live the life you wanted. Hence my driving for a living. For some people, it was a shitty way of life. But I got to wake up somewhere different every day, taking part in many adventures that people stuck in the same town couldn’t enjoy. I was living the way I wanted to.
Joining her on the bike, she slid her body up against mine and wrapped her arms around my torso. I made a silent plea that her hands wouldn’t go any lower and touch my growing dick.
The motorcycle rumbled to life and we sped off towards our first stop.
**
“This is amazing pizza. I’m glad you didn’t take me to some fancy place with chandeliers.” She swallowed her mouthful of pizza and went back for more from her slice. I nodded my agreement. I’d taken her to Secret Pizza, best pizza joint in Vegas as far as I’m concerned.
“Didn’t take you for that type of girl.” I looked her over, savoring how she looked in this moment. Her hair was braided to the side, and the makeup she’d used just enhanced her features, and wasn’t caked on. She was wearing jeans and a tank top, with a knit sweater over it. The boots covering her feet looked nice over the jeans. She was beautiful, even with the pizza sauce on her upper lip.
“I’m not. I don’t like super fancy things, never have.” It was something I guessed about her right away. She wasn’t the glamorous type; women like that weren’t into truckers. Not that she was into me.
“Drinks and dancing after?” I asked, making sure that’s what she still wanted to do.
“Yep. Hope you don’t mind.” She was honestly worried whether I would have a problem with it or not.
“Don’t care. I’ll make sure you get back to the truck safe.” And I would. She wanted to drink away her sorrows for the night, and I’d watch over her. When she felt like shit the next day of our drive, she could sleep it off in the bunk. Her life was put in my hands the moment I agreed to her deal, and I wasn’t going to let her be smothered.
“Thanks, Killian. I know you’re not my biggest fan. I talk a lot, and like to bounce around in my seat. But I appreciate everything you’ve done for me. You don’t really know it, but you’ve helped me so much.” She finished eating her pizza and looked at me with hope in her eyes. She thought I didn’t like her. I was torn betwe
en wanting to correct her and letting her continue thinking that. If she thought I wasn’t a fan of her, as she put it, she would keep her distance. If she knew she was crawling under my skin to deeper places, I’m not sure what would happen. Unable to stop myself, my fingers lifted and wiped the sauce off her lips with my thumb. Her lips were soft, and her warm breath caressed me through her parted lips.
“Been there. I got you.” I felt like an asshole again for not correcting her, but it was for the best.
We paid for dinner, and then I took us to Carnaval Court, an open-air club. It was cold out, but once she got moving her body would warm up quickly. I wasn’t into indoor places where I couldn’t get out easily. This was the place I felt safest, outside.
She quickly ordered a drink, and thus began the night officially.
Three shots later, she finally made it out to the dance floor. She wiggled her ass, and threw her hands in the air, letting her inhibitions go. A few men had tried to dance with her, but when their eyes made contact with mine, I gave them the look that said to remove their hands or I’d break them off and toss them over my shoulder. They got the picture, and she danced alone, not having a problem with it one bit. I briefly wondered if she was going through an I-hate-men hiatus. She hadn’t made a move on Joel; I was surprised when he told me that. And she wasn’t looking for any attention from guys here, either. She just wanted to dance and drink her memories away. The great puzzle of why she was on the run was starting to drive me nuts.
Her eyes caught mine staring at her, and she danced her way over to me. Hell.
“Hey there, grumpy. You need to loosen up; come dance with me,” she demanded, and grabbed my hand, trying to pull me off my stool. It was a comical sight to see.
“I’m good here.”
“Come on, pleaseee,” she begged, and I was still holding true to my words. She could turn her desperate eyes on me all she wanted but I did not dance.
“Nope,” I told her, and took a sip of my water. No alcohol for me tonight, not while watching her.
“Why don’t the men in my life ever want to dance with me? Am I really that horrible a dancer?” She let go of me and took a step back, her bright smile slipping off her face.
“Maybe we should go,” she said, subdued. She was falling fast. Fuck. My drink was on the table in seconds, and my hand grabbed hers, leading her to a dancing spot. Mentally I was cursing myself and her for doing this, but I couldn’t handle her going back into the darkness when I could do something about it. She smiled and started to move with the song. I wouldn’t be giving her the moves like Jagger, but I swayed, trying to get her to get back into her good mood.
“You’re dancing!” She stared at me in awe. I rolled my eyes.
“Take advantage,” I told her, and that sunshine smile appeared on her face once again.
Chapter Thirteen
Livia
Killian was dancing with me. Another medal for Livia Jones, people! I wiggled my hips from side to side and felt the beat down in my bones. My plan to get over my call with Dr. Janice was going successfully. I was enjoying my life, and while I might not be completely facing it head on, I had accepted what was given to me and was trying to move forward. Right now that included shots and dancing with this man. His eyes never left mine, and I wasn’t going to give up looking at him for anything right now.
The song’s beat was perfect, and the lyrics were talking about being a lifeline. Killian, whether he knew it or not, had become like a lifeline for me in this moment. I had felt like I was drowning, and he let me jump on his boat with him. Ever since, any time I started to fall, he subtly helped me stay afloat. This was my theme song right now. With the alcohol running through my system I felt the need to tell him that.
“This is my theme song for this moment.” His eyes lit up, intensifying the heat held in them. It was a bad idea, but I couldn’t stop myself; my body inched closer to his, fingers running up his chest and weaving my hands around his neck. Our bodies were touching, and he hadn’t pulled back. He was watching me with that heated stare, trying to read me. His hands stayed at his side and I moved against him, writhing against his hips, enjoying the beat.
It wasn’t until I felt his cock growing while I moved against him that I stilled. He was getting hard for me? Was it just because I was a woman moving against him, or did he actually want me? A thought I truly hadn’t considered until this moment.
When I started to move away from him, ashamed, his hand reached out and grabbed my arm, preventing me from leaving him. I tried to read his emotions through his stormy eyes, but all he had was that intense stare.
“You shouldn’t be drowning on your own.” It was part of the lyric to the song, but I get what he meant. Right now, we were together. Something had changed in him, something feral, something irrevocably provocative. His head leaned down to where his breath teased my cheek by my ear.
“Dance with destiny, Livia,” he whispered against me, and I swear it was the hottest thing anyone has ever said to me. My whole entire body turned molten, and I wanted nothing more than to let everything go with him. No struggles, no pain, no problems. Just me and him, right now, dancing in Vegas. A place I never thought I’d be.
My nose ran along his cheekbone, and my hips started swaying slowly against him. He understood that as my agreement. From that moment, neither of us disconnected from the other. His hands were on me, and mine were running over his chest, feeling him, feeling every flex of his muscles from my touch. Even as the song changed to something different, we danced as if our theme song was still going on. His erection was pressed against my abdomen, and I felt the need to do something about it.
Never had I felt so strongly about a man’s desire. I moved against him, and pulled him closer than we were before. I needed to be plastered to this man. He must have felt the same way, because his fingers splayed against my ass, and pulled me hard against his cock. A gasp fled my lips.
It was that gasp that did him in; his hand cupped behind my neck and his lips crushed against mine.
My knees immediately felt weak, but he was quick to catch me, holding my body to his with his strong arm around my waist. Wasting no time, our tongues met and explored each other’s mouths. His kiss lit a fire in me that I would gladly burn to ashes in, just for a taste of more. Soft lips, but demanding in their pursuit to electrify my soul. I held onto him so tightly, I feared for ripping his shirt. Not a horrible crime to commit against humanity. When his hips moved his cock against me, I was on my way to a complete unraveling.
“Killian.” His name was a prayer on my lips, a prayer to soothe the ache that had been created.
“Say my name one more time, and I’ll crush your perfect fucking body against the wall behind us, and dry fuck you until everyone on the strip knows my name.”
“Oh, God.” My head rolled back as his lips moved over my neck, pressing hot kisses against my skin like the ones I had imagined in the shower the day before.
“God won’t want any part of the things I would do to you Livia.” I believe it. Killian would handle me in ways that only a sinner would be begging for.
It wasn’t until then that I realized I really did want him like that. I touched myself thinking of him, and had imagined him that way. But I’d never had him touch me like he was barely hanging on to his control. I’d never tasted his lips on mine. Before, I would have been okay if it never happened. It was a fantasy. Now I wouldn’t be able to truly say I’d lived until I’d had him as mine. Even for a night. I was about to plead with him to do as he said.
But then my stomach started churning.
I pulled back, and Killian looked at me with alarm in his eyes. He knew something wasn’t right, so he let me go, but kept a hand on me to steady me. It had been years since I had drank as much as I had tonight, and it seemed my body did not approve.
“Let’s go.” He grabbed my hand and I nodded. I did just want to lie down and prepare to puke.
“Sorry.” I felt bad that my stom
ach had bad timing. He didn’t say anything but walked with me back to the bike.
“Think you’ll be okay to ride? We aren’t far.” He was in full caretaker mode and it was something new for me. A dam between us had been broken and something had escaped between us. I prayed it was the wall he had around him from the beginning.
“Yeah.” My stomach felt sour, but I thought I could make it.
Turns out I barely made it, because as soon as we parked in front of the truck, my stomach forced all of its tenants to evacuate the premises.
Killian held me so I didn’t fall on my own vomit. After I was done, he helped me walk to the restrooms, and since there was no one in there, he went in with me to assist me with cleaning up. I was very grateful for his help. He’d become Killian the caretaker, an unexpected and sweet side to him. After that, he carried me to the truck in his strong arms, and, after huffing at me to change clothes, turned around to give me privacy. I did as I was told, but my disappointment for how the night was turning out was growing inside me by the minute.
Once dressed, I climbed into my bunk and snuggled deep into the blanket.
“Get some rest.” His voice was hoarse, and then he started taking off his clothes, getting ready for bed himself. My eyes took in every muscle as he moved to change, and that nagging disappointment bubbled up again. Tonight could have gone so differently, and because I haven’t had a drink in years, my stomach couldn’t hack it. I had felt like I was moving on, and getting past the troubles that were following me. But I realized I was just running away from them.
Tears started flowing from my eyes, and I couldn’t muffle the sobs escaping from my mouth.
Everything was hitting me all at once, and I felt like I needed to purge the feelings that I’ve kept inside me for the past month. My tears didn’t even pause when big arms wrapped themselves around my body and lifted me against a warm chest. In fact, it made me cry harder, that he didn’t hate me for ruining the mood earlier. He adjusted us, and then laid us down in his bunk together, my head on his chest, and his arms holding me against him tightly.
Long Drive Page 6
