Shiftr: Swipe Left for Love (Ryzard) BBW Bear Shifter Romance (Hope Valley BBW Dating App Romance Book 9)

by Ariana Hawkes

  There was one gift that didn’t match the others. It was an exquisite jade green bracelet, and it was exactly the kind of style that she loved. After trying it on quickly and admiring the way it looked on her wrist, she put it back in its box.

  “If Ryzard thinks he’s going to flirt with me and get me to sleep with him again, he’s got another think coming,” she muttered to herself.

  Two days passed, and Ryzard stayed true to his word – he didn’t come and bother her again. Marilyn’s emotions had gone back and forth more times than she could count, torn between never wanting to see him again, and an awareness that the boys had a right to know their father.

  On the evening of the second day, she left the boys with her mom and drove off in the direction of the western forest road.

  She passed several neat, homely cabins, but when she reached the last place on the road, she blinked hard. It was a beautiful home, much bigger than the others, with a wraparound porch and stunning flower beds on all sides. This clearly wasn’t Ryzard’s house. She must’ve got confused about the roads, since they weren’t signposted. She backed the car up and turned a tight u-turn. As she headed back the way she’d come, she heard her name being bellowed from a distance. A tall, broad figure was sprinting behind the car. She hit the brake.

  “Marilyn? You were coming to see me?” Ryzard said, leaning into the car as she opened her window.

  “You live in that house?” was all she could say. He shrugged.

  “Yup. I just built it.”

  “I decided we should probably talk,” she said haltingly.

  “Great.” He seemed relaxed today, flashing straight white teeth in a grin. She tried to not let her mouth hang open as she parked the car at the side of the road and followed him back to the house.

  “Nice job.”

  “Thanks. I had a little help from the guys.”

  They sat at a table on the porch and he brought them coke each. She observed him as he went back and forth. He was a little stiff, as if he was doing something that didn’t come naturally to him, and she found it almost endearing.

  “I’ve decided that it’s not fair on the boys for me to stop you from seeing them,” she said, getting to the point right away. He flashed those teeth again in a smile so dazzlingly handsome that her heart thudded in her rib cage. Stop, she told herself. So what if he’s attractive? She tried not to notice how well his simple navy t-shirt fitted him, clinging to his pecs and the sleeves tight on his biceps. A fleeting memory sizzled across her brain, of stroking those pecs, licking his nipples, all the while marveling at how soft his skin was.

  “So I can be their father?” he said eagerly. She nodded.

  “You can visit them, occasionally, for now. And on supervised visits. I need to know that I can trust you with them.” He nodded readily, but there was a flash of hurt in his eyes.

  “I understand. I know I’ve got a lot of work to do before you’ll be happy leaving me alone with them. But I’m going to do whatever it takes. You’ll see how serious I am, Marilyn, believe me.”

  “I hope so.”

  “Now, what are their names?” She showed him the screensaver on her phone and he gazed at it in fascination. “They’re good-looking boys,” he said, gruffly. “They must’ve got most of your genes.”

  “This is Angus,” she said, pointing out the one on the left. “He’s the taller one, but he’s a gentle giant, compared to his brother. And this is Blake, my little tearaway.”

  “Great, strong names, befitting their shifter nature,” he said, his chest swelling with pride.

  “Maybe I chose them subconsciously,” she said, with a hint of amusement in her voice. “Do you know, I assumed they were my ex-husband’s until I saw them and knew immediately that they were yours?” He grinned.

  “I’m happy to hear that. But how did you end up in Hope Valley? It’s a long way from Melville?” She shrugged.

  “I did plenty of research into men who can turn into bears, and let’s say the path led me here. I wanted my boys to grow up among their own kind, and to have the support of other parents.” His expression turned serious.

  “Marilyn, I’m here to support you at every step of the way. I hope you know that.” She took a breath, gathering her thoughts.

  “I’m starting to see another side to you, Ryzard. But to be honest, after the way my husband treated me, deceiving me for all those years, I don’t have a lot of trust in men. So I guess time will tell.” Ryzard’s fists clenched and his biceps bulged, and she quaked, wondering what was coming next.

  “That dirty dog,” he growled. “I’d like to hunt him down and beat the crap out of him. How he could do that to someone as decent and good-hearted and beautiful as you, I don’t know. He should’ve thanked his lucky stars that he met you, and spent the rest of his miserable life treating you like a queen.” Marilyn’s mouth opened and closed again and her cheeks warmed.

  “I’m not like that,” he continued. “I know you haven’t seen the best of me yet. And I don’t expect you to trust me right away, but I am a man of my word. Especially now that I’ve got the best possible motivations.” Marilyn nodded slowly.

  “I do want things to work out between you and the boys. And it will make me happy if we reach the point where you can truly be their father.” Ryzard grinned.

  “I won’t let you down, Marilyn.” Those pale blue eyes of his were regarding her so intensely that she found herself believing him.

  “Do you want to see some more photos of the boys?” she said.

  “I sure do.” Eagerly, she showed him one picture after another, starting with herself, very heavily pregnant, then tracing their entire lives, from when they were red-faced screaming newborns, to their first bath, to their first attempts to crawl, to their first step. Their first birthday, their first Christmas – every joyous moment of their development. From time to time, Ryzard scrubbed at his eyes. She kept her head dipped so as not to embarrass him, but the show of emotion touched her heart. He couldn’t have been more excited or enthusiastic, and he asked a million questions, about every aspect of rearing them, as if he wanted to learn everything he could about being a parent.

  “Our babies,” he exclaimed when they’d looked at every single photo on her phone.

  “I know. Who would’ve thought that crazy night would’ve led to two little people being created,” she said with a laugh.

  Glancing at the time, she was shocked to see that two hours had slid by. “I should be going now, but there’s just one thing I need to say.” She reached into her purse and took out the bracelet he’d given her. “I’m sorry but I really can’t accept this gift. I’m happy that you want to be a father to the boys, but I can never be with you. I can’t have a relationship with you.” She saw his pupils dilate, his jaw tense.

  “Marilyn, I bought the gift to say sorry to you. I wish with all my heart that I hadn’t gotten so drunk and shifted in front of you, then threatened your family. I know the gift won’t make up for what I did, but I hoped you could accept it as a small token of my regret. I’m not trying to be with you though. I’m not mate material. One day you’ll find someone – probably on that dating app – who can give you everything you deserve. But I’m not that man.”

  Marilyn froze, stunned. This, she hadn’t expected at all. Her first reaction was to argue with him.

  “Oh, ok. Good,” she said instead. “I’m glad we’ve got that cleared up.” She got to her feet. “I’ll be on my way now.”

  “Marilyn.” He reached for her hand and held it in his large, callused one. “I’m very grateful to you for allowing me to be a part of my sons’ lives. And I want you to know that I’m here to stay.”

  11

  What just happened? Marilyn thought during the drive back home. I was almost disappointed when he said he didn’t want to be with me. What the hell’s wrong with me? She shook her head hard to clear her thoughts. I was just taken aback at how excited he was about the boys. And how much nicer he is than he us
ed to be. But it was more than that, and she knew it. She hadn’t lost the attraction to him that had initially caused her to have the first one night stand of her entire life; to get naked with a complete stranger. He was absolutely gorgeous. Those incredible eyes. That huge, powerful body, that just made you long to be taken in his arms. But it doesn’t matter. He might intend to be a good father now, but who knows when he might take off again. What he said about himself was true – he’s just not mate material, she thought.

  After that, Ryzard messaged Marilyn every day, asking how the boys were doing and if she needed anything. In a few days’ time she invited him over to meet the boys. He arrived punctually, his hair still damp from the shower. When she opened the door and Angus and Blake peeked out, he dropped to his knees on the porch and opened his arms wide. The boys made those funny little animal noises that they’d made when they saw him in his bear form, and, with no hesitation at all, they ran into his arms, one on each side, their small arms wrapped around his shoulders. “My sons,” he murmured. “I’ve got two sons.” He stroked their hair, their heads so tiny in his hands. He knew their scent. It was his own, mingled with Marilyn’s. His bear was trying to lick their faces, but he clenched his teeth and kept it under control. They were his. It was almost too much to comprehend. But it was true. He could see their shifter nature in their eyes, in the way they held themselves; he smelled it in their scent. And they trusted him, with a deep, primal instinct. They understood his bear’s call, even though he was a perfect stranger to them. His eyes teared up and he bit back a sob. These two beings, who’d been on earth – how long – less than two years? – were his own flesh and blood. They came from his seed. “Mine. Mine,” his bear rumbled over and over again, and euphoria raced through his veins.

  He spent the rest of the play date picking them up, swinging them around, letting them crawl all over him. They treated him like he was a playground, and pulled his hair and pinched him, but he didn’t care. He was happier than he’d ever been in his life.

  After that, he stayed true to his word. He responded eagerly every time Marilyn invited him over, turning up with a little gift or something nice to eat. One day he even brought some rabbits he’d hunted, and cooked them on the barbecue. But most of all, he spent hours and hours playing with the boys, play fighting, letting them ride around on his back. He really is turning into a great dad, Marilyn thought, almost wistfully, watching him play tag with them one afternoon, while they both giggled hysterically in delight. He’d patiently learned how to feed and bathe them, and the tenderness she saw in his eyes every time he looked at them couldn’t be faked.

  A few weeks later, Ryzard shyly invited them over to his place, and they all came for the afternoon. As he showed them around, he tried to lift Blake onto his hip, as he’d seen Marilyn do, but it wasn’t as easy for him.

  “You need women’s hips to do that right,” she said with a laugh. Instead, he lifted the boy right up and put him over his shoulders. Blake squealed in delight and grabbed clumps of Ryzard’s hair in his two small fists. It stung a little, but Ryzard was too happy to care. He lifted him off as they went through the front door, worried that he’d be a clumsy bear and smack his head on something. Blake started to wriggle in his arms, so he put him down and he ran off, keen to explore the house. “This is the living room,” Ryzard announced, indicating the first room they came to. “This is the kitchen.” He pointed each room out, one at a time, explaining how he’d constructed it, and answering Marilyn’s increasingly curious questions.

  “It’s a lovely home, Ryzard,” Marilyn said at last, when they were done. He looked down at her, inhaling her incredible scent with every breath.

  “Before this I just lived in a shack,” he said. “But Tamika advised me to make a real big place if I wanted to get you to forgive me.” Marilyn’s syrup-brown eyes sparkled with amusement.

  “Oh she did, did she?” she said.

  “She did. I wanted to prove that I was willing to make every effort necessary to make it up to you. I’m also quitting my job, and starting a new job working in a lumberyard at the edge of the city on Monday, so I won’t need to be away overnight anymore, and I’ll be able to spend more time with the boys.” She smiled.

  “And what else did Tamika say to you?” He opened his mouth to tell the truth – that she was his mate – then closed it again. She couldn’t be his mate, and there was no reason to make things awkward.

  “Ah, nothing much,” he said carelessly instead.

  The boys loved being in his cabin. He even taught them to swim in his outdoor pool, and to Marilyn’s amazement, they could swim almost immediately.

  “Animal instincts,” he explained, with a wink.

  “I trust that young man,” Marilyn’s mom said one day. “At first I wasn’t sure. I was worried the boys were just a novelty for him, and he’d get tired of them. But I’ve been watching him carefully, and I can see the pride and love in his eyes when he takes care of them. I think he’s bonded with them, and he’ll stick around and be a good dad.”

  “I was thinking the same thing,” Marilyn replied. In fact, his whole demeanor had softened, as if becoming a father had transformed him.

  At last, with only a little trepidation, Marilyn let him have an unsupervised visit.

  “Don’t look so worried,” he said to her as he strapped them into the new child seats in the back of his car. “If you understood what loyalty meant to shifters, and how protective we are of those we love, you wouldn’t have the slightest concern. I’d die before I’d let anything happen to Angus and Blake. Or to you. And I mean that literally.” He turned to her as he finished speaking, and his eyes blazed with such an animal light that she knew he spoke the truth.

  When he brought them back, right at the agreed time, they were rosy cheeked with twigs in their hair, and he explained that he’d taken them for a run in the national park, pointing out all the animals to them. He liked to carry them on his shoulders, and they loved it, bouncing along and shrieking with excitement.

  After that unsupervised visits became common, and he even had them overnight sometimes. He took them to the park, off on excursions, playing in the garden and running in the forest. He had boundless energy, and loved playing the rough and tumble games that they adored.

  But whenever Marilyn dropped them off, or he picked them up, she’d get a pang, which seemed to get a little worse every day. Angus and Blake loved being with their Dadda, as they’d started to call him, and she hated the way that they couldn’t have their momma with them at the same time. Almost as bad, her feelings were getting less platonic all the time. There was just something about a drop-dead sexy man being a caring and protective father that drove her crazy. She felt her heart, which had been closed for so long, begin to unfurl itself. She started looking for reasons to hang around at the start and end of each visit. She’d often offer him coffee or some food, and encourage him to chat. He was great company, and she could always discuss her work issues with him, and he’d listen attentively and offer calm, measured advice.

  “You get to do a lot of thinking when you’re on the road,” he told her one day, when she commented that he was one of the most rational guys she’d ever met. “I know I’ve often been a hothead, but there was always the side of me that loved the peace of the open road. All the space and the quiet of nature.”

  “Maybe that’s how you were supposed to be, but your upbringing changed you,” she said cautiously. He nodded.

  “That’s occurred to me once or twice.”

  She wanted to ask him more about his father and what his childhood had been like, but she always hung back, feeling like she didn’t have the right.

  One day he came to pick the boys up to take them to an adventure park.

  “Want to come too?” he asked, kind of half-heartedly, as if he knew that she wouldn’t.