Me Without You

by Rona Go

  Jonah couldn't help but smile. And for a brief moment, she mused if she could manage to smile and kiss him back at the same time. Somehow she seemed to be managing both as she lost herself to the whirling and wonderful sensations in her stomach and the desire to get even closer to Xavier.

  But as their kiss started to go deeper, both Jonah and Xavier withdrew from each other and let out a loud, "Ouch!"

  Clutching the side of his ribs, Xavier turned around just in time to see Jervais coming out from the bushes.

  "What!" Jonah exclaimed, finding herself dazed and in pain. She was experiencing the same gush of pain in her stomach that was cutting through her breath. Holding on to Xavier's arms, she turned around as she heard the rustling sound behind her."Jervais, what are you doing here?"

  "You stay away from her!" Jervais cried out.

  Looking a little bit flushed, Xavier dropped his hands from Jonah's face. He got a disposable mask from his pocket and put it on. With his head low, he scanned the ground and dug dirt with his right foot. He placed both hands inside his back pockets.

  "Oh, please!" Jervais told him. "You're lucky you're sick! Or I would have hit you in the head."

  "I'm sorry, I'll go!" Xavier said in a soft voice, momentarily looking at Jonah, who was trying her best not to cringe.

  "Don't you know what you've done to her? She cut her hair almost to the root—now, she's having bad-hair-day everyday! Her skin asthma has gone worse—it's gross! She refused to eat—she's almost malnourished. She cried herself to sleep for weeks! She almost didn't want to go to college! Our family would have spent thousands for the shrink. In short, she's hurt!" Jervais said angrily, "Damn you—you hurt her!"

  "Jervais, stop it, please—" Jonah cried out, clutching her tummy.

  However, the older Blood continued, "If you ever come near her, I'll use my tapping on you! You should know by now who you are dealing with here."

  "What tapping?" Jonah asked curiously.

  "Oh, you know—the one Aunt Judith—our sorcerer Aunt Judith, taught us how to!" Jervais answered her eyes getting larger by the minute.

  Looking confused, Jonah could not help but asked, "She did?"

  "Whatever— Just stay away from her!"

  Jonah quickly left her spot and stand next to her sister. She lightly touched Jervais' arm and looked at her with pleading eyes. "Please, Jervais, calm down."

  "Now, what's with you?" Jervais asked, noticing Jonah's face for the first time. "You don't look well."

  "Nobody told me there's a meeting by the pond," Hugh's cheerful voice came through, breaking what seemed like a tensed bubble surrounding Xavier, Jonah and Jervais. "Or I would have gotten here sooner."

  "Hugh!" Jonah said happily. Aside from Hugh's good timing, as it had obviously given Jervais time to collect herself and calmed down, Jonah was genuinely glad to see Hugh again. And the pain in her mid-section was slowly easing.

  "What's up?" Hugh said looking from one face to another. "What's going on? When X told me, he had to tell me something back here I wasn't expecting to see you? You cut your hair," Hugh said.

  "You told me to do it," Jonah replied.

  "Let go off something heavy and the others will follow," Both Hugh and Jonah said at the same time, recalling his sage-like words about the hair.

  "Well, it suits you. You're beautiful. Your face just glows…without too much distraction," Hugh told Jonah impulsively. Then, he felt himself blushing and warmly flushed from neck up. "Don't you think so, X?"

  "Yeah, I told her that. But nothing's going on here. We just kind of run into each other. This meeting was totally unexpected," Xavier told Hugh, throwing him an unnoticeable look not to proceed further which Hugh caught on immediately.

  "And who's the back-up?" Jervais cut in.

  "Hugh," Hugh extended his hand towards Jervais. "Xavier's brother. You must be a sister!"

  Jervais did not take Hugh's hand. With a sigh, she reached out for Jonah's arm and turned to leave with her. "Let's go!" she said quietly.

  Jonah did not want to look back anymore. But when Jervais stopped to give Xavier another look, Jonah also did.

  Xavier had attempted to take a step in their direction and follow them. Seeing this, Jervais stopped, picked a fist-sized rock and acted like she was about to hurl it to him.

  "Hey! Hey! Hey!" Hugh was quick enough to say and stepped in front of Xavier.

  Jervais dropped the rock away and continued to walk with Jonah right behind her. "A man in love will act senselessly and would rather get a cracked head than to let you go without saying anything," Jervais told Jonah. "It's only then when you go back running to him."

  "What if that would never happen?" Jonah asked in a small, hesitant voice. "He could die before having his head cracked." Jonah paused for awhile and felt like the rock hit her instead.

  "Then, run to the other brother, he seemed ready to take anything thrown his way," Jervais said.

  When the two sisters disappeared into the darker part of the woods leading back to the Blood property, Xavier backed off and walked away in a different direction.

  "X! Hey, wait a minute!" Hugh called out to Xavier. "What was that all about?"

  "Nothing!" Xavier said and kept on walking.

  "Are you and Jonah okay?" Hugh asked.

  "I don't know!" Xavier replied, speeding up a little with the darkness almost obscuring their path."We didn't get the chance to really talk. What took you so long anyway?"

  "I got held up." Hugh replied.

  "Aunt Gilda?" Xavier inquired.

  "Who else?" Hugh answered. "She asked about the habak. Told me to give it to Jonah as soon as possible. Funny, but she also asked me to continue healing you from this day on. As if I even started."

  "I told her you did!" Xavier uttered.

  "You did what? You can't be serious!" Hugh demanded. He caught Xavier's arm and made him stopped on his tracks.

  "I had to tell her," Xavier explained.

  "Why?" Hugh asked. He was sweating all over and panting.

  "Because you did!" Xavier chatted merrily. "Look at me, I'm all fit."

  Hugh watched Xavier in a jiffy before giving in, "Yeah, you look well indeed. But I don't think it has something to do with me! You said you had something to tell me. What is it, then?"

  Chapter 15

  The Breath of Happiness

  What a day it was! Jonah took in some air and let it out. She had thought the day wouldn't end anymore. Or if it would, she had anticipated something worse to happen. The day had been packed with a lot of things, but Jonah couldn't even remember the details anymore.

  The only event which registered was seeing Xavier again. It was in itself an adventure. And kissing him was another tale that could last a whole day to tell.

  Jonah timidly poked her head on Jane's bedroom door. Before, Jonah could even find where Jane was, she heard her sister's amused voice.

  "You've been sleeping here for a few nights now," Jane said, watching Jonah.

  Indeed, Jonah had already invaded Jane's room for nights ever since Rebecca died.

  "You're not a child anymore, Jonah!" Jane said. Nevertheless, she signaled for Jonah to get in. She was arranging the flowers on top of her two-seater table just by the large window.

  Jonah entered the room and jumped on the king-sized bed. She hid behind the covers as it smelled of fresh, flowery fabric softener. Everybody loved Jane's room. It was probably the most warm and clean room in the whole mansion. The minimalist arrangement gave the room a liberating feel with a lot of space in it which ironically synchronized with the oversized stuff like the bed, the television and the three-piece coffee table set. The peaches-and-creams paint made anybody feel so comfortable and homey. Unlike the whole heavy and dark hues which Rebecca had her interior decorator set all over the mansion.

  And Jane never failed to take some of her delicious goodies and cookies in her room, which was an added attraction.

  "What's wrong, Jonah?" Jane asked.

&nb
sp; Jonah trembled involuntarily as she told Jane the truth, "I'm scared of your mother!"

  With Jonah's room adjacent to Rebecca's bedroom, she felt like her mother was watching every move she made. Although it could only be part of her imagination, she had been hearing voices whispering in her ear, calling her name."Besides the boomerang child is in my room," she added.

  "Jervais?" Jane asked following Jonah. She took her pillow and fluffed it up to its bulk.

  "She said she might stay here for a while until she finds work again," Jonah confided.

  "She lost her job again?" Jonah's older sister asked in amazement as she climbed behind the covers as well.

  "She quit her job again," Jonah corrected. "Jervais has always made the distinction."

  Jane lifted her head with one supporting elbow and looked at Jonah for a moment. She found a tiny insect bite on Jonah's arm and started scratching it. Jane knew Jonah loved it. When Jonah was a little child, scratching whatever itch she had was the only thing which made her sleep early. Then, Jane asked, "Why are you scared of your mother? Your mother loved you. You are her menopausal baby."

  Jonah almost laughed out loud. "I don't know if being a menopausal baby is something to be proud of, Jane. And please, your mother didn't know how to love. She couldn't care less," she answered. "Is it true that Aunt Judith gave us our names?"

  "I don't know. Maybe. Except for Bricius, ours start in J. If there's even any connection." Jane replied thoughtfully.

  "As usual, Aunt Judith—the helicopter parent," Jonah said. The image of her Aunt Judith brewing a concoction for Rebecca was still lingering in her mind. She couldn't easily get rid of the suspicion that her Aunt Judith had somehow been involved in Rebecca's death.

  "Jane, have you noticed Aunt Judith lately—how she has been acting strangely ever since your mother died?" Jonah whispered.

  "I haven't noticed," Jane said, getting into the furtiveness of the mood. Then, she laughed out loud. "This is crazy! Since when have you become such a snoop?"

  "Jane, Aunt Judith brewed the concoction that your mother took to supposedly heal her? The coroner thinks your mother has been poisoned."

  "If Aunt Judith poisoned her, it will be so easy to point back to her. She's not that stupid, Jonah! And your mother ain't that foolish as well not to know, being powerful and all," the older sibling reasoned.

  "I don't know how she can get away with it, Jane!" Jonah said matter-of-factly."I just get the feeling that she knows more than she's letting us on."

  "I would suspect your ex-boyfriend's aunt more than I would suspect Aunt Judith," Jane said and turned her back on Jonah.

  "Whose Aunt?" Jonah inquired

  "Why? X's Aunt Gilda—I found her with your mother dead," Jane said.

  "Oh," Jonah simply said, pretending not to know she had seen Gilda Byrne.

  Jonah recalled the strange visitor the Blood matriarch had before she died. She couldn't believe that Xavier was somehow connected to the woman. Could Xavier be the reason why his Gilda wanted Rebecca dead? Perhaps, Gilda Byrne was even in cahoots with Aunt Judith.

  So, X is already well! Even Hugh said so. That's why he has the nerve to talk to me again. But he doesn't look alright! Well, he looked alright after I — He can only be pretending to be sick to throw out suspicion away from his Aunt…Jonah's mind went crazy as one wild idea came after another. She closed her eyes as if it was the only way to shut her thoughts off.

  However, it went even wilder as she clearly saw Rebecca reaching out to her, saying, "I've come to get back what is mine."

  Jonah immediately opened her eyes. She turned on her side. With her back to Jane, she moved closer to her sister. She whispered nervously, "Jane, why don't we bury your mother even without her brain?"

  "That's a crazy thought, Jonah!" Jane answered sleepily. Both Jane and Jonah turned to face each other. Jane eyed her younger sister and began, "Speaking of that boy—"

  "Please, Jane, I don't want to discuss him now!" Jonah said. An idea came to her mind, "Is there ever a man for you?" she asked Jane. She had never seen her sister with any man before while she was growing up.

  "There was," Jane confided, blushing to the roots of her hair. "But the typical story of your mother not approving of him. I just had to let him go. That's why I sometimes envy Jemmah— for her guts. But look how she ended up? Your mother knew best."

  "Your mother's gone now, Jane. It is not too late to fall in love," Jonah said.

  "No, it is not, is it?" Jane chuckled and turned on her back once again. "My sisters have become my family, Jonah."

  "A man can give you what we can't," Jonah replied.

  "Yes, of course! Perhaps, I should go out on dates," Jane said sounding amused. "After your mother has been settled. Maybe you're right after all. Let's just bury her even without her brain."

  Jonah felt cold air creeping at her back. She turned and had her back on Jane again. Her attention went to her hand. She was half-expecting it would itch. In all the stress and excitement over the few days, Jonah had noticed that the itch on her fingers was almost ignorable. She had been accustomed to wrapping her fingers every night with a bandage just in case her attacks started again but has forgotten to do it that night.

  Without getting up from her side of the bed, Jonah stretched her arm and rummaged blindly through the top drawer of Jane's bedside table for the bandage. Her fingertip touched what seemed like a cold, hard object. In a few moments, she saw what looked like small bits of glowing paper in various colors coming out of the drawer.

  "It's beautiful!" Jonah whispered.

  Then, Jonah heard her own voice in her head saying, "The breath of happiness and its opposite create what has been uncreated."

  What does it mean? Jonah reflected. She wasn't thinking about happiness at all. It was so queer that the subject occupied her thoughts. Perhaps, it has something to do with how I am feeling about seeing Xavier again.

  Jonah sat straight up on the bed. Looking closer, the glowing colors were not made of paper at all. They were light in different shades and they where fading fast. She peered through the drawer where the little confetti-like things were coming from and saw what her fingertip touched. It was ancient little trinkets tied to a chain.

  The habak… Jonah gasped. Rebecca's missing habak.

  "What are you doing now?" Jane asked without looking back, stifling a yawn.

  "Huh?" Jonah said sounding confused. "I forgot about my hands." She looked closer. And indeed, it was the habak her mother had always worn around her waist.

  "Did you find it?" Jane asked. She sat upright.

  Jonah and Jane caught each other's eyes. An understanding passed between the two of them about the missing habak.

  "You found the habak Aunt Judith was talking about," It was Jonah who first broke the silent interval.

  "Yeah," Jane answered nonchalantly and went to lie back in bed. "I was cleaning and found it under your mother's bed. I don't know how Aunt Judith could have missed it."

  "Why didn't you tell her you have it?" Jonah inquired.

  "Jonah, can't you see it? It's broken," Jane quipped. She stood up from the bed and walked to the table. She scooped up the habak and showed it to Jonah. Almost half a meter long, there were only a few little trinkets dangling from the chain."Aunt Judith will make a big fuss out of it. And I won't hear the end of it if I told her I found the habak but it's broken. If you like, you can do the honors of giving it back to her."

  "No way!" Jonah exclaimed a little bit too loudly.

  "So, what shall we do about it then?" Jane uttered.

  "We can give it back if the new healer or if the other half of it has been found," Jonah suggested. "Then, it won't matter anymore if it's broken or not."

  "It's our little secret, then!" Jane said and both of them shook on their little pinky.

  Just then, there was a knock on the door and it opened even without Jane inviting whoever was outside of it. And Jervais' head suddenly projected on the open doorway.r />
  "I heard the ruckus from my room," Jervais said and entered the room. "What are you two up to here?"

  "Ruckus?" Jane demanded. She hastily stashed the habak back inside the drawer and closed it firmly behind her before she jumped back on her bed."What are you talking about?"

  "You didn't hear it? It sounded like a party of some sort. Music. People's voices chattering away." Jervais told them and sat down on the edge of the bed.

  "Must be the neighbors!" Jonah offered.

  "Jonah, neighbors?" Jervais jeered. "Our neighbors are miles away. We are practically in the middle of nowhere. I know what I heard. And I heard what seemed like a festivity coming from this room."

  "Oh, come on, Jervais," Jonah argued. "You were probably just dreaming. If there was loud music and people talking and partying, don't you think Aunt Judith won't be the first one up here to demand that they get out?"

  "Well, I won't be surprised if she's up and about on her way up here!" Jervais declared, rubbing her eyes. "Besides, I wasn't asleep yet. I couldn't sleep. I was feeling so restless. It felt like someone was watching me or something."

  "I feel the same way when I am in that room," Jonah divulged. "Your mother's room is next to it after all,"

  "Don't tell me, the two of you will be flocking here?" Jane said, laughing out loud.

  "Oh, come on, Jane—" Jervais said. "Jonah's the baby not me. Besides, I don't believe in such nonsense, you know."

  There was another series of knocking on the door and the three of them leaped instantly. This time, the pounding was louder, harder and more urgent.

  It was Aunt Judith. She looked like she had carelessly put on her night robe in haste as the fastenings seemed a little lopsided and the buttons were not tucked in place.

  Jane, Jervais and Jonah had bolted up on their feet and unconsciously lined up. Aunt Judith scrutinized each of the three girls' faces without speaking. Her eyes also swept through the room as if expecting to find something else of importance there. Then, her eyes fixed on Jane, who was evidently squirming.