Me Without You

by Rona Go

  "I don't even know how to tell you without sounding crazy. But you know I will see him again. And I doubt it I can even control me not to."

  Jervais's shoulders sagged and her brows were almost connected in one crooked line in frustration. She uttered slowly, "Then, you leave me no choice but to let the others intervene about this—"

  "No! Please, let me gather my thoughts and try to piece everything together and then perhaps. I can find words to explain myself better to you and to others. Just trust me on this one, Jervais," Jonah begged.

  If Jonah's whole family became involved in her love story, there was no telling if the whole Lively clan would not match up their own energy. It could mean a bigger drift for both families. And the wounds of the past especially the ones shared by Rebecca, her Aunt Judith and Xavier's Aunt Gilda will resurface.

  "Tell me what's on your mind, Jonah. If that guy has his back-up, you may need one too," Jervais urged. Although her look registered nothing but skepticism, deep within her, Jervais considered that Jonah could be on to something important.

  "First I have to meet X again later," Jonah said and smiled slyly.

  "No way!" Jervais interjected loudly.

  "How else can I gather the info about things?" Jonah insisted.

  "Oh, Jonah—" Jervais warned, "If this is something I already know in the first place—like telling me you are nuts about him— you won't hear the end of it from me."

  Jonah stared at her sister long and hard before blurting out, "This is about the new healer, Jervais. Don't tell me you know this already?"

  "Don't tell me that guy knows who the new healer is," Jervais inquired looking shocked.

  "I think that his Aunt Gilda is the new healer. And I think X can help me find out," Jonah answered.

  "I think you're not really into this because of the healer," Jervais said. "You're in it because of the kissing."

  "I am too!" Jonah replied rather too quickly. But she blushed and admitted to the truth, "Well, the kissing part is a topmost priority. But discovering who the real healer is also just as important for me."

  "Humor me, Jonah!" Jervais said. "Most eighteen-year-olds—and you are definitely not an exception— don't give a damn about having the power to heal the world or having immortality. More often than not, this age bracket even think of killing themselves because life becomes a bit unfair at this stage. I even know of someone who would welcome a tsunami with open arms just to end life's misery. Even Brice mentioned last night how his life seemed monotonous and without a purpose. I should know because I have contemplated a lot of times about death rather than living forever. You see—"

  "Oh, come on, Jervais," Jonah said, reaching out for Jervais' hand and squeezing it lovingly. "Please don't say that!"

  "The thing is—only the likes of your mother, Aunt Judith and that guy's Aunt would be interested in living forever because they see death around the bend. Besides look at your mother and Aunt Judith—they looked like life had robbed them off something. Your mother didn't even know how to love us. You can just imagine how many kids she had had in her lifetime. Each of us has become part and parcel of a miserable pattern in her motherhood. And that guy's Aunt, she doesn't even go out of her fortress. I bet she had had enough sunlight in her lifetime to last her forever. Those bunch are unhappy people." Jervais continued. "Come to think of it, do you ask yourself about death? If you want to live forever? It is not a regular subject of discussion, you know. Who would kill somebody to be cursed with forever? Who wants to live forever? I think it is stupid for Aunt Judith to assume that the power of the healer is most coveted."

  "Jervais, we can say that because death seemed like a distant reality for us. But what about X? He is sick. Although, we don't really know what he's going through. I mean, I don't have any idea what kind of reality death is for him. But I would presume he is one of those who would value life more because it will soon be taken away from him. For someone whose death has been marked, I bet another day is like forever." Jonah said. The room began to swirl around her as tears were dangerously hanging by the brim of her eyes. She wiped them off before they fell on her cheeks." I bet those who love him dearly will willingly kill somebody to be cursed or offer their own lives, if they can give X another day."

  "If you say it that way, then I am in. We are now the Bloody-Duo," Jervais announced, grinning. She embraced Jonah comfortingly.

  Jonah hugged Jervais back happily. Finally, she felt bold because somebody will be with her through her plight. Even if Jervais perhaps did not really get it, having her around to talk to was everything Jonah could ask for.

  Then Jervais released Jonah and said, "So what's your plan?"

  "Well, I was planning to lure X into telling me if his Aunt is the new healer," Jonah said.

  "Wow!" Jervais whistled. "That's a sophisticated and secret-agenty type of a plan. Why don't you just tell me you are going to ask that guy directly if his Aunt killed your mother?"

  Jonah giggled. "Okay, fine—so I don't have a grand plan! Not yet anyway!"

  "Will you live forever for X, Jonah?" Jervais questioned. The Bloody duo just looked at each other silently, both absorbed in their own line of reasoning.

  Chapter 21

  The New Healer

  Actually, it was Gilda who instructed Hugh to meet Jonah when she learned Xavier was seeing her. Gilda had cunningly maneuvered Xavier and his mom to meet a healing monk from Tibet.

  Gilda presumed Hugh will be able to persuade Jonah to tell him anything she knew about the new healer than Xavier would.

  "Our dear boy Xavier is in love with the girl. I think our dear boy Xavier knows something which he is not telling me. He is probably protecting the girl. If that is not the case, then he is just too smitten by her to concentrate on finding out information about the new healer. His so-called love will castrate him off his sensibility." Gilda told Hugh. "You, on the other hand, are just starting out. Whatever it is, you need to have it nip in the bud."

  But here I am…and my own senses wouldn't cooperate…Damn! If I had my own way, I wouldn't be here…Hugh thought. Well, it was the more logical part of him reasoning he would want to be somewhere else. But the better side of him, whatever it was, was secretly glad he was waiting for Jonah.

  It looked as if Hugh was always waiting for her ever since the day he met her—waiting for her to wake up from dozing on his front porch steps, waiting for her to arrive at their designated meeting places and waiting for her to notice him.

  It had been long since he last saw her alone. If it hadn't been for the lame excuse he made up about a program that will qualify him for a coveted internship in medical school, which she naively accepted, then he would still be seeing Jonah and feeding her information about Xavier.

  In truth though, he was too scared to get even closer to her…because the more Xavier got better everyday, the more he was helpless to fight off his true feelings for Jonah. For some reason, he felt like betraying Xavier.

  Although Hugh understood pretty well why Xavier had to leaver her without a word when he learned he was sick, and in fact if he were in the same situation, he would have done the same thing there was not enough excuse why Jonah had to be hurt that way.

  A soft tap on his shoulder made him turned around."Hi," Jonah's voice cut off from behind him.

  There she was. Jonah was smiling and looking at Hugh excitedly. He quickly stood up and escorted her outside as she made a hasty and awkward genuflect down the aisle.

  "I can't believe it's you," Jonah said when they were outside the Church. She stood on her toes and reached out for him in a big hug."I didn't get much time to talk to you at the pond."

  "It's okay!" Hugh said delightedly, returning her embrace and not letting go off his hands on her waist long after she had ended the hug.

  "So, what are—" Jonah said obviously trying to divert the awkward moment.

  "X sent me," he answered, welcoming the change of the subject matter, and tucking his hands to himself. "Mom brou
ght X to an alternative healing session. He wasn’t sure how long the thing will take, so he sent me to tell you—"

  Excuse…another well-fabricated excuse. Hugh thought.

  "It's okay!" Jonah said and flashed Hugh another smile.

  "So, how are you two?" Hugh asked before he could stop himself.

  "Actually, I came here to tell him it doesn't seem to be working anymore. I don't know but things are a little different now."

  "Jonah, please," Hugh said. "You can't do this to X! X is getting better. Isn't this what you want back then? Didn't you hurt for this? You pined for this moment, remember? When all things were back to normal—"

  "It's weird, Hugh! I mean you've seen me throw myself all over him before. And now that I have what I want, things seemed to be difficult," Jonah told him."I know it's crazy!" she added laughingly. "But it can never go back to the way it was. I don't know what's missing. It's not easy."

  "Perhaps, you're not given time to be on your own just like before. Whenever you see each other these days, you were always interrupted. Sneak out in the balcony again." Hugh advised. Although, he felt strangely uneasy about telling her.

  "But I don't even see X and me alone anymore," Jonah replied sadly.

  "It's easy when you don't think of those moments when you momentarily parted," Hugh reasoned. "Try to forget and move on from there."

  "I—" Jonah began to say. Then, she took a step towards the back of the Church.

  Hugh fell in step with her and moved along in the same direction Jonah was taking. He prodded, "Come on, Jonah—just give X another chance. He may not—"

  "Oh, Hugh—don't do this to me. I don't want to run back to him because of anything other than I really want to run back to him. Things are very complicated now." Jonah answered and playfully swatted his arm.

  "Then just go running back to him, plain and simple," Hugh said. "Not because—"

  Wow, where did that come from? A small, nagging voice inside of Hugh asked. Surely, there was so much conviction for a lie. And it all seemed right. And the truth—when the truth was, Hugh wanted to say—Well, I am here…Look at me. Let's work things out between us. And yet, the truth, at the moment, seemed wrong.

  Just a few feet away, Hugh saw her parked car. He stopped walking and took her hand. Hugh examined them. "It's all healing now," he said taking note of the dry skin from what could have been the rashes.

  "My skin asthma. How do you know I have them?" Jonah said and grabbed her hand away from Hugh feeling self-conscious about it. She had the dumbest urge to explain to him that she had seen a dermatologist about it and it wasn't contagious at all.

  "Surely, there's more stuff that are healing as well," Hugh said.

  "That was wonderful—did you feel it?" Jonah asked.

  "What?" Hugh asked looking at her bemused. Did she feel it too? Hugh felt a warm, tingling sensation ran through his arms to the rest of his body. And yes it felt wonderful…and sensual. Other than that, he did not feel anything anymore.

  "I think you did something to my hands…some woo-hoo stuff," Jonah told him.

  Hugh laughed. "What stuff?"

  "Never mind!" Jonah said. For a moment, Hugh saw an odd expression on Jonah's face. But it was gone all of a sudden and was replaced with a smile.

  "Close your eyes and give me back your hand," Hugh directed. He groped for the habak in his pocket and took it out.

  Jonah placed her hand on top of Hugh's hand with her palm facing up. However, she didn’t close her eyes and continued to watch Hugh expectantly. "We will be staying her until tomorrow if you expect me to close my eyes," she uttered.

  With his free fist tightly closed around the habak, Hugh placed it on top of her palm and dramatically let go off the jewelry. He waited for her response anxiously.

  Jonah looked at the habak on her hand and took a sharp intake of breath. It was the exact replica of the stolen habak Jane was keeping, only it was not broken at all. The ancient little trinkets hanging around the chain were the exact copy. Although, she couldn't be sure about the markings on each of the trinkets.

  Expecting to see the little glowing lights Jonah had seen when she touched the broken one in Jane's bedroom, she was quite surprised when nothing came. However, in just a few seconds, there was the strong punch-like sensation in the middle of her stomach which threw her on the ground in both knees, pale and blue, gasping for breath and palpitating loudly.

  Then, Jonah had the strange knowing that something terrible happened or will happen, even if she didn't quite know what it was. And just as she feared, dark and shadowy-like material started appearing out of nowhere from both her sides, almost covering the periphery except for the view in front of her.

  The smite… Hugh was already down on his knees when Jonah fell forward and was holding on to steady her. He quickly recognized the frightening thing which appeared out of nowhere from the corner of his eyes, heading quickly towards Jonah.

  Jonah's head slumped to Hugh's chest but he could feel she had not lost consciousness. Hugh was ready to pick her up and ask for assistance from the people inside the Church's office, when Xavier arrived.

  Xavier was panting heavily when he came to the scene. He pulled his mask down to his chest and said gruffly, "What happened?"

  "I gave her the habak," Hugh answered. He took Jonah's hand which was still holding on to the jewelry. He took it back from her and placed it on his shirt pocket. He held Jonah by the shoulder and gently moved her towards Xavier.

  "What are you doing?" Xavier asked frantically.

  "I'll go get water from the car," Hugh explained.

  "She weakens when she's around me," Xavier said and stood up. "I'll get the water. Hold on to her!"

  Hugh changed into a comfortable sitting position and moved Jonah to sit on the ground as well. They were seated side-by-side with her head still on his chest. He combed through her hair and muttered, "What's wrong with your boyfriend? Refusing the chance to hold you this way because you weaken by his side. You just collapsed in front of me and I cannot not take advantage of you."

  Jonah smiled despite of herself. Slowly, the breathing was coming with ease. The beating of her heart was also abating back to its regular rhythm.

  Seeing that the dark, smoky thing was also vanishing little by little, Hugh continued, "I think you're right. You should break things off with the guy. He is so—can't think of the right word when we are seated this way."

  "Lame?" Jonah chimed in weakly.

  "No," Hugh said and chuckled. "Worse!"

  By that time, Jonah was already laughing at Hugh and feeling a little better.

  Just then, Xavier arrived with a bottle of water. He got on his knees, opened the cap and helped Jonah for a sip. He squatted on the ground and watched Jonah with concern. "How are you feeling?"

  Jonah was able to sit upright. She took the bottled water from Xavier's hand and drank more of it. Then, she uttered, "I'm fine now!"

  "She's the one, huh?" Xavier asked Hugh.

  "I think so," Hugh answered. "You saw how she reacted to it. I'd say she's the one."

  "I don't think we should tell anybody," Xavier continued speaking to Hugh.

  "Wait a minute you two," Jonah interrupted. "You talk as if I am not around at all. Is this how you guys talk about girls behind their backs—in front of them?"

  "You won't understand," Hugh said.

  "What? That the habak could belong to my mother? That it has some kind of an effect on me? That I could be—" Jonah's eyes grew large when it dawned on her that Hugh and Xavier were also searching for the new healer and they suspected she was the one. "The new healer?" she finished off.

  "So you know, huh?" Xavier asked sheepishly.

  "My sister has in her possession half of the habak which looks exactly like this until it was stolen last night," Jonah explained. "And yes, my family is searching for the next healer after my mother was murdered."

  "This must be the half of it," Hugh said. "I had a jeweler fixed the bro
ken one so that we can give it to you."

  "You said you are searching for the new healer, too?" Xavier asked.

  "I thought it could be your Aunt Gilda," Jonah blurted out bluntly. "Jane said she was the last person our mother saw before she died."

  "Aunt Gilda was the one who instructed us to observe how you are going to react with the habak so that we will know who the new healer is. She doesn't know. It can't be her," Xavier said.

  "It can't be me either," Jonah said vehemently. "I swear I didn't kill Rebecca Blood!"

  "But the habak had an effect on you," Hugh insisted. "There must be another way how the power was passed on to you. It can be because you are the seventh child or something."

  "We will have to ask Aunt Gilda or your Aunt about it," Xavier said. "They're both healers!"

  "No!" Jonah and Hugh replied together emphatically.

  "Why not?" Xavier demanded.

  "Healers think differently!" Hugh told them. And the three of them sensed something cold, heavy and threatening in the air.

  Chapter 22

  Jervais' Sacrifice

  "I can't be the new healer," Jonah said. Xavier and Hugh were escorting her back to her car. She stopped walking and stared at Xavier directly in his eyes. "Don't you believe me at all?"

  Xavier grinned mischievously, "Don't give me that look! Of course I believe that you don't have anything to do with your mother's death. But I can see the signs and they are screaming loudly at you."

  Jonah had specifically parked at the back of the Church where there was another exit route leading to a backstreet. That way she didn't have to leave the place from where she entered in case anybody, like Jervais decided to follow her.

  "Jervais," Jonah cried out excitedly. "The other half of the habak had an effect on her, too. Jervais heard something the other night and the habak caused it. Even Aunt Judith heard it too. It is possible that Jervais is the new healer as well."

  "Well, we certainly can find out about it," Hugh said. "But you have to be careful. Nobody apart from us has to know that you are the new healer. We just can't trust anybody."