Me Without You

by Rona Go

  After the service, Jane had invited the people to have tea at the mansion. Everybody was dawdling across the room conversing, paying the Blood family members their respect and having tea and Jane's little goodies.

  The urn that carried Brice's ashes was placed in a tall table that was beautifully adorned with white African violets which Brice, himself, grew in his apartment. There was also a recent photograph of Brice with his pouting lips and a smile that was about to burst any moment.

  Jonah broke out from the crowd and went nearer the urn. She was carrying the black scarf with her ever since the service. She neatly placed the scarf near the urn and ran a finger to outline Brice's face in the photograph.

  "Hey," a voice said from behind Jonah. "How are you holding up?"

  Jonah turned around and saw Jervais. Jonah felt funny because it was the first time a sibling spoke to her ever since Brice's death.

  "Okay," Jonah said.

  "About what happened—" Jervais started to say.

  But Jonah cut her off and replied, "I don't want to talk about it, Jervais!" Then, she turned around to walk away.

  Jervais stopped her by the arm and said, "I'm sorry! Not for what I did. But that it hurt you."

  Jonah jerked away from Jervais and moved towards the direction of the door where she saw Xavier and Hugh entering.

  "Hey!" Xavier said, meeting her.

  Hugh just nodded his head in Jonah's direction. Then, he scanned the room uncomfortably, until his gaze fell on Brice's urn. Then, as if sensing trouble, he muttered between his breath, "Uh-oh!"

  Both Jonah and Xavier turned to Jane who was scurrying in their direction. But Hugh stepped in front of both of them and met Jane before she could approach Jonah and Xavier.

  In a louder than usual voice, Hugh said, "Ms. Jane, what a lovely speech you did during the service! I was totally moved." Hearing this, a few people had turned their attention to Jane.

  Although, Jane had a half-frozen smile on her face with her eyes still on Xavier and Jonah, she politely returned the compliment, "Thank you, er—are you a friend of Brice?"

  Before Xavier and Jonah could hear Hugh's reply, they walked towards the door and exited the mansion, without being noticed. As if in agreement, their feet carried them towards the woods…to their pond.

  Hugh was only able to escape Jane's interrogation when Jervais joined them and pulled Jane towards another group of people, introducing her to some of Brice's friends and colleagues.

  Thinking that Xavier used the car to take Jonah somewhere, Hugh's closest guess would be the Church, he rounded the back towards the pond to find an easier route home.

  Meanwhile, Jonah and Xavier found an empty spot near the pond. They sat and continued not to speak to each other. The day was brighter and hotter than usual. And it did not help that they were both wearing uncomfortable clothes.

  Xavier took off his jacket and his tie. He ran a hand through his head, wiping the perspiration away. He wasn't wearing a bonnet. Thin hair had already started growing and forming a shadow like a second skin to his scalp. Then, he unbuttoned his shirt down to his chest. When he moved, Jonah was able to glimpse the gadget on his chest.

  "Does it hurt?" Jonah asked, caressing her own chest.

  "You mean my Port-a-Cath?" Xavier replied. "It's more uncomfortable in my head. If I don't think about it, I don't even feel it."

  Jonah looked away from Xavier and saw the biggest tree just a few feet away from her. She remembered Hugh doing something funny to the tree when they used to meet by the pond to give her information about Xavier's progress. She smiled a bit.

  Jonah stood up and went to do what Hugh did to the tree. Although, it took about three people to really cover the whole trunk of the tree, Jonah encircled her arms around it. She leaned her ear closer to the trunk and listened. She can hear laughter coming from the inside of the tree. She withdrew a bit and listened again. She heard nothing. She leaned once more and heard the laughter again. And when she closed her eyes, she saw different faces, among them was Hugh. Then, she sensed safety and love. It was like belonging. She had felt nothing like it before.

  "What are you doing?" Xavier called out, interrupting Jonah. He only knew of one person who would do such a silly thing. He had watched Hugh once or twice clinging to a tree and listening to it, claiming he can hear it whisper its secrets.

  Jonah opened her eyes. Embarrassed to have been caught in what looked like an odd behavior, she said, "Well, Hugh once told me about—"

  "The secret of the trees," Xavier finished for Jonah.

  Jonah brushed herself off and went back to where Xavier was seated. She plopped herself down beside him."How did you feel when you first found out?" Jonah asked.

  Xavier followed Jonah's gaze and settled on the tree. He looked like he was in deep thought and hadn't heard her. Then, in a grave tone, he said, "First, I was afraid. I was petrified—"

  "Oh, shut up, X!" Jonah said and laughed.

  Xavier resumed pokerfaced and began to hum the tune of Diana Ross' famous song, I Will Survive. Then, his face broke into a beautiful grin, until he could no longer hold it and laughed along with her.

  Jonah and Xavier guffawed until they were rolling on the ground and tears were streaming down their cheeks. The laughter died down but the tears continued to flow effortlessly. They were both lying on their backs, watering the blood-red earth with their tears.

  And when Jonah rolled to her side and pinned her ear on the ground the way she recalled Hugh did, the earth also whispered its secrets to her. Unlike the secret of the tree, the earth brought nothing but anguish—the kind of sadness known only to loss through death. As she closed her eyes to listen some more, she saw various, nameless faces flashed through her, among them, she recognized the familiar and smiling face of Brice. She curled up and kept on letting the tears flow.

  Xavier wailed even louder. Then, he wailed some more. It sounded like an overly exaggerated weeping. He built up the blown-out wailing some more until it sounded funny and fake. Then, he burst out laughing again.

  Jonah imitated Xavier and cried loudly and dramatically. In less than a minute, she was also laughing again.

  Xavier sniffed loudly and sat up. He wiped his face off. In a more controlled voice, he began opening up towards Jonah. He said, "How should one feel if he was told he had a terrible disease? I did not think about it. I did not feel it. I was numb. Each day, I grew number. Until I could not feel a thing anymore. Not even death affects me. It is worth than dying itself, don't you think? Then, one day, there was you and you brought something back. I felt it when you touched me. You gave me joy. Now, I fear death. I fear going away and not being with you."

  Jonah also sat up and put her arms around Xavier. She looked up and met his tearful eyes. She bent near him as he lowered his head and both their lips locked in a kiss.

  It did not take long before Jonah felt the hard punch in her stomach and she became limp. Xavier must have sensed it too because he pulled away gently.

  "I'm sorry," Jonah uttered weakly.

  "I know. I can feel it," Xavier said. "The first time you touched me, I felt like I have taken something from you and it is making me strong. I figured the effect on you is the other way around."

  "Don't you think it's funny? It's like having an irritable bowel syndrome," Jonah said and chuckled.

  "Gosh, I never imagined I will have that kind of effect on a woman before," Xavier replied and joined Jonah laughing out loud.

  "Is that why you think I am the new healer?" Jonah asked when she had composed herself again.

  "Yes," Xavier replied. "Jervais said something about sealing it—"

  "Aunt Judith said the new healer has a year and fortnight after our mother's death to complete her phase to become truly powerful but she has to seal it by giving life to a dying one," Jonah told Xavier. She had the vision of Xavier at his healthiest state and her strength was coming back little by little.

  "And then, what happens?" Xavier asked.
>
  "I guess she becomes a full-pledge healer—powerful and immortal," Jonah answered.

  "Do you want it?" Xavier asked.

  Jonah ran her knuckles lightly through Xavier's face. "I would want it for you," she told him.

  "But I will have to die sometime. And you— you won't die," Xavier replied. "You will live all over again and again and again, forever. Then, we will never be together after this lifetime. I want us to be together for eternity. Beyond death."

  "But I can't lose you—what five years from now? Ten years from now? That is too short a time to be together," Jonah said.

  "Two years or shorter," Xavier said. "I know. But if we both believe that death is not the end of it all—then we will be together someday— forever."

  Jonah did not give Xavier an answer. Instead, she lay back on the ground and put her ear closer to the earth. Tears were again cascading down her cheeks.

  From a far, Hugh had an uninterrupted view of Jonah and Xavier. He touched the ground with his bare hand and tears began forming in his eyes. He did not only hear the anguish of death. He also captured the pain of Jonah's heart. He had never felt closer to her before than he did at the moment even from a distance.

  Chapter 26

  The Poisoned Blood

  The guests were all gone when Jonah arrived from her walk with Xavier. And even Jane, Jervais and the rest of the family members were nowhere to be seen.

  The whole mansion was flooded with lights. Everything was already in order. The table where the urn of Brice's ashes was placed had become a miniature altar. Aside from the white African violets, the scarf that Jonah had placed earlier and Brice's photograph, more flowers in hues of violets and blues were embellished around it.

  "Hello!" Jonah called out. Her voice was wavering in a rumble with the emptiness of the place.

  "Do you need anything, Ma'am?" It was Mara, the house help, who appeared from the doorway, carrying with her a tray.

  "Where is everybody?" Jonah asked.

  "Ma'am Judith is in her room. Ma'am Jervais, Jenseen and Jerone left together. Ma'am Jane is in her room as well," Mara said. "Would you like me to prepare dinner?"

  "No, thank you!" Jonah answered, thinking she did not want to eat her dinner alone. "I'll eat with Jane later."

  "Ma'am Jane had asked me to bring hers to her room in a while," Mara said.

  "Make that two, Mara!" Jonah told her.

  Jonah immediately went to her room to change her clothes. Then, she was in Jane's room, knocking at her door. Without waiting for an answer, Jonah peeked in.

  Jonah saw Jane packing her things. There was a large suitcase on the bed and Jane was stashing her clothes by colors. Jane had finished all the violets and was starting on the blues.

  "Jane, what's the meaning of this?" Jonah asked. She sat on the bed with a thump and the suitcase jumped an inch with her.

  "Be careful, Jonah—" Jane said. "I don't have time to redo this. And you know me, I want it neat and orderly."

  "Where are you going, Jane?" Jonah asked.

  "God, Jonah," Jane said nervously. "I can't stay here anymore. After what happened to Brice, I don't think I will be able to sleep peacefully in this house." She went to her closet and took out more of her blue blouses and folded them perfectly.

  "What are you talking about?" Jonah said.

  Jane stopped what she was doing and sat on the bed, until she was face-to-face with Jonah. "The police are ruling out suicide. It was a foul play. They think Brice was either pushed or he was forced to jump out of the window. Nothing other than his laptop was taken," Jane said.

  "What could be in his laptop that was so important for it to be taken?" Jonah asked.

  "I don't know," Jane said. "What I know is that this has something to do with the healer thing. We are being hunted one by one. They won't stop unless we are all dead. And it is scaring me a lot. If only we know something about the new healer—"

  "What good will that do?" Jonah said. "Even if we know who the new healer is, will it spare the rest of us who are not healers?"

  "Don't you get it? Aunt Judith said the healer's got immense power bestowed upon her. Each one of us became easy targets because the healer is deemed to be vulnerable at this time. But once she seals it and the power is finally hers, these people—whoever they are—will finally leave the rest of us alone. Think about it, does your mother face this kind of harassment ever? People are scared shit of her." Jane said.

  "But where will you go?" Jonah said.

  Jane stood up and went back to her closet. She came out with a pile of blue shirts. "I honestly don't know!" Jane uttered. She paused and looked around her room. "I have been in this house all my life. And I thought, I would be spending the rest of my life here. I could not think of any world aside from here. But this is not a safe place anymore."

  "Jane," Jonah said in a low murmur. She wasn't even sure Jane heard her. However, she felt timid about it. She knew that she was not Jane's responsibility. After all, she had come of age. But she didn't know how to be on her own. Like Jane, she never imagined any other world aside from that which was familiar to her."What about me?"

  Jane dropped the pile of shirts carelessly on top of the others and went to Jonah. She reached out for Jonah and hugged her. "Oh, you poor thing! Do you think I was going to leave you here?" She stroked Jonah's hair and bent down to kiss her soundly on the forehead. "Of course, you are coming with me, aren't you?"

  Jonah felt a sinking feeling in her stomach. She wanted to be with Jane but she also did not want them to leave.

  "Jane, let us stay," Jonah replied. "We need to be together now of all time. We are stronger together as a family—"

  Jane tilted Jonah's face so she could meet her gaze, "We were never a family, Jonah. You and me, yes. Sometimes, you and Jervais. Other times. you, Jervais and Brice. But as a whole, we only shared the same blood running through our veins. But this blood is poisoned. That's why we are not a family." She stood up and continued her packing silently.

  * * * * *

  In the meantime, Xavier was amazed that he had made it to his house. Right after he took Jonah home, he had to drive himself all the way to his own home with the sudden attack of chills which only stopped for almost ten minutes and start all over again. He couldn't even remember if he had closed the car door behind him as he rushed to his room and wrapped himself in a thick blanket as the chills started again. It was all too sudden.

  Helen Lively was in a panic mode when she heard Xavier had returned home. She was the very first person Xavier had run into on his way up to his room. By the looks of Xavier, Helen automatically knew something was wrong.

  Fortunately, Dr. Lively was at home and he was immediately by their side taking Xavier's temperature which had gone up pretty fast.

  Gilda was also there. She was sitting beside Xavier on his bed and running her hands a few inches above his outline.

  Just then, Hugh arrived. He immediately knew that Xavier was not alright.

  "We need to get you to the hospital, X," Dr. Lively announced.

  "No," Xavier said stubbornly. His chin pointed upward in a determined way. "I will never set foot in a hospital if I can help it. You will have to drag me kicking and fighting all the way there if you are going to force me which will only make things worse for all of us."

  "I don't have what's necessary to check on you to see what's wrong," Dr. Lively said gently. "Son, for all we know, you may have a sepsis or malaria. We can't be sure."

  "Don't you get it? This is because of my poisoned blood and nothing more. But the more I try to heal myself, the worse I get. I need to give it up and try to live. I am still alive—NOW!" Xavier said.

  "Okay, fine—we will have it your way," Dr. Lively said. His voice was still as kindly as possible. "But we will need help. I will call Dr. Moore."

  "No!" Xavier said vehemently. He sat up and wrapped his hands on both his legs. He was trembling once again. He could barely keep his mouth shut as his teeth were chat
tering against each other. At the same time, cold sweat was flowing non-stop through his face. After some time, the tremors had stopped.

  Helen was handy with a towel and a glass of water. She wiped Xavier's face and changed his wet clothes with her own quivering hand. Then, she let Xavier drink water from the glass.

  "God, X!" Dr. Lively said out loud in frustration. "Why won't you allow us to do what we were meant to do?"

  Helen approached her husband and gently tugged at his arm to leave the room for a while. "Call Dr. Moore from the study, honey!" she whispered at him and he left.

  "My dear boy, Xavier," Gilda said. "Tell me the other healer you have entrusted yourself to. I do not have much effect on you anymore because another healer has touched you and you allowed yourself to be healed by her. Healing is eternal. It must not be stopped. She will give you relief now. Tell me who she is."

  "She?" Xavier asked. He lay on his bed weakly. "There's no one but Hugh. But I forbade him to touch me again because he becomes weak doing it."

  "But of course, my dear boy. If it was Hugh and he becomes weak—that's because he has not sealed it yet," Gilda replied and looked back at Hugh.

  "Seal it—what do you mean?" Hugh chimed in.

  "A new healer has to seal his fate by giving life to a dying one," Gilda said. "Unless he does this, he will be weak around sick people, until he himself gets sick and die."

  "And what happens if Hugh seals it, Aunt Gilda?" Xavier asked.

  "He will become a healer—powerful and immortal," Gilda answered matter-of-factly.

  Both Hugh and Xavier stared at each other momentarily. They were both thinking about Jonah. If she had become a healer, she needed to seal it too.

  It was the kind of information both Hugh and Xavier were not able to draw out from Fr. Ulysses. The only thing new they discovered from the priest was the other group of healers, who called themselves the Magdala, which also wanted the healer's blood to continue their lineage. Unlike the Andalusian hunters, the healers also want the new healer for a sacrifice. To preserve the lineage of the healers, the Magdala believed that eating a healer's flesh and drinking his blood will produce more of their kind. And they would want to sacrifice the greatest of them all to extract the strongest power possible.