Meant-to-Be Baby

by Lois Richer

  “When are you gonna open your gifts?” Garnet whispered in a loud voice. “I got you—”

  “Garnet,” his mother admonished.

  “Oops! I almost told you.” The boy grinned at Mikey. “Hey, how come you didn’t invite some kids from our Sunday school class?”

  “’Cause I ’vited you,” Mikey said. “An’ Unca Ben an’ Vic an’ Aunt Tillie an’ Aunt Margaret. I got lotsa people at my birthday, Garnet. No more would fit in my igloo.”

  That made everyone laugh. After the wiener roast and s’mores, they all trouped back to the house where Mikey carefully opened each gift and heaped lavish praise on the giver.

  “Boots?” he said when he’d torn the paper off a box Victoria had given him. “Unca Ben said winter’s just about over.”

  “These are hiking boots, honey. Now you and I can go tromping through the woods in any season and not get our feet wet, no matter if it’s winter or summer,” she explained, hoping Ben would notice her reference to the future. “And that orange vest is for you to wear so we can see you through the trees more easily.”

  “’Cause you know’d I really like walking in the woods, right, Vic?” Mikey thanked her with a tight hug and a kiss against her cheek. “An’ I like the game you gived me at breakfast this morning, too,” he whispered in her ear.

  “You’re welcome, sweetie.” She leaned back in her chair to watch as Mikey, having saved Unca Ben’s gift till last, used careful fingers to slip off the ribbon and the paper.

  “It’s a box,” he said as he lifted it up.

  “Don’t shake it,” Ben said quickly. He grinned at Mikey’s surprise. “You’ll see why when you open it. Go ahead.”

  “It’s a helachopper.” Mikey gaped at the small remote control.

  “Helicopter,” Ben quietly corrected. Victoria held her breath as an inexplicable expression filled the boy’s face. “It flies when you push the buttons on this little box. Do you like it?” The big man looked worried by Mikey’s silence.

  “I like it but I don’t think I c’n have it, Unca Ben. My mom—” Suddenly the boy began to sob as if his heart would break.

  “What’s wrong, Mikey?” Gathering the child into his arms, Ben sat down with Mikey on his knee. “You can tell me.”

  Victoria squeezed her fingers around the wooden arm of her chair, forcing herself to remain where she was, though she wanted to race to Mikey and embrace him as tightly as she could. But something inside of her said this moment could offer Ben a chance to prove to himself and Mikey that he could handle parenting.

  “What’s this about your mom, Mikey?” he murmured, his voice oozing tenderness.

  “When I asked my mommy for a helachopper before, she said I was too little. Now I’m bigger but my mommy can’t never give me one ’cause she’s gone to live in God’s house,” Mikey sobbed. “I don’t want God to have my mommy and daddy,” he wailed.

  “I want your mom and dad here, too,” Ben soothed as he brushed his hand against the boy’s back, his voice brimming with sadness.

  “You do?” Mikey blinked and straightened up to stare at him.

  “Sure. I loved your mom a lot, Mikey,” Ben brushed the flop of hair off the child’s forehead and pressed a kiss there. “She was very special. So was your daddy.” Ben didn’t seem to notice the audience listening. His total focus was on the boy.

  “Did you have a nice mommy, Unca Ben?” Mikey’s concern was obvious.

  “Oh, yes, but she went away a long time ago,” Ben said.

  “An’ now you get lonesome like me ’cause you don’t gots a mom no more.” Mikey nodded understandingly. “That hurts.”

  “It sure does. But when I came to visit, your mom always made me feel better. She had the best laugh. Do you remember it, Mikey? She’d start giggling and then before you knew it, she’d have tears rolling down her cheeks because she was laughing so hard.”

  “Yeah, an’ she’d bend over and hold her tummy like this.” Mikey demonstrated.

  “Exactly.” Ben smiled, obviously deep into his memories. “And then your dad would start making goofy faces and pretty soon we’d all be laughing.”

  Victoria watched in fascination as the big soldier gently elicited a host of reminiscences for Mikey that made him chuckle fondly as he recalled his family and their happy times together. She listened avidly to the conversation, feeling like bawling, but refusing to shed a single tear. Instead she swelled with pride as Ben used gentle humor to ease Mikey out of his sadness.

  “Your parents were goofy, Mikey,” he teased now.

  “I know. ’Member how Daddy used to lie on the floor on his tummy so he could get his crok’ole thing to shoot straight?” Mikey laughed out loud.

  “And it never worked, did it?” Was she the only one to notice that, for a second, a flicker of sadness darkened Ben’s eyes?

  “Nope. He’d shoot and it’d go ping and fly under the couch and he’d have to go huntin’ for it,” Mikey laughed.

  “Your dad sure loved to play crokinole,” Ben murmured.

  “An’ ’member how Mommy used to burn the toast?” Mikey was really getting into it now. “When she started singing, she forgot all about our toast.”

  “I don’t think I want to remember that toast, Mikey.” Ben’s very dry tone made the little boy laugh out loud.

  “That’s when Daddy gived me cereal.” Mikey studied him. “God was nice to give me such a good mommy an’ daddy, right, Unca Ben?”

  “He sure was. Very good. And that’s why I wanted to give you the helicopter for your birthday,” Ben explained. “Last year, your mom was right. You were too little. But this year you’re five. Much older. It says right on the box that five-year-olds can play with this helicopter so I know your mom would say it’s okay.”

  “But I dunno how it works,” Mikey said as he climbed off his uncle’s knee. His fingers slid into the older man’s. “C’n you show me?”

  “Sure I can.” Ben rose.

  “But Unca Ben, what if I crash it like Daddy’s crok’ole thing?” Mikey’s eyes grew huge.

  “You won’t. I’ll teach you and Garnet how to fly.” Ben smiled at Garnet’s squeal.

  “I didn’t know it’s Garnet’s birthday, too,” Mikey said in surprise.

  “Well, I don’t think it’s actually today,” Ben explained as he led the pair to the back door with everyone following. “But we can pretend it is. That way you can have fun flying together. It’s always more fun to do things with your friends.”

  “Yeah.” Mikey flung his arm around Garnet’s shoulders and grinned at him. “Wanna fly my helachopper?”

  “Yeah.” Garnet’s expression said that was a dumb question.

  “He won’t need to fly yours. Put your clothes on, boys. Terry, you coming?” Ben grinned at Garnet’s father before sliding a second helicopter box off a high shelf. “You and Garnet can use this one.”

  “I don’t know how much help I’ll be but I’m coming anyway,” Terry assured him.

  The aunts went to the window with Darla and Victoria close behind. Together they watched two little boys and two grown men play with one bright red and one bright green helachopper.

  “Ben and Mikey belong together. Mikey needs him to be his daddy.” Victoria couldn’t keep the words inside. “Why can’t Ben see that?”

  “They have a special bond, all right.” Darla hugged her as Mikey’s toy took a nosedive. “You and I need to do some heavy praying and ask God to open that man’s eyes so he won’t make a bigger mistake than either you or I have.”

  “We’ll all pray,” Aunt Margaret said. “Tillie, you lead.”

  *

  “How can a five-year-old’s birthday party be so exhausting when there were only two kids?” Ben stretched his legs toward the fire in the family room and smothered a yawn.

  “It was a great party.” Victoria studied him in that way that said she had something on her mind. Immediately his guard went up. “Ben, you can’t—”

  “Don’t. Ple
ase?” he sighed. “Not now. I can’t argue about leaving him now. I’m weak and vulnerable after all that reminiscing.”

  “I wasn’t going to argue,” she bristled. “I was going to compliment you on how you handled his grief. No natural father could have done better.”

  “Really?” A rush of pleasure surged inside. “Thank you. I felt like I was walking on eggshells the whole time, but I don’t want Mikey to forget about Alice and Neil. I want him to cherish those memories.”

  “But he will forget, Ben,” Victoria murmured. Her smoky gaze moved from the fire to meet his. “With no one to talk about his parents, Mikey is going to lose those precious memories.”

  “I know.” He bit his lip, feeling more helpless than he ever had before. He didn’t want to leave Mikey without any trace of his own family, didn’t want to give up his right to protect Neil’s son.

  Perhaps his success earlier with soothing Mikey was what made the crazy idea flickering in the depths of his subconscious seem plausible, even possible. Maybe he could be a real parent. Maybe Chokecherry Hollow could support a store like the one he wanted to open. It would certainly be a great town for a little boy to grow up in.

  And Victoria would be nearby. That was the biggest plus.

  He’d have to pray about it first, and then talk to Tillie and Margaret. Deep inside, he didn’t truly believe there was a way for him to be Mikey’s dad but—

  “There’s a letter for you, Ben.” Tillie held out an envelope with an official marking on it.

  “Thanks.” He tore it open, studied the contents and then grinned. “My leave has been extended until the first week of August.” Relief filled him. He could stay, check out possibilities for the future, do more calculations to see if the dream was achievable.

  And he could be here to help Victoria with the aunts’ retreat dream.

  “I’m so glad you’ll stay till then.” Victoria stood in front of him, her smile as wide as he’d ever seen it. Did that mean she was feeling even a fraction of the attraction he felt for her?

  “Not sure.” Then he frowned. “Maybe I should find another place. Mikey and I are a burden on you when you’re so busy.”

  “But it’s only a few more months,” she said, her frown evidencing how much she disliked the idea. “Weren’t you the one who protested about getting Mikey settled and then moving him?”

  “Yes,” he conceded. “But—”

  “Do I need to get Aunt Maggie on your case?” The way Victoria’s lips twitched told Ben she was joking and yet he felt nervous at the thought. “She can be very persuasive.”

  “Don’t I know it?” Ben grimaced at her reference to a certain senior who’d required several sessions before she could master transferring her pictures to her computer. But for Margaret’s persistence, he might have given up.

  “Seriously it’s much easier to work on their outreach program if you’re here than it would be if we had to travel back and forth to confer on things.” Victoria winked at him. “Speaking of which—I wonder if you’d look at this and tell me what you think.”

  He glanced at the sheet she’d retrieved from a drawer and saw a map of The Haven with various areas identified as possible activity areas.

  “Where and how did you manage to do this?” He couldn’t believe the work she’d put into it.

  “Aunt Margaret’s new computer came with a program that’s perfect for this.” As Victoria leaned over one shoulder to point out the changes she’d made since their last conversation, Ben caught the fresh scent of her shampoo—lemon, of course. It was so Victoria—tart with a zing that made you sit up and notice her. “I thought we might put up some type of rope-climbing apparatus for younger kids. We don’t know, after all, what age groups we’ll have.”

  “The arrangement of these spaces is very clever,” he said, trying to slow his racing pulse, which Victoria’s proximity always triggered. “How did you decide it?”

  “I found an original topographical map done for the federal government. I scanned it then put it into Aunt Margaret’s program.” She shrugged her narrow shoulders, covered in a pale gray angora sweater that reflected the exact shade of her eyes. “Once the hills and depressions were outlined, it was easy to figure out what should go where.”

  “Each is situated in easy reach of the main house and the cabins. It’s genius.” Ben studied it as thoroughly as he’d have studied a map of any area he was assigned to protect. “I think Jake and I should make some benches for a central rest space here and here,” he said pointing. “And maybe some picnic tables by where you indicate a campfire.”

  “Perfect.” Her smile was all the thanks he needed. “So if we have these eight areas selected, the next step would be to order the equipment to use in them. For once the aunts don’t have a contact, so I guess we’ll have to play it by ear.”

  “It just so happens I might know someone.” A rush of pleasure filled Ben. Maybe for once he’d be able to give back. “My old CO—commanding officer,” he clarified when her frown appeared. “He resigned from the service to take over his family’s company. Recreational equipment,” he elucidated.

  Victoria’s grin of appreciation was a sight to behold.

  “Another answered prayer,” she whispered. “I’m so glad you’re at The Haven, Ben. I would have had no idea how to move forward. In fact, I’ve been hesitating, waiting for God to show me. I guess He just did.”

  “I’ll give Marcus a call tomorrow and see what he suggests,” Ben promised. “If their company can’t do it, he’ll know who can.”

  “That’s going to help me sleep tonight,” she said and immediately yawned. “Sorry.”

  “I’ve been wanting to ask—how are you feeling these days?” Ben didn’t want to intrude but he had to know if there was something more he could do for her.

  “I think I’m beginning to return to normal,” she said with a chuckle. “At least I’m now only occasionally sick. I asked my doctor to transfer my files to Chokecherry Hollow’s medical clinic. I’ll go in a month or so, but I’m sure everything’s fine.”

  “You look good,” he said, mentally altering good to radiant. Victoria’s skin glowed with a luminescence that made her even more lovely than usual.

  “Thanks, Ben.” Her face flooded with pink. “Though having seen me at my worst, I think anything would be an improvement.”

  “When are you due, if you don’t mind telling me?”

  “Why would I mind?” She blinked in surprise. “September first, though I read first babies are often late in arriving.”

  “I read that, too.” Now Ben was the one whose face turned red. “I wanted to be prepared to help if you needed it so I bought a book,” he admitted, wondering if this was the time to give her the robe. No, not yet. “It’s fascinating.”

  Her face showed skepticism and uncertainty before she ducked her head to avoid his gaze.

  “Have you thought of names?” he asked, to change the subject.

  “Peter if it’s a boy.” Victoria’s eyes softened. “After Peter in the Bible. He was such a great disciple. Impetuous, maybe. But he was utterly devoted to his Lord. I love that he jumped out of the boat to walk with Jesus and didn’t even think about the consequences.”

  “Until he was actually on the water,” Ben chuckled.

  “At least he did it. Most of us wouldn’t get out of the boat,” she defended.

  “True. And if it’s a girl?” Ben couldn’t look away. Victoria’s whole face underwent a change, seemed to soften, her gaze focused on something not visible to anyone else.

  “I’m not sure,” she whispered. “I’d like to name her after my mom, but one day she’ll learn about her and maybe—” She paused, sighed. “My mom had such a sad life, Ben. I want my little girl to be happy. I don’t ever want to cause her shame or embarrassment.” Big fat tears fell down her cheeks as she stared at him. “I want my child to be proud of me, but what child would be proud of a mother like me who—”

  “Stop it, Victoria.” B
en rose, walked over to her and drew her into his arms, softening his voice as he brushed his hand down her back in soothing gestures. “Your child is going to be just as proud of you as you are of him or her. You’ll be bursting your buttons as he learns patience and love and generosity and sweetness. You’ll be passing on all the things your mom and the aunts taught that’s made you the most wonderful, kind, big-hearted woman you are. But mostly everything you teach will be given with God’s love and that’s all your child will need.”

  She blubbered on his shirt for a moment, face pressed against his chest. Finally she exhaled, tilted her head back and studied him. “Really, Ben?”

  “Absolutely. Are you kidding me? Your child is going to be envied by others,” he assured her, knowing that having Victoria as his mom was a blessing no one could take away. “For once and for all, please get rid of this inferiority thing you have about being worthy. You’re a beautiful woman who is going to be a fantastic mom. You give love freely and are worthy of love.”

  Something in Ben compelled him to bend his head and kiss her, not a gentle, friendly kiss like they’d shared before, but a real kiss that said he was a man who appreciated her as a woman. A kiss that came from his heart and he hoped showed that he thought her eminently qualified for love.

  At first, Victoria seemed startled, but then she kissed him back and Ben loved her response. There was need and tenderness and caring in her kiss, and when at last she eased out of his arms, said good-night and left the room, the only thing he knew for sure was that it hadn’t gone on long enough to satisfy the ache in his heart.

  He wanted more from Victoria. He wanted her to love him as he now realized he loved her. Which was utterly stupid. If he couldn’t be Mikey’s Dad, how in the world could he possibly be the kind of man Victoria would need?

  And now Ben was here until August, several more months of being near Victoria, sharing her goal of making The Haven a refuge. Days, weeks and months of watching her change, become more confident, more beautiful.

  And then he’d have to leave.