Legend of the Lost

by Dicksion, William Wayne

  “You saved my life and taught me about women, Elsa. I’ll pay for your trip home and give you enough money to live on comfortably for the rest of your life. I’ll even write a letter to Greg explaining why I think he should marry you.”

  “Thank you, Alex. You’ve always been there for me. I don’t want money from you, and I don’t want to be a burden.”

  “It would not be a burden. You’d be surprised at how much money I have. It would be a pleasure to repay you, but you have to promise that if you and Greg get married, you’ll be a good wife.”

  “Can’t I even fantasize about you?” Elsa asked with a teasing smile.

  “If Greg gets the benefit of your fantasies, then I guess he won’t mind,” Alex laughed. “My right arm is still numb, but I’m able to ride. If you’ll pack my saddlebags with enough supplies for a few weeks and bring Midnight to the back stairs tonight, I’ll find a place to recuperate until my gun hand is well enough to go after the rats that shot me. And then you can go home to Greg.”

  “What should I say when people ask about Midnight being missing from the stable?”

  “The stable master is a friend of mine. Tell him to say that someone stole Midnight.”

  Chapter 20

  Alex left Elsa’s room late at night so he wouldn’t be seen. The next morning Elsa packed her things, said good-bye to Marl, entertained a few of her favorite customers, and caught the train heading east.

  Jeffrey and Morning Flower were on the same train. Elsa thought about telling them that Alex was still alive, but Jeffrey was taking Morning Flower home to marry her, and Morning Flower seemed happy. It might make a difference if she knew that Alex was still alive.

  Both Elsa and Morning Flower were dressed in expensive travel attire. No one would have guessed by looking at them that one was a half-Indian girl recently off the reservation, and the other had been working as a lady of the night. Men tipped their hats and treated them both like ladies. everything was new and exciting to Morning Flower.

  “Elsa,” she whispered, “I didn’t know there were so many white men. Do you think Jeffrey’s folks will approve of me?”

  “Of course they will, Morning Flower. You’re beautiful. Jeffrey loves you, and his family will love you, too. I’ve been gone for over a year. I’ve met a lot of interesting people, and I’ll remember them, but I want to put this part of my life behind me and try to regain the love of a young man who once loved me.”

  “Do your parents know you’re coming home?”

  “I didn’t send them a letter because I only decided to go home two days ago. My return will be a surprise, and I hope it will be a pleasant one. our trails will part at St. Louis. You and Jeffrey will take a train to Boston, and I’ll take a different train along the Ohio River all the way to Hillview. I’ll get home early Sunday morning one week from today. I’ll have to get a ride to the farm with someone going home from church.”

  Elsa and Morning Flower exchanged addresses in St. Louis and agreed to write. Elsa continued on another train. The train ride to Hillview was comfortable and many men shared the coach with her, and dressed like a lady in a beautiful gown with matching hat and gloves, they treated her in a manner appropriate to her attire.

  * * *

  Elsa wondered what she should tell Greg about where she had been and what she had been doing. Her first thought was to say she’d been working in a ladies’ dress shop, and then she remembered what Alex had told her about how he was able to forgive Cindy because she had been honest with him. She took the letter Alex had written from her handbag and re-read it. She had to decide if she should show it to Greg.

  The letter read:

  Dear Greg,

  When I first met Elsa, she was an entertainer in a frontier saloon. I’m a man of considerable wealth, and a friend of mine owns the saloon. Elsa and I became friends, and I told her the story I’m telling you.

  I grew up in the West with no brothers or sisters, and the girl who was my childhood playmate is the daughter of the man who owns the saloon. My girlfriend’s name is Cindy. I thought that when we were old enough Cindy and I would be married. Cindy developed into a voluptuous woman and was ready for love, but I turned her down saying that we were too young and should wait until we married.

  Then two men raped Cindy. One held her hands while the other forced his way with her. Again, she came to me and asked me to confirm my love for her by making love to her; again, I turned her down.

  Then Cindy met a man who did for her what I failed to do. He was a handsome scoundrel, and she needed someone to make her feel wanted. She didn’t love the scoundrel, but she loved the way he made her feel, so she ran away with him.

  One day, while I was riding back to town from my ranch, two men ambushed me and left me for dead. Elsa saved my life, and while she nursed me back to health, she explained how I had betrayed Cindy. Then she told me that she loved a man back in her hometown who wanted to marry her, but she was afraid that he won’t forgive her because he saw her in bed with another man. She wants to go home to ask him to forgive her. To show my appreciation for her help, I gave her enough money to pay for her passage and to start a new life. Our stories are so similar that I thought it might help you to know others share your feelings of betrayal. Cindy and Elsa are wonderful girls, and their bodies were not harmed by knowing other men. I’m going to ask Cindy to marry me, and I hope she will.

  If you still love Elsa, I think you should marry her. She will be a good wife, and you can share a wonderful future together.

  Alex Vanor

  Elsa read and re-read the letter, dabbed her tears, sighed, and put it back in her handbag.

  * * *

  The church bell was ringing when Elsa stepped off the train. She asked the station attendant to hold her luggage and then walked to the church. She took a seat as though she had never left town.

  The church was nearly full when her mother, Bertha, and her father, Larry, came in and sat in the front row. Greg took a seat across the aisle, but neither he nor her parents noticed Elsa.

  Greg’s face had lost its boyish features. His chin was firm, and his gray eyes showed that he had matured. He was a handsome, well-dressed man and looked prosperous. Elsa was relieved to see that there was no woman with him.

  The sermon was about the prodigal son, and Elsa wondered if the forgiveness worked for a prodigal daughter as well. When the service was over and everyone was leaving, two girls who Elsa had gone to school with, Clara and Kimberly, saw her and reached out to greet her.

  That’s when Greg noticed her. At first he just stared; he was so shocked that he didn’t know what to say or do. He wanted to hug her, but Clara and Kimberly were in the way, so he walked out the front door of the church and waited.

  Elsa wanted to see Greg before her parents saw her, so she hurried out and threw her arms around Greg’s neck. He hesitated for a second and then wrapped his arms around her and held her without saying a word.

  She was wiping tears from her eyes when her father saw her and ran to her. Her mother seemed startled. One look and Elsa knew that her mother saw her as competition and that she was still seeing Big Mike. And Elsa could tell by the way her father hugged her mother that he still hadn’t found out about Big Mike. Mother’s hips have retained their roundness and her breasts are still firm, so Big Mike is keeping her young, and Father is enjoying the results, Elsa thought and smiled as she watched her father hugging her mother with such enthusiasm.

  “Look, Bertha, our daughter is back!” her father exclaimed with tears in his eyes.

  “Hello, Mother; hello, Father,” Elsa said as she hugged them. Then looking at Greg, she said, “My luggage is still at the train depot—can you help me with it?”

  “Glad to. Hop in my buggy, and we’ll pick it up,” Greg said.

  “Will we see you at home?” Elsa’s father asked. Her mother looked at Elsa with a questioning look.

  “Yes,” Elsa replied. “Greg will bring me home in a little while. he and I n
eed to talk, and we can do that on the way home.”

  “I’ll have lunch ready,” said her mother.

  * * *

  Greg held the reins in his left hand, and Elsa sat close, enjoying the warmth of his body as she held his right hand. It felt good to be home again, and Greg seemed glad to see her. They picked up her luggage and started home.

  “Let’s stop beside the creek after we pass the covered bridge. I think we should talk,” Elsa said.

  Greg had been there many times on dates and knew the spot to park so no one would see them.

  “I have a blanket in the back of the buggy. I carry it in case it rains. We can spread it on the ground so the grass won’t spoil your clothes.”

  Yes, I’m sure that’s why you carry a blanket, Elsa thought. . . . After they were comfortable, Elsa said, “Greg, I’ve wanted to come home for a long time, but I was afraid you’d still be angry.” Not giving Greg a chance to ask questions that she wasn’t yet ready to answer, Elsa continued, “What have you been doing? Is there a girl in your life?”

  “I date a girl from time to time,” Greg answered, “but there’s no one special. Mother died last summer, and Father died in the winter, so I’ve been too busy on the farm.”

  “Oh, Greg, I’m sorry you lost your parents. That means that you own one of the best farms in the valley. I’ll bet a lot of girls want you for a husband.”

  Greg ignored Elsa’s comment and switched the conversation back to her. “Everybody wondered where you went. Your father wanted to look for you, but your mother discouraged him. I didn’t know why your mother didn’t want to look for you, but I knew why you left. I wanted to find you and bring you back, but I didn’t know where to look, and besides, I couldn’t forget seeing you with Big Mike.” Greg half-closed his eyes and brushed the hair off his brow, trying to erase the image. “Big Mike never knew that I saw you, but I knew that you saw me, because you looked right at me. Have you come back for me or have you come back for Big Mike?”

  Greg didn’t wait for an answer and continued as he searched her eyes. “I couldn’t sleep, because in my mind I kept seeing you with Big Mike. He’s still living in the cottage behind your father’s barn. Your parents installed a shower and made the cottage bigger, so you’ll have all the comforts of home, if that’s why you came back.”

  “Greg, I have something to show you,” Elsa said when she realized that the conversation wasn’t going well. She gave Greg the letter from Alex and waited until he read it.

  Greg took a long time reading the letter, and as he read it, his expression kept changing from interest to concern. “Did you go to Big Mike because I turned you down?”

  “That was part of it, but only part. I’ve never told anyone other than Alex, and now you, that two high school boys raped me while I was on my way home from school. I was in the tenth grade. I was angry, frightened, and ashamed. One of them held me down while the other raped me. They took turns and then turned me loose. After they were gone and I got over my humiliation, I couldn’t stop thinking about what they had done. I didn’t tell anyone because I thought that maybe I might have done something that encouraged them. I felt guilty and unloved.”

  Elsa looked at Greg to see how he was reacting. He was frowning, but since he was still listening, she continued.

  “I went to you to see if you still loved me. I didn’t want to tell you that I’d been raped. I wanted you to love to me and assure me that I was still lovable. Again you turned me down. Then one day while I was gathering eggs, I saw Big Mike washing himself in the water trough. That night I couldn’t sleep. I needed a man to show me that I was still lovable. All I could think about was having a man desire me.”

  Not knowing what to say, Greg kept staring at the ground.

  “The day you saw me, Mother and Father had gone somewhere for the day, so I went to Big Mike’s cottage. When I looked over Big Mike’s shoulder, I saw you and realized how badly I had hurt you. I wanted to explain that I didn’t love Big Mike, that I loved you. I wanted to ask you to forgive me, but I knew you wouldn’t, so I moved to another town. Then after finishing high school I caught the first train going west and got the only job I could get—working as a barmaid in a saloon.”

  Elsa didn’t think it was necessary to tell Greg about catching her mother with Big Mike, so she omitted that part.

  “That’s where I met the man who wrote this letter. His girl had experienced a similar situation by being raped by two wandering men.” Elsa took Greg’s hand. His eyes reflected more sympathy than anger, so she went on.

  “The man who wrote this letter loved Cindy enough to forgive her for seeking comfort from another man, and that gave me hope that you might forgive me. he said that you might forgive me if I were completely honest with you. I’ll tell you anything you want to know. That’s why I told you about Big Mike.” Elsa took a handkerchief from her bag and wiped her tears.

  “The letter says you were an entertainer. How much entertaining did you do?” Greg asked with anger in his voice though his eyes showed concern.

  “Men paid to sleep with me, if that’s what you’re asking. I’m trying to be honest with you. Will you be honest with me? You’re a man, and I know that a man needs a woman from time to time. Have you slept with other girls while I was gone?”

  Greg looked down, thought for a moment, and then answered. “I don’t want to damage their reputations or violate their confidence, but yes, I finally put my conservative restrictions aside and slept with both Clara and Kim.”

  “Did sleeping with them diminish you in any way?”

  “No, I’m still the same,” Greg smiled. “Well, maybe better.”

  “Then why do you think I’ve been harmed by letting men make love to me? I’ll bet both girls came back for more. Am I right?”

  “They never turn me down, and they’ve always been ready when I asked. I don’t think either of them knows that I’m doing it with the other.”

  “Don’t kid yourself, Greg. I’m sure they’ve talked about how you excite them and what you do to them, and you’re probably not the only man they compare notes about. They’ll both get married one of these days, and if you don’t tell the men they marry, the men will never know, because neither girl will tell, nor will you. It doesn’t matter, really, because what you did didn’t hurt them in any way—instead, it might have helped.”

  “I never thought about it like that, but I guess you’re right.”

  Elsa sat up. “Mother and Father will be wondering what’s keeping us. You’d better take me home.”

  “May I take you to supper tonight?”

  “I was hoping you’d ask, and I’m hoping you’ll show me your bedroom.”

  For the first time, Greg laughed and helped her into the buggy.

  There’s a chance, Elsa thought. She was glad she had taken Alex’s advice about being honest.

  * * *

  Greg’s buggy pulled up in front of the farmhouse, and Elsa noticed Big Mike watching from a partially opened barn door. Elsa went with Greg as he carried her luggage to her room. The room was just as she had left it.

  Elsa’s mother invited Greg to stay for lunch, but he declined.

  “You need time alone with Elsa,” Greg replied, “and I’m taking her to supper tonight.” he turned to Elsa. “I’ll pick you up at six.”

  “I’ll be ready,” Elsa said as she walked Greg to the door.

  After spending a little time getting reacquainted, Elsa’s father said, “We’d like to know where you’ve been and what you’ve been doing, but you don’t have to tell us unless you want to.”

  Elsa couldn’t share Alex’s letter with her parents, so she made up a story. “I’m sorry if I worried you, but I had a traumatic experience and had to get away. I went west and got a job in a dress shop. I learned the trade, so I decided to come home to Hillview and open a ladies’ boutique. I’ll rent a room in town in order to be close to the business.”

  “That’s a wonderful idea,” her mother sai
d, showing some interest for the first time.

  “It’s nice having you home again,” her father said. “I still go on cattle-buying trips once or twice a month, and your mother gets lonesome out here all by herself. Big Mike still works for us, and he takes care of things while I’m gone.” he kissed her on the cheek. “Elsa, I hate to leave so soon after you got home, but I have to catch the train this afternoon. I’ll be back in about a week.”

  Elsa felt her mother’s eyes on her.

  “You’re lucky to have Big Mike here to take care of things,” Elsa replied while looking at her mother. “I’m sure Big Mike is pleased to do everything you and Mother need doing.”

  Bertha remembered finding Elsa’s scarf outside Big Mike’s door the day she disappeared, and what Elsa said, and the way she said it, convinced Bertha that Elsa had seen her in bed with Big Mike. She was enjoying her relationship with Big Mike and was looking forward to today’s private moments with him. She was wondering if having Elsa home again was going to change things.