Nothing.
She couldn’t accept that. She wouldn’t leave Nakia! Why wouldn’t you? Your father left your mother, and he was the Great Amir. Are you anything like him?
Ashni could never say she was close to the greatness of her father in the sense of his glory. He was the reason the Roshan had an empire, but she was worthy of his legacy. She had practically doubled the size of their empire and treated people fairly. She married the love of her life who could shoulder mighty burdens with her, just as he had. Could she have died like him? Leaving behind so much?
Nakia. Ashni wouldn’t be able to forgive herself if she left Nakia to deal with their kingdom alone. How often do you ride off to battle and leave her to deal with what’s going on at home?
Ashni tried to shake away the thought. Nakia understood her dream. Her mother supported her father through it all, just as Nakia did with her. And what did that get her mother in the end? A dead husband, seven children, and vultures circling to pick her bones clean as they decided who would rule the empire her husband built.
And that’s how you left Nakia. The wolves would come for her hellcat. Nakia was strong, and she had Layla, Adira, and others as backup, but Ashni was supposed to be by Nakia’s side, loving her, ruling with her, supporting her. Keeping the wolves at bay.
What sort of queen was she? In her drive for her father’s dream, had she made the same mistakes he did? Had she basically become him in all the wrong ways?
No. Her father hadn’t done anything wrong. She hadn’t done anything wrong. And she wasn’t dead. She still had so many things to do. So much world to conquer. So much love for Nakia. And she needed to kick Layla’s ass one more time. She could already hear how Adira would scold her if she had the nerve to die, and she scolded herself just as much.
Chapter Six
NAKIA SAT IN THE banquet hall with Samar and Badar during the feast for Jay and Asad. She watched, wanting to see if anyone who shouldn’t be with them so much as glanced in their direction. The room was packed with the usual nobles and officials. Some seemed restless, shifting on their sitting pillows, passing up food and wine as it was offered, and glancing at the exits rather than delighting in the party.
Nakia understood. Her robes felt heavy, her mind thick with annoyance for having to even do this. The music was more a whining noise than anything else. She’d like to get off of her teal pillow and walk out, having better things to do than entertain unannounced guests.
No one was happy to greet Jay and Asad. The few people the brothers brought with them seemed to be enjoying the party, following the lead of the kings. Raising their golden goblets, they downed imported wine like it was cheap swill. They stuffed their faces with rich foods, much of it from farther west than they would ever travel. They groped the dancers to their hearts’ content.
“Anything look amiss to you two?” Nakia asked. Samar and Badar were better at this than she was, noticing when subtle things were off. As a doctor, Samar was trained to find and solve problems most wouldn’t be able to.
“No, they’re the same as they tend to be,” Badar replied. He leaned forward on his fluffy, black pillow, as if needing a closer look.
“Badar, you could go ruffle their feathers a little.” Samar nudged him with her shoulder.
Badar groaned. “I don’t want to go reprimand them. You know how that goes.”
Nakia arched an eyebrow. “You can reprimand them?” They were kings, children of the Empress. They acted as if they were untouchable, except when their mother was involved.
“We know their parents and technically share daughters. I might be able to rattle them a little for their behavior, since they should’ve contacted Ashni before coming. They were like naughty teenagers the last time I spoke to them, so we’ll see how infuriating they’ll be this time,” Badar replied.
Nakia could only imagine. Badar stepped away, pushing through the crowd of people and making his way over to Jay and Asad.
Samar leaned closer. “Would you like to hear the conversation?”
Nakia blinked. “You can do that?”
Samar’s smile widened. “I can listen through Badar’s shadow.”
“How the hell can you do all these things through damn shadows?” Nakia squinted as she tried to make sense of that. She couldn’t believe it. Their powers didn’t make sense.
“All things are possible through the Darkness.”
Nakia sighed. “What does that even mean?” Usually, she accepted when they said things like that—Darkness was supposed to be beyond even the gods according to them—but really, how could a shadow act as a conduit to hear a conversation?
Samar put her finger to her lips. Nakia huffed through her nose and folded her arms. Samar then pointed to the brothers and Badar, so Nakia turned her attention to them.
“It comes through like a whisper,” Samar said. Nakia nodded, listening to the shadow Samar leaned toward. Their voices did indeed whisper, carrying past the revelry in the hall, clear as if Badar stood right next to her.
“You two usually have better manners,” Badar said to the brothers.
Asad scoffed. “What does a beast like you know of manners?”
Nakia flinched at the blatant disrespect. She had never heard anyone speak to Badar in such a manner. She glanced at Samar, who scowled. Maybe the bold behavior was new.
Jay held up a finger. “Just because you knew our father doesn’t make you the man.”
“And just because you’re his son doesn’t make you the man,” Badar replied. “A pale comparison truly. Your father never showed up as a guest unannounced, nor would he ever treat his hostess as if she didn’t exist.”
Jay sucked his teeth. “An emperor doesn’t have to announce himself in his own lands when all of his subjects are at his beck and call.”
Badar tapped his chin. “Has your mother died then?”
Jay’s whole body jerked. “You keep my mother out of this, beast.”
Badar sighed. “You know how she would feel about this. Hell, you know how your father would feel. Why do you do these things?”
“We don’t owe a beast like you any explanations,” Asad replied.
Nakia gasped, appalled that he’d have the nerve to say something like that to Badar. The fool.
Badar chuckled. “Funny, since I’m certain if I felt like it, I could crush both of you right now. Only my respect for your parents saves you. You should do well to remember that, along with your manners.”
For all their bluster, neither brother spoke after that. Badar stared at them for a long moment before returning to Nakia. Jay and Asad watched him from across the room.
Nakia patted the pillow next to her and Badar sat down, frowning.
“That was useless,” Badar said.
Nakia didn’t think so.
Samar curled her lip. “Well, thanks to you we know Chandra didn’t send them, as Jay got flustered. They’re still the immature sterlings they’ve always been.”
“That’ll never change. I don’t understand how they’re Khalid’s sons. His eldest. They should be him,” Badar said.
Samar chuckled. “Like Layla is you?”
“Layla is like my mother.” He waved the comment away. “Does it seem like Asad might actually be in charge of this?”
Nakia turned to him. “Why do you think that?”
“Jay has no reason do something this stupid. The Empire will surely be his upon Chandra’s death. Asad’s too closely linked to Amal,” Badar replied.
Samar frowned. “You’re thinking too logically. In their minds, Ashni has always been Chandra’s favorite. Jay’s here to prove he’s better than Ashni and should get the throne. This could be his chance to show Chandra he can handle the now very vast empire.”
“Or this could be revenge. Asad wants to hurt Ashni for Amal,” Badar said.
Nakia felt those were both good points, but she didn’t get a chance to voice her opinion. Jay strolled over, a confident tilt to his chin. Samar’s and Badar�
�s eyes flashed and went all black again.
“Highness, is everything to your liking?” Nakia asked, making sure to keep her tone polite.
Jay gave her a strange smile. “For all of the festivities, I noticed Saniyah hasn’t joined us. Is everything all right in the Gyan household?”
Her gut churned and it took everything in Nakia to keep a straight face. Saniyah. Did he know she was using Adira’s spies to round up information as to why he and his brother might be here?
“Her niece hasn’t been feeling well, so she’s tending to her. She sends her regards, of course,” Nakia answered. Bashira wasn’t in the palace on orders from Nakia, Saniyah, and Layla’s parents. And Nakia made sure Saffi stayed away for the moment, too.
Jay nodded. “Very well.” And then he was gone, back to his seat.
“Oh, dear. He still pines for Saniyah,” Badar said.
Nakia’s eyes went wide. He what?
“Oh, please. He doesn’t care for Saniyah. He’s upset she picked Adira, a barbarian as far as he’s concerned, over his precious sterling blood,” Samar said.
Nakia rubbed her forehead. “I feel like I’m learning too much right now, and yet not enough.”
Samar shook her head. “Not nearly enough. Jay only wanted Saniyah when she showed an interest in Adira. His hatred of Adira is almost legendary, so he tried to steal Saniyah away. The only thing Saniyah didn’t do was knee him in the balls when he made the suggestion that she become his spouse.”
Nakia stored that information in the back of her mind. Though it didn’t explain why the brothers were there, only adding to trouble they could cause. There were too many moving parts. She hated it.
***
Whispers kept Ashni company in the darkness. She strained her ears, trying to gauge a direction, but it sounded all around her. The voices became clearer, more distinct, and Roshan. They spoke her native tongue. What luck! They might see me and help. Then I can get back to Nakia.
“She looks just like that barbarian woman.”
Barbarian woman? Nakia? Ashni would make them pay for their insolence.
“None of them look like her.”
What?
“She’s obviously not his.”
Wait a second. The conversation sounded familiar, like it had happened to her a long time ago. Am I dreaming? That would make sense.
“Her looks are proof enough of what that hill witch did to our emperor and he doesn’t even know it.”
Ah. She looked nothing like her father, the Great Amir, so she couldn’t possibly be his child.
“He’s blinded by her.”
“She’s bewitched him. How else could you explain him accepting her? She looks nothing like him.”
“At least that ghost woman delivered on princes. Those boys are clearly his.”
“He might suspect. Shamans and priests have come to him and offered mystical ways to determine that girl’s lineage, but he turns them down.”
Because I’m his, you jackasses! The emperor is my father! Ashni groaned. She wanted to scream at the top of her lungs, but her voice remained in her own head. This bullshit again. Why the hell would I bother to dream about this? She had heard it all from the time she could remember. This is a waste. I could be coming up with ways to get the hell out of this void.
Before she could figure out what was going on, the blankness gave way to light. There were blurs at first, shapeless, floating objects that slowly morphed into forms, people, rooms. Four nobles, dressed in Roshan finery, tucked in the corner of the hall of the Grand Palace. Home. Wait, I remember this. She looked around the room before staring at a tapestry against the wall by the group, seeing her younger self’s tiny feet tucked out of view. Years ago, she’d heard the nobles loud and clear.
“He refuses to see what’s clear because she’s bewitched him, just as she did to get him to marry her. She’s a powerful witch. We all know it.”
The nobles weren’t wrong about her mother being a witch, but that was the only thing they got right.
“She needs to be stopped.”
Ashni remembered how tiny-her wanted to leap out from behind the tapestry and defend her mother, to declare Chandra was more than some hill witch, she was the daughter of a volcano god! Only she could be a match for the Son of the Sun. She couldn’t, though. She didn’t have the words to say the things she felt in her heart.
So she did the next best thing.
Mini-Ashni, all of five years old, flung back the cloth and launched a surprise attack. The bruising she left on their shins lasted a week. The scolding her father gave her lasted a lifetime.
“You’re destined for great things, my princess. Never let people pull you below yourself if it’s not necessary. Those nobles can say anything they want about you, but it doesn’t change who you are. You’re my daughter. You’re your mother’s daughter. The blood of gods flows through you, fuels you, and one day you’re going to light up the world. You’ll burn so bright you’ll blind them,” her father said in a vow she could still feel in her heart.
And then her mother added to it. Words she’d never forget. “You’re going to change the world someday.”
She liked to think she did that…in spite of her mother, not because of her. After all, her mother probably told her brothers the same thing.
***
With the feast over, the first thing Nakia did was check on Saffi. If Jay and Asad were willing to drag Saniyah into it, Nakia wanted to make sure her sister was safe. They probably didn’t know about Saffi, but she needed to be sure.
“Saffi, is everything okay?” Nakia asked as soon as she entered Saffi’s room.
The space was furnished with small tables, and thick tapestries and mosaics with calming scenes decorated the walls. Moonlight poured into the room from several windows. Saffi sat propped up on pillows in the corner with a history book, a thin blanket covering her legs pooling around her. Nakia smiled. It was good to see Saffi reading.
Saffi looked up. “Everything’s fine, Nakia.” Her tone sounded clipped.
Nakia’s stomach sank and twisted against itself, sure something was wrong. “You didn’t have any unknown visitors?”
Saffi shook her head. “I’ve been here, not bothering your guests.”
Bothering? Nakia rushed to kneel by her sister. “No, Saffi, that’s not it. It’s not about you bothering them. It’s about them bothering you. I want to keep you safe, make things good for you.” And it hurt to think she couldn’t yet, that the brothers had disturbed this time with her sibling, like a stab to the ribs.
Saffi’s lips formed a hard line across her face. “By locking me in my room?”
Just like their father would do. Nakia hadn’t thought about it at the time, but that was exactly what this was. That’s because I’m part of you. You’re just like me. Her father’s voice rang in her head and made her skin crawl.
“I’m so sorry.” Nakia put her hands on Saffi’s knees. “I just don’t want you to get hurt again.”
Saffi closed her book. “At a party?”
“It’s who the party was for. They’re not good people.”
“It’s difficult to be good and rule.”
Nakia shook her head. “That’s untrue. I’m not trying to trap or control you. You can leave your rooms whenever you want.”
Saffi nodded, but Nakia didn’t feel believed. Her throat burned with worry and tears stung her eyes. She didn’t want to lose Saffi’s trust in her, not when she just got her sister back, not when they were able to actually have a connection and build a relationship. You don’t know what you’re doing without Ashni here. You’re drowning, and it hasn’t been a full day yet. She wasn’t sure what she’d do next.
***
The world went fuzzy. Hope lifted Ashni’s heart. Was she waking up? And then the world only shifted to another part of her past.
Directly in front of her, mini-Ashni was with her father. They sat on a grassy hill and stared at the night sky. Stars seemed to be everywhere,
splashes of white on a dark backdrop. Fireflies fluttered around them. Ashni could still smell the wildflowers, even if it wasn’t real. Despite everything, calm overcame her. Mini-Ashni stared at her father as if he had hung each star individually just for her.
“Now, Ashni, I know you’re my little heavy hitter, but you can’t hit everybody,” he told her, voice soft and almost boyish. So different than the battle-hardened warrior he portrayed.
“But, Daddy, they said mean things about Mommy.”
He scooped her up in a hug. She relaxed against him as he kissed her chubby cheek. “Well, I’ve learned over the years your mother can handle herself. It’s good that you stood up for her, but you don’t have to. She can fight her own battles.”
She pulled back. “So, I should tell her what they said and let her fight them.”
He laughed. “I love your enthusiasm and loyalty, but you don’t have to tell her. She already knows. This is nothing new. Sometimes, people will say or do mean things for no reason.”
“Like when Amal takes my books.”
He sighed. “Yes, like when Amal takes your books. You have to learn what battles are yours to fight.”
“I fight Amal all the time.”
He chuckled. “I know you do. However, you don’t always have to stand up for someone. Sometimes, people need to stand up for themselves. Sometimes, people handle things in ways we wouldn’t understand. And sometimes, letting other people fight their own battles helps you grow.”
She nodded, even though she didn’t really understand. But the lesson had stuck.
Ashni watched as the two grinned at each other. Why am I dreaming about this? Are there battles I shouldn’t be fighting? She hadn’t even stopped fighting her mother’s battles after this conversation. She was honor-bound to defend certain people, especially when they weren’t around to defend themselves. You taught me that, Dad…I think. Looking back, it might have been a lesson she made up on her own.
Blood Rain (Warrior Class Book 3) Page 8
