How does letting someone fight their own fight let me grow? Ashni felt like she should stand up for people. Hell, it was what her mother did, although quieter than her father in a lot of ways. She should stand up for people. I do.
***
Nakia sat on the throne and wished she could breathe easy for a little while. Jay and Asad didn’t appear for a couple of days after the feast. Their absence made her nervous, but she had people watching them. There were no reports of them doing anything out of the ordinary. There were letters going out, but they only seemed to be discussing how Jay and Asad made it to their destination and checking on their respective kingdoms. It gave her a chance to focus on Ashni’s arrival.
She was still a couple of days out, but everything was prepared for when her beloved arrived. The short trip had become a journey due to Ashni’s condition. They traveled slowly because she was so delicate. It seemed like any wrong move could be the end.
“What do you think would happen if Jay and Asad knew about Ashni?” Nakia asked Samar and Badar as she took care of some paperwork. They stood on opposite sides of the throne.
“Nothing good,” Samar replied.
“They’ve never been kind to her. We assume that’s why she took to Layla the way she did,” Badar said.
Nakia’s brow wrinkled. “What about Fahim and the little twins?”
Samar shrugged. “Fahim is a completely different person. I do believe Ashni loves him with all her heart, but he’s unique. I’m sure if Kek and Kiran didn’t have each other, they’d fawn over Ashni.”
That made sense. “Ashni’s an odd cutting point for the Akshay siblings.”
“Khalid and Chandra might have changed their parenting style when the baby girl showed up,” Badar said.
Nakia wasn’t sure. From what she knew about Khalid and Chandra, they weren’t the type to treat Ashni differently.
“Changed how?” Nakia asked.
“They got a little more protective of the children, watchful, and careful who was around them. It might’ve been too little too late for the older set or it might’ve just been how Jay, Asad, and Amal were.” Samar shook her head.
Nakia couldn’t let Jay and Asad just do whatever the hell they wanted, especially since Saffi was wandering about. I’m not made for this. She couldn’t protect the people she needed to.
Before her thoughts could spiral, Saniyah marched in. Nakia motioned for her to come up to the throne. Saniyah kneeled at Nakia’s feet.
“What do you have?” Nakia asked.
Saniyah glanced up. “Nothing much. Adira makes the spying business seem so easy. Jay and Asad don’t seem to know what happened to Ashni, but they began making their way here almost as soon as Ashni left for the North.”
Nakia scowled. “So, whatever this is has to do with Ashni being gone. A coup?” That couldn’t be right, unless they were planning to co-rule. Asad would have to have something damaging on Jay for that to happen, or Jay really had a soft spot for Asad.
“I’m not sure yet. A coup is more than likely, though I can’t see them playing nice together. Perhaps Jay will give Asad this end of the Empire for his support. Ashni will be in competition for the throne until she dies,” Saniyah said.
She could be dying right now. Nakia’s heart skipped a beat and she gasped. Saniyah put a hand on her knee, giving it a squeeze. Samar ran her hand through Nakia’s hair.
“Calm down. Her brothers have been trying to get rid of her for years. She’s done crazy things to almost get rid of herself for years. She knows now if she dies, you and Adira will scold her for all eternity,” Saniyah said.
Nakia laughed in spite of herself, but the remark had the desired effect. She refocused. She had to keep her eye on Jay and Asad and wanted to mend things with her sister. “Have any of you seen Saffi, by any chance?” Nakia asked.
Since the morning after the party, Saffi had been out and about, and Nakia hadn’t been able to keep tabs on her.
No one had an answer. If Jay and Asad might kill their own sister, Nakia didn’t want to think about what they might do to hers. She needed eyes on Saffi. Now.
***
The memory faded, and Ashni contemplated her father’s words about letting others fight their own battles. The words echoed around her in the darkness and hummed through her, making her feel like she did something wrong. Why shouldn’t I stand up for people? She didn’t have the answer, which might explain why the endless black shifted to color again. A new memory.
Mini-Ashni stood in a palace hallway with tiny-Jay. Looking at his thick eight-year-old frame compared to her small five-year-old stature showed why he always seemed like a giant. He dressed in all the finery of the Crown Prince, but he trembled with fury. He balled his hand into a tight fist, and he appeared one move away from tearing the world apart. Mini-Ashni waited for that to happen.
“Why don’t you do something? They said bad things about Mommy,” mini-Ashni said. She stepped forward. It didn’t matter that they were at a royal gathering or that it was a big group of older noble teenagers. They dared to talk about her mother. “I’ll do something then.”
Jay grabbed her by the hand before she got too far. “Don’t bother.”
“What?” She glared at him.
The scowl on his face could’ve cut diamonds. “They’re going to keep doing it. I’ve seen them, hit them, even told on them, but they never stop.”
Squinting, she studied her brother’s face for some sign of a lie. “What they said isn’t true. We can’t just let them get away with it.”
“We can’t stop what they say without hurting them really bad and that’s not good. People wouldn’t like us or let Dad and Mom be in charge if they didn’t like us.”
That didn’t sound right to her. Neither Mom nor Dad ever said they got in trouble over her behavior. Who told Jay these things? How could the emperor and empress get in trouble? So many questions, so she went with the most pressing one. “So, we can’t do anything?”
“Mom will handle it. It won’t stop them, but they’ll learn to be quiet about it. Some of them, the smarter ones, will never do it again. Come on.” He yanked her to him and threw his arm over her shoulder. He was heavy, bulky. She’d never forget his weight against her.
A ping went through Ashni as she watched the pair. For a long moment, she could almost feel Jay pressed against her, him holding her close, conspiring with her. There was a time when she mattered so much to that big idiot.
Jay snickered. “Let’s go have some of those sweet breads while no one’s looking.”
Ashni watched them go. Am I smiling? It feels like I’m smiling. Her eyes burned, too, like she might cry. Why did she have to remember this?
Jay had helped her better understand why she had to pick her battles. Back when this idiot taught me stuff on purpose. While Jay hadn’t stated he never stood up for her, at the time she thought he did. She couldn’t prove otherwise, and he said he stood up for Mom. Why wouldn’t her big brother stand up for her?
Beyond that, sweets had been his answer for everything when she was riled up as a child. He always knew where the best candies were and sneaked them for her. Then, one day, it stopped. One day, he was gone and then all that was left was the Light.
Darkness came once more, giving way to something new, focusing on the day she found out about her talent. It had been a hell of a day. Still small, she sat in the grass of a flat plane, thrown from her horse. Her brothers laughed as she wiped blood from her busted lip.
“She can’t even ride a horse!” Asad guffawed, pointing at her in case Jay and Amal missed her in the dust.
“I can so ride a horse!” Ashni hopped as she climbed to her feet and stumbled. Her leg hurt, because she had cut it. Blood soaked into the fabric of her robes.
“Then come on.” Jay flicked his wrist with one hand.
“I bet what they keep saying is true. You can’t be Dad’s. You can’t possibly be a Roshan and not know how to ride a horse,” Asad said.
/> Amal snickered. “Well, Mom and Dad found her in the snow. That’s why she’s so light.”
It didn’t even make sense, but it stung. Since she could comprehend, she had heard similar things, but others whispered them. Her own brothers said them to her face. Her belly twisted and her blood flared as they laughed. Dark clouds gathered over the meadow, blocking a once clear sky.
“She’s related to Yetis,” Asad said.
“Mommy’s way lighter than me!” Ashni couldn’t understand why everyone acted like she was the lightest thing to walk the globe. She was only a few shades lighter than her brothers. Mom was the same complexion as a cloud, and no one said anything to her.
“Mommy can also ride a horse,” Asad replied.
“Mommy’s more Roshan than you and she was born in some backward hill country,” Amal said.
“I can ride a horse and I am Roshan!” Ashni stomped her foot. Lightning crackled above them.
Jay scoffed. “You must be from another place. One without horses. There’s weird sea people just beyond the Empire. Maybe they lost you.”
Coming from Jay, it cut to the bone. “I. Am. Roshan!” Lightning flashed. The wind picked up, howling like a pack of separated wolves. Thundered boomed, like the world was about to come apart. Her brothers looked around.
“It’s about to storm,” Jay said. “Ashni, ride with me, so we’ll make it back before the rain.”
“No! I won’t ride with you. I can ride my own horse.” Lightning struck a nearby tree.
“Stop being foolish! You can’t ride and we can’t leave you behind. Now, let’s go,” Asad said.
“I can ride!” Ashni threw her hand without really knowing why. Lightning shot from her fingertips toward her brothers. It smashed against the stone next to them.
Her brothers yelled. The steeds reared up, whinnied, and threw her brothers from their backs. Her brothers gawked at her. She stared at her hands. It felt like her nerves were going to jump out of her body.
After long, quiet moments, the sky cleared, but the atmosphere was different. Everything had changed. Her brothers never quite looked at her the same way again. And maybe she never looked at herself the same. Why would I be the same? I wielded the power of gods. No one ever had any answers as to how or why.
***
Nakia was ready to jump out of her seat when she got the news that Ashni had arrived, but she kept her cool. After disappearing for two days about the palace and city, Jay and Asad popped up at random times, as if checking to see if she was working. According to the servants following them, the brothers seemed to be getting familiar with their surroundings. Almost as if they planned to stay awhile.
Yet Nakia just wanted her beloved. She announced loudly she would be taking lunch in her rooms, in case Jay or Asad sought her out. Instead, she rushed to Ashni’s side and stopped dead in her tracks when she laid eyes on the fallen queen.
She could hardly believe it was Ashni lying motionless and covered by a thin blanket. While her fingers itched to touch Ashni, she was scared. One false move and Ashni might fall apart. Ashen, practically gray, with bruising around the eyes and mouth. Her cheeks had sunken in on themselves. Deep, dark lines ran like vines over every visible part of her body.
Despite her fear, Nakia placed her hand on Ashni’s arm. She expected it to be cold, but it was hot, almost as Ashni was fever-ridden. Then there was the smell. She expected someone in Ashni’s condition to have an aroma of death, but that wasn’t the case. The faint scent of mint hung over her.
Sniffling, she pressed a little harder. Ashni’s body was squishy. That couldn’t be good, so she pulled away, afraid she had damaged Ashni.
Nakia trembled at the idea that Ashni’s body was decaying just under her skin. She clapped a hand over her lips, holding in a sob. Badar wrapped his arms around her.
“She’ll be all right. Samar has her now,” Badar said. His quiet voice held so much promise.
Nakia glanced at Samar. Samar examined Ashni. Nakia’s stomach churned, burning her throat. Her heart ached. How could Samar fix Ashni? Unable to look at her beloved like this any longer, Nakia turned her attention to Naren and Hafiz.
The pair had certainly seen better days. Dirt and oil covered their faces and hair, which was out of their usual braids. Their plain clothes, worn to help them blend in as they transported Ashni to avoid any unnecessary trouble after finding out Jay and Asad were around, looked just as dirty as their faces. But their shoulders were squared and faces stony, ready for orders.
“What happened to her?” Nakia asked.
Naren handed over a sealed parchment. “Adira wrote everything down that she could find out about what they did to Ashni, but it’s not much. She thinks some Northern death magic might be involved. None of the doctors or healers could figure it out.”
Nakia accepted the scroll and read through it. Her eyes seemed to automatically find the part about death magic. Her throat burned to the point it felt like she might vomit. What if the barbarians knew the things Caligo Mor knew? Ashni might never wake up. She might become an undead. There were so many possibilities. She passed the paper to Samar. Hopefully, she could make something of it.
“How was the North?” Nakia asked. She needed at least one problem out of the way.
“Things seemed favorable when we left,” Hafiz replied.
“There’s an agreement with the biggest tribal leaders, but we still need the other tribes to agree, or they’ll keep raiding us,” Naren said as he gave her another parchment. “These are the things Layla negotiated and approved.”
Nakia nodded, but her body felt like she was crunched up into a tiny ball. It hurt to breathe. She’d look at the negotiations later. “All right. Well, we have a little snag in the plans.”
Naren sighed. “Does it have to do with bringing Ashni down here or why Varaza met us halfway out?” Varaza stood in the corner of the room. She looked more rugged than she did when she left, like years had passed. She had done her job well, made sure they got into the city and palace unnoticed, but seeing Ashni in such a state, someone she viewed as a god, was probably difficult.
Nakia nodded. “Her brothers showed up a few days ago.”
Hafiz’s eyebrow ticked up. “The kings are really here?”
He seemed much too interested for Nakia’s taste. He worshipped the ground Adira walked on, but he was one of the few sterling Roshan in their group and still seemed to think sterling meant better.
“They are, and they cannot know about this,” Nakia said.
Hafiz nodded. “They’d take advantage of what Queen Ashni has worked for.”
Maybe he does get it.
“We have to let Layla and Adira know,” Naren said.
“I’ve sent word. I want them to return, and you two can exchange places with them. They have more experience in dealing with Jay and Asad,” Nakia replied.
Hafiz rubbed his forehead. “Then no one will have the on-site authority to negotiate with the barbarians.”
“Hold them off, boy. Learn to stall,” Badar said, his calm voice settling around Nakia like a hug.
“We might all have to.” Samar put a hand on Ashni’s discolored forehead. “I’ve never seen anything like this.”
“You can save her, right?” Nakia feared she might die on the spot if she didn’t get the perfect answer for this. It felt like there were claws ripping down every inch of her.
“Everything is possible through the Darkness,” Samar replied.
The way Nakia’s heart squeezed into itself didn’t allow her to lie and say she believed that. But, if it saved her spouse, so be it. “Okay, okay, okay. We need to keep it together.” You need to keep it together. “Samar, you stay here with Ashni. Varaza, you’re down here with them. Hafiz, Naren, you’ll go back. I’ll keep an eye on Jay and Asad.”
“And I’ll keep an eye on you,” Badar said.
“I’ll return with you for right now. Varaza, keep an eye on Ashni,” Samar said.
Nakia nodde
d. It made sense for Samar to return with Nakia and Badar to avoid arousing suspicions. The trio returned to the grand hall. Jay and Asad waited for them, standing by the dais, murmuring to themselves.
“Highnesses, is there something I can do for you?” Nakia asked as she made her way to the throne.
“Bow to us when you stand before us,” Asad replied. She arched an eyebrow.
Jay waved him off. “Any word on our sister?”
“Still north, negotiating with the tribes. She’s not sure how long it’ll take,” Nakia replied, sitting on the throne. With luck, that response would get rid of them.
“Then perhaps you should entertain us while we’re here. We’re your guests, after all,” Asad said.
“And what would be entertaining for you, Highness?” It took all of her willpower not to bite her tongue with the question. Why do they think I have the time?
“You’re queen here, are you not? You should know what to do,” Asad replied with a sneer.
Nakia smiled. “My guests do tend to do the honorable thing and make themselves known ahead of time, so I can clear my schedule and make plans.”
A flicker of a frown painted Jay’s face. “We are honored to be your guests.”
“We’re grateful to have you. I’ll do my best to see to your needs now that my schedule has been shifted to accommodate you.” That was far from true, but she couldn’t allow Jay to out-empty pleasantry her. “We can have dinner together and figure out what you’d like.”
The brothers bowed their heads and took their leave. As soon as they were out of sight, Nakia huffed. Jay was being far too nice. She didn’t have a chance to think about it because out of nowhere, Saffi pinned herself to Nakia’s side.
“I was told you’re having dinner in honor of Ashni’s brothers,” Saffi said, beaming.
Nakia grimaced. “How did you find out about that so quickly? I just made those plans.”
“One of my servants told me. You didn’t think I was ready for a great feast with them, dear sister, but surely I can take dinner. They must be great men if they are related to Ashni. You must introduce me. Must,” Saffi said.
Blood Rain (Warrior Class Book 3) Page 9
