by Lucy Clark
CHAPTER TEN
‘ARE YOU SURE? You still have a few weeks to go.’
‘Tell that to the baby.’ She would have laughed if she could. As it was, she concentrated on the pain, which seemed to be getting stronger as well as longer. Finally, it subsided and she relaxed against the shower wall, opening her eyes to look at him.
‘I’ll call Donna and the hospital and, uh...let them know we’ll be over soon.’ He reached into his pocket for his smartphone. ‘Has it stopped?’
‘Yes.’
He pressed some buttons on the phone. ‘Let’s see how far apart your contractions are.’ He stayed with her, quickly calling Donna and then the hospital to give them the latest update. ‘No doubt,’ he stated after ending the call, ‘the entire district will know you’re in labour before we even make it across the road to the hospital.’ She was still standing in the shower, her eyes closed as she rested her head against the tiles. ‘Has the next contraction started?’
‘No.’ The instant the word left her lips the pain returned. ‘I’ll change my answer—yes!’
‘Just over three minutes.’ He waited with her until he thought the pain had subsided. ‘Settling down?’
Her eyes snapped open and she glared at him.
‘Ah... I’ll take that as a no.’ He waited until she was finished, starting his watch again. ‘I’ll help you through the house and into the car.’
‘No car. Can’t sit down. I’ll walk.’
‘You want to walk to the hospital?’
‘It’s across the road. The car will take longer.’
‘I don’t know if it’s a good idea.’
‘Then I’ll be having it here because I can’t sit down!’ she shouted.
‘All right. Sure. We’ll walk.’ He held out his hand to her and when she didn’t take it he levelled her with a warning glare. ‘Accept my help, CJ. I want to give it and, more importantly, you need it.’
‘Fine.’
He laughed, the rich sound washing over her in waves of happiness. How was it possible that she could feel so happy and so cross with him at the same time? She knew the thought wasn’t worth dwelling on, so placed her hand in his as he helped her from the shower cubicle.
‘I know you’d probably feel better if you change but let’s get you over the road first. Someone can come back for clothes and things like that later.’
‘My bag is packed,’ she said, and motioned to the small suitcase by her bed. ‘Just pick it up.’ She waved her hand impatiently in the direction of the bag. ‘Oh, and grab my food bag, too. It’s next to it.’
‘Food bag?’ Ethan grabbed the bags she was pointing to and quickly peered inside the second one. ‘Chocolate spread, pickles and bananas. No wonder I haven’t heard you in the kitchen.’
‘I didn’t want to wake you.’
‘Hmm.’
‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ she asked angrily as they headed out the front door.
‘Nothing.’ He knew better than to start a discussion with a woman who was in this much pain. ‘Whatever makes things easier for you.’
‘Oh, how magnanimous of you,’ she retorted, and Ethan chuckled.
‘It doesn’t matter what I say at the moment, you’re going to bite my head off and that’s perfectly fine.’
CJ started to whimper but it ended up being a silly sort of chuckle. ‘I’m sorry, I’m just—’
‘You don’t need to apologise, or explain.’ They went slowly, taking small but steady steps, out the front door and across the lawn. They’d just crossed the road when the next contraction hit.
‘Right on time,’ Ethan announced. CJ gripped his arm tightly as she closed her eyes and concentrated through the pain. Neither of them moved until it was over. ‘The duration of the contraction is increasing.’
‘Tell me about it.’
He let go of her hand and flexed his fingers. ‘Just getting the blood flowing again, ready for next time.’
CJ laughed, then was overcome by a sense of gratitude. ‘Thank you, Ethan. Thank you for helping me.’
‘Hey, no problem.’ He took her hand once more, the other still carrying her bags. ‘The ground’s a bit uneven here.’ They started off again, little baby steps, slowly getting closer to the hospital. Not far from the front door she gripped his hand and leaned in closer. Ethan put the bags down and rubbed her back with his other hand, hoping it did something to bring her relief. He felt utterly helpless and wasn’t really sure what he should or shouldn’t be doing, but as she wasn’t yelling at him, he took this as a good sign.
The night CNC came rushing out with a wheelchair. Ethan shook his head. ‘CJ prefers to walk.’
‘I don’t prefer it,’ she snapped as the contraction eased. ‘I can’t sit down.’
‘Walking will help speed up the labour,’ Bonnie told her, as she took the bags from Ethan.
‘I think it’s moving along pretty fast all by itself.’
‘Good. Donna’s on her way. Let’s get you inside and see what’s happening.’
They made a stop-start procession up the corridor, with CJ having another contraction in the middle. She leaned her head against Ethan’s shoulder and he rubbed her back soothingly. When it passed, the sister led her into the delivery room. The bed had a floral, frilly spread on it with several throw cushions, making it seem more homely.
CJ had delivered several babies in this room, had walked passed it several times and had always thought it looked very pretty. Now...she wanted to hurl the cushions at the window and rake the feminine cover from the bed. She was in pain and the last thing she wanted was pretty, relaxing things around her.
Where were the drugs?
Oh, it was wonderful that Donna was on her way, that Ethan and the night CNC were being ever so attentive, but where was the anaesthetist? He was the one who could give her some pain relief, an epidural—anything.
‘Charlie. Ring Charlie,’ she said.
‘I’ve already called him. He’s on his way.’
CJ glared at Bonnie. ‘Go and get him now.’
‘I’ll settle her in,’ Ethan remarked, noticing the surprised look on Bonnie’s face.
‘I don’t need anyone to settle me,’ CJ added. ‘I’m fine. Women have babies all the time and now it’s my turn and I’m fine!’
‘Yes, you are,’ Ethan pacified as he tossed the cushions off the bed onto a chair and pulled the bedspread back. CJ smirked in a self-satisfied way at the inanimate objects, glad of his rough treatment of them. He wound the bed down so it was easier for her to get on but she found she couldn’t.
‘Can’t lie down either.’ She looked at him, her eyes beginning to fill with tears. ‘I can’t sit down, I can’t lie down and my legs are aching and tired.’
‘I know. I know,’ he soothed. ‘Lean on me.’ He gathered her near so her head was resting on his shoulder.
‘I’m sorry if I’m being horrible.’
He laughed. ‘You’re not.’
‘Liar.’
He laughed again. ‘Probably.’
She pulled back to look at him, her terrified green eyes meeting his sympathetic blue ones. ‘Thank you,’ she whispered.
Ethan felt a knot of tension, need and anger churn in his gut. Tension because he was fighting as hard as he could against the attraction. Need because it was becoming impossible not to give in and kiss her, and anger against her husband for leaving her to cope with this experience all alone.
She was an amazing woman and his feelings for her were intensifying with every moment he spent in her company. It wasn’t right. He knew that, but he also knew the wrong thing could sometimes feel so right.
He swallowed over all his thoughts and emotions and bent down to kiss her forehead. ‘You’ll be fine.’ He felt her body tense and knew another contraction was on the way. He helped her through it, his eyes close
d as they leaned against each other, both concentrating on what was happening. When he opened his eyes, it was to find Donna standing in the doorway, watching them.
‘Good evening. You look as though you’re having loads of fun.’ She came in and patted CJ lightly on the shoulder. ‘Right. Has anyone checked the baby yet?’
Ethan waited for CJ to answer but when she didn’t, he shook his head.
‘Can you get up on the bed?’
‘Too uncomfortable,’ she mumbled.
‘OK. Stay where you are, I’ll work around you.’ For the next ten minutes there were people in and out of the room, the baby’s heartbeat was checked and found to be perfect. CJ was given a once-over by Donna and pronounced to be almost nine centimetres dilated.
‘That’s very quick. Hang on, your sister had quick labours with her children, didn’t she?’
‘Four hours for the first and two hours for the second,’ CJ said softly between contractions. ‘Looks as though you might break her record.’ Donna chuckled. ‘I was in labour for over fifteen hours and that was with my last one.’
‘Where’s Charlie?’
‘I’ll go check.’ Donna headed out, leaving CJ leaning on Ethan, closing her eyes as she tried to rest between contractions. It was a good half an hour later before Charlie walked in the door and by that time CJ was fully dilated.
‘Where have you been?’ she growled at the anaesthetist when he gave her a cheery greeting.
‘It’s always nice to feel so appreciated,’ Charlie joked as he read CJ’s chart, checking that both mother and baby were doing well. ‘OK. You have no allergies so let me go get you some—’
Before Charlie could finish his sentence, CJ had another contraction but this one gripped her abdomen even tighter and, quite involuntarily, she gave a push.
‘Was that a push?’ Donna asked. They all waited and when CJ involuntarily pushed again, Charlie chuckled.
‘Well, you don’t need me any more,’ he joked.
‘Yes. Yes, I do.’ CJ grabbed him by the front of his shirt and dragged his face closer. ‘Give me something. Anything!’
‘I can’t, CJ. You know that.’
‘The window has closed?’
‘The window has closed,’ Charlie confirmed.
‘Open a door,’ she whimpered, and let go of his shirt.
‘CJ.’ Charlie smoothed a comforting hand over her forehead. ‘You’ll be fine. The baby’s fine. There seems to be an abundance of people in here, so I’ll be in the kitchen if you need me.’
CJ reached out a hand but he was gone. Her window was shut and so was the door. Why couldn’t he open it again? She stuck out her lower lip. ‘I don’t want to do this any more.’
Donna laughed. ‘You’re doing a great job and the fact that you’re saying you want to go home proves that everything is moving along nicely.’ When the next contraction gripped, CJ pushed again. She rested her head on Ethan’s shoulder between contractions and closed her eyes, conserving what energy she had.
It seemed to take for ever but three hours later Donna told her to give one more push and the head was finally out. The cord wasn’t around the neck and they waited while the shoulders rotated. CJ had managed to get comfortable on a beanbag as her legs had eventually given up supporting her.
Ethan held her hand tightly, dabbing her forehead with a damp cloth. She hadn’t wanted him to go and he’d made no move to leave. Now...they were almost finished and she could hardly believe the man she’d known for only a few weeks had stayed to help her through this.
CJ knew it was ridiculous but...she loved him. Whether it was the love of a lifetime or a love of utter gratitude, she had no way of knowing. Perhaps it was the hormones or the intimacy of their present situation but her feelings would not be repressed. The next contraction started to grip and she squeezed his hand once more.
‘That’s it. Good girl. Keep going, CJ,’ Donna coached. ‘Snatch a breath—one more push and—’
CJ felt the baby leave her and was amazed at the immediate sense of loss. The intimacy only she could share with her child was over. Everything was silent for a second or two and she didn’t even realise that Ethan had let go of her hand to quickly assist Donna—and then it came. The most glorious sound in the entire world—the cry of a newborn babe.
Donna placed the child into CJ’s waiting arms. ‘You have a daughter.’
The loss she’d just felt vanished into thin air as she held her little girl for the very first time, kissing the soft, downy head.
‘Oh, baby.’ Her eyes filled with tears that spilled over. ‘Baby, you’re here.’
‘What are you going to call her?’ The question came from Ethan, his voice not quite so steady. CJ looked up to see his own eyes glistening with tears. She reached out a hand to him, which he took, drawing him closer.
‘Ethan...’ Her throat was scratchy and sore and with the swell of emotion she felt, it was no wonder it was hard to speak.
‘Really? I think you can think of a prettier name than that,’ he whispered with a soft chuckle.
She laughed and swallowed. ‘Will you help me?’
‘Name her?’ When she nodded, he smiled. ‘I’d be delighted and honoured.’
The child in her arms slept, their gazes held and slowly but surely he moved in closer. The kiss he pressed on her lips was the most natural thing he’d ever done. The feeling of coming home was the most natural feeling he’d ever felt.
And he was at a loss to explain why neither terrified him.
* * *
‘Have you come up with any more names?’ Donna asked as she came around to check on CJ. CJ was sitting in bed, propped up by pillows, feeding her beautiful daughter. ‘Everyone’s on tenterhooks to find out what you’ll call her, and discover who has won the competition.’
‘Who picked the right date?’
‘Idris at the supermarket. Robert chose the correct time of birth so now we’re just waiting on the name.’
CJ chuckled. ‘I love the way they all get involved.’
‘I can’t believe she’s two days old and you still haven’t even thought of a name.’
‘I want to find one that suits her. I liked Susan yesterday but...’ She trailed off and shook her head.
‘Has Ethan been in this morning?’
‘Not yet but we’re expecting him soon.’ The baby had finished feeding and CJ sat her up to burp her. ‘Aren’t we a beautiful girl. We’re expecting Ethan really soon. Yes, we are. Oh, you’re so precious.’ CJ kissed her daughter’s head, breathing in the scent and filing the memory away for later. Once the baby had released her wind, CJ re-wrapped the gorgeous girl in a blanket. ‘I like the name Joy. Are you a Joy?’ She smiled. ‘Yes. Yes you are a joy, an absolute joy.’
‘Joy?’ Ethan queried as he strode into the room. ‘Joy Nicholls. Has a ring to it. I gather you’ve given up Susan?’
‘Yes. I don’t think she looks like a Susan any more.’
‘What about... Elizabeth?’
CJ watched as he scooped the baby up into his arms as though it were the most natural thing in the world. He kissed her head and rubbed his cheek against her softness, breathing that gorgeous baby scent in the same way CJ had.
‘Elizabeth. Elizabeth Nicholls.’ She mulled it over. ‘I quite like it. Elizabeth. Does she look like an Elizabeth, Ethan?’
He studied the little girl who was going to sleep in his arms. ‘You know, I think she does. And also I like Lizzie, for when she’s cheeky and mischievous.’
‘Where did you get Elizabeth from?’ Donna asked.
‘It was my great-grandmother’s name,’ Ethan stated.
‘It’s very pretty.’
‘We need something that goes with Elizabeth,’ Ethan continued, rocking the baby gently from side to side. CJ liked watching him hold the baby, liked the way he looked wit
h the little girl in his arms, liked the way he’d just loved her so unconditionally. She’d been worried that being at the birth, helping her, holding the baby—all of it would have brought back horrible memories for him but, in fact, it was the opposite. It was as though Elizabeth’s birth had helped him to heal. Still, CJ was cautious. There were still too many questions in the air surrounding Ethan, herself and the baby, but for now, naming the gorgeous girl was enough to deal with.
They all thought. ‘What about Janice?’ Donna asked.
CJ pondered, then shook her head.
‘What about Jean?’ Ethan suggested. ‘After you, Claudia-Jean. You could hyphenate her name, too.’
‘EJ and CJ? Well, the Jean part of my name was after my mother so that way Elizabeth would be named after both of us.’ She laughed.
‘And she deserves to carry the family name—your name,’ he continued. ‘You did an amazing job, bringing her into this world.’ He looked at the baby. ‘Elizabeth-Jean Nicholls.’
‘It’s pretty,’ Donna remarked. She looked from one to the other. ‘Decided?’
CJ smiled at Ethan. ‘Decided. Elizabeth-Jean she is.’
‘This calls for a celebration,’ Donna said, and headed off to tell the rest of the staff. After Donna had left the room, CJ peered at her daughter.
‘Is she asleep?’
‘Yes.’
‘Do you want to put her down?’
‘No.’ He smiled sheepishly and sat down on the bed next to CJ. ‘I like holding her.’
‘Me too. I was supposed to put her in her cot last night but I just didn’t want to let her go so I slept with her in my arms all night long. Snuggled together.’ Her smile was bright and she sighed with happiness.
‘So how are you feeling today?’
‘Better.’
Ethan angled Elizabeth up in his arms so they could both look at the baby’s sleeping face. ‘She’s beautiful, CJ. Simply beautiful.’
‘She is, isn’t she,’ CJ whispered rhetorically, brushing her finger lightly over Elizabeth’s cheek. ‘I can’t believe how perfectly I love her. I didn’t know she was missing from my life until she was here.’ She chuckled and looked at him. ‘I don’t know if that makes any sense at all.’
