by Rachel Lee
But Cash approached her differently. His mouth nestled against hers, as if her lips were a delicate flower full of nectar he wanted to sip. It was such a supple, warm feeling that she reacted in a way she never had before. She felt herself grow soft and still inside, as if she were chocolate melting in the sun. Even as she softened and began to feel all warm and gooey, the twinges she had felt between her legs began to transform into a slow, steady throb. Soon, she was sure, her legs wouldn’t be able to support the weight that seemed to be growing between them.
He didn’t devour her, not in any way. He held her shoulders, steadying her, but didn’t swallow her in his arms. He kept sipping at her lips, ever so carefully sucking them and licking them with the tip of his tongue until they became exquisitely sensitive, a part of the passion that steadily overtook her.
At last she could no longer contain herself. She slipped her arms around his neck and responded in kind, giving him the same light kisses. As she did so, she brought the entire length of her body into contact with him.
Hard met soft and a fuse ignited. All of him was hard, like a rock wall, but it felt so good to be pressed against him. All those muscles...for the first time a man’s strength seemed to promise safety.
A sigh escaped her, and her mouth opened, inviting him. He took the invitation carefully, sliding his tongue slowly past her teeth, tangling with hers. This was a kiss? Her mind spun even as the ache inside her built.
He lifted his head, and she forced her eyes open, a shaft of fear piercing her. She didn’t want him to stop. Not now. A whole new world was opening to her.
But he cupped her cheek in one of his work-roughened hands, brushing his thumb over her cheekbone, smiling sleepily. “Okay?” he asked hoarsely.
“Better than okay,” she answered honestly. She pulled her arms down from his neck and gripped his narrow hips as if she would pull him inside of her. Between them a baby stirred.
Feeling it, he lowered his hand and pressed it to her belly, smiling a little more broadly. “I’ll be careful.”
She was now as sure of that as she had ever been of anything. Impatience began to grow in her. She wanted, needed, had to have answers to the ache that pounded inside her, the desire that had blossomed like a full red rose, the answer to promises that had been made but had never before in her life been kept.
Whoever she had been before, she now became a woman in the most basic way possible, needing to have a man buried deep inside her, sweeping her away to mysteries she could only imagine. Everything else vanished before the forces unleashed in her.
“Steady,” Cash murmured. “I’m going to unwrap you like a present.”
At first she knew a moment’s confusion, but then he reached for the snaps on the front of her shirt. She felt the slightest qualm as she realized she would be naked with this man. Hell, she hadn’t even been fully naked when Scott forced himself on her, and now her figure had changed and...
“Hope?”
The question reached her. She realized she had looked down and closed her eyes.
“Are you sure?”
She slowly lifted her gaze, battling back the aching web of need and fear that seemed to be engulfing her. “Cash?”
“Yes, sweetie?”
“Can we just... I need to move fast. Things keep... I don’t want to get scared or change my mind. I want you.”
His face softened. “The whole point of going slow is to let you change your mind.”
“I know. I... Just please, show me now, show me fast. Slow can come later.”
* * *
Cash, who felt like one great big nerve ending of passion, hesitated. He wanted to dive into her like a swimmer coming off the high board. But he understood her fears; he’d been trying to ease her into this. Now she wanted him to just love her right away so that she wouldn’t change her mind?
She had a hump she needed to get over, he realized. A major one. Maybe she felt it would be easier to just jump and see what was on the other side.
He knew it would be a risk. One wrong move on his part might cast her back into a nightmare. He didn’t want to accidentally do that to her, to make her even more messed up.
This time, the lady was asking, and she must be asking for a reason.
“Okay,” he said finally. “But you tell me if I do one thing that disturbs you, no matter how tiny.”
He felt a shiver course through her, and a sigh escaped her. “Just love me as if you loved me.”
Given that her one experience had been rape, he supposed that wasn’t the highest bar in the world. He gently maneuvered her over to his bed and urged her to sit.
Then he stepped back and began to shed his own clothes. If she was going to panic, this would do it, he reasoned. To be honest with himself, he knew he was rapidly reaching the point of no return. If there was going to be panic, he wanted it now.
His shirt went flying to a corner of the room. His undershirt followed it. He heard her draw a sharp breath, but ignored it. He reached for the snap of his jeans, paused just a moment, then took the plunge. Less than a minute later he stood before her fully naked, his raging erection plain for her to see.
Only then did he look at her.
She stared at him. He couldn’t quite read her expression, but her mouth hung open a bit, and her eyes ran over him, every bit of him. He felt the touch of her gaze as if she was painting him with fire.
“You’re beautiful,” she whispered finally. “Perfect. I’m not...”
“Oh, hush,” he said. He hoped he didn’t sound brusque, hoped a little humor tinged the words. At least she didn’t quail.
She reached out and nearly threw him over the cliff edge by closing her hand around his erection. He gritted his teeth as warm, soft skin enclosed him.
“You’re big,” she murmured. “Bigger than...”
Being only human, he couldn’t suppress a sense of pride. At least he had one edge over a rich senator wannabe. But there was an important matter at hand. Her hand. “You’re driving me crazy.”
She surprised him. “Good.”
That did it. He tugged her shirt off her, then pushed her back on the bed to yank off her jeans, undies and shoes.
Full breasts spilled free, then her gently rounded belly, her welcoming hips, her gorgeous legs and most of all her moist center that called to him like a siren.
“You’re exquisite,” he said thickly.
Her legs still hung over the edge of the bed and he dropped to his knees between them, opening her wide to his view and his touch. Then, carefully, he leaned over her, propping himself on his elbows, waiting for her to meet his gaze. At last she did.
He cupped her face between his hands, then bowed his head down until he nuzzled her breasts. He heard her inhale sharply, then her hands gripped his head, tugging him closer. He needed no clearer message.
Tongue and lips found her nipple, licking and sucking gently. She bucked up against him with her hips. Shifting his weight, he reached down and felt her dewy center. His touch caused a shiver to run through her, one that enhanced his own passion and made him feel good about loving her all at the same time.
“Cash, please...”
The words were suddenly the most beautiful in the world. She didn’t want to wait. She really didn’t. He hoped he could bring her along with him because every hammering cell in his body warned him that he wasn’t going to last long.
Guiding himself, he slid slowly into her. She was tight, so he took care to ease his way. Then, keeping his hand between them so he could gently rub the knot of nerves that would help her through her journey to satisfaction, he began to pump slowly.
Sigh after sigh escaped her, then a cry of astonishment. He gritted his teeth, fighting his own need to erupt, nearly mindless with the pleasure she evoked in him. Her whimpers and moans rea
ssured him, but he had to withhold until...
He felt the orgasm roll through her, felt her entire body convulse with it. Then, and only then, did he plunge one last time and explode, feeling as if his entire being jetted into her.
* * *
Pain and pleasure both gripped Hope in those last seconds. She dug her nails into his shoulders, wanting, needing, and not even sure what it was she was pursuing until it hit her, launching her into a place she had never visited before, shattering her in a thousand flaming pieces, and sensation so powerful nothing else existed.
Everything seemed to go black, her body shuddering with completion. Then slowly, ever so slowly, she found herself again, lying beneath the weight of a man who had just showed her that heaven could be here and now.
Little shudders, aftershocks, shook her from time to time, gradually easing. Eventually she became aware that her skin was slick and so was his, that the air felt chilly. That she never wanted to move again.
But he moved her. All too quickly he pulled back, then lifted her. The next thing she was under the blankets with him. He wrapped his arms around her gently, holding her close.
“You okay?” he asked, his voice barely more than a whisper.
“That was incredible,” she breathed. “I never dreamed...”
“Do I pound my chest now?”
Much to her amazement, he shifted the mood and she giggled. Actually giggled. “Pound away,” she joked.
But there was no chest pounding. Only then did she become aware how tense he must have been, because she felt him completely relax. For the first time she considered that this must have been scary for him, too, making love to a woman whose only experience had been rape.
“Thank you,” she said timidly. “Thank you for that. It was wonderful.”
“For me, too. Amazing. I was so worried about you, though.”
“I could tell. You finally relaxed.” She tipped her head a bit to look at him. “Do you think you’ll stay relaxed now? Can we do it again?”
He laughed and rolled her over a little, laying his hand on her belly. The baby stirred and his smile deepened. “We can do it again. As many times as you want. We barely scraped the surface.”
She burrowed her cheek into his shoulder. “I wondered. I’m sorry I pressed you, but I was so afraid I might get too scared.”
“I figured you were trying to get over the hump. I guess you did.”
“Completely. After Scott I thought I’d never want to lie with a man like this.”
She felt him tense a little again. “How mean was he to you?”
“He hit me,” she admitted. “He claimed I was cold, inadequate and that I owed him sex because we were engaged. He never... I mean, he just threw me down, pulled my skirt up and...did it. Then it was over. He stood up, told me to stop sniveling, that I’d better get used to it. Then he just walked out.”
“Good God!”
She squeezed her eyes shut. “I didn’t want to get used to that.”
“Of course you didn’t.”
“But he was nothing like you, Cash. You were so careful of me, so kind, so...exciting.”
“Be careful or you’re going to have me wanting to pound my chest again.” He gave her a squeeze. “This is supposed to be a beautiful thing, sweetie. It’s supposed to bring joy and pleasure to both people. What Scott did was inexcusable. I may have to forgive him, though.”
“What? Why?” Everything inside her tightened. Surely he couldn’t be excusing that man.
“Because except for his criminality I’d never have met you.”
Astonishment filled her, followed by a warmth that penetrated to her very core. “You’re a sweet man, Cash.”
“Don’t put that into general circulation. I’m a tough rancher.”
“I’m sure you’re both.”
He kissed her, another of those light butterfly kisses that ignited her deep inside. Just a few months ago she had been unable to imagine ever feeling this way, ever wanting to be close to a man in this way or any other. Two weeks ago, she had felt as if she were fighting for her very life and the life of her baby.
Now here she was feeling safe and sheltered in a way she had never dreamed possible. But maybe she had never dreamed of feeling this way because she had always been safe, always sheltered and had never imagined needing any more. But she had. Life had taught her that lesson brutally.
It had been a painful awakening, but Cash was right about one thing: she was grateful to have ended up here.
At least for now.
Chapter Eight
Hope would have been delighted to make love again with Cash right away, but she didn’t want to press him. A whole, new and wonderful world had opened to her, and she wanted to explore its dimensions while she had the chance.
He seemed to prefer lazing at the moment, and when he at last pulled away from her it was to say, “Let’s get a bit of a snack. My stomach’s rumbling.”
A snack? Really? But then she realized she was hungry, as well. So she didn’t object when he went to her room to find her nightclothes and slippers. Once he returned, he dressed her, making it into a devilish delight, brushing his hand, fingertips and lips here and there until she felt as if her whole body was humming. Almost breathless, she said, “If you want to eat, you’d better stop that.”
He grinned. “Just making promises for a little later.”
Promises? She loved the sound of that. Downstairs in the kitchen, he made her sit then asked if anything didn’t sound good to her. “Because,” he said, “I want to be bad.”
“Bad how?” He was making her smile again. He made it so easy to smile sometimes.
“I want to go into the freezer and get a coffee cake to thaw. Lots of fat, sugar and cinnamon.”
“Ooh, that is bad,” she agreed. All her life she had avoided such foods because they weren’t healthful, they might make her gain weight, or—horrors—make her break out. “Yummy. I’m all in.”
So he pulled a wrapped coffee cake out of the freezer and put it in the microwave. “Now what do you want to drink?” he asked. “I know you like tea. If I give you milk you might get sleepy.”
“I don’t want to get sleepy.”
He waggled his eyebrows at her. “Good. Neither do I. I wonder if either of us will get enough sleep to deal with all those girls tomorrow.”
“Beyond the makeup, I doubt they’ll want us around to deal with much.”
“True.” He laughed and began to brew water for her tea. “Me, I’m having coffee, so look out.”
He amazed her with how comfortable he seemed to be with them having become lovers. She’d expected awkwardness, maybe some embarrassment, but there was none. None at all. And certainly he wasn’t walking away as Scott had, treating her like trash to be discarded.
The memory darkened her mood. It didn’t take Cash long to pick up on it. “Hope? Memories?”
She gave a jerky nod. “Not because of you. Well, maybe because of you because you’re so different.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment.” While the microwave hummed, the water heated and the coffee brewed, he pulled a chair over so he could sit beside her and put his arm around her. “Want to talk?”
“Why should he blight this night?”
“But he already is.”
She glanced at Cash, then looked down. “He made me feel like trash. Like something to be kicked to the curb.”
His arm tightened around her shoulders. “Can I say I’d like to punch him?”
“Be my guest. I wish I had. I was just so stunned. I don’t know how to explain it, but it seemed to happen in slow motion, and yet be over so fast. How is that possible?”
“I guess shocking things can do that to us.” He rubbed her arm gently. “I wish I could make it go away
.”
“I think you have. Most of it, anyway.” Then she lifted her chin. “But I wouldn’t wish this baby away for anything.”
He gathered her to him, until she was sitting on his lap surrounded by his arms. “I’m sure you wouldn’t. You didn’t fight this hard to keep it just to wish it away.”
“No, I didn’t.” A moment of despair washed through her. “It’s going to be hard. I know that, but I’m not sure I can even imagine how hard. I have to find work, I have to find someone to watch my baby while I work, I have to...”
“Shh,” he said. “First of all, you have a job right here. It’s not going away. Secondly, there’s lots of help around here and you won’t need to leave your baby with someone else. As for the rest...you’ve got plenty of time to work it out, Hope. Plenty.”
“You gave that to me.”
“I’m not sure who gave who what,” he replied, a tremor of laughter in his voice.
“But I wasn’t trying to get you to say that I’d always have a job here. I wasn’t...”
“Shh,” he said again, laying his finger over her lips. “I know you weren’t asking. You were worrying. Even I can tell the difference. But who knows? You might find out you can’t stand it here indefinitely.”
Her heart squeezed, because she knew those weren’t just random thoughts. He’d had a wife who couldn’t stand it here. For him that was a reality, one he couldn’t overlook.
He slid her back onto her seat, leaving her feeling oddly bereft, and went to get them coffee cake. Idly she wondered just what a woman would have to do to prove to him that she wouldn’t abandon him, then told herself to stop having such ridiculous thoughts. He’d brought her here to look after his daughter, and making love with her—at her request—didn’t change the basic facts.
She was probably the last person in the world he would expect to choose life on a ranch permanently. He must look at her and see a mostly useless woman who was accustomed to the finer things he’d never be able to provide. Why would he ever trust her to stay?
Especially if she kept bringing up reasons for him to fire her. She sighed quietly, savoring a mouthful of sinful, sugary delight, and figured she’d better sort out her head while she had time.
