by Rachel Lee
She’d been warned in her early education that women tended to attach their hearts to men they had sex with, and men had no such feelings. She needed to guard her heart here and remember that his wasn’t at all involved.
Enjoy tonight, she ordered herself. Enjoy this unexpected offering and healing. Tomorrow she’d be back to Angie’s problems and her own—deciding the best future for herself and her child. Cash was right about one thing, he was apparently willing to give her all the time she needed—even if she did keep telling him why he should get rid of her.
He was also right about the plastic doll. It was so deeply engrained in her that she was astonished that tonight she had managed to ask for what she wanted. It felt so surprisingly good that she vowed to keep it up.
Maybe little by little she’d find the woman buried under the restricted upbringing.
She lifted her head suddenly.
“What?” Cash asked. He had finished his coffee cake and was now sipping his coffee.
“I was just thinking about trying to find out who I really am after so many years of trying to be what everyone demanded of me. Then I realized something.”
He turned to look at her fully. “What?”
“That I found myself over the last four months.” A smile began to dawn on her face. “I stood up to them all. I wouldn’t let them force me into something I hated. That was me.”
“It certainly was.” He smiled now, too. “Just hang on to that woman. Don’t fall back into bad habits. More cake?”
She shook her head. “No, thanks. I’m full now.”
“I’m going to have just one more piece, then take you upstairs again for a longer exploration of all your charms.”
The words melted her. She was ready to go right then.
* * *
This time he led her up the stairs, holding her hand. With each step, excitement grew in her. Her insides fluttered with anticipated pleasure, and she could hardly wait to find out if it would be as good the second time. Or if it would be better.
It was certainly slower. He shed his jeans and T-shirt quickly, as if he wanted them out of the way, but when he approached her, he moved slowly, baring an inch of her flesh at a time, kissing each newly revealed bit. A tug that brought her robe and nightgown off her shoulder, followed by light kisses and a teasing lap of his tongue.
Each kiss felt like a mini explosion between her legs as her body leaped into readiness eagerly. Her robe slipped away until she stood in her thin nightgown. He surprised her then by kissing her and caressing her through the fabric, leaving occasional damp spots behind. The chilliness of them merely added to the heat between her legs, to the exquisite sensations that began to pour through her like hot honey.
He kissed her lips again, lightly as before, until her head sagged back and her mouth opened helplessly. It was an invitation he ignored, instead stepping back a bit so he could fondle her breasts with his hands. The brush of his thumbs over her engorged nipples drew a groan from her and showed her for the first time that her breasts were linked to her very center. Each brush of his thumbs caused a clenching between her legs.
Everything except Cash disappeared from her awareness. She gripped his shoulders to steady herself and let him have his way with her. Her body held secrets he seemed to know but she was only beginning to discover.
Soon her breasts began to ache, begging for more than the light caress of his thumbs. As if he knew it, he bowed his head and pulled one of her nipples into his mouth along with her nightgown. He sucked on her, gently at first, then more strongly until she felt her hips respond, rocking forward with each movement of his mouth. Her entire body seemed to be in thrall to his mouth.
His hands gripped her hips, steadying her. “Now me,” he said hoarsely.
With difficulty, she opened her eyes, awash in a tide of hunger. “What...”
Gently he guided her head to one of his own small, pebbled nipples.
She understood at once and swept her tongue over it. The shudder that ran through him emboldened her, and she licked, then sucked. A groan escaped him, and his hand tightened on her head.
Oh, she liked being able to do this to him. Eagerly, she moved to his other nipple, drawing the same response again, feeling for the first time the power of being a woman.
Without warning, he pulled her nightgown over her head, leaving her as naked as he was. Before she could react, he dropped to his knees in front of her.
“Hang on,” he muttered to her.
She wasn’t sure what he meant until she felt him nudge her legs apart and then bury his face in her dewy nest.
His tongue touched the sensitive knot of nerves and she cried out. Never had she imagined that something could hurt and feel so good all at once. She grabbed his shoulders for fear she would fall over, but he was remorseless.
His tongue was like a lash, lifting her into the farthest reaches of airless space. She couldn’t catch her breath. When she found some it was only to cry out as pain and pleasure melded finally into a sensation so exquisite she could never have imagined it.
His name passed her lips like a chant or a prayer. Her legs began to shake before the power of the building sensations deep within her. She didn’t think she could survive this.
At last he showed her some mercy, but only to ease her back onto the bed with her hips near the edge, then he resumed licking her in the wickedest torture she had ever known. Her mind seemed ready to explode from an overload, then it quit completely, leaving her mindless with the need he drew out of her.
At that moment she wouldn’t have known if the house collapsed on her. She just never wanted it to stop.
Finally, finally, when she was sure she couldn’t bear another moment, she crested, feeling like a rocket that shot over the moon only to find herself falling...falling...oh so gently falling back to earth.
* * *
Cash gathered her to him under the blankets feeling pretty pleased with himself. He knew where he had taken her. She hadn’t concealed that from him at all. Enslaved by the passion, she had shared it with him in her quivers, her cries and her paroxysms. He was quite certain no one had ever showed her that before.
Sandy had been a fair lover, but kind of a selfish one. The other occasional ladies over the years had been more skilled at pleasing him, but had given him little of themselves.
This untutored young woman had just given him the greatest gift of all: her unadulterated, unconcealed response. She had journeyed without restraint, and damn, that was wonderful.
He wondered if she would fall asleep. She certainly felt limp in his arms. It was okay if she did because at the moment he was feeling almost like a superhero.
Eventually she stirred a little and murmured something.
“Hmm?” he said. “I didn’t hear you.”
“What about you?” she said. Her voice still quivered and she still sounded a bit weak.
“I’m fine. Better than fine, actually. But if you want, have your way with me.”
She didn’t respond immediately and for a few seconds he wondered if he had frightened her.
“I don’t know how,” she said in a small voice.
“Oh, that’s easy,” he answered. “When you get your energy back, just explore me. Learn me. Find your own way around.”
At that her head lifted, and for the first time their gazes met. “Find my own way around?” she repeated, sounding as if her energy was returning.
“Sure. I’m already hot. Anything you do is only going to make me hotter.”
A slow smile dawned on her face. “Really?” It almost sounded like a purr.
“Yeah, really. Or not. Up to you.”
“I thought we were in this together.”
He chuckled quietly. “We definitely just made love. You don’t think you were alone,
do you? Funny, but none of that would have happened except for the two of us...”
She interrupted him, giving his shoulder a gentle shove. “That isn’t what I meant, and you know it.”
He just winked at her.
She rose up on her elbow. “You’re feeling pretty good right now.”
“No kidding. Nothing quite like reducing a woman to a quivering mass of happiness to make a guy feel like a million dollars.”
She blushed faintly. “I want to give you what you gave me.”
“Have at it,” he said, and threw the blankets back. “I’m all yours.”
She bit her lip, studying him, and he wondered if she would lose her nerve. He hadn’t been kidding when he said he was already hot. His erection throbbed demandingly, and he could easily have just rolled over and taken her. But he wanted to see what she would do.
Hanging on to his urges wasn’t easy, but he felt she needed the freedom to take what she wanted on her own. To decide for herself where they would go next. To discover her own powers. It wouldn’t take much.
All of a sudden she looked impish. “Well, I know you like this.” She brushed her fingers over his nipples. He stirred with pleasure. “And this.” She closed her hand around his erection, and this time a moan escaped him.
But then she pulled her hand back. “But what else?” She seemed to be pondering, and he had to force himself to hold still. Wait. Just wait.
In one smooth movement, she rose up and straddled him. The sight of her above him was almost enough to push him over the edge. Her breasts, perfect in every respect, hung over him. Looking down he could see her spread legs and the thatch of hair it would be so easy to reach out and touch.
He had a moment when he wondered why he was being stubborn about this. When he just wanted to let go and take her. But then she lowered her head and kissed him, and as she did so her breasts grazed his chest. The touch seared him like flame. Then her kisses moved from his mouth, down his shoulders, sprinkling more sparklers over his skin. He could feel his manhood leap in response to every touch.
She toyed with his nipples until he groaned helplessly again and again. Then she rescinded that delight and began to move her mouth lower, across his abdomen. He bucked gently a few times, but anticipation was beginning to overwhelm him. He knew exactly where she was heading. He just wondered if she would have the nerve to do it.
Wondering held him suspended between heaven and hell. He gritted his teeth, fisted his hands and clung to his self-control like a tightrope walker without a net.
His blood pounded in his ears, his loins ached maddeningly, overpoweringly. Twizzles of electricity wormed through him. He’d never really surrendered himself this way before, and he wasn’t sure he’d make it. He could just erupt right now before he found out...
Then she did it. He felt it instantly like an electric goad. Her tongue touched his member, then her lips followed. He waited in unbearable uncertainty, afraid Hope might pull away.
But she didn’t. Moments later, she claimed as much of him as she could, taking him deep within her mouth. It was hard not to press deeper, when all he wanted to do was plunge all the way, but he held himself still even as moans of pleasure let her know how much he was loving this.
She pulled back, then took him inside her again. Several more times and he was lost. His release seemed to go on forever, but as completion finally filled him, bringing him back from flight to the ground, he realized she was still there, still loving him...
He groaned again and rolled her over, kissing her deeply, the taste of her still rich in his mouth and now mingling with the taste of him in hers. Their tongues tangled, her arms welcomed him, until at long last he sagged, simply content to hold her close.
He wanted this night to never end. But it would, just like everything else.
He brushed away the gloomy thought and gave himself over to the miracle resting in his arms.
* * *
Everything changed in the morning. It had to. Cash still had chores, and while he lingered with her over breakfast and apologized a million times and kissed her a million more, cattle couldn’t wait.
Hope knew a selfish moment of disappointment, but she understood. She really did. She might emotionally feel as if she ought to be on a honeymoon, but she wasn’t. Neither of them were. Work needed doing, and she had to get ready for the night’s invasion.
Hattie had done the shopping as usual, laying in a large quantity of snacks and soft drinks, and some frozen pizza. She’d also picked up some cute paper plates and napkins to make it all feel more special.
Hope chose to use the dining room. It had not been used once since her arrival, and she could understand why. The table would seat twelve, and despite the evident age level of everything in the room, it was a very formal place. Not a good choice for three people who were eating a warmed-up casserole.
But it would provide enough room for the makeup demonstration. She just wished she had more than one lighted mirror, but supposed they would manage by taking turns.
As she busied herself, however, her thoughts kept lingering over the night just past. Sometimes things so special happened that she wanted to relive them again and again, as if by doing so she could embed them permanently in memory in every shining detail. Like the time she had won the dressage competition. How many times had she relived that moment?
This was even more special. Her mind lingered over every remembered touch, every remembered sensation. Cash had opened a whole new world to her, and she suspected there was even more.
But one thing he had done for certain was to banish Scott’s attack. Or at least to diminish it. She felt like a survivor, and what’s more, she now believed that life could get better. That she could enjoy it again. That someday a real Prince Charming would sweep her off her feet for real.
Although, at the moment, she was feeling pretty much as if she had been swept away. Nothing would ever look the same to her again. She had found the gold at the end of the rainbow, and it wasn’t money.
She laughed at herself, to herself, almost giddy with her sense of self-discovery. She had fled her home with nothing, had fled her abuser successfully, and she had landed safely. When she had set out, there had been nothing but fear and determination to carry her forward into the scary unknown.
Now she had a place, a job and an incredible lover. Even if it didn’t last, she had measured herself and found she wasn’t wanting.
She wasn’t cold, as Scott had claimed. He just hadn’t turned her on. The more she thought about it, the less she believed that she had ever loved him. He had just been the right man, more her family’s choice than hers, and like some kind of sap she had just followed the road laid out for her, never questioning whether she was doing the right thing. She had been doing the only thing.
All of a sudden she felt liberated. Wrapping her arms around herself, she twirled with the wonderful sense of freedom. She could do it. She could do what she wanted. It might not always be easy, but she didn’t have to be what anyone else expected of her. Now she could figure out what she wanted to make of her life, build new dreams to explore.
Wow! It was as if the entire world had opened up to her, filled with possibilities she had never before imagined. So many possibilities that she could barely see them. New possibilities of every kind.
She pressed her hands to her stomach and thought of the baby growing within her. This child would never be limited as she had been. She would encourage her baby to try things, to find his or her own way, to meet his or her own needs. She would open vistas for it, not close them down.
The feeling was heady and carried her through the entire morning until Cash came in for lunch. Usually he carried a sandwich or two out with him, but today he had promised to return and he did.
She even gathered her courage and managed to make him a can of sou
p to go with whatever sandwich he chose. Following the directions was easy, and she wondered why she had ever been intimidated. Because her family had depended on professionals to do all this, and thus had made it seem arcane, especially with a cook who didn’t like trespassers in her kitchen?
She was smiling when Cash came through the door, bringing a taste of autumn chill with him. He sniffed and smiled. “Did you get adventurous?”
“I made a can of soup for you. I’m feeling pretty proud of myself right now. Although maybe I shouldn’t. It wasn’t hard and I’m wondering why I never tried before.”
“Assumptions,” he suggested. “Besides, hasn’t Hattie been teaching you?”
“She’s been trying. She moves fast, though, and I’m sometimes overwhelmed because I can’t keep up. But she did promise I’d cook dinner this week.”
“I’m looking forward to it.” Ditching his jacket over the back of a chair, he wrapped her in his arms and hugged her tightly. “Woman, I’ve been missing you all morning.”
He couldn’t have said anything more calculated to make her melt. “Nobody ever said that to me before,” she admitted as she rubbed her cheek against his shoulder.
“No one?” He sounded astonished. “Not your mother? Not your ex-boyfriend?”
“No one,” she admitted. Odd how it felt shameful, as if there was something wrong with her. It felt so good to hear it from him, but it made her feel so lacking that no one had ever missed her before.
“You, my darling,” he said, “have been moving in the wrong circles.”
That elicited a giggle from her, shifting her mood away from the darker one that had been trying to rise in her. “That’s funny.”
“Why?”
“Because I was raised my whole life to believe I had to move in the right circles. The approved circles. To hear them called wrong...” Another laugh escaped her. A liberating day indeed.
“Some folks are just stupid,” he said bluntly, then kissed her.
