by Judy Corry
I pinched my lips together, my legs bouncing as I tried to hold Luke's gaze.
"Would you think I'm crazy fickle if I admitted that I might like him too?" I asked when Luke ran back onto the field.
"Not at all," she said. "We can't always decide who we like, or when we finally realize it."
A moment later, Luke was weaving his way through the defensive line. He was so fast and powerful. So incredibly good with the ball. He commanded the whole field when he was out there. It was crazy how much had changed in the past couple of weeks. We were actually really good friends, and now that I'd given up my British Boy addiction, I was finally realizing what had been there all along.
Watching him in his element, you'd never know he was fighting demons of his own. He appeared to be the perfect picture of the All-American high school guy. Popular, friendly, fun, outgoing…and yeah, hot. Really, really hot. If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes, I never would have known he was having such a hard time right now. I wondered how many of his teammates even knew about his mom. It didn't seem like he'd told very many people about her.
"Earth to Ashlyn," Eliana spoke next to my ear, breaking my gaze away from Luke's tall, muscular frame.
I shook my head to get my mind out of the temporary daze. "Sorry. Were you saying something?"
She looked around, as if to assure no one was listening in on our conversation. "Have you ever wondered if Luke might be Imposter Boy?"
My eyes went wide. I felt dizzy at her suggestion. "I—" I licked my lips, which had gone dry at her words. "That never occurred to me."
"He does fit the description. You have to admit that."
I nodded, my gaze back on Luke as he ran off the field for a timeout. Could Luke be the guy I'd been messaging? They were about the same height and build. And the more I'd gotten to know Luke over the past weeks, I'd seen a much different side to him. Him being British Boy would actually be kind of perfect. It would be like having the emotional connection I'd always been looking for, along with the friendship and attraction that I'd always wanted in a boyfriend.
But no. It couldn't be him. I would have known, wouldn't I? They smelled completely different.
"No, I don't think so."
"But it makes you think, doesn't it?"
It did… But, no. It couldn't be him. Luke was known for being a prankster, but there was no way he'd do something like that. He would have said something about it when I talked to him about British Boy. He wasn’t the type to lie about something like that.
He was simply just another guy at our school who happened to fit the characteristics for the guy I'd never actually seen.
The whistle blew and the clock started again. We were tied now. Just one more touchdown and we could win.
Jess appeared at the edge of our row. I stood so he could sit on the other side of Eliana.
"Where's Breanna?" Eliana asked him once he'd settled in next to her.
He shrugged and looked out at the field. "We broke up."
"Sorry to hear that," Eliana offered.
He glanced back at her. "It's fine. It was only a couple of weeks. Nothing to cry over."
"Looks like we'll be going out for smoothies after all," I said under my breath to Eliana. She acted like she was annoyed at the thought of losing another bet, but since I was watching carefully, I didn't miss the look of relief in her eyes. She may not know who she liked yet either, but it was obvious she preferred to have my brother sitting beside her. Right where he belonged.
Saturday dragged on as I waited for the time for Luke and me to finally hang out. I had the whole evening planned out in my mind. After seeing him at the game and realizing how much I liked him, I couldn't mess things up anymore. I'd already talked way too much about other guys around him, and then I'd been an idiot and turned my head when he tried to kiss me at my house. I didn't have time to waste or room for stupid decisions. So the first thing I needed to do was try to look as good as he did. Which was going to be hard since he looked too good for this earth.
I dug through my closet until I found my favorite blouse—a white, ruffled linen shirt that would go perfectly with my new light pink skirt. I'd noticed Luke eyeing my legs a few times over the past week, so I hoped this would help keep his interest. I went downstairs to wait for him to pick me up.
Eliana and Jess were sitting at the table, playing a game of Boggle when I walked into the dining room. They acted like such an old married couple sometimes.
Eliana raised an eyebrow when she saw me. "What are you all dressed up for?"
"It's not too much, is it?" I smoothed my skirt down with my hands. "Luke and I are going dancing tonight."
Jess turned around to look at me. "Sure, it's fine, if you're into the whole showing-off-your-underwear thing."
Eliana slapped Jess's arm.
"I have shorts under this," I argued.
Eliana turned away from Jess. "Don't listen to your overprotective brother. You look great. Where are you going?"
"Sasha's, that dance club in Syracuse. They're holding an under-eighteen night tonight."
"What a great idea." Jess scooted away from the table. "Eliana and I will join you. Someone has to watch out for you."
I rolled my eyes. "I'm a big girl, Jess. I can handle dancing alone with Luke for one night."
Though maybe this would be a way to finally get them together.
Before I could take back my words, Jess shrugged. "Suit yourself."
Eliana stood next to Jess. "We were about to head to my house anyway. I think my dad was planning to make his famous tiramisu for dessert tonight."
Jess's eyes brightened like she'd just said the magic words. "I do love that."
I mouthed thank you to Eliana when my brother's head was turned. She just smiled. She was the best.
They were almost out of the room when Jess glanced back and said, "You can always text us an SOS if Luke starts to get handsy."
Eliana elbowed him in the stomach and he groaned. She looked pointedly at me. "You have a good time. It sounds like we might have a lot to catch up on after tonight."
I nodded and tried to calm my nerves after they left. I hoped I'd have something worth talking to Eliana about after tonight.
A couple of minutes later, the doorbell rang and I hurried to get the door before Mom, Dad, or Macey could embarrass me.
Luke stood on the doorstep in the late-afternoon sunlight, looking drop-dead gorgeous in a dark blue V-neck that did everything for his muscular physique. I swallowed. Maybe Jess should worry about me keeping my hands to myself. I'd never been more attracted to someone in my life.
We stared at each other for a moment before I cleared my throat and finally found my tongue. "Uh, ready?" I stepped out of the house and shut the door, suddenly feeling very self-conscious. Luke was on a whole different level of hot than me. What if he didn't think of me as more than just a friend? I'd seen the ultra-thin, popular girls flirt with him plenty at school. What if I wasn't good enough for him?
But his footsteps followed me down the sidewalk, so I tried not to worry too much. He said yes to hanging out with me when he could have said no. He picked me for his dance partner when he could have picked Kelsie or Hannah. Maybe there was a chance that he could like me, too.
24
Luke
I never thought Ashlyn could be prettier than she'd been the last time we'd gone to Syracuse and danced with those ridiculous panda heads. But I was wrong. Boy was I wrong. Ashlyn was a goddess. Somehow even more beautiful than she'd ever been. And I got to dance with her tonight.
I may have been scared out of my wits to dance in a public place, without a huge panda mask for protection from onlookers. But if it meant I got to dance with her, I was in. I was so unbelievably in.
As we drove to Syracuse, I kept losing my train of thought because when I looked in her eyes, my mind turned to mush. Almost melted in my head. How was I supposed to form a coherent thought when all my brain could think about was whether I'd finall
y get to kiss her again tonight? Now that I actually knew what it was like to kiss her, there was absolutely no way I'd be able to stop constantly thinking about it when I was with her.
There was just one problem. I didn't deserve her. I'd thought everything was just fine between us now that she'd decided to give up on finding British Boy. But the guilt was an ever-present thorn in my side. It was almost as strong as my urge to kiss her. Which was pretty dang powerful.
"Have you ever been to a club before?" Ashlyn asked, her expression excited.
I shook my head. "You do recall me telling you I didn't dance before this thing, right?"
She smiled. "Of course. I remember. Sorry, I'm just so excited. I've wanted to do this since forever, but no one would ever go with me."
My chest lightened at the thought that I could make her happy in a way no one else had before. "I'm glad I could go with you, then. But my dancing skills are probably more likely to ruin the night for you than make it better."
She patted my arm, and my skin sparked to life beneath her touch. "You'll do great. You've gotten so much better in just the past couple of weeks. Plus, I seem to remember those Hitch moves of yours. You can totally pull those out at the club if that makes you more comfortable."
"I might be able to handle that." I flashed her what I hoped was a dashing smile.
Tell her. My conscience prodded me. Just tell her the truth. Something like: Hi Ashlyn. You know that guy you call Imposter Boy? That's me. Please don't smack me.
I shook my head. Yeah, that probably wouldn't turn out like I wanted it to.
She turned on the radio and I was happy for the distraction.
Hey, Ashlyn. Remember that pen pal you fell in love with and were so sad that you couldn't find? It's me. Let's make out.
No.
I studied her out of the corner of my eyes as she stared out the windshield at the oncoming traffic, the lights from the vehicles lighting her face every few seconds.
She looked so happy, peaceful but also excited. I didn't want to ruin that look. If I told her the truth right now, she'd probably insist I take her home and she'd miss out on the dance club experience she'd always wanted. So maybe it would be better for me to just wait and tell her at the end of the night, after she'd had the evening she'd dreamed of.
Just tell her before you kiss her, I told myself. If I waited until later she'd never forgive me. If I told her before then, at least I'd see her hand coming to smack me when she recognized that I kissed the same way as British Boy. If I waited until after the kiss, I'd be blindsided by her fist.
It wasn't long before we pulled into the parking lot behind a building with a huge neon sign that read Sasha's. I took a deep breath and shut off the Jeep. So much was riding on tonight. Everything had to go perfectly.
25
Ashlyn
An upbeat techno-dance song played as Luke and I walked into the club. The lights were turned down low, and there were couples and singles scattered all over the dance floor. The upbeat music brought me to life, and I immediately wanted to get out there and dance. Dancing was in my blood. I'd been dancing since I was three years old and it was what made me feel alive.
I glanced at Luke to see if he was feeling the music the way I was.
His face had gone pale, and he looked like he wanted to run out the door.
"I can't do this, Ashlyn. Please don't make me go out there and dance in front of all these people." His eyes were full of panic.
I tugged on his arm. "You can do this. You're ready."
When he still didn't budge, I took his hand, a warm sensation slipping up through my arm as I did so, and pulled him through the crowd until we found an open space near the back of the room. It was darker over here, so I hoped Luke would feel more comfortable in the shadows.
"You can just start with your awesome step-touch moves at first. I'll request the DJ to play our song in about an hour." It wouldn't surprise me if his face suddenly turned fluorescent under the black light, because he went even whiter at my mention of our song.
"Do you trust me?" I asked.
"Not exactly," he said, a half smile forming on his lips.
"At least you're honest. I guess I'll never have to worry about you lying to me." I winked.
I'd expected him to laugh at my joke, but he didn't even crack a smile. If anything, he became even more serious. So I decided to take things into my own hands—meaning, taking Luke's hands in mine.
Lights circled around the room in beams of red, blue, green, and purple. I pulled Luke farther onto the dance floor. He stumbled forward as we tried to step to the beat.
"Go easy on me, okay?" he said, his eyebrow raised.
"We'll take things slow. Just one step at a time," I said.
It was like he'd completely forgotten everything we'd worked on the past weeks. His feet were all fumbly again, his movements stiff. And I was so thankful that I'd thought to bring him here tonight instead of discovering his stage fright on the night of the competition.
Eventually, after a few false starts and only a couple of smashed toes, we were dancing—kind of dancing, at least. He was stepping from side to side and I was bouncing to the beat, resisting the urge to spin and leap and create a full-on dance routine.
"It's not so bad, is it?" I spoke loudly to be heard over the music.
"It's okay." Luke glanced self-consciously at the couples surrounding us.
A girl with blue hair sashayed past us, shaking her hips like Shakira as she danced a circle around her date who was practically drooling over her. There was another couple wrapped so tightly in each other's arms, I wondered how they could breathe, let alone move to the beat. And then there was a pair who’d been making out for the past five minutes. I was tempted to tell them to get a room. Or at least a table in the corner.
It took a few songs, but Luke did loosen up eventually, a glimmer of this past week's work finally shining through.
After I requested our song, we stopped to get drinks. Luke ordered a Dr. Pepper and I did the same.
"You have good taste in drinks." He lifted his glass.
"So do you." I tapped mine against his before taking a sip. "You also have a great choice for dance partners. I never asked you, but what made you choose me anyway? I hadn't exactly been the sweetest before this whole thing started."
He shrugged. "I figured you were the only girl who could handle me. Plus, I saw Noah's name on the list and thought you'd be okay dancing with me if it meant you didn't have to dance with him."
I felt breathless at the thought of him being so considerate. "Thanks for doing that. Things haven't been super awesome between us, so I'd much rather be with you instead of him."
"Just because I'm a better alternative?"
I looked up at his face, and there was something there that made me think his question wasn't as light as he was trying to make it sound.
I cleared my throat. "You are a better alternative. But I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I've enjoyed spending more time with you. You're so real and fun, and I know exactly what I'm getting when I'm with you. It's really nice."
My heart pounded so fast after practically telling him that I liked him so much more than I ever could like British Boy.
Instead of running away from me like I was a crazy girl, he said, "I've enjoyed hanging out with you, too, Ashlyn. You've surprised me."
The piano and cello interlude of A Thousand Years started playing over the speakers a few minutes later. I thought I'd told the DJ to wait a while longer, but apparently, now was the moment for us to make our debut.
I turned to Luke, who was already gazing at me with an anxious anticipation in his eyes.
But he didn't hide. Instead, he held his hand out to me. "I guess that's our cue," he said. And there was something different in his voice. It was warmer. Lower. Like he could change one thing about the tone of his voice to push me over the edge of getting lost in him forever.
His gaze captivated me. He gave me a smile tha
t made me want to melt and I couldn't look away. I couldn't get my mouth to form a simple response either. So I took his hand, feeling zaps of electricity at his touch.
Instead of taking me to the back corner where we'd spent most of the evening, he led me to the middle of the dance floor beneath the colorful lights. He put one hand on my back, and the other lifted my hand in his, expertly demonstrating the correct position for our waltz.
Even though I'd been dancing with him all night, somehow this felt different. It was more intimate. There was something in the grip of his hands and the way he pressed against my back that made my insides turn to mush. For the first time, I worried that I might actually be the one to forget the steps.
I hesitantly moved closer to him, so our bodies were aligned in the proper closed position. And then we stepped to the music. As we spun around the dance floor, I couldn't help but breathe in Luke's intoxicating cologne. He smelled so good. And for a moment, I broke form and let my head rest against his jaw as we danced. I loved how tall he was. It felt so nice to be held in his strong arms, so close to his body. He seemed calmer than he had been all night, like the romantic music had cast some sort of spell over him. It had definitely bewitched me already.
"How am I doing?" he whispered, his mouth next to my forehead.
"Really good," I admitted. "You're going to wow the judges next weekend."
"It's all because of you." He pulled his head back. When I dared look up at him, I almost burst into flames because his eyes were practically smoldering at me. But why?
Was it the song? Was it the atmosphere? Or was it because of me?
I swallowed, feeling much more nervous than I'd ever felt around him.
He dipped his head closer and said, "I'd try singing, but I'm pretty sure that would ruin the moment."
I laughed, grateful for the humor. "Not a singer?"
"Definitely not."
I smiled. "Me neither."
