by Judy Corry
The music swelled in a crescendo, and Luke spun me out before pulling me back into him for the lift.
I caught hold of his shoulder and let him lift me into the air.
I was weightless as we spun around. I leaned my forehead against his and lost myself as I gazed into his warm, brown eyes.
How did I fail to notice the way he made me feel before? How was it possible that I'd been so caught up in my infatuation with British Boy that I couldn't see this amazing man right before me? I had to be completely blind.
We finished our routine. It was then that I realized we had an audience. The whole room had formed a circle around us and were clapping and cheering.
My cheeks heated as I turned to Luke. He was smiling bashfully at the crowd, but I could see from the look in his eyes that he was proud of himself.
"You did it!" I wrapped my arms around him, the exhilaration from the atmosphere making me shaky.
He folded me into his chest. "We did it. You're amazing, Ashlyn."
I hugged him tighter, letting the word amazing run through my mind again, committing the way it had sounded into my memory.
"Thanks for bringing me here," Luke said as we left the club and headed down the sidewalk to where his Jeep was parked.
"Thanks for not bolting when we first got here. I had a lot of fun."
"Me too." We walked in silence, listening to the sounds of the city at night. Cars passed, leaving red taillights for us to follow.
"You're different than I thought," Luke said after a while.
I stopped to look at him, studying his silhouette in the moonlight. "Good different or bad different?"
He returned my gaze, and I felt myself going weak under his stare. "Good different. Very good," he said softly.
We continued down the sidewalk again. I took a chance and slipped my hand into his. I just had to be closer to him again after spending the evening in his arms. He tensed for a moment before letting his fingers curl around mine. Warmth spread throughout my whole body. His hand felt nice in mine, right somehow.
"Is this okay?" I asked, lifting our hands.
"More than okay," he said quietly.
Content, I leaned my head against his shoulder as we walked the last few yards to his vehicle.
He opened the passenger door for me and then climbed in on his side. "Are you ready to go home?" he asked as he stuck his keys in the ignition.
"Not really." But the time on the dash told me it was already eleven o'clock, and if I didn't get home soon I'd be in big trouble. I sighed. "But you better take me home. Even though there are about a million other things I'd rather do than go to sleep right now."
Luke raised an eyebrow. "What kind of things?"
I shrugged, embarrassed, even though I hadn't said anything incriminating yet. "Obviously more dancing. We could totally grab some more panda heads and find a street corner."
Luke shook his head and laughed. "Do you ever stop dancing?"
"Sometimes." I smiled, happy that I'd successfully deflected his question. I wasn't about to admit that I wanted to find a place where we could sit close and see what happened.
Luke pulled out of the parking lot and headed for the highway. He switched on the radio, and soon we had the new Lady Gaga song taking us home. I discreetly studied him as we drove, taking in the shape of him. He sat tall, his shoulders broad, and his lips looked the perfect size and shape for kissing. He was probably a really good kisser, and there was a huge part of me that wanted to find out if my assumptions were true.
"What?" he asked, catching my stare.
My face flushed and I was happy for the darkness. "Nothing."
"Do I have something on my face?" He ran a hand down his cheek to check.
"No. But your profile could rival any Greek god's." I covered my mouth after realizing I'd said my thoughts aloud.
My comment earned a smile from him though, and my cheeks cooled a little.
"A Greek god, you say?"
I laughed awkwardly. "Or perhaps Gonzo? I can't make up my mind."
He shoved my shoulder playfully. "Don't make fun of the nose. Blame it on my Jewish ancestors."
"I actually like your nose. It's so long and dignified."
"Dignified." He sputtered. "Pretty sure that's the first time anyone’s ever said that."
"You look nice, Luke."
We parked in front of my house a few minutes later. I didn't want to get out. I didn't want this night to end. Not yet. It had been way too magical. But Luke unbuckled his seatbelt, so I followed suit.
He climbed out and walked to my side of the Jeep, opening the door for me like a true gentleman. I couldn't remember the last time a guy had done that for me…or if a guy had ever done that for me.
"You don't have to walk me to the door," I said, not wanting to push my luck. Plus, front-porch goodbyes were always so awkward with unspoken expectations.
Luke offered me his hand to help me down. "I know I don't have to. But I want to."
I didn't let go of his hand as he shut the door behind me. And he didn't let go either.
"I had a really great time tonight, Ashlyn." He leaned against the Jeep instead of walking me up the sidewalk. "Probably one of the best I've had in a long time."
I leaned too so we were facing each other, happy he wasn't in a hurry to say goodbye yet. "Me too." I peered into his dark eyes, made even darker in the moonlight. He was gorgeous.
He ran his thumb along my knuckles, his soft touch sending pulses of electricity up my arm. Could he feel the charge between us? Things were changing so fast.
"Actually," he said, looking at our hands. "The last few weeks have been amazing. I felt so alone after my mom died and I didn't know how to be normal around people anymore. And then you came along and just made everything so much easier. I could finally breathe again."
His gaze met mine, and it may have just been the way the moonlight hit his face right then, but it looked like his eyes were moist around the edges. My heart banged against my ribcage.
Aw, Luke. How could this strong, tortured boy tie my stomach up in knots so?
He blinked, and his jaw worked for a second.
"Sorry," he said, tilting his chin to the side as he wiped the corner of his eye with the heel of his hand. "I just…" He released a deep breath.
What was he trying to say? Was he trying to tell me that he liked me?
Butterflies started dancing around in my stomach at the thought. "Yes?" I asked, breathless with anticipation.
"There's something I—"
He was so nervous. It was adorable!
But of course he'd be nervous. I'd totally given him my cheek the last time he tried to show me affection. So I squeezed his hand and decided to help him out. "You don't have to say it, Luke. I know."
His brow furrowed. "Y-you do?"
I nodded. "I figured it out on my own."
"And you're not mad?" He looked so confused.
"Of course I'm not mad. I like you, too."
He gulped. "You do?"
I nodded again. "I'm sorry I've been so blind to what was standing in front of me this whole time. I really don't know why it took me so long to figure it out."
"Don't be sorry." He sighed, and I was so happy. He stepped closer and caressed my cheek with the back of his fingers. Chills erupted all over my skin, followed by a path of fire. "And you're really not mad?" His voice was huskier than usual.
I leaned closer so our lips were almost touching. "Of course not. I—"
I didn't get to finish my sentence because he pressed his lips to mine and kissed me. Gently at first, testing, like he still wasn't sure it was okay. But it was most definitely okay. So I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed myself closer to him. He reacted by clasping his hands behind my waist and pulling me with him as he leaned back against the Jeep.
We may have danced a lot over the past weeks, but I'd never felt him like this before. His chest was all hard muscle, and I reveled in the feeling of it against me. Unable to
resist, I ran my hand along his chest, feeling his heartbeat as it raced away with mine. He was a work of art, and I wished it hadn't taken me so long to find myself in his arms this way.
His hands moved up my back until they were tangled in my hair. His lips were warm and soft, and they lingered as he kissed me slowly, passionately. I couldn't breathe. My heart was beating so fast, it actually hurt. Never before had a first kiss been so easy and effortless. It was like we'd kissed each other before and our lips knew exactly what to do. There was no learning curve or awkward nose bumping. Just an unbelievable fire that left me in a heady daze.
"I've been dying to kiss you like this again," he said against my lips.
But I could barely comprehend his words, my mind had already drifted off. I literally could not think right now. His mouth was taking control of my mind, body, and soul.
26
Luke
"This is unbelievable," Ashlyn whispered against my lips when we broke apart for a second to catch our breath. "Why did we wait so long to do this?"
I had thought the kiss in the Chemistry lab was amazing, but it had nothing on this. Not now that everything was out in the open and I didn't have the guilt creeping in to ruin anything.
I'd never felt so good in my entire life. When she said that she knew I was British Boy, and that she wasn't mad at me, I could have floated into the air. I felt so light. So free. Completely content for the first time since my mom died.
And now I was kissing her. Kissing her like I’d never kissed anyone before.
Her hands knotted in the front of my shirt and she pressed the softness of her body against my chest. She moaned softly, low in her throat, and that was it. I was gone.
And I suddenly knew why people described kissing as melting, because every inch of my body dissolved into hers. My veins throbbed and my heart exploded. I’d never felt like this with anyone before. She moved her hands up my back until her fingers curled in my hair and sent tingles through my body.
I breathed in her light scent—coconut and something else that I'd come to know as just Ashlyn. I wanted to breathe her in forever. I never wanted to stop kissing her.
The space around us evaporated. It was just us next to my Jeep under the big tree in her front yard with the moonlight shining down. No one else existed.
It had only taken a few moments of kissing her and I knew I was addicted for life.
"You can stop eating my sister's face now." A deep voice came from behind us.
We broke apart, and I saw her brother walking down the sidewalk with their friend Eliana.
"Oh my heck, Jess!" Ashlyn said, her eyes wide.
Jess shrugged and continued on his way toward the house next door.
Eliana turned her head over her shoulder and mouthed "sorry" to Ashlyn, and then she quickened her step.
"Sorry about that." Ashlyn's gaze met mine. "My brother can be obnoxiously overprotective sometimes."
I ran a shaky hand through my hair. "Don't worry about it. I needed to get my wits about me, anyway."
She sucked in a deep breath and released it slowly. "Me too."
There was so much life sparking in her eyes, and I wanted to kiss her again. But we just stood there, staring at each other for a while, so much being said without words.
Finally, she bit her lip and sighed. "I better go."
I nodded. "Yeah, me too."
But neither of us moved.
Jess was back again, but without Eliana this time. "You guys just gonna stare at each other all night?"
Ashlyn groaned and rolled her eyes. "I'm gonna go now."
I shoved my hands in my pockets. "Okay."
She stepped backward slowly, still not looking away from me. "See you at school on Monday?"
I nodded, and on a whim decided to bring back my British accent for fun, since I knew how much she loved it. "I'll be waiting with bated breath."
She stilled, her smile immediately gone. Had that line really been that stupid?
"What did you just say?" she asked.
So I said it again.
“You’re—” She stepped back, as if shocked for some reason. "You're British Boy?"
27
Ashlyn
I stared at Luke, my lips starting to tremble. I wanted to get those words—that accent—out of my head. I was hearing him wrong. This was not real. The sidewalk was not falling out from under me.
Luke couldn't be British Boy.
His brow furrowed. "I thought you said…? Didn't you just tell me that you knew and that it was okay?"
I shook my head vehemently. "No. I didn't say that at all. I thought you were trying to tell me that you liked me. Not that you've been lying to me for weeks."
I was going to throw up. Everything between us had been fake? Was this his idea of the ultimate prank to end the pranking war he'd started so long ago? I could only imagine the lengths he must have gone through in order to pull this off.
He'd known who I was from the very first day in the Chemistry lab and had lied to me right from the start. He manipulated me into falling in love with a fake guy. And as if that wasn’t enough, he just had to deliver a bigger blow by making me like him.
I swallowed back the tears threatening to spill. There was no way I was going to cry now. He made me look like a fool. How he even managed all of it, I didn’t know. What was his endgame in this whole thing?
To hurt me? Did he hate me that much?
I clutched my stomach, my fingers curling into fists. I was indeed a fool and he played me well.
Luke stepped closer to me. He looked scared. Like he was worried I might go rabid dog on him. But that could all have just been an act too, like everything else he'd done to me.
"I can explain everything."
"So you can lie to me some more?" I snapped at him, holding my hands out to stop his approach. "You took my trust and threw it in the trash. I told you things that I've never told anyone before. What did you plan on doing with that information? Were you planning to post it all over the school once you've compiled your list? Or were you going to wait until the dance competition where you could humiliate me on the big stage in front of the crowd?"
"I wouldn't do that to you."
Wow, he was really good at this. He sounded so sincere that my heart almost believed him.
"You pretended to be a British Boy who suffered from panic attacks. A guy who was all alone in a new country. I felt bad for you, Luke. You played into my compassion in the very worst way. Did your mom even really have cancer? Or was that just another lie?"
He flinched and stumbled back like I'd punched him in the gut.
Well, good. It was his turn to be hurt.
"I trusted you, Luke." My voice came out low and strangled, and I knew I had to end this conversation before I started crying. "How could you play me like that? It was all real to me."
"It was real to me, too," he said, his jaw flexing. "All of it."
My body felt heavy, completely drained from all the emotions I'd felt tonight. "I don't know what to believe anymore, Luke. I literally can't trust my senses around you."
Luke stepped forward again, holding his hands out. "If you would just let me talk to you, you'd understand."
I shook my head, too exhausted to listen to his lies. "I can't talk to you. I can't listen to you. I can't be around you."
"I tried to tell you, Ashlyn. So many times I tried to tell you who I was. But you never even considered me an option when you were trying to figure it out."
"Oh, I considered it. For a second. But I never pursued it because I didn't think you could stoop so low." I drew in a shaky breath. "Just tell Max that we can't do the competition after all. Claim irreconcilable differences or something like that."
I turned and stomped my way to the door, my heels clacking on the sidewalk.
"Ashlyn, wait! Don't do this!" he called after me.
I gripped the doorknob then turned back to him. "You should have just let me dance with Noah."
I only made it halfway up the stairs before my eyes were blurry with tears.
Why did things like this always have to happen to me? Was I ever going to be more than just a girl to mess around with? Was any guy ever going to be able to take me seriously?
I shut myself in my room and fell across my bed as the tears trickled out the sides of my eyes.
Maybe I needed to just stop trying to date in high school. I wasn't cut out for it after all. Maybe I had some sort of Brooks family curse. Jess and I certainly sucked when it came to finding love.
I reached for my stuffed teddy wedged between my pillows. Mr. Bear had been my source of comfort as a toddler, and right now, I needed him too. His big brown eyes looked at me with pity—
Brown eyes, just like Luke’s.
A sob hitched in my throat. How could he do this to me? I thought he was everything I’d ever wanted in a guy. He made me laugh and he knew how to make me feel better on bad days.
And that smile—I clasped my hand over my heart, to try to stop it from tearing apart inside my chest—his smile had been one of my favorite things.
I buried my face in Mr. Bear’s soft tummy. Was any of it even real? The laughter, the fun…his kiss?
I curled up into a ball. Luke betrayed me, my trust. All those times I told him about British Boy and it was him all along. Did he mock me behind my back?
My phone vibrated beside me. Probably Eliana wanting me to dish about tonight.
Luke: Please don't shut me out. It was all so real. That's why I stopped British Boy when I did.
My head pounded. I wanted to believe him. I really did. But it was just too much. There had been way too many lies between us.
I deleted his message, as well as all the other texts he'd sent me. Then I went to my awesomemail chat app and scrolled through the messages British Boy had sent me. All these conversations had meant so much. I'd thought I'd finally found someone who got me. But they were all lies. He didn't understand me. And now he never would.
With a few taps on my screen all our conversations were gone.
