by Judy Corry
28
Luke
I waited outside Ashlyn's house for hours, hoping she'd let me come in. But when she didn't respond to my messages, or answer my calls, I drove around until the gas light came on.
How could a night that had gone so amazingly well turn out to be one of the worst nights of my life? I'd thought I'd finally done it. Finally achieved what I'd been hoping for. Finally found the happiness that had been missing since my mom died. But it was all a mirage. Always right in front of me but never within my reach.
I stumbled into my house hours later and found my dad sitting alone in the living room, watching TV. I'd successfully avoided him since that fateful dinner, and I wasn't about to change that now. I didn't need anything else to add onto the crap pile that was my life. So I closed the door as quietly as I could and tiptoed through the kitchen.
His voice cut through the air. "Come and sit down with me, Luke. We need to talk about Amy." He flicked the TV off with the remote.
Talking to him about that new lady friend of his was about the last thing I needed right now. My blood boiled just thinking that he could move on from my mom after only a few months. Had he even loved her at all?
I'd only been friends with Ashlyn for a couple of weeks and I already knew I'd never get over her even if she never forgave me.
I was at the edge of the stairs that led to my bedroom. Maybe I could pretend I hadn't heard him.
"I know you heard me," his voice called.
I hung my head and sighed before turning on my heel and slinking into the room. I dropped into the chair across from him.
My dad cleared his throat. "I wanted to apologize to you about what happened a couple of weeks ago. That was a terrible way to tell you about Amy."
I cringed at her name.
"I know that must've been a shock. And I'm sorry about that. I just hope you know that nothing was happening between us, between me and Amy, when your mom was still alive. We were just friends at that time." He ran a hand through his hair, which was more silver than brown these days. "But then, I don't know, it was nice to have someone to talk to. You must understand how something like that could happen."
I crossed my arms. "Maybe you should've talked to me instead, Dad. You left me alone after Mom died. Do you know how horrible that felt? It was like losing Mom and you at the same time."
His expression fell. "I'm sorry about that, Luke. I had no idea you felt that way. You should've told me."
I scoffed. "You wanted me to call you on the phone at your work and tell you I was having a panic attack?"
My dad's eyes etched with concern. "You're having panic attacks?"
"Why do you think I ran out of here when you told me? I was having a major freak out."
He looked down. "Do you want me to take you to see a therapist or something? I thought the school counselor was helping with that. Is that not enough?"
"You don't get it, Dad!" I threw my hands in the air. "I don't want to talk to some stranger about my feelings. I want to talk to someone who actually gives a crap about me. I want to talk to someone who knew Mom!"
He flinched at my words. "I'm…" He looked like he had no idea what to say to me. Like I was some strange messed-up kid that he didn't know the first thing to do with.
"You know what?" Tears pricked at my eyes. "I'm doing fine, Dad. You don't have to worry about me." I stood from the chair and headed toward the stairs. "You can just go on and date whoever you want. I'll remember Mom for the both of us."
He could start his new family and I could just be alone. I was getting pretty good at that.
29
Ashlyn
I spent most of the next day in my room, watching movies and pigging out on junk food, trying not to think about Luke. I hated myself for being such a cliché, but Netflix and ice cream were a cliché for a reason. I had to find a way to numb myself from all thoughts of Luke and how it would be to see him tomorrow at school. I needed to make sure that I was indifferent and that the thought of never kissing him again didn't have any sort of effect on me.
I took a break from my mindless TV binging around four o'clock, so I could finish up my Math homework. But once that was done it was back to watching movies.
Of course I couldn't watch any of my old favorites. My BBC collection would forever be ruined for me. Anytime I heard a British accent from now on would remind me of how badly I'd been lied to by Luke. So I turned on Stranger Things and hoped it would scare me enough that I wouldn't be able to think about Luke and his brown eyes or the way he'd kissed me before everything fell apart.
Tap tap tap.
I awakened with a jolt. Was it a tree branch blowing in the wind and hitting my window? I held my breath and listened some more.
Tap tap tap.
My heart thundered in my ears and I pulled my covers over my head. It sounded too rhythmic and deliberate to be a tree.
Tap tap tap.
Someone was at my window. My two-story window…
"Ashlyn." I heard my name, soft and faint. Like it was being whispered.
My serial killer knew my name.
"Ashlyn." Whoever was outside my window spoke louder and clearer. This time I could tell that it was a man's voice.
I turned on my side and pulled my legs toward me so I was curled up in a ball. Watching Stranger Things really hadn't been the best idea after all.
"Open up, Ashlyn. It's just me."
The voice sounded familiar. Had Luke come to apologize some more? Did I want to let him?
I pushed the covers back on my bed, just to go see what he wanted. He had climbed all the way up a tree outside my window. I didn't want him to slip and fall. So I turned on my lamp to see what was going on. I stood by my window for a moment, trying to calm my erratic heartbeat, my heart telling me there was still a chance of it being a murderer outside my window and not Luke. After drawing in a deep breath, I opened my blinds.
I about jumped out of my skin. There was indeed a tall figure right in front of my window wearing a dark hoodie. And it didn't look like Luke. I jerked the blinds shut again.
Why did I open the blinds? What a stupid thing to do. Now my murderer knew I was in my room.
"I know you saw me, Ashlyn. Please let me in."
"Luke?" I asked. He didn't sound exactly like Luke, but my brain was too foggy to think of who else it might be.
"It's me, Noah. Can you please open the window?"
My heart stopped thundering in my chest. It was just Noah.
I unlocked my bedroom window and let him in. "What are you doing here?" I whispered as he stumbled into my room.
I gasped when I saw his face. His eye was swollen shut and he had blood dripping from a gash on his brow.
"What happened? Are you okay?"
He staggered the rest of the way in and sat down on a chair. "I got in a fight with my stepdad."
My throat constricted. "He did this to you?"
"Yeah. It's not the first time either." Noah touched the spot on his head, his fingers coming away bloody.
Worried he was going to get blood on my carpet, I pushed him into my bathroom. "Here," I said, giving him my hand towel. "Put this on your head. I'll be right back with an ice pack." I slipped out of my room as quietly as I could, stepping softly so I wouldn't wake anyone. If my parents discovered I had a guy in my room, my ex-boyfriend nonetheless, they'd kill me.
But then again, if they saw his face maybe they'd think I was beating him up for being there. Still, I’d rather not get caught and have to explain everything.
So, I tiptoed down the stairs, careful to avoid the one that always creaked, and sped my way through the kitchen. I filled a Ziplock bag with ice cubes then carefully retrieved the first-aid kit and a washcloth from the main bathroom just down the hall from my parents’ bedroom. My mom was a super light sleeper, so this was the real test.
The door creaked as I shut it.
Crap!
More worried about getting caught than being careful
anymore, I rushed down the hall, past the kitchen, taking the stairs two at a time before finally slipping into my room. I shut the door behind me and leaned against it as I tried to catch my breath. If my parents let me have a lock on my door, I would have locked it, too.
When I turned around, I found Noah lying along the foot of my bed with the towel still pushed to his forehead, his legs hanging off the edge.
"Is it still bleeding?" I asked, moving toward him.
"Maybe," he said in his gravelly voice.
"Here, let me look." I reached over and slowly inched the towel away from his cut. When no new blood appeared after a few seconds, I decided he was okay enough to be bandaged up.
I opened the first-aid kit and dug through it until I found the kind of bandage that helped hold gashes together.
"I'm not sure if you'll need stitches or not, but hopefully this will help you avoid getting too big of a scar," I said as I stuck it on his eyebrow.
When our gazes met, he studied me quietly with the eye that wasn't swollen. "Thanks, Ashlyn. I really appreciate it. I didn't have anywhere else to go."
I nodded, smoothing my hand over the skin just above the cut. "It's okay." I sighed. "I wish you didn't have to deal with this."
"Yeah. I wish my mom would stop going back. He's a total douchebag."
"Does he hurt her, too?" I wrapped the washcloth around the icepack and gently set it over Noah's bruised eye.
"He tried. Hence my black eye." He took over holding the icepack to his head, and I busied myself with putting away the first-aid kit.
I looked at the time on my phone. It was after two in the morning and I had to wake up in just over three hours for drill practice.
"I know it's late, and you're probably tired," Noah said when he noticed me checking the time. "And I know I have no right to ask this of you, let alone even be here right now after everything I've done. But can I just stay here? I promise I'll leave first thing in the morning."
"I don't think having you spend the night here would be a good idea,” I said carefully, watching him for a reaction.
Noah swallowed, and I saw fear in his face. "My mom and sister went to the women's shelter. I can't go back home alone tonight. If I do, I'll kill him."
"Noah…" My heart broke for this boy who I used to love. "You're eighteen now. If you let your temper get the better of you, you'll go to jail."
"I know." He closed his eyes and blew out a long breath. "I just…I need to get my mom and sister out of there for good. I'm just so tired right now." He looked exhausted, like he'd been awake for a thousand days. I brushed his hair out of his eyes. It was longer than it had been the last time I'd touched it but still just as soft.
I kissed his forehead, my heart squeezing in my chest for this man who was still a boy. "Okay. You can stay. But you're leaving first thing in the morning."
"Thanks, Ashlyn," he said, sounding like he was already drifting off to sleep. "Luke's a lucky guy. I wish I'd been good enough to keep you forever."
My eyes stung with tears as I dropped a blanket over Noah before curling up in my chair in the corner with a blanket and pillow. I turned on my side and wiped away a tear that slipped out, thinking about how I seemed destined to always fall for guys who never realized what I was until it was too late.
30
Luke
The next morning, I woke up at five-thirty so I'd have time to run to Walmart—the only store in Ridgewater open at this hour—and buy Ashlyn a bouquet of pink flowers. They weren't the perfect floral arrangement from a florist, but they would have to do for today.
I'd given her some space yesterday, hoping she'd have time to think things through and realize that what I'd done wasn't as bad as she'd thought. But today was a new day, and I'd be seeing her at school, so I wanted to clear the air before it became a big public show.
Flowers in tow, I drove to Ashlyn's house and parked in her driveway, right behind the garage I'd seen her park her Mercedes in before.
At six-fifteen, the garage door opened and revealed her with her drill team bag slung over her arm, her hair pulled up in a high ponytail. She opened the back door and threw her bag in, not seeming to notice me or my vehicle.
I jumped out of the Jeep with flowers in hand. Here goes nothing.
I cleared my throat. "Ashlyn."
She jumped and clasped a hand to her chest. "You startled me."
I stepped closer and held out the flowers. "Sorry to scare you. I need to talk to you."
Her expression, which had been surprised for a second, turned hard. "I don't have time to talk to you, Luke. I have to get to practice." She didn't even move to take the flowers from me.
Feeling dumb, I let my hand drop to my side. "I'll drive you then. We can talk on the way," I said, desperate.
"I don't have the energy for this right now. Get in your car and let me leave." She sounded so tired and defeated. I really had broken everything.
"Won't you at least let me explain? Please?"
"So you can lie to me some more?" She shook her head and opened her car door. "I really have to get to practice, Luke. I can't talk to you right now."
The door that led into her house from the garage opened again and out shuffled a tall figure in a dark hoodie who lifted his head at us. I’d expected to see Jess’s face peeking up from beneath the hood; instead, Noah narrowed his eyes at me.
My legs threatened to buckle and I had to grip onto the Jeep for support. What was he doing here?
Did he and Ashlyn…? I swallowed. No. She wouldn't go back to him, would she?
They both climbed into her car though, apparently not wanting to give me any answers.
I got into the Jeep and started it with a shaky hand. I backed out of the Brooks' long driveway and pulled along the curb to try and regain control of my senses. Ashlyn's black Mercedes backed out of the driveway, her tires rolling right over the flowers I'd dropped in my shocked state.
She might as well roll over my heart while she was at it.
I found Max Knowles as soon as I got to school. "Can I talk to you for a sec?" I asked him.
"Sure, Luke." He pushed his glasses farther up his nose.
I cleared my throat. "Okay, I just needed to let you know that Ashlyn and I have to drop out of the competition."
"You can't do that," he said very matter-of-factly with a quick shake of the head.
"What do you mean we can't do that?" I asked, confused at such a fast response.
He clasped his hands together. "We already had two couples drop out: Piper Bass broke her ankle last week and Lincoln Dangerfield got a doctor's note saying he can't compete."
"But—" I licked my lips. I hadn't expected Max to put up a fuss about this. "—Ashlyn and I can't work together."
"You picked her in the beginning, knowing full well what you were getting into." Max crossed his arms. "I questioned you from the start, asking if you really thought you could work together, given your past, and you assured me, against my better judgement, that this partnership would work. So I'm sorry to be a tough guy on you, Luke, but you're just gonna have to stick with it."
I shook my head. "No, but you don't understand. This has nothing to do with—"
He held up his hand to silence me. "Nope. Just stop right there. I already have too much drama going on in putting this thing together. It's time for you two to suck it up and make it work. I'll see you at the competition." And before I could say anything else, he walked away.
I finally tracked Ashlyn down during lunch. She was sitting at her usual table with Eliana and Jess.
"Hey, Ashlyn." I cleared my throat and decided to get this over with as quickly as possible. She turned to face me, a flash of irritation in her eyes.
She crossed her arms. "What?" Okay, she was even more annoyed with me than she'd been this morning.
"We can't drop out of the competition."
Her eyes narrowed. "What do you mean we can't drop out of the competition? Did you even talk to Max about this
?"
"Yes, of course." I held my hands out in front of me as if they could shield me from her irritation. "I don't want to do this any more than you do. But Max says we can't quit."
Ashlyn crossed her arms. "Did you tell him why we can't do it?"
"I tried, but he didn't care." I sighed and shrugged my shoulders. "He says we just have to work it out. I guess he figures that we weren't that great of friends when we first started so it shouldn't be much different now."
Ashlyn rolled her eyes. "Oh, things are way different than they were before that. Back then, I thought you were just my nemesis. I had no idea the lengths you would go to just to pull off a prank."
I hated that she still thought everything had been a big joke to me. But I also hated what I'd seen this morning.
"And how is Noah doing these days? I can't believe you'd take him back after everything you told me."
"You mean, everything I told British Boy."
I rolled my eyes. "Whatever."
Arguing with her wouldn't help anything.
But it still boggled my mind that she could go back to him, a guy who had made her miserable for months. How could she take him back after everything he'd done, and not even give me a chance because I pretended I was from England. That was the only lie I'd told her. But apparently, that lie was the only thing she'd liked about British Boy in the first place. Everything else she was left with, everything else that was the real Luke Davenport, wasn't good enough for Ashlyn Brooks. When she had all the parts of Luke lined up together, it just wasn't what she wanted.
I scrubbed a hand through my hair. "I'm willing to stick this thing out, but if you really can't stand the idea of spending one more moment alone with me, go ahead and talk to Max. Maybe he'll listen to you better."
I didn't have to wait long before I found out the result of Ashlyn's conversation with Max. She sent me a text during the next period.
Ashlyn: Talked to Max. I guess we're stuck, but I will be making some changes.
