Josephine

by Amanda Mariel

  She placed her hand on his head and to her great relief, the fever was subsiding. Over come with joy, she dropped a kiss on his head. “Everything will be better now. You are going to live.”

  As she pulled back, she caught sight of her wrinkled frock. She’d not changed in days, nor had she brushed her hair or washed. She must look frightful. This would not do. The last thing she wanted was for him to find her in such disarray.

  She watched the steady rhythm of his chest rising and falling for a moment before slipping from the bed. It would not take her long to freshen up and she was quite certain he would make a full recovery now. She’d go clean herself up then return to his side. In all likelihood, he would remain sleeping for quite some while. After all, she’d given him a sleeping poultice a few hours ago.

  Josie left the room and hurried down the corridor.

  “Miss. Miss, do stop.”

  Josie turned toward the voice to find an elderly woman traipsing toward. Her grey hair hung about her shoulder’s and she wore nothing more than a night shift. Not sure who she was or what was a foot, Josie said nothing.

  “I need your help. I’ve lost Albert.” She put her fist to her mouth. “I simply must find him.”

  “Of course, I’ll be happy to help. Who is Albert? Can you tell me what he looks like?” Josie swallowed back her annoyance at being waylaid. The woman was clearly distraught. Hopefully it would not take long to locate her Albert.

  She rung her hands. “He’s small and brown with a long tail. I had him in my pocket and forgot and he disappeared”

  Could she truly be describing a… “He’s a mouse?”

  She shook her head. “Yes, my pet and I simply must find him. Herbert will be very upset if I don’t.”

  Josie drew her brows together. “Dare I ask who Herbert is?”

  “He’s my husband, darling. Albert is our connect; he’s how Herbert talks to me.” She started down the hall, her head turning back and forth as she searched.

  Josie took a steading breath then strolled after her. “I fear it will be rather hard to locate a mouse in such a grand house.”

  The woman paused her search to stare at Josie. “Hush. Do not say such things. Herbert will help us find Albert.” The woman stepped in front of a large painting on the wall, then reached out to rest her hand on the man who was depicted in it. “Herbert, darling. It has been so long since you spoke to me through the painting but I need you now. You see I’ve lost Albert. Where has he gone?”

  Josie watched as though she were stuck in a strange dream.

  The woman angled her head and nodded as though she’d heard something. “Thank you, darling.” She grinned. “I love you too.”

  Josie could not help herself. She stepped closer and placed her hand on the woman’s shoulder. “Did he say where we might look?”

  The woman’s shoulders slumped. “He said not to fret. To return to bed and Albert will find me.” She glanced at Josie with tears in her eyes. “Then he said he loves me.”

  “That is good advice and I am quite certain he is right. Allow me to walk with you.” Josie wrapped her arm around the woman’s shoulders and steered her back down the hall.

  “I would like that.” The woman slid her a sideways glance. “Do I know you?”

  “I do not believe so. My name is Lady Josephine Watkins.” She gave a small squeeze that she hoped the woman would find reassuring. “You may call me Josie if you please.”

  “Josie it shall be.” She smiled brightly. “Everyone calls me Your Grace, but I would rather you call me Izzy.” She laughed as though she’d said the funniest thing ever.

  Josie forced a laughed so as not to offend Izzy. The woman was clearly mad—stark raving mad—but Josie found her endearing despite it. She studied the woman for a moment as the strolled along the corridor. Could she truly be the dowager duchess? Devon’s mother? If so, it could explain why he’d not wanted her, Georgie, and Felton here. Perhaps he worried that they would be unkind to Izzy.

  “Oh there you are.” A petite, grey haired woman hurled down the hall. “Your Grace, you gave me quite a fright.”

  “Sally, darling, there is no reason to be overset. My new friend, Josie and I were just taking a stroll.” Izzy slanted a grin in Josie’s direction. “Sally can see me the rest of the way. Have a good night, Darling Josie.” She started laughing again as she made her way to Sally’s side.

  Josie took a moment to collect herself before she went to her room. Once inside she quickly washed up and changed then made her way back to Devon’s room. When she approached, she found Sally standing guard outside the door.

  “Might we speak for a few minutes?”

  Josie nodded. “Of course.”

  “I will be frank so as not to waste too much time. Her Grace is…”

  “Eccentric?” Josie arched a brow.

  Sally grinned. “Well now that is a new perspective. However, I fear most would call her mad. His Grace has worked hard to keep her condition a secret. That is why he instructed the butler to tell you and your companions that he was away.”

  Josie’s heart hurt for Devon and Izzy as well, though she’d wager the dowager duchess had little idea of her condition. She could not imagine the struggle’s and hardships Devon endured to keep Izzy’s madness a secret, nor how heavily the threat of discovery hung over him.

  Josie offered a sympathetic look. “How long has she…suffered?”

  “Ever since Herbert passed on four years ago. The poor dear loved him so much that she could not bare his loss.”

  “I hope to experience such a powerful love someday.” Josie averted her gaze toward Devon’s door. “Thank you for confiding in me. You may rest assured, I will not share your secret.”

  Sally reached out, resting her hand on Josie’s arm and stared into her eyes for a moment. “Thank you.” She dropped her hand away, turned, and strolled up the corridor.

  Josie opened Devon’s door and slip into the room, closing it behind her. He remained in the same position he’d been in when she left him. Going to the bed, she placed her palm to his forehead. For the first time in day’s he was cool to the touch. The fever had broken. She’d done it. She had saved his life.

  She tipped her head back to gaze up at the high celling. “Thank you, God.”

  * * * *

  Devon forced his heavy eyelids open, his vision was blurred, head fuzzy, and body weak. His mouth too, was exceedingly dry, as though someone had stuffed it with cotton. He reached toward his bedside table hopping to find something to drink, but his hand came against something else entirely.

  “Devon, your awake.”

  He worked to focus on the person before him, her shape then features coming into plain sight. “Angel,” he forced out through parched lips. “Is it truly you?”

  She sank onto the bed beside him. “Yes, yes. It is I, Josie.”

  He must be dreaming—one caused by his longing for her. There was no way she could truly be at his bedside. He lifted one arm and took a curl into his hand. She felt real. The unmistakable smell of lavender and vanilla seemed real as well. “Come, let me hold you.”

  She reached for a pitcher on the table then filled a glass and handed it to him. “You must be thirsty. Drink first.”

  He took the cup, downing most of the water within, before handing it back to her.

  She placed it back on the table then stretched out next to him, resting her head on his chest.

  He wrapped his arm around her and inhaled her scent. Bloody hell, she fit against him perfectly. If only he could hold her for real—forever.

  She rubbed her fingers back and forth across his chest. “I was so afraid when I discovered you’d taken ill with fever. I’m sorry, I had to hurt you to heal you.”

  Hurt him to heal him… What the devil was she going on about? He searched his mind, jerking up to sit when. Clarity seeped in. His butler announcing guests…Josie’s voice whispering to him…and pain, pure torture so great he could not stay conscious. He was
not dreaming. She was really here.

  How long had he been out? Hours? Days? Good God, where was mother? “What happened?”

  She gazed up at him, her fingers still playing at his chest. “I came to check on you. Georgie and Felton are here too. Your butler told us you were away, but gave us rooms for the night. I could not sleep so I took a walk in the corridor. It was then that I came upon the physician talking with your butler. I heard him say you were feverish and being bleed. I demanded to be shown to your room.” She paused for a heartbeat. “I-I could not let anything happen to you.”

  Warmth spread through him as he pulled her closer. “Thank you, Angel.”

  “It was the least I could do. After all, I am the one who caused your injury.”

  “I never held you responsible. We startled you when we rode into your path. If anyone is to blame, it is me. I should have been paying mind to my surroundings.” He rubbed her arm with soothing strokes. “How long was I out?”

  “Three days and two nights.”

  He swallowed hard. The likelihood that she or her friends had encountered mother was great considering how much time had passed. If they hadn’t already discovered her secret—their secret—they soon would. He had to send them away.

  He wished he could be selfish and enjoy Josie while he had her. Hold her for one more night, but it would not be fair to either of them for him to delay the inevitable. “I am better now and I have you to thank. Now I must insist you return to London at first light.”

  “I am not ready to leave you. What if the wound festers again?”

  He swallowed back the rising lump in his throat and released his hold on her. “My physician will treat it. I do not want you here.”

  She looked at him, a mixture of hurt and furry shining in her eyes. “Because you fear what I might think of your mother?”

  “I take it you have met her already.” He rubbed his jaw.

  “And I found her delightful. We made fast friends.”

  “You cannot—”

  Josie jumped from the bed. “I would never share Izzy’s secret with anyone.”

  Devon sat up and swung his legs over the side of the mattress. “Thank you, but you still have to go. The longer you stay, the more likely it is that your friends will come upon her, too.”

  “As you wish, Your Grace.” Josie strode from the room without a backward glance.

  He flopped back on the bed, his chest tight. He wanted her as he’d never wanted any other woman, but he could never sentence her to his life. Bloody hell, he’d fallen in love with his Angel.

  CHAPTER 9

  J osie spent another restless night, her mind spinning over Devon. She should be used to the condition by now, however, she feared she never would be. More frightening was the prospect that she would be doomed to a marriage with a man she did not love for her heart belonged to Devon.

  He loved her too. She could feel it in his touch, see it in his eyes. All she could conclude was that fear held him back. Perhaps, he did not trust her with Izzy. More likely, he worried about Izzy’s madness having a negative effect on their future. Maybe he believed that Josie would grow weary of Izzy. Regardless, he was a fool and she meant to tell his as much.

  Reaching his bedchamber door, she stopped and knocked.

  “Who is it?” Devon called from inside.

  She inhaled a deep breath before answering. “Josie.”

  “I told you to leave.”

  His words pierced her heart, but she would not be dissuaded. “Not until you have heard me out.”

  “There is nothing to say.”

  The hell there wasn’t. Josie reached for the handle, flung the door open, and then marched inside. He would hear what she had to say whether or not he wished to.

  Devon sat in a leather chair, his head in his hands. When she came through the door, he jerked his head up, meeting her gaze. His eyes were shadowed and pink. Lines etched the sides of his mouth and his clothes were rumpled. It was all the conformation she needed that turning her away hurt him as much as it did her. So why did he insist she leave?

  “It seems I have no choice in the matter.” He stood. “Go on. Speak your piece then be on your way.”

  She moved closer, her gaze never leaving his. “I have no wish to be on my way.”

  “You have no choice in the matter.”

  “Do hush. I have much more to say.”

  “Get on with it then.” He ran a hand through his mused hair.

  “I will not leave before telling you how I feel.” She stepped closer, bringing her chest against his. “Devon, I love you. What’s more, I know you love me too.” She stared deeper into his eyes, finding the conformation she sought. “Go on, deny it. Say you do not. That I mean nothing to you.”

  He brought his hand to the back of her neck and pulled her closer, his lips seeking hers. It was a hungry, all consuming kiss. She clung to him desperate to stay in his arms forever.

  When he broke their connection and stepped away, her heart fractured. She wanted to scream, to throw something or kick the table. Instead she drew a breath as she ran her fingers across her lips. “I feel your love. You cannot deny it.”

  “You feel lust.” He turned to gaze out the window.

  “It is love. Nothing you can say will make me believe otherwise. You are afraid so you push me away.” She stepped in front of him, taking his face in her hands and gazing into his eyes. “I am not afraid. I want you. Now. Tomorrow. Forever by my side. I want a future with you, Devon.”

  Heartbeats passed while she searched his gaze, silently begging him to embrace his emotions. Her heart would never be whole again if he refused her for a part of it would always be with him. Unable to stand the silence any longer, she said, “Devon.”

  He exhaled, his shoulders rising and falling. “You do not know what you are asking for. What a future with me would be like. The hardships you would have to face.”

  “Nonsense. I would gladly face whatever storms come our way. As long as I had you at my side, nothing else would matter.”

  “What if mother’s madness grows worse?”

  “I will love her and care for her regardless of her state of mind.”

  He narrowed his eyes on her. “And if I inherited the bad blood?”

  “I love you no matter what and that will never change.” She placed her hand on his chest. “My heart beats with yours.”

  “Would you feel the same if I passed bad blood to our children?”

  “Yes. You cannot help, nor can you control, another person’s state of mind. I will love you always, and I would love our children too.”

  “I cannot put you, myself, or our future children in such a position.” He pushed her hand from his chest. “Stop this and go. There is no future for us.”

  Tears welled in her eyes as she turned for the door. She reached for the handle, then turned back to him. “I do not believe in bad blood. I study science and medicine. Great strides are being made in both fields. Some say that we all have the capability of going mad. It only takes a life trauma to push us over the edge.”

  She tugged the door open and propelled herself into the hallway, allowing her tears to fall freely. There was nothing more she could do. She’d said what was in her heart, pleaded her case, and in the end he still turned her away.

  “Josie, darling,” Izzy’s voice rang out behind her. “Come see, Albert.”

  Josie wiped away her tears and forced a smile into place before she pivoted around. “Good morning, Izzy. I would love to meet your pet.”

  “Albert is much more than pet, darling.” She approached holding the mouse out to Josie. “Go on, touch him.”

  Josie reached out a tentative hand, scarcely believing she was about to willing touch a rodent. With one finger she stroked its wiry fur. “Hello, Albert, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

  Izzy grinned. “He said the pleasure is all his. Herbert insisted I find you and introduce the two of you.” She gazed down the hall toward her late husband
’s picture. “He thinks you are very kind.”

  Josie’s fake smile transformed into a real one. Something about Izzy set her at ease. Perhaps it was understanding the heartbreak she’d been through. A kinship of sorts, though Josie could never compare her loss to Izzy’s for Devon and she had not spent a life together. “I am honored to have met you and Albert. Please thank Herbert for me.”

  Izzy’s eyes sparkled. She placed a hand on Josie’s back and led her down the hall, stopping in front of the portrait. “You can tell him yourself.”

  Josie embraced the oddness of it all and grinned at the image. “Thank you, Herbert.”

  Izzy hugged her. “I do believe I will enjoy having you live here.”

  Josie angled her head to glance at Izzy. “I wish I were going to live here. Unfortunately, it is not to be. I am returning to London this very day.”

  A sigh escaped Izzy. “That cannot be. Herbert told me you are to marry Devon.”

  Yet again at a loss for words, Josie glanced down the hall searching for something—anything. What she found was Devon.

  Swallowing back against a fresh swell of tears, she brought her attention back to Izzy. “I fear that is not to be.”

  “You will see, darling. Mark my words.” Izzy patted her arm, then turned and strolled away with her mouse in hand.

  Josie fought the urge to seek Devon out and started back toward her room. She had to pack and inform Georgie and Felton that she was ready to leave. Lingering any longer would only add to her grief.

  * * * *

  Devon had watched Josie with Izzy, his heart swelling with overabundant joy. She’d been so patient, so accommodating. Perhaps, she had meant the words she’d spoken to him. Maybe he was a fool for turning her away. But how could he know?

  As her form disappeared down the hall, he started to go after her but stopped himself. Even though watching her leave would devastate him, he loved her too much to keep her. Returning to his room, he called for gin to be sent up. Perhaps he could drink her off his mind.