Fire in the Blood

by George McCartney

  ‘In what way?’ asked Jack.

  ‘Well she’s started going to a local gym, for a Zumba class, whatever that is and she’s been dressing quite differently. Younger, if you know what I mean. She’s also started spending a lot of time in the evenings on the internet. All that kind of thing is completely beyond me, I’m afraid. Oh, and she also goes out jogging every week like clockwork, on Tuesdays and Thursday afternoons.’

  Determined not to be left completely out of the conversation, Annie then butted in, ‘Not necessarily a cause for concern, surely. I mean loads of women do the kind of things you’ve just described. These new interests don’t necessarily mean that your wife is shagg … sorry, I mean seeing, someone else.’

  Still ignoring Annie and clearly finding the conversation an extremely painful ordeal, Robert Blake continued, ‘Quite so, if that was all there was to it. But she’s also recently insisted on separate bedrooms and, to be perfectly frank, I fear that she now finds life with me somewhat dull and predictable. As a result, I strongly suspect she is seeking diversion and excitement elsewhere.’

  ‘What do you want us to do?’

  ‘Well naturally I’m hoping that this is merely a temporary aberration on her part. She is perhaps having a mid-life crisis of some kind, which she needs to get out of her system. I’m hoping that if I can confront her with proof of any indiscretion, she may then come to her senses and life can then return to normal. I realise that may sound rather naive, pathetic even, but I just have to know the truth one way or another. So I want you to follow her and bring me details of any dalliances. Obviously the rest is then up to me.’

  Nodding, Jack explained, ‘That should be fairly straightforward. Probably only three or four days’ work, provided of course that she sticks to her normal set routine. Our fees are £500 per day, plus expenses, and on completion of the assignment we would provide you with a full written report and any relevant photographic evidence.’

  Robert Blake considered the proposal then announced, ‘That’s agreed then Mr Davidson. I’ll give you details of her diary for the next week, or so, and then leave you to get on with it.’

  Jack then added, ‘Oh, there’s one more thing. With your permission, I’d like my associate to take a quick look at your wife’s bedroom.’

  ‘Why on earth is that necessary?’ bristled Blake.

  ‘Well, in my experience, women have an instinctive feel for the tell-tale details in these delicate situations. You know, the subtle changes that women sometimes make to their clothes, shoes and perfume. The nuances which are completely invisible to mere men.’

  Reluctantly Blake eventually agreed and directed Annie towards the first floor bedroom which was currently occupied by his wife.

  Ten minutes later, as they left the Blake residence and climbed back into the Land Rover, Jack asked, ‘So, you’ve had a good shufty at her room, what do you think? Woman’s instinct, is she or isn’t she at it?’

  Annie was in no doubt and said, ‘I’ll tell you all about the room later, but yes she is definitely at it. But quite honestly she has my complete sympathy. I’ve absolutely no idea what a dalliance is, but whatever it is, it sounds a lot more exciting than going to a dinner dance at the golf club, or having a game of bridge in the drawing room with a bunch of old man Blake’s homies. It would be like appearing in an episode of The Muppets.’

  ‘Surely that’s a bit harsh, Annie. He seemed a decent enough old bloke to me. I mean obviously a bit straight-laced, definitely old school, but basically okay.’

  ‘Yeah, but you’re not married to him. The guy’s a complete control freak. Did you see the way he was dressed, how perfect everything was inside and outside the house and how he appeared to always work out all the angles before he answered a question. I bet he’s never done anything spontaneous in his entire life. Believe me, he would drive most women mad. I bet he even irons his pants.’

  Immediately on the defensive, Jack confessed, ‘I do that. Just my pants mind, nothing else. In case, you know, something happens.’

  No longer surprised by anything Jack said, Annie was nevertheless puzzled and enquired. ‘Like what?’

  As if thinking about it for the very first time, a confused Jack replied, ‘I don’t really know, my mum never said.’

  Yawning widely, Annie closed the conversation, ‘That’s really fascinating, boss, not. By the way, since I’ve apparently been promoted to Senior Associate Investigator, does that mean I get a pay rise?’

  Chapter 28

  Jack and Annie were sitting in the Land Rover, parked on a strategic hilltop which overlooked several of farmer Kemp’s largest fields, with “Further Down the Line” by Lyle Lovett playing on the little cassette recorder, with the volume turned down low. Jack looked at his watch for the umpteenth time, then yawned and stretched. ‘Three o’clock in the morning. This is completely mad, Annie, you know that don’t you? They would need to be really dumb to come back here and try the same thing over again.’

  ‘Yeah, but maybe they are really dumb.’

  ‘True enough, but you can see why they picked this farm the last time. I mean, there are no houses for two or three miles in any direction and hardly any through traffic on the road. Maybe they’re not so daft after all.’

  ‘If you weren’t here, what would you be doing back in Glasgow?’ asked Annie.

  ‘Well usually after a hard day, or an easy day for that matter, I have a few drinks down at the Royal and pick up a fish supper on the way home, then put the football on and collapse in front of the television. Believe me, when you get to my age, there’s nothing to beat stretching out on a well-padded La-Z-Boy.’

  Innocently, Annie asked, ‘Sorry, boss, did you just say that you keep a lady boy at home? Not that it’s any of my business, like.’

  ‘No, Annie, it’s not a lady boy, it’s a La-Z-Boy. You know, those big reclining arm chairs. Those are two completely different things, not to be confused under any circumstances. Anyway, this is the third night we’ve sat up here. What a complete waste of time.’

  Stretching and looking up at the clear night sky in wonder, Annie sighed, ‘But it’s not a waste of time for me. The stars are really beautiful down here … so big, so close you can almost reach out and touch them. Did you know that this area has the first designated Dark Sky Park in the whole of Great Britain. You just don’t get to see the stars like this when you live in a big city, with the light pollution from all the street lights and houses. Honestly, I could sit here all night.’

  Not impressed, Jack also yawned again and reached for a large thermos flask on the back seat of the Land Rover. ‘We have sat here all night, remember. And last night and the night before. Anyway, it’ll be light in about an hour, so if we have another coffee and the last sandwich, it’ll just about take us to knocking off time.’

  Opening the driver’s door, Annie hopped out onto the grass and said, ‘Honestly, no more coffee for me, I’m bursting for the toilet.’

  Jack teased, ‘There’s a shovel in the back, if you need it, and watch out for the cow pats and nettles. I could put the headlights on if that would help.’

  ‘That won’t be necessary, thank you,’ Annie answered primly.

  She then got out of the Land Rover and headed out of sight, just over the brow of the hill, where she suddenly saw what appeared to be the brief flash of light from a torch moving around in the field down below. Rubbing her eyes in confusion, she then saw another flash from a different location. She ran back to Jack at full speed.

  ‘Christ that was quick, a pee takes me at least ten minutes these days.’

  Breathless and urgent, Annie gasped, ‘We’ve been looking in completely the wrong direction, boss. I’m sure I just saw a couple of torches moving around, down in the other field over the hill there, behind us.’

  Jack was initially puzzled and sceptical. ‘Are you sure? But there’s no way to get from that field directly onto a road, remember. We checked it out on the map the other day.’

&nbs
p; ‘Well we must have missed something, here let me see that Ordnance Survey map again.’

  They both studied the map by torchlight for a few moments and then Jack stabbed at the map with his finger. ‘Christ there it is! How the fuck did I miss that?’

  ‘What is it?’

  Pointing at the map, Jack explained, ‘I think that’s an old unmade road there, see where it cuts through the wood. If it is, they could maybe get a lorry in, herd the cattle over to it and then load them up while we’ve been sitting here bloody stargazing. Thank God you went out for a pee.’

  ‘Oh my God, what do we do now?’

  ‘Right, if we can get down off this hill, without them hearing or seeing us, we might just have time to head them off at the pass,’ said Jack.

  Peering anxiously at the map again, Annie exclaimed, ‘But I don’t see any pass.’

  ‘Never mind, it’s just something stupid that cowboys always say when they’re setting off after the rustlers. So just try and roll this heap slowly down the field to the road, without starting the engine or using the headlights. With any luck they won’t see us coming.’

  Annie then released the handbrake and the old Land Rover gradually picked up speed and began to roll down the hill, bouncing and crashing straight through bushes and clumps of gorse, without the benefit of headlights, or engine braking.

  Holding on for dear life, Jack squealed, ‘Slow down for Christ’s sake, you’re going to kill us both.’

  With white knuckles gripping the steering wheel, Annie desperately pumped the foot brake. ‘I’m trying to sodding slow down, but the brakes on this thing are completely rubbish.’

  More by good luck than judgement they reached the road at the bottom of the hill still in one piece and Annie then re-started the engine, floored the accelerator and hurled the Land Rover round the country roads, still without using headlights.

  Desperately trying to make sense of the small scale OS map by fading torchlight, Jack hissed, ‘Okay, slow down, yes here, I think the track they’re using joins the road just around this bend.’

  Annie slowed the Land Rover about fifty yards from the indicated junction, pulled off the road under some overhanging trees and then killed the clattering diesel engine.

  Jack opened the passenger door and advised Annie, ‘Look, you stay here and watch the road and I’ll go and check down the track.’

  ‘No way, I’m not sitting here on my own in the dark. And remember boss, we’d still be sitting on the other side of the hill stargazing and drinking coffee, if it wasn’t for me,’ replied Annie firmly.

  Master and apprentice then cautiously progressed in single file along the narrow track, which was flanked by tall trees and in almost complete darkness, as a thick bank of cloud temporarily obscured the full moon.

  Jack switched the torch on momentarily, whilst hooding its beam with the OS map, and examined the surface of the rough track closely. ‘Look, see … these fresh tyre tracks there in the mud where they’ve splashed through a puddle. My Apache tracking skills are a bit rusty, but I’d bet good money that something big and heavy’s been through here not very long ago.’

  ‘Okay then, what if you’re right and it is the Barlow boys, or somebody else, trying to steal more cows, how on earth do we stop them?’

  ‘Well, Annie, if you could just lie here across the track and pretend to be dead, I’ll go and get the police. Shouldn’t take me more than an hour.’

  ‘Yeah, right.’

  ‘Or we could try and block the track with the Land Rover, but then they’d probably just walk back home and say that their lorry was stolen.’

  As they reached a bend in the unmade track, the clouds passed over once more and with the benefit of bright moonlight, the menacing dark silhouette of a huge double-deck, livestock transporter was clearly evident against the night sky.

  ‘Good Christ, it’s really going down, Annie. Okay then, if it is the Barlows, we know there’s three of them and they’re all built like brick shit houses, so confronting them directly and making a citizen’s arrest is not a goer. And considering we’re not even getting paid for this job, the smart thing is just to hang fire, phone the police and let them sort it out.’

  Annie checked her iPhone for a signal, then shook her head and asked, ‘Okay then, that’s the smart thing to do. What are we going to do?’

  ‘Bugger, I don’t believe it. I’ve got no signal either.’ Groaning, Jack scratched his head in frustration. ‘I keep forgetting that this is the fucking back of beyond, Annie. I don’t even know where the nearest manned police station is, and anyway by the time they get out of their pyjamas and send a car out here, it might be too late.’

  ‘So what are you suggesting?’

  ‘Look, I’m not going to put you in any more danger, Annie,’ said Jack, optimistically. ‘You’ve been through more than enough drama with me already. Until we can get a decent phone signal, we just need to try and slow them down a bit, without raising their suspicions. That way they’ll get caught red handed, while they’re still on local roads, when the cavalry does eventually arrive.’

  As they crept nearer to the lorry they saw that the transporter’s ramp was already down and the sound of a large number of cattle being loaded could clearly be heard.

  Annie looked around anxiously and said, ‘We don’t have much time, boss, it looks like they’re nearly finished.’

  ‘Don’t worry, this shouldn’t take long.”’

  Jack then crawled forward on his belly to the front of the transporter, still hidden from view, as the last few cows were chased on board with kicks and curses at the rear. Turning over onto his back, he then wriggled underneath the massive fuel tank and took out a small screwdriver from his pocket. After two hefty blows, using a rock as a makeshift hammer, he managed to puncture and enlarge a hole in the bottom of the fuel tank with the blade of the screwdriver. A pungent stream of diesel fuel immediately started to pour out and form a puddle on the ground below.

  Satisfied with his efforts, he then carefully retraced his route back to where Annie was keeping watch. ‘That should do it. Let’s get the hell out of here, Annie.’

  Chapter 29

  Once safely round the bend in the track, they stood up and jogged back to the Land Rover, where Jack pulled out his mobile and checked once again for a signal. ‘Shit, still nothing. You?’

  Annie stood on the vehicle’s running board and vainly waved her iPhone around above her head before announcing, ‘No, same here.’

  ‘Okay then, we stay calm and just follow them. Somewhere down the road, we must get a bloody signal and then we can call the cops.’

  The rumble of a heavy diesel engine heralded the arrival of the huge transporter back out onto the road. After a brief pause its headlights were switched on and it slowly gathered speed.

  ‘Where do you think they’re headed?’ asked Annie.

  ‘If it’s the Barlows, it could be straight round to their place, to get the old barbie fired up and chow down. But seriously, if I was standing in their filthy wellies, I think the smart thing to do would be to hook up with the buyer as quickly as possible, probably somewhere quiet near the M74 motorway. Then get paid and head home for a slap up breakfast. Job well done and it’s a helluva lot easier than farming.’

  They started to follow the lorry at a discreet distance, still driving without lights on the deserted back roads. After a few minutes Jack’s phone began to show a flickering reception signal and he quickly dialled 999, eventually getting through. So began an extremely fraught conversation with a sleepy, deeply sceptical police constable.

  ‘Hello, can you hear me? Great, thank God. I want to report the theft of some cattle.’

  Annie gestured for Jack to put the call on speaker phone, but he didn’t understand her request. However, the drift of the one-sided conversation soon became all too clear.

  ‘No, they’re not my cattle, I’ve just been guarding them.’

  ‘No, I’m not wearing leather chaps and a Stet
son. I’m not a cowboy, I’m a …’

  ‘No I don’t know what kind of cattle they are.’ Annie quickly dug him in the ribs and he then interrupted the thoroughly confused policeman, who was trying valiantly to make some sense of the call. ‘Wait, wait … yes I do know, they’re George Galloways.’

  With stress levels now comfortably up in the red zone, Jack then roared, ‘No I don’t know how many cattle have been stolen. All I can tell you is that they have been fucking stolen and I’m following the lorry the thieves are using right now. We’re heading South on the B796 about three miles from Gatehouse of Fleet.’

  The plot was then officially, totally lost as Jack bawled like a man possessed, ‘No I can’t tell you the lorry’s fucking registration number. The number plate’s completely covered in shite, and so am I, and before you ask, I can’t tell you my fucking registration number either. So stop asking stupid fucking questions and get a car over here right now.’

  Jack then tossed his phone onto the dashboard in exasperation and said, ‘Fuck it, the signal’s gone again.’

  Shaking her head, Annie asked coldly, ‘That seemed to go really well. So what happened to the private detective’s golden rule, about always keeping calm, not panicking and being professional?’

  ‘Bastard police, we’re handing them the fucking case on a plate and I’m the one getting the third degree. Typical.’

  ‘To be fair, they probably do get a lot of crazy calls in the middle of the night.’

  ‘They’re bastards, the lot of them.’

  ‘You’re starting to sound just like the farmer. So are they sending a car or not?’

  ‘I’ve no idea, Annie. We might be on our own on this one, as usual.’

  Stressed out by having to drive the ancient Land Rover, without lights on these strange twisting roads, and also by the unhelpful manner with which Jack had handled their one shot at summoning help from the police, Annie snapped, ‘You don’t have a clue where they’re going, do you?’