“Yes, and no.”
“Okay, I need more details than that.” He flashed me the smile that won so many girls over, and I couldn’t resist.
“Well, you’re good looking, and a little arrogant,” I admitted.
He nodded, but I saw a little blush.
“But I didn’t expect to have an in-depth conversation. I didn’t expect to tell you I wouldn’t sleep with you.”
He laughed. I liked making him laugh.
“I like you. I think we should be friends.”
“Oh yeah?”
“You hungry?”
“Actually, yes.”
He got up and went to the bar. There was a telephone on the wall beside it.
“Pizza?”
“Yum.”
“You’re not a vegetarian or anything are you?”
“Nope.”
“Phew.”
“Hi, can you get me a pizza? Meat feast, extra-large. And some ice cream. That chocolate one I had the other night. Thanks.”
He came and sat down in the same spot, moving his legs to fit around mine again.
“So what show were you going to see, with your friend?”
“Oh, wow, I’d better check on her really.”
His face fell, which made my heart flip.
“I’ll be back – I mean, if you want me to come back?”
“Of course.”
“Okay, well, I’ll just pop out quickly and see her.”
I slipped my shoes back on, grabbed my bag and walked back to the door.
“Ellen?”
I spun round to face him. “Yes?”
He came up to me, cupped my face in his hands and kissed me again. I felt my legs go weak and my heart speed up. It was gentler this time, more tender. Less lustful, but just as powerful. I felt the room start to spin as he flicked his tongue across my lips. Then, all too soon, he was pulling away.
“Sorry, I just really wanted to do that all night, and if your friend is awake, you might not come back.”
Sod Zoe. I’d be back.
“I’ll see you in a bit,” I said, smiling and leaving. I nodded to the security guy in the hall and tapped the button beside the elevator. It was only inside that I panicked at the thought of it breaking down with only me inside, but thankfully I got to the ground floor without any issue. I practically ran down the street to the hotel and then up to my room, and peered in. Zoe was sound asleep. I scribbled her a note saying that I’d met up with a friend – not strictly a lie, right? – and told her to call me on my mobile if she needed me.
Then I hot-footed it back to Jasper’s hotel, into the elevator, passed the security guard, who didn’t utter a word, and back to Jasper’s door. He was standing there, waiting for me.
“Pizza’s here,” he told me with a grin. I followed him in and we sat back in our previous positions, munching on our food.
“Tell me about you,” Jasper said. “What do you do?”
“I’ve just graduated,” I told him. “I’m going to work in human resources.”
“Sounds… boring.”
I laughed. “Yeah, I know. But I don’t really know I want to do.”
“What are your parents like?”
I told him about my mum’s poor cooking and my dad’s boat obsession, then about Kev and Matt and how annoying they were. I talked about my friends and before I knew it, I was boring myself, and probably Jasper, to death.
“Sorry. Enough about me.”
“No, I like hearing you talk. You’ve got a really nice voice.”
“So have you.”
“Ah, well, I bet you say that to all the singers you fancy.”
I laughed. “Who said I fancied you?”
“Oh, so you don’t?”
I shrugged. “Jury’s out.”
He laughed. “You’re a good distraction.”
“No news from your brother?”
“No, he texted while you were gone to say no change.”
“I’m sorry about the weather and your flight and everything.”
“It’s not your fault.”
I was sorry, but I couldn’t help but be grateful that I was here, with him. I’d never have met him if it wasn’t for the storm.
“So, tell me some stuff about you. Like, what’s your favourite song that you’ve recorded?”
He surprised me by talking about some Four Apes stuff.
“You prefer that to your solo albums?”
“I don’t know… yeah… Tom was an amazing song writer. He still is, actually.”
“You never speak to him?”
“Nah...”
He picked up the ice cream, which was partially melted, and lifted my legs. He moved up closed to me, so my thighs were resting on his, and offered me a teaspoon. I tucked in and scooped some out. It was delicious.
“So you haven’t got a boyfriend?”
“Nope.”
“That’s strange.”
I laughed. “How so?”
“You’re funny, smart, beautiful.”
“Well, have you got a girlfriend?”
“No, not at the moment.”
“And you’re handsome, rich, famous, funny…”
He shrugged his shoulders.
We ate some more ice cream and he talked about his dad a bit more.
“Thank you for being here with me tonight,” he said, after we’d finished eating.
“Thanks for inviting me.”
He looked at me and inched closer to my face again. I was going to let it happen, this time. This was Jasper Ryan. He needed comforting, and I needed to know if he was as good as I’d always imagined.
He started kissing me softly, then pushed me back against the sofa with a bit more force. He ran his hand from my neck to my breast and I was just about to start tugging at his clothes when his phone rang again.
“I’m so sorry,” he said, jumping up. “I’ve got to answer, it’s my sister.”
“Of course,” I said, hoping it wasn’t bad news.
“Beth?”
I went to the bathroom and let him have a moment. I stared at myself in the mirror, my hair was wild. I ran my fingers through it to flatten it a bit and splashed a little cold water on my face. When I went back into the room, Jasper was sitting on the floor beneath the window, his phone by his side. He was staring at his legs but he looked up at me as I came out and gave me a sad smile.
“Everything okay?”
“Yeah, he’s still with us. They don’t know how long he’s got, but probably less than 24 hours.”
He gulped and looked back down.
“You can cry, Jasper.”
He looked back up at me. I went and sat beside him. “It’s okay to cry, you know.”
He nodded and swallowed, and then a tear escaped and rolled down his face. I moved across to straddle his lap and put my head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around me tight and wept.
This wasn’t how I’d imagined an evening with Jasper Ryan would go, but I was very glad to be here.
Chapter Twenty-Five
After Jasper drove away from the villa, I closed the gates, took a second to compose myself, and then went back to Tom who was putting our glasses and plates in the dishwasher.
“Everything okay?” I asked him.
“Yeah, it was just my brother. He’s going out to New Zealand, wanted to know if I fancied coming with him.”
“And do you?”
“I’m not fussed.” He shrugged. “So what did you think of Jasper? He’s very different than he used to be. Calmer.”
“He was nice. I expected him to be a bit more flashy, a bit more egotistical, to be honest.”
“Yeah, that’s how he was last time I knew him. I think he’s matured a bit. And he’s off the drugs and booze so I guess that helps.”
“So you enjoyed it?”
“Yeah, more than I thought I would actually. It was like old times. We’ve aged a bit and we’ve both been angry but you know what, the bond is still there.”
The Four Apes fan inside me was pleased. The real me, getting into bed with my boyfriend, felt uncomfortable about the way Jasper had addressed me. He remembered me. And now he might be part of our lives. How would I cope with seeing him regularly when he made me feel so nervous?
Tom didn’t make any moves and I was pleased just to go to sleep. I felt guilty; guilty that I hadn’t told him, and guilty about my conversation and the tension I felt between me and Jasper.
Most of all, I couldn’t stop myself wondering what might have been if Jasper had called me seven years ago. I didn’t know whether to believe the whole phone story, but surely it would never have worked anyway, what with his wild rock ‘n’ roll lifestyle and me trying to start a career. I was young and naïve back then, I realized that now. It would never have worked.
Yet, the way he looked at me by his car… it was like we had some sort of connection. Like we were the only two people in the world.
I turned to face Tom, who was already asleep. His handsome face resting against the pillow. I loved him. My attraction towards Jasper was just a silly childhood crush gone a little too far, and after Devon I’d probably hardly ever see him. I could do this. I could let him go and concentrate on the man in front of me.
I felt calm and peaceful at the thought. I snuggled into Tom and he wrapped his arms around me.
The next morning we started packing up our stuff. The thought of returning to reality was quite a dull one; I’d be back at my desk, listening to the gossipy girls in a few days and all this, the villa, the sunsets, the heat, the rock stars coming over for dinner… it’d all be a distant, surreal memory.
Tom locked up and I leaned against the back of the Porsche, my fingers running over the silver ‘Turbo’ letters. I thought about standing in the same spot talking to Jasper the night before and my heart flipped. Ugh. I didn’t want him to make my heart flip.
Tom came towards me and I watched his handsome face smile at me as I turned and got into the car. I loved him. I didn’t doubt that. So I pushed Jasper from my mind yet again, and forced some conversation.
“Thank you for an amazing holiday,” I told Tom as he made his way back down through Montauroux.
“I’m so glad we got away, it’s been awesome,” he said, grinning at me and squeezing my thigh.
“I can’t say I’m looking forward to getting up for work on Monday,” I admitted.
“Then don’t go. Stay home with me.”
“I’m not going to sponge off you so you can stop suggesting that.”
“Well, earn your keep somehow. Maybe you could be my sex slave?”
I giggled.
“Sounds good to me. And let me cook.”
“You can cook?”
“Well, I’m not Jason Swift but I’m average.”
“All this time, you’ve let me take you out for meals and I could’ve had some proper delicious home-made cooking?”
I laughed again. “Proper delicious is stretching it.”
“I love that there’s still so much to learn about each other.”
Our conversations continued in a similar way as we headed back towards Calais. I drove for a while again. We stopped and bought croque monsieur’s from a little café, and we sang along to a variety of music.
Finally, we entered the Eurotunnel, and then a few hours after that we reached Tom’s house. Or ‘home’ as he kept insisting I call it.
The next day, Tom went to play squash, and I took the train up to Milton Keynes. It was a Sunday so the traditional Falcon family dinner was ready when I arrived.
“So what’re you going to do now, just travel up to Milton Keynes every single day?” Mum asked as we tucked into our roast dinner. Matt and Kev had been talking amongst themselves but they both stopped, as did Dad, to listen to my answer. They’d obviously all been wondering while I was away.
“I’m still not sure,” I answered truthfully. “I will to start with, but if it works out I’ll find a job closer to home.”
“And this Tom, he’s happy to keep you? You surely can’t pay half his mortgage?”
“He doesn’t have a mortgage. I will pay him rent though, I’ve insisted on it.”
“Well, good. You should pay your way.”
I glanced at Matt who rolled his eyes. Mum was always telling us to take responsibility for ourselves, no matter how old we got.
“What does Tom do?” Dad asked.
“He’s a songwriter isn’t he?” Mum knew this already.
“Yes.”
“He must’ve done well for himself, owning a villa in the south of France,” Kev chipped in.
“He’s been very successful, yes.” I told them a few songs they’d know and they all gave a general ‘ooh’ to show how impressed they were.
“So when are we going to meet him?”
“I’ll bring him up to meet you in a few weeks. We’re going to Devon soon.”
“Well, he certainly takes you travelling about a fair bit.” Mum said, as if this was a bad thing. I shrugged and hoped the twenty questions were almost over. Surely it was one of my brothers’ turns next?
“Have you heard Gran’s news?” Matt asked me, and I was grateful for the change of subject.
“I was going to visit after this,” I told him.
“Well she’s been writing to that Gordon fella you took her to meet,” Mum told me.
“And they met up again, his grandson bought him up here and they went out for dinner,” Matt carried on.
“Oh, that’s nice.” I was pleased they kept in touch.
“And now she wants to move to Bath,” Dad concluded. He didn’t look too happy. “You had to encourage her and now look what she’s planning.”
“What’s wrong with that?” I asked, feeling defensive.
“She’s going to be 90 in a few years. We can’t have her moving away, to live with some stranger.”
“He’s not a stranger, she’s known him for years. She loved him once and I suspect she loves him still.”
“Well, it’s ridiculous.” Dad never usually spoke up or gave his opinion so he was obviously affected by this.
Kevin changed the subject to football and I switched off a bit. I was excited for Gran; why not go and live it up a little? Go and be with Gordon and live out the rest of her days – hopefully still a fair few – with him in Somerset? Good for her.
She didn’t seem so excited when I arrived at her house, though.
“Oh Ellen, come in, come in,” she said, sounding agitated. No hug was offered, no tea or biscuits.
“It’s Gordon,” she began. “He’s got under my skin Ellen.”
“So I hear.”
“He’s still the same man. Your father says I can’t know him, not really. That a short affair many years ago doesn’t mean I still love him now.”
Jasper popped into my head but I pushed him out again.
“I know it sounds a little crazy, but if you can’t take a risk at my age, when can you? I’ve got nothing to lose. Gordon’s talking about buying a small apartment in a new retirement village and I’m going to try and get one next door.”
“Well, that sounds lovely.”
I tried to put some real enthusiasm into my voice.
“Your father doesn’t think so. He makes it sound sordid. Like I’m running away and cheating on your granddad!”
“He’ll come around to the idea.”
“I hope so. I would like his blessing.”
The doorbell rang. It was Matt. He’d offered to meet me here and drive me back to the station when I was ready. He suggested he make the tea and then joined us in the living room. Gran was now asking me about my holiday and I told her with glee how much I’d enjoyed it, and how things were going with Tom.
“He’s such a nice young man,” Gran told Matt. “You’ll get on well with him. And he’s on the Tube.”
“You Tube, she means.” I nodded to Matt.
“Why is he on there?” Matt asked, dunking a biscuit in his tea.
&nb
sp; “He was in Four Apes,” I told him, biting my lip.
“Oh wow! How did you manage that?” He started to laugh.
“What’s so funny?” asked Gran.
“She was obsessed with Four Apes when she was a teenager. Don’t you remember, Gran? Posters all over her walls. Jasper was your favourite wasn’t he? You knew every lyric and talked about them all the time.”
“Oh! I knew I’d heard some of that music before.”
“Yes, well, he’s just a normal guy now.”
“Wow, good for you, sis.” Matt gave me a thumbs up. I knew he’d be cool enough about it. It was Kev I was worried about teasing me. I’d decided not to mention it and hope that he didn’t recognise Tom. It didn’t seem likely, it was a long time ago after all.
I enjoyed the short car journey to the station with Matt. I didn’t get to see him on his own very often and he chatted happily about his girlfriend and his job. As we pulled up outside he pointed out something I hadn’t considered.
“So you’ll be journeying back up here in the morning, eh? For work?”
“Ah. Yes. I suppose I will.”
“Nice to see you then, Sis, have a good week.”
I gave him a quick hug and ventured into the station. It was busy but I already had a ticket so I went straight through and down to the platform. Doing this every day would be a drag, and I still wasn’t sure how I’d get on with it. Maybe I should look for a new job in London sooner rather than later.
I tried to picture my routine with Tom. What did he do all day? Write music? Go to meetings with pop stars? Plan his next drive to France? I was nervous about how things would go, with me commuting and going about my usual existence and him meeting with celebrities. Two different worlds. Could we really mix them so easily?
The train pulled up and I got in and found the last seat. There was a faint smell of vomit and the woman opposite me was picking her nose.
Hmm… doing this every day wasn’t going to be much fun.
Chapter Twenty-Six
It was Thursday and day four of my new routine.
So far, so good. I’d managed to get up and get the train early enough to make it to the Milton Keynes office for 8:30, which meant I could leave and get the 5pm train home each evening. I was averaging on getting in about 6:30pm, and each day Tom had some food waiting for me – so far a Chinese take away, a Waitrose pizza, and then an Indian take away. My waistline was going to take a hit but maybe when I got more organised I could cook and freeze some meals for during the week.
The Truth About Ellen: A feel-good romantic comedy Page 15
