Daniel's Desire

by Sherryl Woods

  Kathleen nodded. “How could I forget?”

  Sean regarded them with bewilderment. “Why was I up there?”

  “The neighbor’s cat,” his father said. “Poor, pitiful thing was meowing her head off, and you couldn’t stand it. Everyone else was wringing their hands, and you slipped around back, found a ladder and scampered right up there.”

  Kevin was clearly intrigued, but Sean frowned at him. “Don’t go getting any ideas.”

  “Amen,” Deanna said, giving her son a forbidding look as the others chuckled at the disappointment on Kevin’s face.

  “We had two fine sons,” Connor said, turning to smile at his wife. “But my Kathleen was aching for a daughter.” He focused on Michael. “That would be you, son.”

  The laughter grew louder and less tense as everyone gazed at Michael, who couldn’t have looked less feminine. His years in the Navy and his struggle to overcome injuries caused by a sniper’s bullet had given him a powerful build.

  Connor shook his head, his expression nostalgic. “If we thought Ryan was strong and Sean was fearless, you put the two of them to shame. There was nowhere they went that you didn’t sneak off to follow them. If they took a risk, you took a more dangerous one. They were your heroes, but there was little question that one day you’d do something heroic yourself.”

  Daniel heard the words and felt a sudden twinge of suspicion. “Michael was a Navy SEAL, but you knew that, didn’t you, Dad?”

  Connor kept his gaze on Michael and nodded slowly. “I did. I kept up with each of you. I worried over your unhappiness and made myself sick thinking about the danger some of you put yourselves in. I blamed myself for making you think that your lives were worth so little that you might as well risk them.”

  Kathleen stared at him in shock. “You knew where they were? You knew what they were doing? You knew all of that and didn’t tell me?”

  He regarded her apologetically. “It was selfish, I know that now, but I thought I was protecting you, making it easier for you to bear being separated from them, if we never talked about them. I guess in the back of my mind, I thought that I would know if they truly needed us, and that then I’d tell you and we’d decide what to do together.”

  “But we did need you,” Ryan said angrily. “Time and again.”

  “And I almost reached out,” Connor told him. “I heard about the trouble you were getting mixed up in, the petty shoplifting and such. I was about to come for you myself and shake some sense into you, but Father Francis stepped in. He gave you what you needed.”

  Ryan still looked angry, but he nodded. “He was my salvation, no question about it.”

  “So, if you cared enough to keep track of all of us, why the hell did you dump us in the first place?” Michael demanded.

  To Daniel’s surprise, his father didn’t take offense at his son’s tone.

  “You recall that your mother wanted a little girl. She’d just gotten pregnant again when I lost my job. I picked up work here and there, but I couldn’t find a steady paycheck. Feeding three boys required more money than was coming in. We struggled over that and over doctor’s bills and rent.”

  “And then you had us?” Patrick said, looking shaken. “Twins, when even one more baby was going to be a strain?”

  “The timing was unfortunate,” their father admitted. “But we looked at the two of you and you stole our hearts, just as your brothers had. For a long time, we told ourselves that things were going to get better, that I’d find another job and we’d land on our feet, but it didn’t happen.”

  He gazed around the room at his sons. “I don’t believe any of you have been out of work or desperate, but that’s the way I was feeling. And Patrick and Daniel, bless ’em both, weren’t easy babies, the way you other boys were. They had powerful sets of lungs and difficult dispositions.”

  “That hasn’t changed much,” Alice said, giving Patrick’s hand a squeeze.

  “I remember the fighting,” Ryan suddenly said softly. “You and Mom were fighting for the first time I could ever remember.”

  “We were,” Connor confirmed. “I knew that something had to change or I would lose my wife, lose everything that mattered to me. I knew we had to leave Boston and start over fresh.”

  Sean stared at him. “So you divided the family in half and tossed us aside to save the rest?” he asked heatedly. “What kind of choice is that?”

  “A desperate one,” Connor said. “The twins were little more than babies. They needed us. You three were strong. Young as you were, you were already independent. We knew you could make it without us, at least for a time. I hoped we’d be able to come back for you, but as time passed, it seemed best to leave things as they were. We believed you would find good homes, have a better chance than we could give you. I’m not saying it was a good decision, but it was the only one I could make at the time. Not a day has gone by that I haven’t prayed to God to keep you safe. Not a day has passed that I haven’t regretted what I did, but God help me, I didn’t know what else to do.”

  Kathleen reached for her husband’s hand and clung to it. “We didn’t know what else to do,” she said softly. “I don’t know if you’ll ever be able to forgive us. I don’t know if we’ll ever forgive ourselves, but we did the only thing that seemed to make sense at the time. We gave you three—Ryan, Sean and Michael—a chance at a better life than the one we could give you.”

  “You abandoned us,” Michael said fiercely. “Okay, I was lucky. I wound up with a family that gave me all the emotional support a scared kid could need, but Ryan didn’t. Sean didn’t. How was that for the best?”

  “If we’d kept all of you, there was little question that your father and I would eventually divorce,” Kathleen said. “It was that bad between us. You’d have been no better off.”

  “We’d have been together,” Michael said. “We’d have known what it meant to be a family, even if it was a family that had to struggle. Or you could have agreed to an adoption.”

  “That would have been so final,” Kathleen said, her voice breaking.

  Daniel looked into his mother’s eyes and saw heartbreak, but he could barely sympathize. He was too caught up in his own sense of guilt, even though he knew it was ridiculous. He and Patrick hadn’t been given a choice back then. They hadn’t asked to be the ones chosen to stay behind. He glanced at his twin and saw that he was struggling with some of the same emotions. Because they’d been barely more than babies, because they’d been helpless and needy, they’d gotten to stay with their parents.

  “If Patrick and I hadn’t been born,” he began.

  “Don’t you dare go there,” his mother said, cutting him off. “You and Patrick brought such joy into our lives.”

  “More than Ryan, Sean and Michael had?” he asked.

  “You can’t trade the joy of one child for another,” his mother responded.

  “But you did,” he reminded her. “That’s exactly what you did.”

  He felt Molly’s hand squeeze his, but it was scant comfort. He looked at his older brothers. “I’m so sorry.”

  Ryan scowled at him. “You have nothing to be sorry for. Don’t be crazy. You and Patrick were barely two when all of this happened. I can see why Mom and Dad felt they had no choice but to look out for you.”

  “You can?” his mother said eagerly.

  Ryan nodded slowly. “I look at Caitlyn now and know that I could never abandon her when she’s so young. I think about the way I was at nine and I was tough. The truth is, I did make it—not without a lot of mistakes, but I made it.”

  “That’s what we counted on,” their father said.

  Ryan held up a hand. “Wait, now. I’m not saying I agree with your decision or even that I can forgive it, but at least now I can understand it a little better.” He looked around the room. “I think we’re all pretty well wiped out now. Why don’t we call it a night and sleep on all of this, maybe talk again in the morning?”

  “What’s left to say?” Connor
Devaney asked. “I’ve told you what happened and why. I won’t spend the rest of my days trying to defend it.”

  “And we’re not asking you to,” Ryan said.

  “But we need to keep talking, Dad,” Daniel said. “I don’t want to lose this chance to know my brothers, and I don’t think you want to lose this chance to know them and their wives and their children…your grandchildren. Please agree to come back tomorrow.”

  “We’ll be here,” his mother said, giving his father a look that dared him to challenge her.

  Connor sighed. “If it’s what your mother wants, we’ll be here.” He glanced at Molly. “I don’t suppose you still have your grandfather’s recipe for waffles, the old-fashioned kind?”

  Molly grinned. “I do indeed. I’ll make up a batch.”

  Caitlyn, who’d been half-asleep in her grandfather’s arms for some time now, woke up in time to hear. She clapped her hands together. “I love waffles.”

  “Me, too,” Kevin chimed in. “I can eat three of them.”

  “I can eat more,” Caitlyn said.

  Daniel saw his mother’s eyes turn misty. “Mom, what is it?”

  “They sound just like Ryan, Sean and Michael and the way they tried to outdo each other. It takes me back,” she said. She smiled at Molly. “Something tells me you’d best be prepared to make a lot of waffles in the morning, but I wouldn’t be surprised if quite a few of them wind up needing to be thrown out.”

  Molly squeezed her hand. “Not a problem.”

  “Just be sure I get mine first,” Daniel said.

  Molly rolled her eyes. “You really do need to learn to share,” she scolded.

  “Yeah, Daniel. I’ve been telling you the same thing for years,” Patrick chimed in.

  Suddenly the room was alive with teasing banter and laughter. To hear their wives tell it, sharing seemed to be a problem for all of the Devaney men.

  Daniel leaned back and listened, suddenly content. It was noisy and chaotic, but he had Molly beside him and his family all in the same place. It wasn’t perfect, but it was real. This was it. This was the way a family was supposed to be.

  And God willing, it was the way his family would be from now on.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Molly had spent the entire morning making waffles. Even though she’d been running Jess’s for years now, she’d never dealt with so many men with such huge appetites and the streak of competitiveness that seemed to drive them all to try to outdo each other.

  Tired as she was, though, she couldn’t help feeling satisfied that she’d had a small part in this reunion that meant so much to Daniel. She stood behind the bar and watched him with his brothers. There was still a certain reserve there on his part. She knew that came from his self-imposed and unwarranted sense of guilt over what had happened to them, but Ryan, Sean and Michael were slowly chipping away at it.

  They were good men, she thought. And in time they would forgive, if not forget, what Connor and Kathleen Devaney had done to them. As their families grew and everyday stresses came along to challenge them, their understanding of that impossible choice would deepen, too.

  She was putting away the last of the glassware when Daniel slipped up behind her and put his arms around her.

  “You’re awfully quiet this morning,” he said. “Everything okay?”

  She smiled. “I like watching you with your family. I always liked being with your folks, but it still seemed as if something was missing.”

  “It was,” he said quietly.

  “I think they’ve made progress this weekend, though, don’t you?”

  “I do,” he said. “Michael’s even lost that edge to his voice. And Caitlyn and Kevin are so enthralled with their new grandparents, who seem intent on spoiling them rotten, that they won’t let Ryan or Sean be strangers.”

  She turned to face him. “You must be happy.”

  “I am,” he said.

  But Molly heard the hint of hesitation in his voice. “Daniel, stop blaming yourself. It’s crazy.”

  “I know,” he said. “In my head, I can hear how ridiculous I sound when I say it. I was two, for goodness sakes.” He patted his chest. “But in here, I feel so responsible for costing them so much.”

  “Stop it,” she said. “They gained a lot, too. And now you all have a chance to have what you should have had from the beginning, a whole family.”

  He grinned at her. “You’re so smart.”

  “I know.”

  “And sexy.”

  “I know that, too.”

  “Think anybody would notice if I kissed you?” he asked.

  “Do you care?”

  He touched her cheek, his gaze darkening. “No. Come to think of it, I don’t.”

  He settled his mouth over hers, kissing her in a way guaranteed to have her blood heating and her heart pounding. Her head was spinning when she heard the first hoots and shouts.

  Daniel started to withdraw, then grinned. “Ah, what the hell?” he said, and picked up where he’d left off.

  When they finally separated, Connor was standing next to them. “Son, you kiss a woman like that in public, you’d better be making a declaration,” he said. He was scowling, but there was a definite twinkle in his eyes.

  “I suppose I am,” Daniel said, returning his father’s gaze evenly.

  A grin spread across Connor’s face. “About damn time,” he said, then lifted his glass. “To Molly and Daniel.”

  “Dad!” Daniel protested. “Hold on.”

  “What?” Connor asked.

  “She hasn’t said yes yet.”

  Molly blushed when Connor Devaney turned to her with blue eyes exactly like his son’s.

  “Well?” he demanded.

  She wasn’t about to let the two of them bully her into a quick reply. “I haven’t heard a proper question yet,” she said mildly.

  Daniel’s father grinned. “Guess that kiss didn’t pass the test, after all, son.”

  Daniel frowned. “It was a perfectly fine kiss.”

  “It was,” Molly agreed. “But I think the occasion calls for words, don’t you? You’re a glib Irishman. Surely you know how to woo me.”

  “Come on, Daniel,” Patrick hollered. “Let’s hear the pretty words. I’d kinda like to hear you do a bit of groveling.”

  “Yeah, Daniel,” his brothers chorused.

  Molly took pity on him. “You don’t have to let them push you into anything you don’t want to do,” she pointed out.

  “I want to do this,” he said grimly. “I just hadn’t expected to have an audience, but I suppose it’s fitting that I do this right here and now, in front of the family I’ve wanted reunited for so long. They’re proof that dreams can come true and that odds can be overcome.”

  Caitlyn chose that moment to join them. She gazed at her uncle with wide eyes. “Momma says you’re gonna propose,” she announced, drawing laughter. “Are you?”

  Daniel grinned weakly. “That seems to be the plan.”

  Caitlyn nodded. “Okay. You got a ring?”

  “As a matter of fact, I do,” he said, catching Molly completely off guard.

  “Can I see?” Caitlyn asked.

  Daniel sighed heavily and drew a box out of his pocket, but held it just out of the child’s reach. “I think Molly should see it first, don’t you?”

  “How come?” Caitlyn asked.

  “Because she’s the one I’m asking to marry me,” Daniel explained, his gaze seeking out Molly’s.

  Caitlyn seemed to accept that. She, too, gazed at Molly expectantly.

  “Well?” Daniel prodded.

  Molly wasn’t quite ready to take pity on him yet. She turned to the crowd. “Did you hear a question? I didn’t hear one.”

  “Neither did I,” Maggie said.

  “None I recognized,” Deanna agreed.

  “Come on, son,” Connor urged. “My drink’s getting warm, while you fiddle around.”

  Daniel rolled his eyes. “Like there isn’t enough
pressure,” he muttered, then sucked in a breath and regarded her with a serious expression. “Molly Creighton, it looks as if the time and place have been chosen for me to say this, but it’s been in my heart for a long time now. I love you.”

  Molly felt her heart fill with joy.

  “You complete me,” he continued. “We’ve had our share of struggles, but we’ve grown stronger because of them. I doubt there’s anything we can’t weather as long as we’re together and have faith in what we feel at this moment. Please don’t be put off by this roomful of Devaneys. Something tells me they’ll bring a lot of happiness into our lives.” He glanced over his shoulder. “One of these days, anyway.”

  “If it would help you out, we could offer testimonials,” Maggie called out.

  Daniel waved her off, fighting a grin. “Thanks, Maggie. I’ll handle this. Like Patrick said, I have some groveling left to do.”

  Molly fought a smile. “When, exactly?”

  “Now, dammit. Stop rushing me.”

  She held up her hands. “Sorry.”

  He drew in a deep breath and lifted his gaze to meet hers. “What I’ve been trying to say so that you won’t doubt it is that I love you. I always have, even if I acted like a fool a while back and lost my way. I’m praying with all my heart that you’ll look past that and that you’ll love me enough to marry me, to share this family with me, to have a family of our own. I know it’s been a long time coming, but will you marry me, Molly?”

  Molly swallowed hard and blinked back the sudden sting of salty tears. “Yes,” she whispered, barely able to get the word past the lump in her throat.

  “Can I see the ring now?” Caitlyn demanded impatiently.

  Molly laughed. Being part of this huge family that was still struggling to find its way was going to present challenges, but as long as Daniel was by her side, every moment would be worth it.

  She winked at Caitlyn, then said, “By all means, Daniel, show us the ring.”

  It was a simple emerald-cut diamond in a platinum band with baguettes on either side. It was gorgeous, far too beautiful to put on her work-roughened hands. She hesitated before holding out her left hand. Daniel slipped the ring on, then kissed her knuckles as if to put her self-consciousness to rest.