Come Pour the Wine

by Cynthia Freeman

  Violet let it pass. “Tell me about this young woman.”

  He hated being questioned. This was going to be like a cross-examination on the witness stand. “What would you like to know, mother … ?”

  “Where does she come from?”

  “Kansas. Wichita, Kansas.”

  “I hope she’s not Catholic.”

  What the hell did that mean? “No,” he snapped back, “as a matter of fact she’s part Jewish.”

  Silence prevailed. “Jewish?”

  Bill sat in shock.

  What the hell was wrong with her. She wasn’t anti-Semitic. She had never been anti-anything, for that matter, unless it threatened her little world. His father’s firm had started with the name of Unger & McNeil and Abraham and Rosalyn Unger had been accepted as family. She was using this as a ploy. He hadn’t realized how really devious she could be until now. The echoes of Kit … “Your mother’s devious, Bill …” He had rejected it before but he was beginning to believe it now … “Just part Jewish, mother, but you’ll be happy to know that Janet’s family are good Protestants … same as we are and much more churchgoing. Any other questions?”

  Violet sat quietly. When she did not respond, Bill said, “In that case I’ll be seeing you soon. Take care.” He walked out, slamming the door behind him….

  Alone, Violet let the tears come down. He was his father’s son, all right. And she was losing him again, maybe irrevocably this time….

  Driving back to Manhattan, Bill sat behind the wheel hating himself. Yes, his mother was manipulative, maybe even devious, but he shouldn’t have hurt her so badly … or at least been so rough on her. Sure she’d made him mad. But she was still his mother and he loved her … but God, the time had come when he had to be a free adult man, belong to himself. Life could sure push you into the corners … trading off someone else’s happiness for your own … He pressed down the accelerator. Hard.

  The magnificent antiques Kit had acquired from her mother were gleaming in the flickering light cast by tall tapers on the rose marble mantel. Two large arrangements of exotic flowers completed the festive setting, their perfume lightly scenting the air.

  Kit sat at one end of the dining room table, looking radiant with shimmering crystal beads at the neck, and Nat, sitting opposite her, looked especially handsome and happy tonight.

  Bill looked from Kit, the dark-haired olive-skinned beauty, to Janet, exquisite in a dress of hyacinth tissue taffeta, heightening the effect of her violet blue eyes, her fair, delicate skin and that wondrous mane of silk.

  Then he switched his attention to Charles’s wife Carol and wondered what it was that made their marriage work so well. The differences in their personalities were startling. Carol bordered on the shy, just pretty enough not to be unattractive, and Charles had always been so outgoing, had always had his pick of girls, was a great conversationalist and so forth. What was the chemistry that went on, Bill wondered? Better not to know …

  Janet’s thinking was not so different, though with a variation. She too looked around the table … at Kit and Nat, Charles and Carol. Kit and Nat seemed especially in tune with each other tonight, and now that Janet was getting to know Carol better she saw the essential gentleness of her nature and her look of quiet pride and love when she turned to her husband. And what wife wouldn’t be pleased to have a husband as attractive, warm and open as Charles? They seemed to complement each other almost perfectly.

  It was amazing, really, that Kit and Nat or Charles and Carol had somehow managed to find each other among the multitudes of men and women. Was it accident, something predestined, that had brought them together? And what about herself and Bill? The last time this group had been together was that disastrous night of Kit’s birthday party, when Janet would have bet her life that she and Bill were never meant even to be civil together. But tonight …

  When the table had been cleared for dessert, the maid filled the hollow-stemmed champagne glasses and Charles launched into one of his jokes. As the laughter subsided Kit stood up and tapped a spoon against her glass for silence. Smiling at Nat, she said, “Here’s to you, darling. To a long life filled with joy, and a few friendly fights so we can appreciate the good things even more.”

  And then Kit announced, “Ladies and gentlemen, I’m here to tell you that we were married yesterday before sundown in the rabbi’s study.”

  Complete silence for a moment, then everyone seemed to talk at one time and Charles said, “How come you didn’t tell your own brother, so I could give you away?”

  “No one had to give me away. Nat took me the way I am.”

  “Yes,” Nat said, putting his arm around her, “but it took me two years to talk you into it.”

  “Don’t ever say I didn’t warn you,” Kit replied.

  Janet got up and kissed her friend. “Kit, I’m so happy for you.” Kit gave her a warm hug, suddenly sensitive to the hopes Janet must be feeling about her relationship with Bill at this moment. Janet, hung up on a man who acted as though Independence Day had been created with him alone in mind …

  Charles was shaking hands with Nat. “Congratulations. You married yourself quite a woman. And I’m proud of you, Kit, for picking the best.”

  “We Barstows always had a lot of class. Look at you and Carol. You couldn’t have done better.”

  Carol kissed her new sister-in-law. “Kit … Nat, I hope you’ll be as happy as Charles and I have been.”

  “Even half as happy would do,” Kit said, her eyes suddenly moist as she remembered what Carol had meant to Charles after the death of their parents; it was Carol who had helped him out of those long, long nights of despair.

  Bill was standing in front of Kit. “You know what I wish for you, don’t you?” he said, thinking of how she had always been there, strong and sympathetic, when the going got rough.

  She knew he wanted the best for her. And in a curious way she had him to thank for making her appreciate what she had with Nat. You’re a taker, Bill, not a giver, but I love you in spite of it all… and God help Janet.

  Bill kissed her, then shook hands with Nat. “You’re a lucky man.” As he sat down, though, he suddenly felt a sense of loss, and envy. His two best friends were married. And where did that leave him … ? He looked briefly at Janet, then quickly away….

  Janet lay snug in Bill’s arms that night, but she hardly felt secure. Staring up at the ceiling in the dark, she could still see Kit standing alongside of Nat as they cut their wedding cake after the big announcement. Kit’s hand had shaken badly but Nat’s had steadied it. It was a sight she would never forget. Kit had revealed a side of herself that few had ever seen. The conversation still rang in her ears …

  “I still don’t understand why you didn’t tell me you were getting married,” Charles had said.

  “Sorry, brother dear, but there’s that one special moment in every person’s life and for me that moment was marrying Nat. I didn’t want to share it with anyone. It’s crazy, but then whoever said I was sane? But tonight I want to share it with those I feel closest to. I just wish Nat’s mother and father were here … well, when they get back from Europe we’ll have a bash.”

  Bill felt uneasy too. Kit’s words hung in his thoughts. What the hell is freedom? As Janet moved restlessly at his side he drew the sheet over her shoulder and looked at her in the dark shadows of the room. What he’d seen tonight between Kit and Nat reminded him of the saying that you’re not really whole until it’s we, not me … But I’ve never really even been me … No, I’ve spent my whole life being or reacting to what other people wanted me to be. He’d always been pulled in two directions, as his mother’s and sisters’ darling little boy or his father’s successful man-of-the-world son. And now he had a choice between being Janet McNeil’s husband, maybe even someone’s father, or being her lover and finally his own person. Janet McNeil? Weddings always affected people.

  The next day at work Janet was slipping into her jacket to go out for lunch when Kit walked int
o the dressing room.

  “What are you doing here? I thought you’d be on your honeymoon.”

  “I am … have been for two years. Come on, I’ll buy you lunch.”

  As they sat over salads in their favorite restaurant, Kit said, “I gave my notice today. I’m through showing off this fabulous body of mine … going to save it for Nat only.”

  “I’ll miss you, Kit,” Janet said very quietly.

  “Why? I’m only giving up modeling, not going to Outer Mongolia.”

  “I know, but it won’t be the same. For me, I mean.”

  “Why, do you think getting married takes you away from the world? We’ll still meet for lunch, for God’s sake, and continue as we have before.”

  “Of course we will … Being married must be wonderful—”

  “It is,” Kit replied after a pause. “It’s something you can’t explain. Here Nat and I carried on like mad for two years and on our wedding night I felt like a virgin, an honest-to-God bride. Would you believe it?”

  “I’m very happy for you, Kit. It all seemed so sudden, though. You never mentioned getting married—”

  “It wasn’t sudden at all, not really. Nat kept badgering me and I kept telling him I was a lousy risk.”

  “Why would you think that?”

  “I don’t know. I could have gone on with Nat for the rest of my life just as we were and never being unfaithful. It was just my own crazy fears, I guess.” Kit broke off and took a sip of her Bloody Mary, uncomfortably aware of Janet’s surprised expression.

  “I’d never imagine you being afraid of anything, Kit. Why were you afraid of getting married?” Janet watched as her friend carefully folded the moist edges of her cocktail napkin around the bottom of her glass, then smoothed it flat again.

  “I adored my mother and father,” Kit finally said. “There weren’t two more wonderful people in the world. I was sixteen when they went off on a holiday and died in an airplane crash. I went completely to pieces … wound up in a sanitarium for a year. I never told you, I guess because it’s no use reliving the thing. But I was very bitter. It seemed so senseless that they should die. So damned unjust … I just hated the whole damn world … it was impossible to believe in anything. Somehow I managed to get through the next few years, but the pain of losing them hadn’t softened too much. Maybe that’s why I reached out to Bill that summer. Then I met Nat two years ago. I don’t know exactly what attracted me to him, but attracted I was and I needed a lover, a sweet, tender lover to make me feel … some emotion. Nat did that. Then I got scared when I realized I was beginning to like him more than I wanted to. We broke up any number of times … it was all my fault. He put up with a hell of a lot of nonsense from me but he kept coming back. Don’t think I didn’t know I was destroying the best thing that ever happened to me. But tell a drunk not to take a drink. I was crazy nuts with fear.”

  “But what were you afraid of?”

  “Afraid to love because loving always seemed to result in pain. Losing the most important people in your life changes you. You get gun-shy … sure, parents die, but they should have lived a full life right into old age. That’s the way it should have been. But my mother was thirty-seven and my father was buried on his fortieth birthday.” She paused and took a sip from her drink. “Well anyway, Nat hung in there with me through brimstone and fire. To make a story short, the other day he gave me an ultimatum. It was either-or. He wants to start a family. I’m twenty-five and I don’t want to risk losing Nat and going through life without someone to love. I guess he taught me that love can give you enough emotional ballast to accept whatever comes. It wasn’t an easy lesson to learn, but Nat was a good teacher.” Kit smiled. “Yes, sir, he sure was, and all those ghosts are just about gone. I’m going to have a family as soon as possible. It will be like being reborn. Literally and figuratively. It took Nat to make me see that … Did you know that Jews name their children for the dead? It’s like the perpetuation of life. And it’s just one of a whole lot of reasons I’m going to become Jewish … Nat and I are going to Europe. We’re meeting his folks in Paris, then spending a month in London. I’m going to buy up a storm in furniture because when we come home we’re going to buy a place in Westchester. Janet, I’m going to be the best wife and mother the world ever saw. Mrs. Nathan Weiss is going to lick the whole goddamn world … My God, I have to clean up my language, for the children’s sake. Seriously … I don’t need the cussing anymore because the anger is gone. Anger and love are mutually incompatible.”

  Kit’s courage, strength seemed to fortify Janet. Love really could conquer all. Looking at the peace in Kit’s eyes she realized that, yes, Bill had his fears too, and she understood them, thanks in part to Kit.

  That evening, she felt closer to her goal when Bill said, “We’re driving out to Long Island on Sunday.” She knew he’d never done that before … taken a girl home to his mother.

  Happy as she was about it, she became more nervous as the week wore on, and by the time they drove up in front of the mansion she had a stomach full of very active butterflies. Would his mother like her? And if she didn’t … ? Kit had told her that Mrs. McNeil wasn’t likely to relinquish her claim without a battle. Yes … it was true that she and Bill were becoming closer all the time, but if he were forced to choose …

  Janet waited nervously in the living room with Bill for Mrs. McNeil to come down that long winding staircase. When Mrs. McNeil finally made her entrance, she was dressed in a long flowered chiffon gown. She was not the diminutive, aging creature Janet had imagined from Bill’s description. She looked both regal and formidable. Intimidating, in fact, at least to Janet. This woman could change her life. Stop it, Janet. But the admonition had little effect. The echo of Kit’s words sounded too clearly.

  “Mother, this is Janet Stevens.”

  Mrs. McNeil took Janet’s hands in hers and held them. “You are just as Bill described you … so very, very lovely, my dear, and I couldn’t be more pleased at Bill’s choice … I’m so happy for my son.”

  Bill paled at his mother’s words. He had told her very little about Janet. Nothing, in fact, except that while she was a lovely person he was far from sure about his feelings or intentions. And yet here his mother was acting as though they had just announced their engagement … ?

  Why indeed … Because Violet had debated with herself how best to handle the situation and being a veteran at handling such matters, had decided that no apparent offense gave the opposition no defense. To argue with Bill would only push him closer to this girl. She knew her Bill. He had, more and more, a mind of his own, it seemed, and had already made one upsetting break. Bill was not Jason, who mostly could be wrapped around her little finger except for that time he defied her and sent Bill to military school … Violet looked at her son, took his hand. “You’re a naughty boy not to have brought this beautiful child to meet me sooner. Of course you have been traveling a lot recently. I’d forgotten about that.” Still smiling graciously, she turned from him to Janet. “Now come sit down, dear, and tell me all about yourself.”

  All of Janet’s fears went up in smoke that moment. It was almost too much to believe that Bill had told his mother all about her, and it could mean only one thing, couldn’t it? And perhaps the battle Kit had warned her about was already in the past and Mrs. McNeil had made her peace with Bill’s decision? It certainly seemed so, judging by her obvious interest as she drew Janet into conversation about herself, doing her best, it seemed, to put Janet at ease …

  It was Bill who seemed tense, even surly with his mother. He didn’t relax until Harriet and Gordon walked in. Harriet threw her arms around Bill. “Sorry we’re late, but Gordon got into a sandtrap and couldn’t hack himself out … I think it took fifteen strokes.”

  “That’s a lie, Harriet, and you know it. I was out in three … Glad to see you, Bill.”

  Bill shook hands with him, then said, “Janet, I want you to meet my sister Harriet, and Gordon, my brother-in-law.”

>   Harriet looked like Bill. A handsome woman, tall, athletic and tanned. Her eyes and the gentle pressure of her handshake seemed to say that she knew how tough it was to meet a man’s family for the first time, and her genuine and open manner put Janet immediately at ease. Gordon was no less cordial, and by now Janet was both pleased and perplexed. They were all behaving so differently than she’d expected. Even—or especially—Bill.

  “Gordon, you fix drinks while I go up and change,” Harriet said, starting up the stairs with her cleated shoes in hand.

  Bill followed his sister. “Harriet, I want to talk to you.”

  “Sure, but it will have to wait for a few minutes. I need a shower.”

  While he waited for her to come out of the bathroom he stood by the bedroom window, looking out to the oak tree he’d climbed as a boy. He’d slept in the treehouse one night without telling his mother, he recalled, and she had frantically set their half dozen gardeners on a search of the grounds. In the morning he had finally surrendered, and now he felt a perverse combination of pleasure and pain over the amount of worry he’d caused.

  “So what do you want to talk about?” Harriet asked, rousing him from his reverie as she entered the room.

  “Harriet, you’ve got to do something about mother.”

  “Such as?”

  “Have a talk with her. You should have been here earlier.”

  “Really? Why?” she asked, sitting down on the bed to towel-dry her hair.

  “When I introduced her to Janet she acted like the mother-in-law to be.”

  “She was only being polite. For Pete’s sake, isn’t there any pleasing you? She could have been a stinker, you know.”

  “I almost wish she had. But she went to the other extreme.”

  “How?”

  “By deliberately giving Janet the impression I had confided in her. She blew the whole thing out of proportion. I didn’t tell her I was in love—”

  “Are you?”