Mums Just Wanna Have Fun

by Lucie Wheeler

  ‘Oh?’ she replied.

  ‘He sends his apologies but something has come up and he cannot make your date. He has offered for you to have whatever you want and he will pay the bill by way of apology.’ The waiter hovered whilst Nancy took in the information he had relayed to her. She was genuinely upset that he wasn’t coming, she had really been looking forward to getting to know him better. But then the more it sunk in, the more the frustration began to brew. After going to all the effort to arrange this, he’d stood her up. She had a bolt of guilt when she realised that maybe something had happened with Aiden and that’s why he couldn’t come – something ‘coming up’ could mean anything.

  ‘Its fine, I’ll just make my way home. Thank you. Can I just pay for the wine please?’

  The waiter held up his hand. ‘No need, it’s all sorted. Your date has already left his card details for your meal.’

  Nancy smiled, what a gentleman. ‘OK, well thank you and I’m sorry to have taken up your table.’

  ‘Have a lovely evening, ma’am.’

  Nancy picked up her bag and began the short walk back to the hotel. The view was beautiful along the seafront so instead of walking straight back, seeing as Harriet was looking after Jack, Nancy decided to walk towards the beach with the plan of walking part of the way home in the sand.

  ‘Hari?’ she called down the receiver, wondering what was taking her so long to go into her room and grab the leaflet. She was tempted to just hang up and text her to let her know what had happened. She would see it soon enough when she returned to the phone. Knowing Harriet, she’d probably been distracted by an email pinging up on her laptop or something and forgotten Nancy was on the phone. She would give her another minute and then just end the call.

  The horizon was a beautiful streak of pink and navy and as Nancy stepped onto the beach, the sand still felt warm between her toes. This holiday had been a real eye-opener for her. She had been seriously let down by Pete and, thinking about how Cameron standing her up made her feel, maybe Jack was right; maybe it was better being just the two of them. Coming on this holiday and getting away from the house that she’d shared with Pete for so many years, she was able to see a bit clearer and she’d realised that she didn’t need him – or anyone else for that matter. She was coping fine by herself and Jack was doing really well. He had made such good progress in the short space of time they had been here – and she started to wonder if the life they used to lead back home, the house they lived in and the constant reminder of what they used to have, might be making the transition to life without Pete harder to do.

  And then there was Cameron. He was lovely, and Nancy had enjoyed flirting with him and just the fact that she was able to do so meant that she had come a little further in getting over Pete and that made her happy. Cameron might not be the one but spending time with him had meant that she had got to know herself a little more. It didn’t have to lead anywhere. People come into your life for a reason; maybe Cameron’s reason was to make Nancy realise that she was capable of being on her own.

  ‘Nancy!’

  ‘Oh about bloody time – did you go to the moon and back or something.’ Nancy laughed, ‘Hey listen, Cameron hasn’t stood me up…’

  ‘Nancy…’

  ‘I just got a call from him at the restaurant. Well, I didn’t get a call, the waiter did. He then came and told me and—’

  ‘For God’s sake Nancy, SHUT UP!’

  She froze on the spot, her phone glued to her ear and her face creased in confusion. Harriet had never spoken to her like that before but there was a tone of terror in her voice and it unsettled Nancy right to the core. ‘What’s wrong?’

  ‘It’s Jack.’

  The words hit her with such force she almost felt winded by them. Her heartrate increased tenfold at the sound of her son’s name, a thousand scenarios ran through her mind and the second’s pause in Harriet’s voice felt like years.

  ‘What?’ she croaked.

  ‘Nancy, he’s gone.’

  Chapter 36

  ‘Gone? What do you mean gone?’

  She was glued to the spot, unable to move anything but her chest as she panted. Her heart was racing a thousand beats per minute, the blood pulsating through her veins, the ringing in her ears increasing. Was this what a heart attack felt like? Was she going to collapse? She couldn’t control the rush of adrenalin mixed with fear as it burst through her body, destroying every inch of her like an unwanted gate crasher to a party.

  ‘I just went into your room to get the leaflet like you asked and I couldn’t see him in the bed.’

  Nancy found her feet and started to walk forward, quickening her pace until she was full pelt running back towards the hotel. She had to keep moving forward. She couldn’t think straight, everything was blurring around her, but she couldn’t stop. She needed to keep moving forward and get back.

  ‘I looked everywhere, under the bed, in the wardrobe, in your bathroom, in my bathroom … I can’t find him anywhere.’ The panic in Harriet’s voice was making it tremble and it really unnerved Nancy.

  ‘What about the balcony – he wouldn’t have gone on there would he?’ The balcony led out from Nancy’s side of the room so he would have had access to that, but they always kept it locked unless one of them was out there. Had she locked it before she left? Oh, she couldn’t remember. The fear was clouding her brain and it was all she could do to concentrate on not vomiting.

  ‘He’s not out there, I just looked. It’s still locked.’ The more she spoke, the higher her voice rose.

  ‘Have you called reception?’ Nancy panted, running through the gates of the resort and swinging left immediately to try and cut out the pool area. This way was quicker back to her room, she was sure of it. She stopped, momentarily losing her sense of direction. The panic was starting to take over her brain and it was clouding her judgement. She needed to focus.

  ‘No, I … I …’ Harriet stuttered.

  ‘CALL THEM!’ Nancy felt her temples pulse as she screamed down the phone. ‘You need to alert them Harriet – there are swimming pools and roads here, there are so many things he could hurt himself on.’ Not to mention the fact that he would be terrified. He didn’t cope well with new places and he didn’t know his way around here. He could be wandering about anywhere. The thought of Jack being scared made Nancy want to vomit and she had to continuously swallow down the bile that was fast rising in the back of her throat.

  ‘Oh my God, what if he’s been taken?’ Nancy gasped as she tried to swallow back the tears. She couldn’t cry and run at the same time and right now her priority was to get back to the hotel room so she could find her little boy.

  ‘He can’t have been taken; I’ve been here the whole time!’

  ‘Well, he hasn’t just vanished into thin air, Hari!’ Nancy stumbled as her ankle turned over on the curb side. She swore and picked up her shoe which had snapped, shoving it into her bag and whipping off the other one so she could run properly. ‘Call reception, get security looking for him. I’ll be there in like two minutes.’ She hung up the phone without even waiting for Harriet to answer, she couldn’t keep talking and running and hiccupping back the tears all at once. She needed to get back and find him – it was as simple as that. There was no plan B.

  The run back to the hotel room was the longest few minutes of her life. How was this even happening to her? She took the stairs two at time and practically fell through the doorway of their room which was open. She ran inside and found herself face to face with hotel security and a sobbing Harriet.

  ‘Have you got him?’ she barked at them, not even caring that she was being rude.

  ‘We haven’t found him yet, but we have security out looking as we speak. The police are on their way and the swimming pool areas have been checked and closed.’ The security man turned back to Harriet. ‘So what was he wearing when you last saw him?’

  ‘Um, pyjamas,’ Harriet squeaked, terror emblazoned across her face.

  N
ancy kicked into action, the reality of the situation dawning on her. ‘His pyjamas are orange and black – orange top and black bottoms. He has blond hair and blue eyes. He’s about this tall,’ Nancy put her hand up to her waist. ‘And he’s autistic.’ The seriousness of Jack being alone and vulnerable dawned on her. She let out a little sob. ‘Oh God.’

  ‘Is there any place he has particularly liked since your stay here? Anywhere where he might try to return to?’ The tall security guard was writing things down on his notepad. Both guys had friendly faces but appeared very professional in the way they executed their questions.

  Nancy frantically shook her head. ‘No, I don’t think so.’

  ‘OK, well I think we have what we need here. We will circulate these details and as soon as the police arrive, we will be sending them up.’ The guards made their way to the door to leave.

  ‘What can we do to help?’ Nancy shouted, desperate for them to give her a job. Make her feel like she was doing something. ‘I’ll look round the hotel, the streets … the beach! What about the beach.’

  ‘I can assure you we are doing everything we can, it would be best if you waited here just in case he comes back.’

  Nancy turned to Harriet as the security staff left. ‘Hari…’ she squeaked.

  Harriet stepped forward and pulled Nancy into a hug squeezing her tight and letting her sob into her shoulder. ‘I’m so sorry, Nance. I swear I was looking after him, he just disappeared. I just don’t know how it happened. I promise you I wouldn’t neglect watching him – I was just here!’ she pointed to her chair which was where she had been sitting once Nancy left an hour earlier.

  ‘Its fine – I’m not blaming you, I just … I need to find him.’ It was the truth; she didn’t blame Harriet, not completely, but right now she was struggling to not break.

  ‘Do you want me to go and look for him – we only need one of us to stay here.’

  ‘I’ll go, you stay here.’ She picked up her bag and practically threw it over her shoulder. ‘If you hear anything, anything at all. Call me.’ Harriet nodded. ‘I’ll be back in a bit.’ And she stormed out of the room, frantically throwing her head around trying to take in every inch of her surrounding as she walked along. She didn’t want to miss any nook or cranny. She had to find her little boy.

  ***

  Harriet paced the room, her hands on her head. ‘Fuck,’ she kept whispering over and over again, tears streaming down her face.

  ‘Mummy?’ Isla squeaked from her bed. ‘What’s going on?’

  ‘Oh sweetheart, I’m sorry. This must be really scary for you.’ She walked over to her bed and put her arm around her daughter, feeling the tears constantly well up as she did. She couldn’t even imagine what Nancy was feeling right now, she didn’t know what she would do if Isla or Tommy went missing.

  ‘Why were there all those men in here – they were loud, they woke me up.’

  ‘Sorry sweetheart, everything is fine. We just have some work to do, that’s all.’ She decided against telling Isla the real reason right now. The last thing she wanted to do was scare her and have her being upset as well. ‘Why don’t you watch a film – shall I put a film on for you?’

  ‘Is it morning?’

  Harriet’s heart ached at her innocence. ‘No darling it’s not morning. But we are on holiday so if you want to watch a film tonight, you can, that’s fine.’ Isla clearly couldn’t believe her luck because she jumped out of bed before Harriet could change her mind and scooped up the DVD pack they bought with them.

  ‘Frozen – no, Chipmunks – no…’ She scrolled through the pages of the pack, discarding them one by one.

  Harriet stood up from the bed and walked over to the window. It was getting dark out there – really dark. She thought about Jack being somewhere he didn’t recognise and she felt the nausea creep up again. Why hadn’t she heard or seen anything? It didn’t make sense. She caught a glimpse of a shadow outside and noticed immediately that it was Cameron. She gasped and opened the window, calling his name. ‘Cameron!’

  He wasn’t that far from their room and because they were only on the first floor, he spotted Harriet straight away. He gave a sort of salute and carried on walking.

  ‘No I’m not waving to you, you idiot,’ she said under her breath. ‘Cameron! Quick!’ It was all she could think of saying that would get his attention but not concern others around her, namely Isla. He had a look of confusion on his face and stopped in his tracks. ‘Can you come up here please? It’s urgent.’

  ‘Everything OK?’ he asked, still not moving.

  ‘No!’ she replied. ‘Room 236 – hurry up!’ She closed the window and walked back to the bed hoping that he would actually come up. They needed all the help they could get.

  A few minutes later, there was a knock on the door. Harriet had just put the DVD in the player – Alice in Wonderland – and ran to the door. Throwing it open she came face to face with him. ‘What’s going on?’ he asked.

  ‘Cameron it’s awful,’ she said, glancing over her shoulder and lowering her voice. ‘It’s Jack, he’s gone missing.’

  ‘What?’ he gasped and then took in her whispering and adopted the same tone. ‘When?’

  ‘Just now, about half hour ago.’

  ‘Where’s Nancy? Is she still at the restaurant? I’m a bit late – I’ll get her and…’ He pointed over his shoulder.

  Harriet shook her head. ‘No she’s back, she’s out looking for him. I just don’t know what to do. Can you go help – go see if you can find him?’

  ‘Of course,’ he replied, before immediately running off down the corridor.

  At least that was an extra person. Harriet walked back to the bed and sat next to Isla, placing her arms around her and letting her snuggle in for a cuddle. If anything happened to him she would never forgive herself. Not only was she a rubbish mum to her own children, now this had happened.

  Maybe her mum was right; maybe she shouldn’t have had children.

  Chapter 37

  Nancy took the corner of the entertainment block at speed, practically sliding round into the hall. All the while her heart was pounding the beat of her pulse throughout her body. The pounding resonated in her temples so hard it made her feel sick. She felt like she was losing her mind, like this was a dream and that she would wake up any minute and laugh about how crazy it was.

  She wished so bad that it was a dream. She wanted to wake up – right now.

  ‘Nancy!’

  She ignored the voice and kept running, she couldn’t stop. She needed to just keep going.

  ‘Nancy!’

  Her eyes ached, but she carried on searching as thoroughly as she could. Moving chairs, lifting curtains and bending down by tables. He could be anywhere. Masses of people surrounded her, but no one even stopped to ask her why she was frantically running around in here. She stopped a couple who were walking past her. ‘Have you seen this boy?’ she flashed her phone at them with her screensaver picture of Jack. They shook their head. She didn’t even stick around to say anymore, she took off again, stopping another person and asking. Nothing. Suddenly she felt a hand on her arm and it stilled her in shock. She flicked her head round and came face to face with Cameron who looked equally as concerned. ‘Nancy? Any luck?’

  She shook her head, trying to keep the emotion locked up. If she cried now that would be it. She had to hold it together, just for now. Just until she found him. Because she would find him, she had to.

  ‘Where have you looked?’ His face was pale and shiny where he was sweating. But Nancy just turned and tried to run off. She needed to keep going, she couldn’t stop and talk. She had to keep moving.

  Cameron reached out to still her again. ‘Nancy, wait.’

  ‘I can’t wait, Cameron! I can’t stop – I need to keep moving. He could be anywhere and if I stop, he’ll get further away and I’ll lose him forever and I can’t do that, I just can’t…’ she trailed off as her eyes filled.

  ‘Hey, shh, it’s
OK, I understand. I’m not stopping you. I want to help you.’ She shuffled on the spot desperate to keep going but aware that more help meant they would find him quicker. ‘Where have you looked? I don’t want to waste time going to the places you’ve been to.’

  She took a breath to swallow down the creeping thickness of fear that was slowly but surely clawing its way up her throat. ‘The pools, the bar, the buffet restaurant and here.’ She shook her head. ‘I can’t find him.’

  ‘It’s OK, it’ll be OK.’ He placed a hand on her shoulder and gave her a squeeze. ‘We will find him.’

  ‘I just – I don’t know where else to look.’ She scanned the room again looking for inspiration. ‘Where can he be?’ She looked back to Cameron and said what was frightening her the most. ‘Cameron, what if he’s been taken?’

  He shook his head defiantly. ‘No, we are not thinking like that. We don’t know what has happened so don’t start thinking the worst. The police are here now and the staff are looking for him – it will be OK, we will find him.’

  ‘How do you know that!’ she barked. ‘How can you be so bloody sure? Huh?’ She knew she was overreacting, but she could feel her soul falling apart and it physically hurt.

  Cameron took the hit though and didn’t even flinch when she shouted at him. ‘Come on, let’s keep looking. Have you tried the park?’

  Nancy whipped her head back to face him after following the sound of commotion outside the door – which just turned out to be some drunken teenagers. ‘Park? There’s a park?’

  ‘Yes, by the kitchens, round the other side of the complex.’

  ‘Oh my God! I didn’t know there was a park!’ Slight hope filled her chest. If he came across a park on his travels, he would stop there. ‘He likes parks – he likes the shapes! Where is it, take me there please?’ She began walking before she even knew which direction she was going in, the burst of adrenalin at a possible lead making her walk without her brain even thinking.