Mums Just Wanna Have Fun

by Lucie Wheeler

  Harriet nodded and the line went silent. Her sister hardly ever called her, so this phone call was quite painful. After a moment, Harriet got sick of waiting and abruptly said, ‘Look is there a point to this phone call?’

  ‘Oh, well, actually there is – although you needn’t be so rude.’

  ‘Sorry,’ she added, feeling instantly guilty at Bethany’s tone.

  ‘I just wanted to tell you something. But, well, it’s … it’s not that easy for me.’

  Harriet frowned and picked up her drink, sipping the sweet liquid and letting it slowly slide down her throat and relax her sudden anxiety. ‘What’s up?’

  ‘You know you and Mum had a row over you deciding to get a nanny?’

  ‘Yes – and before you give me the third degree about it as well, I can assure you Mum has covered all angles. I’m a terrible mother, I’m selfish, and I’m palming my children off … I’ve heard it all. So I’ll save you the trouble of repeating any of it.’ As she spoke she could feel the anxiety building again. As much as she was trying to let it wash over her like Jayne had said, it was still a tough pill to swallow when your own flesh and blood said these things to you.

  ‘I wasn’t going to repeat any of it. I was going to, um…’

  Harriet waited but Bethany just went quiet. ‘Beth?’ she prompted.

  She heard her sister exhale on the end of the phone. ‘I have a nanny!’

  Harriet tilted her head as the words washed over her, confused at what she had just head. ‘What?’

  ‘I have a nanny – she helps me, you know, with stuff.’

  Harriet gasped and sat up on the lounger, disbelief rapidly washing over her. ‘Are you actually having me on?’

  ‘No, I swear.’ Her voice was small.

  She spun round so her legs were off the side of her chair, leaning her arms on her knees as she digested this new information. ‘But … well … what does Mum say?’ It was her first thought.

  ‘She doesn’t know.’

  Harriet couldn’t help but burst out laughing. It was a cross between a nervous laugh and a shocked laugh. This was probably the best news she had heard for ages. She couldn’t believe it. ‘How in God’s name have you kept it from her? I mean, just … tell me everything.’ She had the biggest smile across her face. This was incredible. She couldn’t verbalise how this was making her feel right now.

  Bethany laughed and Harriet instantly felt a spark of comradery between them, a sisterly bond that, up until now, their relationship had been lacking. She listened as her sister opened up for the first time in years.

  ‘I was struggling. Massively. Luke works long hours, I was working from home all throughout the school hours and then again when the kids were in bed and things were starting to get too much. I couldn’t talk to Mum because – well, you know what she’s like.’

  Harriet nodded and rolled her eyes. ‘Yep.’

  ‘So I looked into getting some outside help. I met this lady and she’s just wonderful. She comes to mine first thing and sorts the children. She then takes the older two to school whilst Rueben stays at home with me. Then she comes back and takes him from me whilst I work in the study. I work all day and she cooks, cleans and does the washing. She stays until 6 p.m. when I stop working and then we all have dinner and get to put the kids to bed. She’s incredible.’

  ‘But, how does Mum not know?’

  ‘She thinks I’m at home with Rueben. She thinks I get all my work done around looking after him – although I’m not quite sure how she believes I can be so productive with an eighteen-month-old on my hip but the woman is delirious so I guess she doesn’t realise. And if she comes over without telling me, I just tell the nanny to wait upstairs until she’s gone – she normally does the ironing then.’ Bethany laughed.

  ‘And she’s OK with that?’

  ‘She understands my situation, she knows I can’t tell Mum. Ironing is part of her contract so I’m not asking her to do anything that she hasn’t already agreed to do – it’s just sometimes she has to do it incognito upstairs.’

  The words were filtering into Harriet’s brain all at once. This revelation was huge, and she couldn’t quite believe that it was her sister saying these things to her. ‘Why don’t you just tell Mum? I thought you two were super close?’

  ‘Why don’t I tell Mum? Do you not remember how she reacted to you?’

  ‘Yeah but, she might have been fine with you.’

  ‘Yeah OK, Hari, I’m sure you believe that as much as I do. We both know that the way she reacted with you would be exactly how she would react to anyone. I commend you for being brave and actually saying it to her – I’ve been a total wuss and chickened out.’

  ‘You should tell her!’ Harriet shouted but already Bethany was disagreeing.

  ‘Not a chance in hell.’

  ‘No seriously, you should. We could do it together. If she knew we were both doing it, she might not mind? We need to stick together at this. ‘

  ‘Hari, like I said, I admire your courage in telling Mum, it’s a big move. But there is no way on this earth that I am putting myself into that lion’s den ready to be crucified. I’m not as tough as you.’

  Harriet felt a strange emotion come over her when her sister said that. The two of them hadn’t been particularly close in the past so hearing Bethany being complimentary did not sit naturally with her. ‘I always thought you thought I was a hard-faced cow – actually, you have called me that on occasion.’

  ‘I know. And don’t get me wrong, sometimes you are a hard-faced cow – but I do admire you. I wish I could be stronger sometimes and I wish I had your drive and determination. You just get things done, no matter what stands in your way. You don’t ever stress or fall apart, you just totally ace everything you do – I guess I was a little bit jealous.’

  ‘Beth, I don’t ace everything.’ Was she really that good at pretending? She got stressed, she failed and she got things wrong. She always tried hard to cover up any mistakes or rectify them, but they still happened.

  ‘You do. I don’t think there is anything you’ve done that you haven’t been good at.’

  Harriet hesitated for a moment and then looked around her. Isla had got fed up of waiting so had returned to the pool to play with her friends and the sun loungers immediately next to her had been vacated. So she took a very risky move and said, ‘I don’t get everything right you know … can I ask you something?’

  ‘Course.’

  The two of them had spent years not really communicating or talking and now, through this mutual acknowledgement of needing help, Harriet felt a small element of sisterly bonding happening. A bond over parenting, over the need to ask for help. She decided to take the plunge. ‘How did you cope when you had Billy, and Janey came along? Did you find it easy to make that transition between going from one child to two children?’

  She didn’t know if it was because the two of them couldn’t see each other, or because she was learning new things about her sister who she clearly didn’t know anything about … or maybe the cocktails, but she felt able to open up a little and ask these questions. Had this been a month ago, even a week ago, Harriet wouldn’t have dared ask anything like this.

  ‘Honestly? I struggled.’

  The relief that poured over Harriet was immense, she felt as though she could cry with happiness. ‘Really?’

  ‘Yeah. You spend years getting used to your first child, they start eating and sleeping relatively normally, you start to manage things better and get jobs done and then you have another one and it starts all over again. Your routines are messed up, your older child is jealous of the new one and where you once had a child that ate and slept fine, this new one doesn’t want to do anything. I couldn’t believe how opposite my two were. Billy slept through from about twelve weeks; Janey still doesn’t sleep through now, at five. Billy would eat anything and everything, Janey was a little fusspot. Billy had no health problems at all and never really got ill, Janey was always down the doc
tor’s for something or other. The two of them couldn’t have been more different and I really struggled with that.’

  ‘I can’t believe I never knew this.’

  ‘Well, we never really talked about mum stuff, did we?’

  ‘Yeah because Mum was always there with her opinions and judgements. And I always thought you shared her opinions, you would always seem so on top of things whenever we came over.’ She became louder the more excited she got and had to check her volume.

  ‘What can I say, I haven’t got a diploma in performing arts for nothing.’

  Harriet laughed. ‘So why call me now? Why tell me about all this?’

  ‘Because I felt bad. Mum called me and was ranting about how you were getting a nanny and how she told you what she thought of it and I felt sorry for you. You actually had the guts to stand up to her and say something and here I was harbouring this little secret. I guess I just wanted to let you know that I am here if you ever need to talk, even if it’s just a sounding board to rant at. I love Mum to bits but I do know how hard it can be with her sometimes and I am lucky because she doesn’t rip into me like she does you. So just let her have her moment, but know that I totally understand why you’re doing this and I support you.’

  This was one of the most surreal moments of Harriet’s life. She felt like this was the first time she was really seeing her sister in a different light. She smiled, feeling a weird warm sensation inside.

  ‘But Hari?’

  ‘Yes?’

  ‘Don’t you dare tell Mum, OK?’

  Harriet laughed. ‘OK, deal.’

  ‘I’ll give you a call next week and maybe we can chat all stuff nanny.’

  Harriet smiled. ‘I’d like that.’ She hung up the phone and couldn’t stop the smile that spread across her face. So this was what it felt like to have a sister. As long as she had gone without having her by her side, it felt nice to experience this new relationship. She caught Jayne waving to her to get her attention from across the pool. Jayne held her thumb up and then down. Harriet laughed and gave a thumbs up to which Jayne smiled in return. Maybe it was going to work out after all.

  But there was one thing she knew for certain, she would do everything in her power to make sure that she was not like her mum. Her children were going to be able to talk to her about anything and she was going to be there for them. She had a plan, and now she had the support. She could do this.

  Chapter 42

  ‘Mummy!’

  Nancy bolted from her seat, tripping over the step into the room as she ran to Jack in his bed. He was sitting upright, wide-eyed and clutching his sheet. She sat down on the bed next to him and instantly drew him into her arms, at which he recoiled and looked at her. It was difficult to judge Jack because on occasion he would be fine with the comforting touch, and other times he wouldn’t. There didn’t seem to be a pattern with it – not one that Nancy had noticed anyway. So she always tried. And it always hurt when he pulled away from her. ‘What’s up?’ she asked.

  ‘I didn’t know where you were,’ he replied, his chin quivering.

  ‘Baby, I was only on the balcony. I wasn’t far, just over there.’ She pointed to the balcony to reiterate just how close she was. ‘See?’

  ‘That’s Cameron,’ he said, pointing to Cameron who was standing in the doorway of the balcony looking a little sheepish.

  ‘Hey buddy,’ he said, giving Jack a half salute, half wave.

  ‘Where’s Aiden?’

  It was the first time Jack had used his name. Normally he would call him that little boy. Nancy looked at Cameron to see if he noticed this little development. He raised his eyebrows which suggested he did.

  ‘He’s at the kids’ club,’ Nancy answered. ‘You remember it there?’ She wondered whether it was the right thing to do to mention this to him as she wasn’t sure of his emotional stability today, but he seemed OK now that he knew where she was.

  ‘Yeah, I didn’t like that lady.’

  Nancy laughed as she recalled the headphones incident – it felt like a million years ago that that had happened, not seven days. ‘That’s right bubs, you didn’t like her. But there are other ladies and men there to play with, so Aiden will be OK, I’m sure he is having lots of fun.’ She paused and then added, ‘Would you like to go and see the kids’ club again?’

  Jack instantly shook his head and Nancy laughed, looking over to Cameron. ‘It was worth a try.’

  He nodded, a smile spread across his face.

  ‘I would like to see that boy again. I want to show him my iPad.’

  He had reverted back to calling him that boy. ‘Well, I am sure we can arrange that. What do you say, Cameron?’

  Cameron walked into the room but stopped short of the bed so he wasn’t getting too close. ‘I think that’s a great idea. And actually, do you know what?’

  ‘What?’ Jack replied.

  ‘There is a competition this evening after dinner in the disco hall – I think it’s a baking competition or something. Aiden said that he wanted to do it, maybe you would like to take a look.’ He looked to Nancy to see if it was OK with her too. Jack didn’t look too keen, but he didn’t say no so it was a start.

  ‘Maybe we will go down and take a look, Jack? And you can decide when you get there if it’s something you like the look of. How’s that sound?’ She was starting to get to grips with how Jack worked in certain situations. How sometimes he needed the chance to see things first before deciding. Or how sometimes he liked to watch things from afar and join in when he was ready, not when it was convenient for everyone else. It was slowly all beginning to make sense now, but that transition between not knowing and learning had been a steep one. He nodded and then picked up his iPad, shuffling down into the bed and resuming his programme from earlier on.

  Nancy gave him a kiss on the forehead and stood up, walking over to Cameron who had now walked towards the front door. ‘Are you off?’ She found herself not wanting him to go.

  ‘Yeah I’d better go. Plus, I think I’m going to go and get Aiden early from kids’ club, maybe take him to the boats again. We go home tomorrow so I best make the most of it, hey? Not that he will want to see me. He’ll probably be all like “daaaaad I wanna staaaay!”’ He laughed but Nancy noticed some sadness in his eyes.

  ‘It’s their loss, you know.’ He looked at her. ‘Your friends. And your ex.’ He pursed his lips into a smile and dropped his gaze to the ground. ‘Aiden is lucky to have you, it’s an amazing thing what you’ve done. Just remember, you’ve got people around you who do support you.’

  ‘Thanks Nancy.’ He stepped forward and brushed his lips on her cheek and as he did she closed her eyes and took in the sweet smell of his aftershave. Every inch of her body tingled, wanting more. But she felt herself already pulling back. She couldn’t get too close. His situation was complicated enough as well as her own – they didn’t need to make it more confusing. ‘I’ll see you tonight in the hall then?’

  ‘Yep, see you there.’

  She closed the door and smiled to herself. After such a shitty day yesterday, maybe things were starting to look up.

  ‘Mum, I need a poo!’

  And now she was back on mummy duties.

  ***

  Harriet walked back to the pool area having picked up Tommy from the kids’ club. ‘Only for half an hour though Isla, because we need to go back and see how Nancy and Jack are.’

  ‘Ohhhhh!’ Isla did her best pouting performance and threw her arms up.

  ‘Isla, we’ve been down at the pool pretty much all day sweetheart, poor Jack has been inside.’

  ‘Tell them to come out,’ she whined.

  ‘I don’t think they want to.’

  ‘But I want to stay here!’ She stomped along the pathway, making her feelings very clear about having to end their pool time today.

  ‘That’s enough, Isla, stop being stroppy otherwise you won’t get this extra half hour and we can go back up to the room now.’ She was really te
sting her new parenting style. Stay calm, keep smiling, she repeated to herself.

  ‘Humph’ was the sort of noise she made and Harriet clenched her teeth. She really wanted to check her emails as she’d stayed off them all afternoon and was now starting to feel a little anxious. She also needed to sit down and advertise for a nanny – although advertising was where her expertise lay so it wouldn’t be a difficult task. Finding one on the other hand would be. Bethany had texted her after their phone call with a number of the agency her nanny came from so she could take a look. She was still getting used to this newfound friendship from her sister – it felt out of her comfort zone but she knew that in time, she would welcome the support.

  They pitched up over to one side by the pool and Harriet managed to grab one of the last sun loungers. ‘OK, go,’ she said to Isla who was jumping up and down impatiently trying to get into the water. Harriet then looked at Tommy. ‘Suppose there’s no use trying to put you in the water, hey little man?’ He smiled at her and then lifted his hand and slapped her on the nose.

  ‘About right,’ she said, placing him on the floor and letting him play with the toys from her bag.

  ‘Hey,’ Nancy’s voice sounded behind her and she whipped round, surprised to hear it.

  ‘Hey! I wasn’t expecting to see you guys down here.’ She looked at Jack. ‘Alright Jack?’ He half smiled and then sat down on the floor on the other side of Harriet’s lounger, pulling out his sketch pad.

  ‘Here, perch on this one, I don’t think there are any loungers left. It’s well busy down here. We were going to do another half an hour and then come up and see you guys.’

  Nancy sat down on the floor. ‘Its fine, we needed to get out of the room for a bit anyway – get some fresh air.’

  ‘What are you doing, sit up here you idiot.’ Harriet shifted her legs but Nancy held up her hand.

  ‘Honestly it’s fine. I’m OK down here.’

  ‘Did Cameron come and see you?’ Harriet pulled a face. She wasn’t sure if Nancy would have appreciated the little tip off she gave him about the ice cream, but she figured seeing as they were leaving tomorrow, she may as well take the plunge.