Lawson: Cerberus 2.0 Book 1

by Marie James

  I turn right, heading to my room and into my en-suite rather than left to join the rest of the family in the kitchen. My cheeks are burning and much to my dismay, my mouth is watering.

  “Vulgar, disgusting asshole,” I hiss as I splash water on my face. Next up is the wad of tissue paper that swipes the color from my lips. “This is never going to work.

  I contemplate telling Dad that he’s going to have to find something else for Lawson to do, but I know that means explaining why I have an issue driving him to the animal shelter. Even though he acts like a total jerk every time we speak, I don’t want him to get into trouble. The last thing I want is to put my dad in a position where he feels like he has to choose between the two of us.

  “I’m doing it for Drew,” I remind myself in the bathroom mirror.

  I don’t know the specifics, but I’ve overheard enough to know that Lawson is on probation for something that happened a while back in Texas. He has community service hours, and if he doesn’t complete them, he’ll be in more trouble. If he is arrested, Drew will suffer, and I’m not petty enough to do something to compromise that. Drew’s nice to me, respectful and actually a pleasure to be around.

  “For Drew,” I say with more conviction before turning around and making my way to the front door.

  “Been waiting for you, Princess,” Lawson says as I descend the stairs. He glances at the screen of the phone to check the time.

  “Have fun you guys,” Pop calls from the kitchen. “See you at dinner time.”

  We walk outside, heading around the clubhouse to my car.

  “Did you have to change your panties?” Lawson whispers, leaning in so close I can feel the warmth of his breath on my bare shoulder.

  “Stop,” I warn.

  “Personally,” he says with an audible smile in his voice. “I’ve never gotten off so fast.”

  I glare at him. “You can’t be serious?”

  I climb inside of my gently used Corolla and hit the unlock button for him. Cranking it, I blast the AC immediately. Even at nine in the morning, New Mexico is hot as hell.

  “I can’t wait to get to New England,” I mutter and crack the windows to allow some of the heat to pour out.

  “What’s that, Princess?”

  “One,” I turn to glare at him. “Stop calling me Princess. Two, quit making sexual advances toward me.”

  “You like it,” he counters as I put the car in gear.

  “I don’t.”

  “I bet if I slide my hand in your panties, you’ll be wet for me.”

  I snap my head in his direction, pissed, less about his words and more so because he’d be right. “Try it, and I’ll break your fucking hand.”

  In mock surrender, he holds his hands up by his ears. “Damn, Delilah. Chill the fuck out.”

  “Please, just stop.”

  “I’m just joking with you, giving you a hard time.”

  I crinkle my nose oddly annoyed that maybe he doesn’t find me attractive enough to want to do dirty things with. It makes no sense, but I have no control over the emotions.

  The trip to the animal shelter remains silent until I speak as we pull in and park in the employee lot. “You’ll be meeting with Dana. She’s the day supervisor. I know Dad spoke with her, but I’m certain he didn’t give her details of why you’re here.”

  He nods, the only clue I have that he’s even heard what I said. With anxious energy, his fingers drum on his jean-clad legs. For reasons I don’t even understand, I reach over and calm his left hand by placing mine over it, the contact no less heated than it was last night in the hallway.

  “Don’t be nervous,” I say when his eyes meet mine. I pull my hand away when his lip twitches.

  “I’m not,” he assures me. “Just ready to pet some dogs.”

  I laugh and climb out of the car. When he meets me at the front, I just smile over at him.

  “What?” he asks, voice tinted with the agitation I’ve come to associate with him.

  “There won’t be much petting for you today.”

  “The hell does that mean?”

  “You’ll see,” I tell him, the bounce in my step growing with the knowledge that he’s about to have an eye-opening experience.

  ***

  The grumbling meets my ears before I round the corner to the kennels. We’ve been here for four hours already, and I haven’t seen Lawson since I dropped him off with Dana in reception. I went about my day walking the dogs and sitting on the floor while the cats surrounded me to get their ears scratched.

  “How does something so little and cute make so much shit?”

  I can’t help the grin that spreads across my face. Lawson thought he’d be doing what I come here to do every day, but the community service hours given by the shelter are a little more interactive than the ones of the volunteers. Dana’s take on the situation is that if probationers have to get down and dirty with the less shiny part of the job, then maybe they won’t re-offend. I’ve done my fair share of kennel cleaning when there wasn’t someone else here to do it, so I don’t feel sorry for him at all.

  Rounding the corner, I find Lawson crouched low to the ground, coveralls doing nothing to make him any less appealing. He’s scratching at the head of a mid-sized dog of questionable breeding. The dog revels in the attention it’s getting, flopping to his back for a tummy rub when he’s had enough attention paid to his head.

  “You didn’t deserve to be left to fend for yourself, did you, Buddy?” The dog yips in excitement. “I know exactly how you feel. Life sucks sometimes.”

  My heart begins to thunder in my chest. The pain and understanding in Lawson’s voice are enough to make me take a faltering step back.

  “He’s had a rough life. Treat him with kindness,” Dad’s voice rings in my ears.

  He stands abruptly, the classic Lawson sneer marring his gorgeous face. He can’t even be real with himself. The thought saddens me.

  “You gonna help me tomorrow?” The dog yips and turns in a quick circle. “You can’t spray a hose so maybe just shit a little less?”

  He grins when the dog yips again and tries to bite at the spray coming from the end of the hose as he begins to clean the kennel.

  I back away, giving him the time he needs, but knowing just how much it sucks to be stuck in your own head. He needs a friend, someone he can speak to without judgment, but his mouth ruins everything. His defenses are up so high he’ll destroy any form of friendship I try to offer.

  Chapter 15

  Lawson

  “Another day, another pile of shit to clean.”

  At the stoplight we have managed to get caught at the last three days we’ve been going to the shelter together, she looks over at me. I grin at her, and she returns it. I haven’t said anything off-color since that first drive in. It makes her uncomfortable, and for some fucked up reason, I find myself giving her what she wants. As much as I love the color of her tongue and the way she licks her lips when I talk dirty, I hate the distance it puts between us. She avoids me, either in repulsion or because she’s tempted, so I’ve refrained the last two days.

  We’ve chatted about our futures. She has everything planned out as much as possible. Rhode Island for college, where she’ll major in Sociology. She explained her need to understand how her mother was drawn into a cult, giving up her entire life for an eccentric megalomaniac. I can relate, even though I’d never admit it to her. My mom may have never been in a cult, but drugs and the party life were just as detrimental to her family and her health.

  Personally, I have no long-term goals. Getting off of probation and finding a job is my only immediate concern. I can work off the money that Jaxon fronted me, but that doesn’t mean I have a paid job once it’s repaid.

  “Those dogs love you,” she tells me as she hits the gas when the light turns green.

  “I don’t know how you manage not to bring them all home.” I grin at her again. “Buddy is seriously hard to leave every day.”

  Buddy,
the name I gave the dog I connected with on the first day, greets me with a smile every morning.

  “I tried,” she confesses. “Pop put the brakes on it the first day he came to pick me up.”

  I laugh, imagining her standing there pouting when he rejected the idea. “You mean those pretty blue eyes of yours didn’t work that time?”

  Her fingers grip the steering wheel tighter. “I don’t get everything I want.”

  “You will.” My voice sobers when she turns to look at me. “The entire world will open up for you. I’m certain of it.”

  “The world?” She huffs. “I’m terrified to leave the little bubble my dads have created. Moving clear across the country to go to school? I must be crazy.”

  “What are you running from then?” Why I’m so interested in the trajectory of her life, I have no idea. Maybe it keeps me from thinking about my own, a simple distraction to my own limited options.

  “I’m not running,” she assures me with a frown. “Gigi? She’ll end up being the runner. I doubt she’ll make it through senior year before she hits the road. The grass is always greener and all that.”

  “She’s the wild twin?” Her eyes follow me wherever I go. If Delilah thinks I’m suggestive, she should hear the shit that comes out of that chick’s mouth.

  She nods. “Like you haven’t noticed her.”

  “Oh, I’ve noticed her.” I scrub my hand over the stubble growing on my jawline. “She’s kind of hard to miss.”

  Delilah’s lips form a flat line as she studiously looks ahead, suddenly distracted by the traffic around us.

  “Everyone wants her. The boys fall at her feet. The world,” she says with disdainful agitation, “is at her feet, not mine.”

  “Not everyone,” I whisper barely loud enough for her to hear.

  ***

  One thing I didn’t inherit from my mother is my work ethic. Day three cleaning kennels and I’ve managed to cut my time from the first day by almost half. Granted, I spent most of the first day bitching and bemoaning my position on the animal shelter ladder.

  “Jesus, your breath stinks,” I tell Buddy as he puts his wet paws on the coveralls covering my legs and tries to lick my face. “What do they feed you?”

  He yips in my face and I recoil at the disgusting smell.

  “I’m going to bring you some gum or something, dude. You have a serious problem.”

  “We have dental sticks in the back closet.”

  I look up, hands still rubbing at Buddy’s ears to see Dana smiling on the other side of the kennel.

  “Perfect,” I say looking back down at my furry companion.

  “You should get him a treat and then take him for a walk.”

  “Really? I have three more kennels to clean, and that Doberman takes bigger shits than a horse.”

  She shakes her head, but her smile never falters. My first day here, Delilah noticed how nervous I was. I’m sure she thought it was because it was a new place, but it had more to do with getting treated like shit at the place in Texas I was supposed to work my hours at. Being in trouble for breaking into a house to steal so you and your brother could eat for the month was a low point in my life, but being made to feel like the scum of the earth for being hungry only pissed me off. That attempt at community service lasted fifteen minutes and ended with the supervisor clutching his bloody nose.

  “Okay. Clean the last couple of stalls then head out and help Delilah. She’s taken it upon herself to walk five dogs at the same time, and I know they’re only going to end up dragging her through the pasture.”

  I clean the stalls in record time, grab Buddy a treat for his god-awful breath, and head out to find the girl I can’t get out of my head no matter how hard I try.

  “You’re going to break my leg,” she screeches.

  My smile turns into wide eyes as I sprint toward her. On the ground, with several leashes wrapped around her legs, she bats one dog away. The opportunistic motherfucker has jumped on her back. I manage to push him away before he starts hip thrusting at her.

  The laugh spills out and is met with glaring blue eyes. “Really? You find this fucking funny?”

  I shake my head no, but the laugh still rolls through me. “Upsetting more than anything. You were just batting him away. If I tried to mount you, you’d probably break my dick off.”

  I grin down at her as she bites her lip trying to hide a smile. “A little help, please?”

  “Yeah. Shit, sorry.”

  I detangle the leashes from around her ankles, my heart thudding when I realize I dropped Buddy’s leash and he’s probably halfway to Colorado by now. I look over my shoulder, relieved to find him bouncing playfully near a terrier. Bored, the smaller dog lies in the grass with his head on his paws, waiting for us to get back to his walk. Being ignored doesn’t stop Buddy from entertaining the idea.

  She takes my outstretched hand and lets me pull her back to her feet.

  “Thanks,” she mutters. “They normally aren’t such jerks. That new one has them all riled up.”

  I look over at the solid white dog. “She’s probably in heat. Would explain Blackie over there trying to take a ride on your back.”

  “Gross,” she laughs and smacks my chest with the back of her hand. “Help me?”

  Regretfully, I pull my eyes from her face and look down at the tangle of leashes in her hands. We spend the next ten minutes getting them back in order.

  When she looks up smiling as the last one is pulled free, I notice the smear of dirt. God, I hope it’s dirt smeared on her cheek.

  I take a step closer, my hand instinctively reaching for her face.

  “Dirt,” I whisper as my thumb brushes the softness of her face.

  Her eyes find mine, innocent and filled with a need I’m certain she doesn’t understand.

  “You’re gorgeous,” I pant. “Your mouth—”

  Her face shifts, leaning into my hand.

  Buddy barks just as I’m leaning in, refusing to let this moment pass us by. She jumps, startled by the intrusion into our moment. With lips parted, I read her face. Trust, desire, and compassion fill her soft blue eyes. An unfamiliar rush washes over me, heating my skin and making me uncomfortable. In true form, I ruin the moment the only way I know how.

  “Your mouth would feel amazing wrapped around my cock.”

  She blinks, unsure if she heard me right. I can see the anger flash across her face before she just turns and walks off. I’m left, standing in a field holding leashes to six rambunctious as fuck dogs, watching her walk away because intimacy, even on the simplest level, isn’t something I can tolerate.

  When the walk is over, my arms are killing me. Fighting half a dozen dogs is better than any day I’ve spent at the gym.

  “After you get them kenneled can you come out and help me?” Dana says as I pass by the rolled up door outside of the large animal shelter. It’s empty now, but I’ve heard that they sometimes have farm animals and horses that have been recovered by animal control. “I need your muscles.”

  “Sure,” I say with a smile and a wink.

  “One big flirt just like your daddy,” she mutters with a quick laugh.

  For some reason, the comparison doesn’t even bother me this time. I want to go find Delilah, but I figure keeping my distance is best. I don’t have a damn thing to offer her. I ruin everything I touch, and the last thing she needs is some horny fucker like me taking everything she has with nothing to offer in return.

  “What’s up?” I ask Dana as I make it back to reception after caging the now tired dogs.

  “This is Rachel Grant,” Dana says pointing to the wet dream of a teen standing near the desk. “She brought a truckload of dog food. Can you unload it for her?”

  I smile at her, and she doesn’t even notice that it doesn’t reach my eyes. Who in the world delivers dog food in a bikini top and shorts so short the bottom curve of her ass hangs out?

  Man-eaters that’s who. No thanks.

  I follow her ou
t, ignoring the blatant shake of her ass.

  “Truckload?” I ask opening the tailgate of a newer Chevy pickup. “It’s four bags.”

  “Big bags,” she counters.

  “Your muscles,” she says as her fire engine red fingernail drags down my arm from shoulder to wrist, “are so big, you shouldn’t have any problem.”

  My eyes narrow, but her smile only grows bigger. “Maybe next time spend less on your truck and buy more dog food. We can use more donations.”

  “Oh,” she says with a flip of her hair as I reach for the first bag. “My family can afford loads more dog food. If I bring more will you unload it?”

  “Of course,” I answer and toss the dog food to the ground and reach in for another. The sooner I get them off her truck the sooner she can get the fuck out of here.

  “I may bring so much you’d have to take your shirt off to keep cool.”

  I smile and grab the last bag, refusing to explain that the blazing ass sun would do more damage than sweating with a shirt on.

  “You about ready to go home?” A genuine smile crosses my lips at the sound of Delilah’s voice. Fuck, at least she’s talking to me even though the derision can’t be ignored in her voice.

  “Yep,” I say over my shoulder. “Anything else you need Ms. Grant.”

  The blonde in front of me smiles while the blonde at my back huffs. Jealousy. I love it. It means I still may have a chance even though Delilah Donovan is probably the only thing that can complicate my life even more than it already is.

  “Nothing today.” She rolls her bottom lip through her teeth. The sight is more off-putting than the sexiness she’s clearly trying to exude. “What else do you need, Lawson?”

  “Really?” Delilah mutters loud enough for me to hear.

  “Leashes and dental sticks.” Rachel recoils. “Seriously, those dogs have some of the nastiest fucking breath.”

  I turn my back to her to scoop two of the four bags of food.

  “See you at the party on Saturday!” Rachel says either to my turned back or Delilah. “I’ll bring my overnight bag.”

  “Can’t fucking wait,” Delilah mutters as I walk past her to the storage room.