Personal Experiences

by Tracy Lee

  "Ok, its over" I said, attempting to squash the whole situation. Finally, having had enough, I walked over to the truck. I jumped inside and went directly to the radio to find a new radio station. Pushing the seek button, song after song flashed by.

  Hearing Ann Wilson of Heart belting out "How do I get you alone" I stopped. I loved that song! TJ's hand wrapped gently around mine as he began tugging me out from the cab. I pulled away flirtatiously looking at him, I knew he could see the lust in my eyes.

  "Now, now darlin', I just wanna dance." I molded my body into him. Wrapped tight in his arms, a warm sensation arose throughout my body. Yet dread began to settle in. Question after question popped in my head. What was going to happen when we're apart at school? How would we survive? Not wanting to appear distraught I pulled him closer to me.

  "Ya ok?"

  "Fine, just feels good, here with you, I'm going to miss this."

  We stopped dancing and stood there a minute connected by our eyes, as though they were carrying on a conversation themselves. I could see what his mind was telling me, but I also read what his body was saying. The desire that was burning in him told me I was in for it. He wanted me… and he wanted it slow, taking his time to encounter every inch of me; to relish every second that he was touching, tasting, watching and hearing me as though he's never touched me before, even though he had possessed every part already. He seemed like he was a man dying of thirst and I was his water and he wanted me now. Feeling him pull away gently, I knew it was time and I was up to date with what was on the agenda. Slowly, we walked hand in hand to our tent.

  Walking inside, TJ immediately turned and zipped up the doorway. Hearing the music still blaring in the background, nothing else mattered; not Bear and Rachel, not leaving for school; nothing just me and him; our hearts secured to each other.

  "TJ."

  "Shhhhh."

  As he was slowly walking towards me he stopped a minute by his bag and reached down in it and grabbed something.

  "Whatcha got?"

  Looking at his hand and walking closer to me he began speaking; "You know that my day begins and ends picturing your beautiful face?"

  "Baby" I whispered.

  Reaching me, he laid his palm up against the back of my neck and ran his thumb over my eyebrow and down my cheek. I slowly closed my eyes, memorizing the feel of his touch.

  "Open your eyes, babe." he whispered softly as he leaned down and touched his nose to mine and looked into my eyes. "It'll never be enough."

  "What won't ever be enough?" I murmured just as soft.

  "Touching every part of you, for the rest of my life."

  As he was talking he grasped my left hand, with his other hand opened, I saw the little black box.

  I began to panic.

  "TJ!"

  Shaking his head he could see the panic on my face.

  "It's not what you think."

  Exhaling the breath that I was holding, I calmed down a bit. He opened the box and I pulled back the breath that I just exhaled.

  "TJ…it…it's beautiful."

  "You like it?"

  Tearing up, I couldn't talk; I just nodded my head. Inside the box was a 14 karat white gold ring. The band was so thin and delicate, it attached to an elegant sideways small anchor and right in the middle of the bar that came across the top of the anchor was a small diamond.

  He slipped the ring on my finger and stared into my eyes as he promised "Baby, I will be anchored to you forever and always." Hearing him say those words to me rendered me speechless. Tears were spilling down my cheeks and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get them to stop. Not being able to take anymore, I got up on my tip toes and brought my mouth to his, barely touching lips I breathed; "I will remind you of that when I'm ninety-eight" I laughed apprehensively. "I love you, TJ and I will spend the rest of my life proving to you how much I do."

  Before he had a chance to reply, I put my mouth to his. Leisurely I caressed his lower lip with my tongue. Feeling his tongue slip out trying to touch mine I pulled back. Doing it again, I opened my eyes to see him, his brows were pulled tight and his eyes were beaming at me. I smiled under his lips and opened to allow him access. He didn't miss his chance and entered my mouth on a soft moan like he had returned home after a long trip.

  Beginning to explore my mouth, he took over the kiss. He tilted his head to the side to meld closer to me and I allowed him. As warmth started to build in my belly, I let out a small whimper. This was his permission to continue, his hands began traveling from my neck to my shoulder and down to my back. I sensed my bikini strings being pulled until they were hanging down on my sides. Reaching around my front he caressed my breasts with his large hands.

  "Oh God, Elle."

  "Don't stop."

  Pulling away from my mouth, his kisses became faster down my neck, then my chest until he reached my breast, continually working my right one with his hand he gently covered my left one with his lips, sucking and licking and pulling firmly. I bowed into him for more. Feeling the wetness that began to build between my legs, we found a rhythm that we both couldn't say no to. As he made his way to my other breast he lifted his head and watched as he pinched my nipple between his fingers.

  "God, look at you, your breasts are so beautiful, and your nipples get as hard as I do when I touch them."

  "Oh God TJ, don't talk like that, you're gonna have me coming before you even get in me."

  "Really, well let's not waste any more time."

  As he continued playing with my breasts, one of his hands slowly and gently continued lower past my belly button down to my bikini bottoms. Reaching inside he slowly ran his finger up and down feeling the wetness that continued to build all for him.

  "Oh God Elle, I need to be in you so bad."

  "Don't stop then."

  He gave my breasts one more tender kiss each then began working his way down laying kisses as he went. When he was right above my belly button I felt him laying us back on the sleeping bags.

  "What are you doing?"

  "I wanna do this, Elle."

  "Seriously… you really too?"

  "Elle, you've never let me do it, please I want to taste you so bad."

  I really didn't have a problem with him going down on me, other than I heard that Becky Stanfield had let Hopper Lewis go down on her at Stacey Roger's sixteenth birthday party while supposedly, watching a Friday the 13th marathon, instead they were in her sister Katrina's room. Monday morning rumors started flying that she was a "Mary Rotten Crouch" and that kind of made me not want him to do it.

  "Ok, I guess, but just remember I was in that dirty lake."

  "Elle… just lay back and enjoy it."

  As I laid back on the sleeping bags, I felt his warm breath on my thighs, causing goose bumps on my skin as my breathing accelerated. The anticipation was overwhelming. I knew what was going to happen but I didn't know what to expect. Self-conscious, all kinds of things were running through my head. The first being I was so glad I made that waxing appointment right before this trip. The second…that's when it happened. The first touch of his tongue, it was like nothing I had ever felt before in my life. It was heaven. No, it was a chocolate covered heaven.

  "Oh…my…God, Elle!"

  Jumping up nervously, seventy different things were running through my head, because you just didn't want to hear that kind of "Oh my God" when a man was between your legs.

  "Oh my God what," I retorted apprehensively, as I looked up at him with nine shades of embarrassment all over my face.

  "You are the best thing I have ever tasted. It's like the juiciest peach I have ever eaten. Oh my God! I am so addicted to eating your pussy now."

  Trying quickly to get back in the mood, I rolled my eyes and attempted to calm myself so my heart would beat at a normal pace. I thought if I said something it would help, so I said a monotone, "Yeah, me too…don't stop."

  He continued to lick, suck, tickle and tease until I began to relax. The sounds that
came from him were intensely erotic. It made me even wetter, until I felt the wave of ecstasy building and it was a big one.

  "Oh yeah, don't stop TJ, I'm almost there! Oh my god baby, this is so amazing!" I said as I began to roll my hips against his mouth.

  "Oh yeah, Elle, that's it, work yourself against my mouth! God, you're so beautiful moving like that. Fuck, I'm gonna come so hard."

  "Yeah baby, here is comes… don't stop…TJ, TJ… ahhhhhhhhh!!"

  Before I even had time to come down from the orgasmic wave I was thoroughly enjoying, TJ was opening my legs and rubbing his thick, rock hard length against my core.

  "Oh God, baby, you're soakin wet."

  "Well yeah, what did you expect? That was amaz-"

  Slowly, I could feel him pushing himself into me. Sliding my hair out of my face, he whispered loving endearments as I was wrapped around him in the most intimate way possible. When he was completely in me, he stopped and didn't move. We laid joined together, staring at each other.

  "TJ."

  "Ahhhhhh fuuuuuuck, Elle" was the only response I got from him as his face was buried in my neck.

  "Kiss me, baby." I whispered against the skin of his shoulder. I reached down to bring his head back up to me. I kissed him tenderly as he began slowly moving out then in again. The circling of his tongue was following the same motions as his hips. I grabbed a hold of his tongue and sucked it into my mouth which got me a long, deep groan of pleasure within his chest.

  "Elle babe, you with me?" TJ whispered softly in my ear.

  "Yes, don't stop!"

  Feeling my release building again, I wrapped my legs around his back as tight as I could and began to roll my hips that followed his tempo which made it build even faster.

  "Oh shit baby, I'm not gonna be able to hold off if you keep grippin' me like that. Oh fuck Elle, come with me. I can feel you, you're gonna come with me.,…yeah, that's it!"

  As I felt my orgasm building and filling me from the bottom of my toes to the top of my head, I knew we were going to come together. It was the most perfect ending to the best sex I think we had up until then.

  While still joined, TJ laid on top of me. I loved to feel his weight on me after we made love, it seemed it was his way of telling me we were not only one during but after too.

  "You with me, babe?"

  He always asked me this question after and I always answered the same way.

  "Always, anchored to ya. That was amazing!"

  "Yeah…it really was."

  This was the time that we would spend enjoying each other and would just talk. Chatting about anything that was on our minds but most of the time we would be discussing what we had just done. The new things we tried, whether we liked them…or not, and it was so comforting to me, it would make me feel like we were on the same page.

  Laying there in our tent on a pile of sleeping bags with TJ rubbing circles on my stomach right above my belly button I blurted out a question that just seemed to come out of nowhere.

  "TJ, if we were to have a baby, I mean when we are older…much, much older, when we have a baby what would you wanna name it?"

  His hand stopped rubbing and he looked at me with a quizzical look on his face, but yet he smiled as though he liked the idea of me being heavy with his child.

  "If I had a girl, I'd name her Layla."

  "Layla?" I chuckled. "I think of a girl all sprawled out on top of a jaguar in a White snake video when I hear the name Layla."

  Laughing, he replied "I got it from that Eric Clapton song, damn, that's such a great song."

  "Ok, ok…what about a boy?"

  Thinking for a minute by looking off over my shoulder he blurted out "Dylan Lucas."

  Shocked by this information, because that really was a beautiful name, I got the feeling he had thought about that name long and hard. Feeling that we were getting way too deep into this conversation, I quickly changed the subject; something I knew would definitely not bring it back up.

  "Wanna get a shower?"

  It was here that I realized my life, everything was going flawlessly for me. I had the perfect boyfriend. I was going to the perfect college. I was going to be the perfect doctor and settle down to have the perfect kids; minus the name Layla, the perfect house and I definitely would be out of Richland, which made the whole scenario perfect and there was no way my life could get any better than what I had.

  Needless to say, I would have never in a million years, thought my life would be changed and not for the better. Nothing would ever be the same again after this weekend.

  Chapter Two

  Present Day 2010

  Feeling TJ's touch early in the morning was priceless to me. The way he would slide his finger gradually down the side of my torso, tracing the lines of my hip bones, I knew what he had on his mind. He started slowly, kissing where his fingers had just been as he made his way to my thigh, where he tenderly turned me to my back so that he had better access.

  "Good Mornin', Ellie-Bean." he said in his slow Georgia accent. "hmmmmm, I love waking up to you in my arms."

  "Mornin, darlin." I breathed, in my sleepy tone as I stretched to meet the new day.

  "And what do we have here?" he hissed as he ran his fingers down to the top of my leg. "This is where my heaven is found." His fingers teasingly stroked the entrance to my innermost core "right here" I moaned in pleasure from his touch.

  He began to rub his fingers up and down and inside me; slowly, then faster. I began to feel like l was reaching for the peak of a tall mountain and it was in reaching distance; so close…so very, very close.

  "Oh yes! Baby, don't stop! TJ…oh my God, that feels so good!"

  As I commenced climbing over the mountain's summit, I heard a mosquito buzzing around my head. Quickly, I opened my eyes to shoo the fucking thing away; no mosquito. I heard it again; getting louder, I looked around for this stupid insect. "bbbbbuuuuuuuuzzzzzzzzzz!! bbbbbbbuuuuuuuuzzzzzzzzzzz!!"

  "Get up, turn it off ,Ellie…turn off the goddamn alarm!" I was surprised by the loud roar.

  What? Oh my God, I've had it again!!! THE dream of all dreams, I'm gonna kill Rachel!! I told her that fucking tea wasn't gonna work.

  "What the fuck, Ellie!" brought me from my mental murdering of Rachel Locke-Harrington.

  "It's 6:15, goddammit!! You let me over sleep! Now I'm gonna have to hear Slade's bullshit on why I wasn't there at six-thirty to pick him up and blah fucking blah! I don't think I ask a lot of you and what I do ask, you always seem to fuck it up! Can't you do one thing right? I mean come on, it's not like I'm asking you to do major surgery here! I'm asking you to wake me the fuck up! Fucking woman, you have a brain the size of an ant."

  I was barely awake, my response was scripted since according to Him, I'm the one who is the fuck-up ; apology, short excuse and change subject…don't argue, Elleny.

  "Look, I'm sorry. I was up late last night working on the bake sale items for Lucs' football boosters. Are you going to be able to take JoJo to her thing tonight? She's only got two more nights that she is ordered by the courts to volunteer for."

  "Are you shittin me?" He laughed as he was throwing on a t-shirt. "Ellie, you expect me to work all day, probably since you've overslept, you ain't gonna have time to make me a lunch, so I'll go all day without eatin. Then you expect me to come home, grab JoJo and take her to that shithole where those people are as capable of working as I am? Then go to the football field for practice tonight? Who the fuck do I look like…Super-fuckin-man?"

  See…always the fuck up!!!

  Did he just hear what I said? It wasn't like I was out with the girls, drinking and throwing money in another man's G-string until four am for Christ sake. I looked my husband straight in the eyes and wondered if he had lost his mind. It took all that was within me not to slowly walk over to him gradually, yet scandalously bend down to look at him with a sensual smile on my face and scream "FUCK YOU!!!!!" as loud as my lungs would let me. Instead, I just grabbed my skirt and shirt and h
eaded for the bathroom to begin my day.

  Mornings are never easy in my house, getting three stubborn teenagers ready for the day is overwhelming. Breakfast can't be just cereal and toast; it has to be a full-on Southern style breakfast. Eggs, sausage, bacon, grits coffee and juice and no one can eat the same thing. "I have three wonderful, beautiful kids." I began chanting out loud as though I was talking myself out of becoming animalistic and killing my young.

  "Stop it!"

  "No, you stop it!"

  "Touch my plate again, Douchebag and I swear to God…"

  "Harlee!"

  "What!!! Beiber wanna-be over here keeps touching my plate of food."

  Flipping over an egg one more time in the pan, I rolled my eyes at my one and only son "Luc…come on, just eat, sweetie. Can't you act your age? Oh, and where's JoJo? Did you knock on her door to wake her up?"

  "I tried Momma, but you know her. There is no way in hell I'm sacrificing myself just to try and get her out of bed!"

  I took my hands out of the warm, soapy dish water, grabbed a towel and wiped off the soap suds while I walked to the bottom of the stairs that led to the bedrooms.

  "JoJo, you have ten minutes until I leave; if you don't want to ride the bus to school I suggest you get down here."

  JoJo miraculously appeared the moment I walked back to the mound of dishes that now did not even attempt to hit the soapy bubbles.

  "Toast; two pieces, just butter…thanks, momma." JoJo ordered, as though I was a short order cook.

  "JoJo, you know you have that thing tonight."

  "I know momma, you don't have to keep reminding me."

  "This means you have to tell Sandy…I mean…Coach Johnson you won't be there for cheer practice."

  I pushed the bread down into the toaster and grabbed the items I was going to need to make a lunch for my husband. I quickly threw together two olive loaf sandwiches. I tossed three bags of chips and two pudding cups into his lunchbox along with the sandwiches and set it on the counter… Done! Just as I finished up, JoJo's toast popped up. I buttered the toast and handed off her breakfast.

  "I know momma…already taken care of."