HIL: a bay falls high novel

by Kidman, Jaxson

  “So this is what you came here for?”

  “No. I came here to tell you I’m sorry for what she did to you. I feel like I know you better. And I wish I had something to say about Vera. But I don’t. But you can’t ruin your life.”

  “My life?”

  “Trying to fight Ash all the time. Because of me. And then wanting to ruin it again with Uly. Now you’re beating people up for the hell of it…”

  “That’s what we do,” I said. “Remember?”

  “Not like this. You’re taking it out on everyone.”

  “Who gives a shit?”

  “I do,” Belle said.

  “You aren’t my problem. Go talk to Ash.”

  Belle swung her other hand and slapped me.

  I stood up and got away from her.

  “You’re wrong too, Hil,” she said. “You want to do this to yourself? Fine. But admit you’re wrong too. And then deal with it. Don’t be such an asshole.”

  “I fell in love with her,” I said. “And now she’s gone. That’s how it goes, Belle. Happened with Penelope. Then the way I felt about you. And now Vera. I’m good with whatever happens now.”

  “Don’t ruin what you have with Uly and Ash,” she said. “You and Uly are supposed to play a show tonight. Are you going to just not show up?”

  “I haven’t decided yet,” I said. “I might be in jail by then.”

  Belle stood up and walked to the door.

  “Werthwood said you could go,” she said. “He doesn’t want to see you right now. Everyone keeps chanting his name. You really started something there.”

  “Does that piss you off?” I asked. “Since you two have history?”

  “No,” she said. “I get it. That’s why I’m here. Ash and Uly get it too. You may not like it, but in a way we all love you.”

  “How sweet,” I said.

  Belle opened the door. “If you’re not at the show tonight, then you’re screwed for real, Hil. I don’t care what you do. But you’re going to regret it for the rest of your life.”

  “Thanks for the pep talk,” I said. “I might listen. I probably won’t.”

  Belle grabbed my hand. She pulled herself toward me and jumped up to kiss my cheek.

  “I hate to see you in pain, Hil. I can’t believe how much I care. And I can’t believe how much you care. And don’t think the tough guy act gets by me. It doesn’t. You may be cool looking to everyone out there… but to me, you’re Hil. And I know what that means. I hope you do too.”

  Belle opened the door and I saw Ash and Uly.

  She left the door open.

  She said I was free to go.

  They stared at me.

  I shut the door.

  Chapter 22

  I stood out back.

  I wasn’t completely sure how the show was happening. Something with Aya’s plans to expand the cafe were on hold for a second and now it was Uly and I’s job to play a show.

  Which I didn’t want to fucking do.

  Werthwood told me to take a couple weeks off to myself.

  I cruised down to the beach, got bored, went home, got even more bored, took a nap, smoked a bunch of cigarettes, and then grabbed one of my guitars…

  And here I was.

  Outside the cafe, enjoying the last drag of my cigarette, knowing damn well I was fucking late for the show.

  I flicked the cigarette away and opened the back door.

  I tossed my guitar case to the table and took out the guitar.

  Everyone was already looking to the stage.

  I saw Ash, Belle, and Mara off to one side of the cafe.

  They all smiled at me.

  I heard applause and caught the last second image of Uly getting up on the stage.

  I walked to the stage and the applause got louder.

  Then a few people started chanting It was Werthwood! which then turned into even more people. By the time I got on stage, the entire place was chanting it.

  Uly looked at me and we just had a moment.

  Staring at each other.

  He looked nervous yet relieved.

  I put my guitar around my neck and nodded to him.

  It was time to play the fucking show.

  Nothing mattered but the show.

  We stepped up to the mics and I waited for Uly to start the show.

  One strum of his guitar and we were jamming.

  Everyone quieted down from the Werthwood chants and changed it over to singing the song with us.

  My eyes scanned the cafe.

  I knew what I was doing and it was pointless.

  She’s not here.

  And she wasn’t.

  So I focused on the music.

  I played my parts. Sang my parts. Screamed my parts too.

  Just like a normal night on stage.

  And it felt good.

  Of all the stuff that had gone down, being up on stage had a sense of normalcy I hadn’t felt in a while.

  After three songs, I felt settled right back in.

  I stepped to the mic. “Werthwood.”

  Everyone erupted with booooo and I laughed.

  “I won’t be around for a little bit,” I said. “I was given some vacation time.”

  They laughed.

  “So tonight we just…”

  My eyes lifted a little and I stopped talking.

  Vera stood near the front window, looking at me.

  * * *

  “He’s speechless because he’s sad,” Uly said. “And speaking of sad, let’s sing a sad song together.”

  He started playing.

  I was frozen in place.

  Unable to look away from Vera.

  Those eyes. That hair. Wearing short white shorts and a red shirt with a jean jacket on top of that. The jean jacket was too big and shouldn’t have looked good. But it did. Because it was Vera. And her lips… they were as red as her shirt…

  I started playing my part of the song without telling myself to do so.

  I was supposed to start the song.

  The first verse was mine.

  My mouth slowly opened and and I found the words at the last second.

  Did you know how I felt about you? Did the summer end when we were through? Did the song stop playing when you felt blue? Did the rain dry up without a clue?

  I pulled away from the mic and stopped playing.

  I slid the guitar to my back and walked to Uly.

  “She’s here, man,” I said.

  “I know,” he said back.

  “Hate me for the rest of my life here, but I’m out. You can play this one on your own. Take all the credit. Sign any deal. Become famous. Do whatever you have to do, Uly. But I can’t let her slip away again. I can’t fucking lose her. I love her.”

  I turned and walked off the small stage.

  Uly didn’t stop playing for a second though.

  I took my guitar off and handed it to some random person.

  I pushed through the crowd to find Vera.

  When I got to the window she was gone.

  There was a piece of paper there.

  Actually, it was a napkin.

  I unfolded it and saw she had kissed the napkin and left it for me.

  I dropped the napkin and jumped for the door.

  Outside, I looked left to right.

  And there she was.

  Leaning against the cafe, smoking a cigarette.

  I had no idea what to feel. Or how to separate all that was going through me.

  A mix of every emotion ready to explode at once.

  I closed in on her, desperate to kiss her.

  To just have one more moment with her that mattered in our lives.

  She looked at me.

  She dropped her cigarette and stepped on it.

  I reached for her and she stepped back.

  “Vera…”

  “Hil.”

  I finally moved faster than her and my hands slid along her hips.

  I pulled her close to me.
>
  “Get me the fuck out of here,” she whispered.

  I nodded.

  “Let’s get the fuck out of here then, beauty.”

  * * *

  I grabbed her hand and we ran down toward the water together.

  I stopped before she did and pulled her back to me.

  Her hands reached up and touched my face.

  “What the fuck happened, Vera?”

  “I don’t know,” she said.

  “You went to Alaska?”

  “I had to.”

  “I texted you.”

  “I was pissed at you.”

  “I was pissed at you too,” I said. “I don’t know what’s real or fake or up or down…”

  “Up is up,” she said. “Down is down. Fake is fake. Real is real.”

  “Did Veronica call you?”

  Vera nodded.

  “How did you get home?”

  “Lied,” she said. “Veronica said she needed help. So I flew home. We had to keep the fake shit going for the cameras and stuff.”

  “I hate that about your life.”

  “And I hate Penelope,” she said.

  My heart sank again.

  I slowly sat down, my hands grabbing hers.

  Vera remained standing.

  I looked up at her.

  “I never meant to lie to you,” she said. “I didn’t know how I felt. Or what to do. That I could just come up to you and talk to you and things would happen. You were all over me, Hil. Right there with me.”

  “What did you think would happen, beauty?”

  “I had no idea.”

  “Was it real?”

  “Ohmygod it’s so real,” she said. “So fucking real. It scared me. All I know is people getting hurt in my life. And I talked to Veronica and she was real with me too.”

  “About me?”

  “Yeah. She didn’t say anything bad. Believe me. I think she has the hots for you too.”

  “Sisters…”

  Vera pulled away. “You’re such…”

  She fell to her knees and threw her arms around me.

  We hugged each other.

  I shut my eyes and listened to the ocean.

  “I just couldn’t see you leave, Hil,” she said. “So I left. I hid and left. I heard everything that was happening. I realized who Penelope was. And she said Greta was your baby…”

  “And it was all lies,” I said. I moved Vera back and gently held her arms. “It was all a lie. That’s what she does. What she did to me and Uly.”

  “She’s the one…”

  “Yes,” I said. “She was messing with me and Uly at the same time. She ruined everything. And she left. Before she left she faked one pregnancy for attention. But then she left really pregnant. The entire time she played this poor girl routine. All the while she was rich. So she left. And that was that. I had no idea about Greta. And when I saw her… and then everything you had been saying and doing…”

  “You thought I was her,” Vera said. “You thought what she did I was going to do.”

  “No. Not like that.”

  Vera blinked fast. “You just ran to her.”

  “When she told me Greta was mine. Not because of her.”

  “Veronica said you fought some guy too.”

  “I’ve fought a lot of people, beauty,” I said. “Ive been a fucking disaster without you around.”

  “It’s been a few days,” she said.

  “I know. That’s the point. My world is shit without you in it. If you’re not going to be here, Vera, then I’m going to keep destroying all that I can. Just to feel better.”

  “That’s definitely not a turn on.”

  “I’m not trying to turn you on. I’m trying to tell you something. I meant it when I said I loved you. I want you to play guitar. And piano. And sing songs. And be yourself. I don’t want you to hide and be fake because of your parents and their life. I get it though… fuck, beauty, I get it…” I moved my hands to her face. “You’ve never known real in your life. Just this game your parents play. And you wanted to play your own. You wanted me to chase you. To see if I was real. You wanted to piss me off to see if anger was real too. And all along you’re just some crazy badass beautiful perfect girl looking for someone to see that about her. I’ve seen it all along. From the second I saw you…”

  Vera shook her head. She shut her eyes. “No. That’s not true. None of that is true.”

  “Yes it is. I said it. I meant it. I felt it.”

  “Hil, stop,” she said. She opened her eyes. “If that’s all true, what does that mean for… us?”

  “What?”

  “Everything you just said. You make me want to be crazy. And you love when I’m crazy. And I can’t help myself around you. And if you really love me and I really love you… then that means… we actually love each other?”

  “Such a sad thing, huh?”

  “Shut up,” she said. “We’re both kind of crazy though. How does it work?”

  “It just does,” I said. “Don’t run away to Alaska.”

  “Don’t have ex girlfriends show up with babies.”

  “Ouch,” I said. “That was a low blow.”

  “It’s true.”

  “She hurt your sister too,” I said.

  “I know that,” Vera said. “But I’m not worried about Veronica.”

  “Because we’re meant to be together.”

  “What about your show tonight? Is Uly going to be mad at you?”

  “Oh yeah,” I said. “He’s going to be fucking livid.”

  “And…”

  “And there’s no other place I’d rather be.”

  Vera inched toward me.

  I met her and we kissed.

  We finally fucking kissed.

  And just like that it was like every inch of my soul had purpose again.

  I felt something other than anger.

  For a split second I almost felt bad for what I did to Werthwood. And everyone.

  Almost.

  I kissed Vera harder, deeper, tasting all the time we had lost.

  Just a few days, sure, but it could have been a few lifetimes if you questioned my heart.

  I broke the kiss just to look at her.

  “Is Alaska cold?” I asked.

  “What?”

  “Is it cold?”

  “Yeah. And dark. Boring.”

  “Why didn’t you text me back?”

  “I already told you, I was pissed at you.”

  “But you read the texts?”

  “Yeah. They were sad. You really need to not do that next time.”

  “Next time? I just said there’s no more Alaska.”

  “What about-”

  “Or Vancouver. Or Paris. Or whatever the fuck else you have to say. I’m not letting you go.”

  I pulled her down to the sand with me.

  On our backs.

  Staring up to the night’s sky.

  “Cliché,” she whispered.

  “I know.”

  “I kind of like cliché with you, Hil.”

  “Yeah.” I pointed to the sky. “Hey, look. Stars.”

  “No shit,” I said.

  “Oh, okay. Just wasn’t sure if you could see them or not.”

  “What?”

  I laughed. “Nothing. For the record, I still think it’s dumb.”

  “What is?”

  “You like the stars? Really dumb, Vera.”

  “Yeah? What about these stars?”

  She slammed her elbow into my stomach as hard as she could.

  I coughed and shut my eyes for a few seconds.

  I didn’t exactly see stars though…

  At least not until I grabbed for Vera and pulled her on top of me.

  I cupped her face, holding her hair away from her face, so I could look at her.

  “Now that’s something better to look at,” I said.

  “Okay, you have to stop with the cliché stuff,” Vera said. “It’s really getting to be too muc
h.”

  “I’m not looking at the fucking stars with you, beauty.”

  “Good.”

  She brought her lips down to mine.

  We kissed.

  The stars watched.

  The ocean waves crashed.

  And her kissing me meant I wasn’t able to talk.

  And I was fine with that.

  She had taken me and ruined me.

  I had taken her and made her tell the truth.

  And I didn’t know what that meant for us.

  But on the beach, kissing her, it meant everything.

  I really did love the crazy pretty girl…

  Epilogue

  I opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling.

  She left the damn bedroom door open.

  She was downstairs playing guitar.

  I looked at the clock and it was three in the morning.

  The booze hadn’t even worked its way out of my system yet.

  We started out at Raza’s.

  I kept my promise with Tommy.

  He showed up and I introduced him to a couple of hopefully lucky girls who thought his glasses were cool and his brain was hot and sexy like fire. Their words, not mine.

  I told Tommy to be careful and pace himself. Because if he became Two Second Tommy I wouldn’t be able to help him with that.

  Vera played guitar.

  Sitting at one of the beach fires.

  Looking like nothing I had ever seen in my life.

  Comfortable and beautiful, strumming away, leaving everyone watching in awe.

  She had a few drinks and I stayed sober so I could bring her back home.

  It felt like more and more that it was becoming our place.

  Which I was okay with.

  I didn’t mind the company.

  The attention in bed.

  But… leaving the door open…

  “Dammit,” I groaned.

  I climbed out of the bed and stepped into my jeans.

  I found a t-shirt and walked down the stairs.

  With a smile on my face.

  How could I ever get mad at hearing the sound of Vera making music?

  She had been banned from it in her life. To keep up with whatever fake shit her family forced on her.

  She sat on the edge of the couch with my guitar, wearing one of my hoodies, with her messy hair from you-know-what, with a notebook in front of her.

  Her new thing was to sing mine and Uly’s songs.