Love Unspoken

by Delilah Hunt

  “You don’t mean that. I’ve spoken with her. She seems like such a sweet young lady.”

  His jaw clenched. “I don’t care. There’s nothing between us. It has to stay that way.”

  Noelle didn’t want to witness anymore or hear Mrs. McKinney defend her against the man who once cherished and cared about her. She opened the door and stared at him, the flames of betrayal burning all the way down to her soul.

  “Noelle, he doesn’t mean—”

  She snorted and turned on the well-meaning woman. “With all due respect. I really don’t give a fuck what your son intended. Cole can speak for himself. He doesn’t need anyone to twist or try to soften his meaning.”

  Wiping away the hot tears threatening to complete her shame, Noelle shoved past both of them.

  Fucking tears.

  Her body trembled under the weight of her heartbreak. It felt like an invisible force had sucked the air out of her lungs. Her knees wobbled, threatening to give out and her stomach lurched. She wanted to fall to the ground and vomit, purge him from her system. Noelle pressed her hand against a tree for support. Lashes spiked with tears, she could barely see, couldn’t think beyond the pain.

  In that moment, she hated him. Noelle hung her head and scrubbed at the offending tears, wetting her cheeks. She lifted her head to see Cole pounding toward her. Noelle quickened her steps and took off racing, no direction in mind except to get away from him. She glanced over her shoulder. Cole stood, no longer following, just shaking his head as if he too was in a state of upheaval and confusion.

  She was done with him. Noelle spun on her heel and screamed. “I hate you!” She didn’t care that he could see the disgusting tears coursing down her face. Stupid tears that ignored her pleas not to fall. Her heart was shattered, would never be whole and he was responsible for it.

  She clutched her stomach to not keel over in anguish. Cole knew she’d come to see him and for him to not want to see her. As if she had meant nothing, even if it was just as a girl who gave him sex. That had to count for something, maybe five minutes of his time. At least she deserved an explanation why he was so hell bent on hurting her.

  His face lost color and Noelle jumped on it, yelling more words of hatred to him. She wanted to curse, rail at him forever but her voice cracked from exertion.

  He held up a large hand in warning. Noelle shook her head and took off running. She had to get back to her car. Had to get off the ranch and leave Cole McKinney behind and in the past.

  Heavy footsteps sounded behind her. Her heartbeat sped. A tremor of fear stirred to life in her. She didn’t know this person anymore, didn’t understand why he wanted her gone, yet wouldn’t leave her alone.

  Noelle quickened her pace and grabbed a hold of the barn door. Closing it, she raced toward a stack of hay, laying low on the ground between the dried grass.

  The door flung open. A heavy gust of wind swept through the enclosed space. Cole stood in the doorway, his large frame taking up the entire space, wisps of brown hair falling across his face.

  Noelle crawled backward, biting her lips to keep a cry of alarm from escaping her. His wide chest rose and fell as he stared her down at her. Furious, his eyes flashed with emotions she couldn’t discern, he reminded her of an angry warrior on the warpath. And God help her, as much as she hated him, she wanted him with every breath in her body.

  The thought of it made her weep in silence. That strong, raw depiction of masculinity standing in front of her, no longer belonged to her. Entranced, Noelle jumped as the door slammed shut with Cole’s long powerful legs eating away the distance between them in two strides. She straightened, preparing to run again. His strong arms gripped her shoulders firm. He held her as she struggled against him.

  “Don’t touch me.”

  Cole did just that, grazing his coarse knuckles over her face so tenderly she wanted to cry all over again. Eyes closed, he lowered his head. Her breath stopped when his lips brushed against hers.

  Noelle broke away and tore her mouth from his. It was too much. “Never again,” she managed. “Don’t ever try to kiss me or touch me again.”

  He wasn’t listening. His lips sought her face, kissing her cheeks, eyes, and everywhere else he could touch. Noelle heard the soft intake of his breath as he inhaled the scent of her hair. His face lowered, the prickly hairs along his jawline rubbed against the thin fabric of her shirt, heightening the sensation of his face caressing her breast. His large hand closed over the neglected breast, kneading gently. Her nipple beaded with want.

  Unable to help herself, Noelle parted her lips on a sigh. It had been so long since they were together. She could feel his erection prodding against her sex. Her heart thundered and her womb clenched. How would she go on without ever holding him close, feel his large cock moving within her, the warmth of his seed spilling into her. How she would miss the sight of his mouth curled around her nipples sucking hard, his head between her legs licking her folds. She would go insane without hearing that harsh cry she’d wrung from him each and every time he ejaculated in her mouth. She adored the sound and it had become a symphony to her ears.

  His hands went to her shoulders, pushing her to the ground, sprinklings of sawdust rising in the air. She didn’t fight him. With the crisp hay scratching at her back, she turned her gaze from the prying eyes of the two horses secured in their stalls. Noelle felt the tears she wanted so badly to keep hidden, race down her face. Cole brushed the back of his hand across her cheeks.

  “Don’t cry. Please, beauty. Don’t cry.”

  She shook her head and tried to push him away but he held her firm. “I’ll make it better. I’ll make you feel good,” he signed, his lips trailing along her nape.

  Jerking her legs wide, Cole knelt between them. He reached for the buckle on his belt, quickly pulling it part before shoving his jeans past his hips.

  “I don’t want you,” she whispered. It sounded weak to her ears. “Don’t make me want you, Cole. Please don’t.”

  Her plea went unanswered. Calloused fingers delved under her wool skirt and plucked down her underwear in one sweep. The cold air kissed between her thighs, licking the moist heat centered in her sex. Moaning, Noelle pressed her back against a barrel of hay as Cole shoved inside her pussy in one long stroke. He held her knees apart, a blanket of sheer determination written on his handsome features.

  Noelle scraped her hands to the hay-strewn floor. It dug into her opened palms but she didn’t care. Her body jerked, bouncing with each thrust of his massive build slamming into her.

  Noelle cried out, passion and heartache overtaking her emotions. Cole was fucking her so hard as if he was trying to exorcise her from his mind.

  Unacceptable.

  “Y-You can’t forget me, can you?” she asked, teeth chattering. Noelle closed her hand over his massive shoulder. “Were you thinking of this, Cole, how good we are together? Did you want someone to fuck? Tell me, damn you, is that why you contacted me?”

  His eyes flashed. Palpable pain skidded across his features. Staring up at the wooden beams high on the ceiling, Cole withdrew then drove into her with savage force. Noelle whimpered in pleasure pain. Lifting her hips, she matched him thrust for every primitive thrust he gave her.

  “You will never forget me, cowboy. No matter how hard you try, you’ll always remember me because I won’t forget you.”

  He leaned forward and circled his arms around her shuddering frame, bringing her closer, his cock pummeling at her walls.

  Noelle bit her trembling lips. She loved him so much it hurt. With her arms around his muscular back, she rested her head on his shoulder.

  “What am I going to do without this?” she murmured, feeling her pussy clench around his thick shaft.

  What will I do without you?

  She dreaded the thought of living the rest of her life without him. To run the chance of never seeing him again. It was unimaginable. Unthinkable. But after she left today she would have no reason, no excuse to return. She
didn’t want to grow old without having lived a life with him. Noelle wanted to scream in anguish.

  Against her control, a sob tore from her throat. Cole stroked the back of her hair with aching tenderness as the head of his cock pounded at the entrance of her cervix.

  She wasn’t going to last much longer. Like a coil, Noelle felt herself wounding tighter and tighter the faster Cole plowed inside her. She knew him and knew her man was going to climax soon. He was going to come deep inside her. The thought alone was enough to spiral her over the edge.

  She was on the pill so there’d be no chance of getting pregnant. God knew she wouldn’t have minded. She wasn’t overly fond of children, but with him, she would have wanted one. She would have wanted everyone to know she’d taken a part of Cole inside her body and something beautiful had sprung from it. Because their love was beautiful despite what anyone thought. Yes, she would have done so proudly.

  When her orgasm hit, Noelle felt her legs shake and her entire body quiver. His warm lips were everywhere on her, his hands touching all over. When his fingers landed on her belly, caressing the area below her navel, Noelle cried out in joy. “Come for me, Cole.”

  He pressed his forehead to hers. Taking hold of a handful of her hair, he surged deep, holding himself still. Wetness flooded into her, hot and thick. Noelle stroked his back, savoring the feel of his semen coating the tiny bruises inside her cunt.

  “Promise me you won’t hold anyone else like this.” Promise you won’t have sex with anyone else.

  He lowered his face and brushed his lips across hers. For once Noelle wished he could speak, to demand an answer from him. It was all too easy for him to ignore her questions, regardless of the absurdity of her request to someone who claimed not to want any part of a relationship with her.

  Cole slid his cock from her drenched sex and Noelle felt her sanity return. Realizing where they were, it hit her hard what she allowed to happen. Minutes earlier at his house, Cole admitted he didn’t want her on the property and like a fool she was laying on her back in a barn mid afternoon, her pussy wet and dripping with his cum, so much that it trickled to her inner thighs, which were splayed wide for his viewing.

  His hands worked fast to right his jeans and buckle the large black belt he had been so quick to open. Shakily, Noelle drew her legs together and reached for her underwear, raising it over her ankles. She sneaked a peek at him. No surprise, he avoided her gaze.

  Pain squeezed around her heart. “We just had sex, Cole. I think it’s a bit late to try and act modest, pretend like it didn’t happen.”

  His shoulders squared. “You wouldn’t understand.”

  “How can I understand? You shut me out. You won’t tell me anything.”

  Cole jabbed a finger, gesturing outside one of the opened windows. “Look around. You have eyes. This place is falling apart. It’s hard not to notice isn’t it?”

  Noelle gasped. “Cole, I didn’t—”

  He held up a hand then signed, “I’m up to my neck in work. There’s too much. You. My family. The ranch. It won’t work.”

  Her heart fell for him and herself. Cole had too much on his shoulders and now he viewed her as a burden he had to lose.

  “I didn’t realize it was hard for you to be with me. If I’d known, I would have ended things myself before I got caught up in our relationship.”

  “No. Never like that. I care about you, but I knew it wouldn’t work out. I can’t take care of you like you deserve.”

  “I’ve never set out to give you the impression I needed to be taken care of. I don’t care about what you have or don’t have.” Noelle took a deep breath. She was going to chance it one last time. “I want to be here, with you,” she told him softly.

  He bent low and grasped the handle of a broom. When he lifted his head to look at her, Noelle flinched at the harsh bleakness in his eyes. “Go home, Noelle. There’s nothing here for you.”

  The breath left her body. Her last card had failed. “Well, can’t say I didn’t try.” She bit her lips, hoping to see a reaction from him. “It was nice while it lasted and I definitely can’t say I regretted the sex. At least that you can give me, right?” Bitterness laced each word, but it didn’t matter. If he could be so callous then so would she. How else could she mask some of the hurt to not look like a complete fool?

  “Goodbye, Cole.”

  A muscle in his jaw ticked. The hand on the handle of the broom tightened. She wondered for a second if it would snap under his grip. Unrelenting, Cole maintained his distance. Noelle gave a nod. Never again would she shed a tear for him if he thought she gave a fuck about his lack of finances.

  She had chosen him over her family. His family hadn’t tormented and harangued him to make a choice. He chose to go out of his way and sacrifice her. No one forced him to. Noelle crossed her arms around her middle. One person didn’t make a relationship. Cole made his decision. She had to accept the fact that whether he spoke the truth or not, the interest was gone. Had to stop thinking about ‘Cole and Noelle’. It was her alone from here on out. And she was not going to return to the Tumbling Y to upset him or his family. Not when she was an expert at that with her own.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Things weren’t getting any better. Sure his father was out of the hospital, the bout of pneumonia treated and cleared. Cole was thankful for his father’s recovery, but it didn’t make things any easier for him. He was worse off than he could have ever imagined.

  The deep bristling cold of winter was out in full force, making him contemplate things he never imagined. Defeat was a hard pill to swallow. The success he had in fall with the sale of a quarter the herd of Angus bulls hadn’t been enough to make up for the costs associated with his father’s rising medical care and equipment needing to be replaced or fix. It was just as he told Noelle months ago. It was too much. No one could deny he’d done his best to save the place and keep his family secured. At the expense of Noelle.

  Not a day went by he didn’t think of her. The pathetic thing was, after sending her away, he’d still held on to hope of making the ranch a success…for her. He wasn’t doing it for his family, as much as he loved them. The one driving force that kept him out there until well after midnight seven days a week, taking on the duties of the workers he couldn’t afford to keep. He knew it was selfish of him, fixating her on when she could do a hundred times better than him. Only snag in that line of thinking was his love for her. He loved her and wanted her back. The intensity of his need for her shook him to the core. Noelle was the only woman for him and he was the only man for her. He was the only man who could love her as she deserved. He hoped to God, she had meant what she said about not caring about his lack of money and status. Yep. He was a selfish bastard, trying to condemn the woman he loved to a life with him, without the luxuries another man could provide her.

  “Are you sure about this?” his father asked.

  What other choice did he have? At the moment it was a one-man show that was failing miserably. “I’m sure.”

  Snow flurries fell from the sky landing on the snowcapped earth. Cole sighed. Another night spent without his woman in his arms. Yet another day went by without Noelle knowing how fucking hard he tried to make this work for them.

  Through the corner of his eyes, Cole glanced at his parents. His father, despite his failing health, had his arm around his mother’s shoulder offering comfort in light of their situation.

  Jealousy gnawed at him. Even in the worst times, his parents had each other. That in itself had to lessen the blow of losing the ranch; having someone there to talk to, get comfort and reassurances from, however false they might be. Slinging his hat lower over his head, Cole issued a curt nod, allowing them privacy. The same privacy he would have wanted with Noelle.

  He wondered how she had dealt with his rejection a second time. Had she received comfort from her family? Was Mr. Williams treating her better now that he was out of the picture?

  He damn well better be.
>
  Or maybe Noelle hadn’t needed a shoulder to cry on. Perhaps, whatever tenderness she carried for him melded into a deep-seated anger and hatred.

  Either way, he would find out tomorrow.

  ****

  The Williams house appeared smaller, less imposing than he remembered. Nothing felt the same this instance as he pressed his finger to silver doorbell. The door opened and Cole stepped backward, half expecting to see the face of an annoyed Mr. Williams, thick mustache and all. Instead, a dark skinned black woman around the same height as Noelle answered the door. Cole had seen her before, but he doubted the woman knew who he was.

  Mrs. Williams craned her neck, looking him up and down. Her apparent shock at his size worn off, she smiled at him from behind the door. Her high cheekbones reminded him so much of Noelle. “Good afternoon.”

  Cole stared at her knowing he had to do something. Removing his hat, he reached into his pocket, pulled out the notepad and scribbled. The poor woman, he didn’t want her to think she had a psycho at her doorway.

  Good afternoon Ma’am. My name is Cole McKinney. I used to work over on Mr. Somerset’s ranch. I’m here to see your daughter Noelle. Is she here?

  The older woman’s eyebrows shot up. Her mouth opened and closed. Before she could give him an answer, another voice sounded at the doorway. Disappointment settled in him. The voice lacked the hint of huskiness to Noelle’s tone.

  “Who is it, Momma?” He assumed the woman was Noelle’s sister, based on the high cheekbones identical to Noelle and Mrs. Williams. She stopped beside her mother and stared at Cole. Recognition flickered in her eyes.

  “You’re that guy who broke my sister’s heart, aren’t you?”

  Cole clenched his jaw. Damn, he hadn’t expected an outright attack. But the girl was correct. He ignored her and looked toward Mrs. Williams.

  After telling her daughter to hush, Noelle’s mother turned to him. “I’m afraid both my girls were born with an attitude I have no control over.” Her smooth face revealed their tiny wrinkles as she smiled. “You mentioned Noelle. I take it you have no idea where she is.”