Saving from Monkeys

by Star, Jessie L.

  I recognised her expression then as the one she'd worn when I'd announced I was Elliot's chambermaid. Confused, but still trying to be polite about it. And she had been polite, I realised, back then and now. I suppose I had to give her points for that, Elliot's old friends certainly had never done anything to hide how unimpressed they were with the things I said.

  And it was then, as Samantha smiled nervously at me, that it hit me. I had to get over it!

  Yes, a bunch of spoilt teenagers had been jerks to me years ago, but so what? It wasn't as if I had a monopoly on having uncomfortable teenage years. And now here was Samantha trying to be welcoming and I was the one being the jerk. Not just to Samantha either, but to Elliot too. He had specifically brought me here to introduce me to his friends and I'd spent most of the night hanging back and judging them.

  "Wow," I grabbed at Samantha's arm and beamed. "I just had a total epiphany!"

  "Oh," I obviously hadn't helped her discomfiture any, but she was apparently a good enough sport to smile encouragingly and add, "great."

  "Yeah, it really is. It was good to talk to you, Samantha," I added earnestly, ashamed at how stiff I'd been with her. "Thanks for saving me from apocalyptic Al." That done, I darted out from the corner, keen to find Elliot and explain to him, in case he didn't already know, that his friends weren't complete pricks.

  The group had dispersed through the house while I'd been stuck with Al, but I caught sight of Abi coming out of the kitchen and launched myself into her path.

  "Best friend!" I greeted her excitedly and she laughed her husky laugh.

  "Such enthusiasm," she grinned. "What's up with you?"

  I explained about my moment with Samantha and, after considering me for a moment, she rapped me lightly on the head with her knuckles. "You freak," she said good-naturedly. "I could've told you all that."

  "Of course you could," I agreed, "but I needed to know it for myself."

  "So, not all people born to privilege are absolute arseholes," she recapped. "What should we do to celebrate?"

  "Find my privileged, but also occasionally arseholey boyfriend," I said promptly. "Any ideas where he's wandered off to?"

  "I think he snuck off outside with Joe to drink and be manly without the womenfolk looking over their shoulders." Abi threw an arm around me and we shared a wicked smile as she added, "Let's go ruin that for them."

  ~*~

  "It's the weird stuff you notice," Jonah's rumbling voice carried across to where Abi and I stood, some way back along the porch.

  We'd found the boys outside as Abi had suggested. They were sitting shoulder to shoulder on the steps out the front, their backs to the front door talking quietly. What they were talking about, as Abi and I had very quickly realised, was us.

  "Abi keeps wearing my rugby shirts so they get boob bumps in them, and all my stuff has started to smell different."

  "Yep," Elliot nodded, taking a sip from the beer bottle he held loosely from his fingers. "And stuff moves. You come back and nothing's where you left it."

  "Abi makes my bed," Jonah shook his head. "What's that all about? I'm only going to mess it up again."

  Abi raised her eyebrows at me and I had to press a hand against my mouth to stop myself laughing out loud.

  The boys fell silent for a while, taking slow swigs of their drinks, until Jonah said quietly, "Worth it, though."

  "Yeah," Elliot agreed.

  Abi and I exchanged another look, this time our expressions pure mush. I think I must even have let out a tiny squeak, because I heard Elliot sigh and add, "It's just a shame about their tendency to eavesdrop."

  "Ha," I exclaimed, pulling myself together and marching forward, "you can talk." I plonked myself down in front of him and immediately his arms came around me and I felt him rest his chin on my head.

  "Having a good time?" He asked as I relaxed back against him.

  It was the perfect lead-in to what I'd sought him out to say and, with a fortifying glance at Abi, I got on with it. "I've been having an enlightening time, actually," I admitted, pulling his free hand round and linking my fingers through his.

  "Sounds ominous," he commented and I gave his hand a little tug.

  "No, it's just…I think you might have been right, you know when you called me a reverse snob?"

  Elliot suddenly went very still behind me, and I knew he did remember. "I was mad, Rox," he said softly. "I'd also just thrown a bedside table into a wall; I don't think we can take anything I said then seriously."

  "No, but you were right," I insisted. "I was worried about tonight because I assumed everyone would be just like the people who used to come round in high school, but that's not fair. Al thinks we're on the brink of mutually assured destruction, Rachel nearly burns her house down every morning when she leaves her straightener on, Kev knows all the words to all the jingles on TV; they're normal people. And I just wanted to let you know I've caught on and that I'm going to try and not be so judgemental in future."

  I would've thought this speech would make Elliot relax, but he stayed just as stone-like, even as Jonah and Abi awarded me a little ripple of applause. Maybe he just needed some time for that to sink in, the way I'd needed some time to realise it.

  Giving him the space to put his head round my change of heart, I threw out, "Also, Samantha said you're infatuated with me."

  I could imagine that other guys would've found this more off-putting than my other comments. Not Elliot, however. I felt the tension leave his body and he pulled me in closer against him as he asked, "Yeah? And what did you say?"

  "That I'm sorry she doesn't get to sleep with you anymore."

  He laughed; deep, sexy and in all ways yummy. "I'm sure she appreciated the apology."

  There was a lull then for a little while; Abi and Jonah, Elliot and I all nauseatingly coupled up and just enjoying the quiet companionship. Before too long, however, Elliot dropped his head down and I felt his lips teasing the spot where my neck met my shoulder. I closed my eyes at the sensation, but flicked them open again as he murmured against me, "Why do girls always smell so good?"

  I smirked. "We wash," I replied obviously.

  "No, there's something else," he insisted, pulling back slightly. "Some innate...something."

  "Hmm?" I twisted round to look at him. "And how many guys have you been sniffing to make this comparative analysis?"

  He rolled his eyes and lifted his hands up in surrender. "I give up. See if I ever try complimenting you again."

  "You didn't compliment me!" I protested. "You asked how girls, girls in plural and general, smell good. Frankly, you make it sound like you've been nosing up to every girl you come across."

  "Every girl I come across?" He repeated in disbelief. "Seriously? I can barely handle you, and you think there's others?"

  I let out a little exclamation of indignation and thumped his leg with my fist. "Excuse me?" I asked shrilly. "I wasn't aware I was being 'handled'."

  I felt, rather than heard his little laugh as he said lowly, "That's not what you said last night."

  "Oh my God, get a room!" Abi's voice cut across our moment and both Elliot and I raised our heads to look across at her in astonishment.

  "Hang about, you're telling us to get a room?" I choked out. "Mr and Mrs PDA over there?"

  "We've never been that bad," my best friend protested and I clutched at Elliot's arm, blown away by just how incorrect that statement was.

  "That first night I kissed Elliot I only went round to his place because I was too scared to go home as I knew you two would be going at it," I pointed out. "I was fairly confident I still didn't like him at that stage, but being with him was still preferable to spending time around the pair of you!"

  "Think you've successfully managed to insult all three of us there, Rox-honey," Elliot commented mildly.

  "Oh, just go and have sex already," Jonah interjected as Abi pursed her lips…although, knowing my friend as I did, I was fairly sure she was only doing it to hide her
smirk.

  "If we do," I said hotly, "we'll do it because we want to, not because you've told us to."

  Because we were having possibly the stupidest argument the world had ever seen there was a bit of a pause after this. Elliot broke it by asking quietly, "Do you want to?"

  I considered this and then replied, as haughtily as I could under the circumstances, "Yes."

  "Right then." Elliot set aside his bottle with a clink, and then stood and pulled me up in the same motion. I let out a little shriek as, in the next second, he set his shoulder to my stomach and lifted me up so I was slung, fireman-style, over his shoulder.

  "'Scuse us, guys," he said, sketching a quick salute to Abi and Jonah with the hand not holding me steady. "We're off to have sex because we want to."

  I waved goodbye to our friends over Elliot's shoulder as we left, and I think I was probably happier in that moment than I'd ever been before.

  ----------

  "This sucks." Elliot groaned and threw himself back against his pillows.

  "This is your future," Rox corrected him obnoxiously. With her eyes still fixed on her textbook she absently picked up his notes and smacked them into his stomach. "So get studying."

  He groaned again. Midyear exams. What a crock.

  He rolled his head round and watched Rox scan a page of her book almost hungrily, jotting down notes in the margin and occasionally closing her eyes to repeat something to herself.

  She was absolutely mental, he decided. She actually seemed to be enjoying going over her stuff, while he was about ready to stab himself in the eye with his pen just for the distraction.

  It wasn't that he didn't enjoy his degree - just as well as he was teaching it to the first years - but when it came down to memorising specific dates and analysing sources…well, he just didn't give a root. In his opinion, whether the Napoleonic Wars started in 1802 or 1803 didn't make the slightest bit of difference, unfortunately, he knew the exam markers probably weren't going to be as laissez faire.

  It didn't help either that Rox had spent the night with him and was still wearing the flimsy tank top and cotton shorts she'd slept in. Each time she leant forward her top gaped and put paid to any possibility of him keeping his eyes on his notes.

  Unable to stop himself, he went to reach for her, but found that she'd pre-empted his move and slapped a restraining hand on his shoulder.

  "No," she said firmly, still refusing to so much as glance up from her book. "We wasted three quarters of an hour last time you did that."

  His eyebrows shot up. "Wasted?" He repeated incredulously.

  "Enjoyed, whatever."

  Great, not even a month into their relationship and he was being cock-blocked by exams.

  Still, he couldn't help but notice that Rox hadn't removed her hand from him and, in fact, she'd started to absentmindedly massage the muscle just behind his shoulder. After being hunched over his laptop and books for the past couple of days it felt amazing and he hummed his approval low in his throat.

  Bending his head down, he kissed her hand and reached up to lightly trace the thin blue veins in her wrist.

  He heard her give a little sigh and knew he'd scored a momentary advantage over her textbook. He also knew it wouldn't last, so he took the opportunity to lean over and brush her mouth with his.

  She rolled her eyes and shot him a look that said she knew exactly what he was doing, but then her eyes fluttered closed and she pressed back against him. They kissed languidly, knowing it wasn't leading anywhere as Rox hadn't factored 'impromptu sex' into her study schedule, so just enjoying it for what it was.

  As Elliot shifted closer to her, however, he knocked the open book she'd been poring over and it started to slide off the edge of the bed. Breaking the kiss, she made an automatic, clumsy grab for it, snatching her hand back almost immediately, however, with a cry of, "Monkeys!"

  Her book hit the floorboards with a bang and she started to flap her hand in the air. As he looked at her enquiringly she hissed, "Paper cut!"

  He reached up, drawing her hand down and they both watched as the thin white line on her finger blossomed with blood. "Nasty," he agreed, letting her go and jumping off the bed to grab her a bandaid from the bathroom.

  As he rummaged in the cupboard under his sink he could still hear her muttering, "Monkeys, monkeys, monkeys," to herself and he smiled.

  "You really need saving from monkeys, you know," he called back into the main room. "A paper cut like that deserves a proper 'fucking fuck that hurts'."

  He finally found the bandaids and it was as he was straightening back up that he realised there was an ominous silence pulsing from the other room.

  "Rox?" He called as he kicked the cupboard shut. "You haven't bled out, have you?"

  "What did you say?"

  Her voice was a thready sort of whisper and he only heard it because he'd been listening out for her. For the briefest moment he was confused, and then realisation hit him like a fierce slap to the face.

  His heart gave a massive, painful thump and then seemed to stop altogether. Suddenly needing to steady himself, he leant a hand against the wall and dropped his head down.

  "Fucking fuck that hurts?" He could barely force the words past his tightening throat and he needn't have bothered as Rox answered almost immediately,

  "Before that."

  He pressed his forehead to the cool plaster next to his hand and it took everything in him to repeat quietly, "You need saving from monkeys."

  There was another silence, this one, if possible, more absolute and horrifying than the one before.

  Like a condemned man, he compelled his legs to move and he rounded the bathroom door to see Rox kneeling on the rumpled covers of his bed. Her face was pale apart from two blazing circles of colour high on her cheeks.

  "Oh my God…" she choked when she saw him."I know what happened."

  Chapter 17 – The Truth and Nothing but the Truth

  Three Months Ago…

  "OK, I'm off." Abi grabbed up her bag and headed towards the door. "I'm on the close shift, so I'll probably see you tomorrow. Enjoy your super secret special alone time."

  Sprawled across my bed in the super secret special alone time uniform of tracky dacks and comfy tank top (definitely no bra allowed) I grinned at Abi. "I shall. Enjoy your awful, busy, on your feet, serving others time."

  She grimaced and then the door was closing behind her and I was alone.

  Ah the blessed peace!

  I loved Abi, I really did, but sometimes you needed a break even from awesome, and the nights when my roommate was out, and I had no plans, were cherished.

  I stretched, wiggling my toes contentedly, and looked at the little pile of books next to me on the bed. It was a heady mix of my favourite textbooks and novels and sure to see me through the evening in the most pleasant way possible.

  There was one problem, however, a problem that revealed itself as I leant over to open the little fridge and saw that, for possibly the first time since I’d moved into my accommodation, there was no chocolate to be seen. I was the Mother Hubbard of the chocolate world! My drawer was bare! How was I supposed to have super secret special alone time without chocolate?

  Unfortunately, leaving my room to go seek some cocoa goodness wasn't an option. Outside my door was a massive residential hall teeming with people who were just waiting to demand I get dressed and go drinking with them. Seriously, it was like a scene out of a peer pressure video out there 24/7. I didn't have any particular problem with getting drunk, but this was super secret special alone time, not drinking time.

  Except…I started brushing aside the salad bags in various stages of wilting (Abi and I always had the best of intentions with salad, intentions that never seemed to result in us actually ever eating any). Once our failed attempts at being healthy were cleared away, I saw what I was after; a four-pack of chocolate vodka mudslides that I'd been given by a girl in one of my tutes. They'd been a thank you for helping her with some of the cour
sework and she'd informed me that they were her favourites. After considering that her attraction to heavily sugared, surprisingly alcoholic, drinks was probably part of the reason she wasn't doing too well in her classes, I'd thanked her, tucked them away at the back of the fridge, and there they'd stayed.

  Abi hated milk based alcoholic drinks, saying they made her gag, and I was a bit wary of them for being a grown up thing masquerading as a kid thing. To my mind they’d seemed a bit creepy. Now, however…

  I pulled a bottle out and had a look at the alcohol content. OK then, definitely alcoholic, but then I wasn't planning on going anywhere, I was having super secret special alone time, and I really did want that chocolate hit...

  Grabbing up the pack, I headed back to my bed, settled myself down and cracked open some vodka chocolate goodness to go with my economic sequential reciprocity. As it turned out, they went surprisingly well together. So well together, in fact, that when I finished one bottle, I just moved straight on to the next. The afternoon faded into evening and I was toe-wiggling happy as the vodka merrily meandered its way through my blood stream.

  I was just finishing my third mudslide, and beginning to find the noise the pages of my textbook made when flicked increasingly entertaining, when I heard a sudden commotion outside my door.

  Stopping to listen, I recognised Kira and Kara's voices and gave an involuntary shudder.

  Kira and Kara lived down the hall and Abi and I tried to avoid them at all costs. It was these two that had driven us to promising each other in first year that we wouldn't fall in love at uni. The two K's spent so much time running up and down the corridor shrieking about how much in love they were that they'd completely turned Abi and I off the idea.

  They didn't sound in love this time, though, in fact one of them (I could never tell them apart, so I couldn't be more specific) sounded decidedly upset. It wasn't my business, and the point of super secret special alone time was to ignore everybody else, so I tried to focus back on my book and take no notice of the wailing.