A Hero Needed Tonight

by Jaime Savage

  TONY

  'I take it they did not teach you first grade French at school'?

  AVA

  'No sir'.

  TONY

  'Perfectly understandable. Why learn another language when we cannot even master our own? Why, right now, out there in that despicable world the brains' trust is changing our once beautiful language to suit their duplicitous agendas. You may not be aware but they are now teaching children to use the gender neutral pronoun ''Ze''.

  AVA

  'How peculiar'.

  TONY

  'I suppose it must be murder playing matchmaker and setting your friends up on dates out there'.

  Tony sniggers at his own joke. Ava lets out a forced laugh.

  AVA

  'I suppose it must be'.

  TONY

  'You'll have to excuse me I digressed a little there. For the record ''le Vieux Continent'' does not mean sit down it means the Old Continent'.

  AVA

  'Europe'?

  TONY

  'It is a French synonym for Europe yes'.

  AVA

  'I did not know that'.

  Ava is clearly out of her comfort zone.

  TONY

  'The reason I said this is because I have just been reading in the paper that the French people have now coined a new phrase-Le Centre-Ouest'.

  He pauses for her interpretation.

  AVA (guessing)

  'The centre of the world'?

  TONY

  'Close?it means The Middle West'.

  AVA

  'Like the Middle East'?

  TONY

  'Correct. You see the people of Europe did not build their house very strong. They made it out of straw and when the wolf came it crumbled very quickly'.

  AVA

  'I have never really thought about it like that before'.

  TONY

  'America of course is the second little pig and while he built a far superior house he too has been blown down by pollution, violence, corruption and foolish amounts of debt'.

  AVA

  'And what about the third pig'?

  She had answered her own question.

  TONY

  'I created Epiphany because I wasn't happy with the road America was headed down. I created Epiphany because I wanted to save America from itself. As you can see my efforts have outdone even my wildest imagination. Through hard work and innovation we have built this fully sustainable city for the benefit of conserving the human race. Our house is made of bricks and when the big bad wolf comes and tries to blow us away like he did back in June, only very minimal damage is incurred and no lives lost'.

  AVA (quietly)

  'Ricardo Stensnan'.

  TONY

  'Stensnan's is just one man. However, one man can still take a sledge hammer to the filter system and proceed to play his piper and make America believe that all their problems are our fault. Is it our fault for wanting a better life? Is it our fault for working harder than them, for being smarter than them, for taking risks and being bold? No. Should we have to sit here and watch these grunts scourge Earth'?

  AVA

  'Stensnan is running for President though. They say he could become the kingmaker in the election. Those ''grunts'' are flocking to him'.

  TONY

  'Ricardo Stensnan's reign has no jurisdiction here. That swine of a man knows it too. He will never set foot here and if he knows what's good for him he will order his supporters to pack up their little dog and pony show and leave our borders'.

  Tony stops his rant and sits deep in thought for a few moments. The waterfall is the only sound that can be heard.

  TONY

  'I'll tell you Ava what I tell all my people which is that you should not worry about him. There are far more dangerous threats out there'.

  He starts smirking.

  TONY

  'For example, people out there banning the nursery rhyme ''baa, baa, black sheep''. And let us not forget that there are people out east buying ring tailed lemurs as pets as one would a cat or a dog'.

  AVA (grinning)

  'I did hear about these strange phenomena'.

  TONY

  'Indeed they are but many things are peculiar in this world. You see these thoughts would never have crossed your young mind but the mid fifties are a very strange time in a man's life. So many ingredients are thrown together for better or for worse. As a man gets deeper into his fifties he really begins to wrestle with his own mortality. It is a weird toxin made up of the chemical imbalance of impending doom mixed with a sense of unique freedom one only feels when they have nothing to lose. The point is I may have saved Americana but I have another goal that I'm unequivocally focused on achieving before I depart this Earth'.

  AVA

  'Wildlife'.

  TONY

  'Correct. I am expanding my zoo to become the largest in North America because God told me in my prayers that it was my job to save his creatures. My zoo has, to date, ensured thousands of animals continued survival; much in the same way as my lifestyle block have ensured the survival of what is left of America. Thanks to you and your colleagues my dream is being played out before my very eyes'.

  AVA

  'Well It's an honour to work for you sir'-

  TONY

  'My dream isn't complete yet. My sanctuary is still out of reach for many ill fated creatures which is why I bring you here today. I am aware that you work both in the fields of zoology and as a veterinarian'.

  AVA

  'Yes sir'.

  TONY

  'A jack of all trades, but are you a master'?

  AVA

  'Conservation is my life'.

  TONY

  'You agree with me then that it's of vital importance that we rescue every living thing before the God forsaken people outside Epiphany destroy them once and for all'?

  AVA

  'Absolutely'.

  TONY

  'I think my decision to bring you here today was a wise one Avalon. We are both aware of the gross negligence and lack of contempt for Mother Nature these wicked people hold outside my oasis in their filth ridden cities. And we are both aware that it is our duty to stand up, fight and save the final remnants of this beautiful planet before they are gone for good'.

  AVA

  'Absolutely sir'.

  TONY

  'Well listen up Ava; I'm going to get straight to the point. There's a civil war about to break in Central Africa. Are you aware of how many gorillas died in the last one'?

  AVA

  'I cannot imagine'.

  TONY

  'More than there are left now from what I understand. Landmines are the main culprit but there is also a very strong link between the dissension of chaos a civil war creates and the rise of poaching as civility goes out the door. As you can see-this is it. This may be our last chance to prevent the full and complete annihilation of one of mankind's closest relatives. God has presented us with an elusive opportunity to acquire a number of gorillas for my zoo and I need someone to go there as soon as possible, evaluate them and make sure we are getting a good deal'.

  AVA

  'This is great news'.

  TONY

  'We have been incredibly fortuitous. The gorillas captured are a family unit comprising of a female gorilla who has only recently begun a new group with a lone male. They have one juvenile gorilla. Being a family unit they are fantastic candidates for my zoo. However, dampening this is the fact that the heart of Africa will soon be a dangerous place. We must be swift, we must be decisive. I cannot emphasize enough that this could be our absolute last shot of saving these magnificent creatures'.

  She beams at him.

  TONY

  'I believe this would further your career greatly. I believe the experience you would receive from this trip to be unmatched elsewhere'.

  AVA

  'This would truly be an experience of a lifetime'.

  TONY

  'I
must warn you these are very trying times. How do you explain it? It's almost like the 1930s and 1980s have been coupled together in a Shakespearean tragedy of a forced marriage'.

  AVA

  'That is a very vivid description'.

  TONY

  'Even though we have never been better here in our home, the same cannot be said for the rest of the country or the world for that matter. These are dangerous times Ava'.

  AVA

  'I have to do this Mr Parkinson, for the good of Mother Nature'.

  Tony sinks back in his chair in thought.

  TONY

  'The stakes are high as you understand. I have to ensure that I have selected the right person to uphold my dream. There are many other candidates who have put their names forward. I must ask you Avalon, are you well travelled? Do you know much of the world'?

  AVA

  'I've been to Montana and Washington State'.

  It's clearly not the answer he wanted to hear. He starts checking her resume flipping through the pages.

  TONY

  'Montana and Washington State? I have candidates who have more travel experience than you. Many of these candidates have had the benefit'-

  AVA

  'I'm ready for this, believe me I am'!

  So covers her mouth in shock that she has interrupted him midsentence. Tony Perkins is clearly not a man who is interrupted very often.

  AVA

  'I'm sorry to interrupt you but wildlife conservation is my life Mr Perkins. It's everything to me. I know of the destruction and disregard that is taking place as we speak by those despicable people out there. I know that animals can't speak or stand up for themselves and I'm willing to put my life on the line if that is what it takes to salvage what's left of them'.

  Tony lowers his glasses and impassively watches her. All that can be heard in these tedious seconds is the sound of the waterfall in the background.

  TONY

  'I think I've found what I'm looking for'.

  She beams at him.

  TONY

  'The apocalypse is coming it seems and I want you to go right into the eye of it'.

  SCENE: BALCONY

  A man is stood on a balcony looking at an electronic device. The balcony provides a panoramic view of the Detroit city centre and the city's river below. Hidden behind a blanket of mist we see the ominous comet in the night sky. The balcony door is slid open and a man emerges from inside-It's Luke from the hospital.

  LUKE

  'Hey Tim'.

  TIM (not taking his eyes off his device).

  'Welcome'.

  Tim starts shaking his device in frustration.

  TIM

  'Damn trigger filters. My wife must have been playing around with it. I can't access a number of articles as they may ''offend me''.

  LUKE

  'Just turn them off'.

  TIM

  'Easier said than done'.

  He powers the device off.

  TIM

  'I was just trying to read up on your boy Jesse Johns'?

  LUKE

  'I still can't believe it. It simply can't be true'.

  TIM

  'Just goes to show that you can't trust nobody anymore. I mean Jesse Johns, a man of the people, Detroit's favourite son. Now he's just another name on the steroid hall of shame; what a disgrace. I mean my kids looked up to this guy; he was their hero. I guess we only have ourselves to blame; we promote and glorify these athletes so much so that they take the position of role models. We lose our objectiveness when we see these people. These guys aren't heroes, they're overpaid, self interested, media magnates. They don't care about us, or the city they represent'.

  LUKE

  'It's only allegations Tim. Nothing's been proven yet'.

  TIM

  'I doubt it Luke, I really do. I've seen it too many times in the past. If anything, the media's to blame in all this. They're just rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic trying to lift some individual to the heights of redeemer of the working men and woman. I mean, the media built up that astronaut, Mateus McClure, as a hero to all-the final conqueror, our first man to go to Mars and all that bullshit-and then they hung him out to dry once the economy got tough. And now, after Johns' miracle victory, the media became his closest pal after years of ridiculing him for his inability to win the Heavyweight championship. Now they're returning to chastising him again. God, I've already seen them talking up that egomaniac buffoon, Duncan Strepfield, proclaiming him as our hero now; it's farcical. I hear he's even going to be singing 'Take me out the ballgame' during the World Series. Do they honestly think that endless self promoter is the man we can all turn to in our darkest hour? They've essentially built Frankenstein'.

  LUKE

  'Well the media's obsessed with creating a golden calf idol we can all cling to in our darkest moments. Unfortunately they fail to see that our answer does not lie with creating a fabricated, media breed celebrity'.

  Tim shakes his head and puts the device away.

  TIM

  'You won't find any celebrities where you're going'.

  LUKE

  'You've got a top notch assignment for me then'?

  TIM

  'We want to send you out with a bang; it goes without saying'.

  LUKE

  'I'm excited'.

  TIM

  'I need your word that you'll be ok'.

  LUKE (grimacing)

  'Tim, we agreed'.

  TIM

  'I know, I know, I just wanted to check'.

  LUKE

  'You can't take this away from me. We had an agreement'.

  TIM (nodding)

  'You're going to Africa'.

  LUKE

  'I'm very excited now'.

  TIM

  'You got a girlfriend'?

  LUKE

  'No'.

  TIM

  'Well you do now. Her name's Avalon and she's probably more high society than you're used to; she's from Epiphany'.

  LUKE

  'A bubble dweller'?

  TIM (grinning)

  'By all accounts she's a right diva'.

  LUKE

  'What the hell is a bubble dweller doing leaving her panic room at a time like this? Why would a rat jump back on board our sinking ship'?

  TIM

  'She may be joining our sinking ship but it's a very brief visit. She's an upstart veterinarian who wants to move up in her world so she's taken some assignment no one else wanted travelling over there to retrieve some gorillas'-

  LUKE

  'Gorillas'?

  TIM

  'Yeah, crazy old Tony Perkin's thinks he's Noah. He's building the ark of zoos in his bubble city. He won't rest until he's saved every living thing from extinction'.

  LUKE

  'Wasn't saving the richest humans in America enough'?

  TIM

  'I should have clarified; every living thing he can make money off'.

  LUKE

  'Why doesn't he just ship the apes over? What good is it risking the girl's life going over into the middle of fucking nowhere'?

  TIM

  'This is Tony Perkins we're talking about Luke. Why do you think he built his own city that for all extents and purposes is independent from the central government? He hardly trusts a soul that resides outside his bubble'.

  LUKE

  'Why does he trust us for protection then'?

  LUKE

  'Because we're the best Luke'.

 

  Luke beams at his senior.

  TIM

  'She arrives in New York on Thursday week. You'll meet her on Friday at her hotel and fly out early the following morning on route for the Middle East via Europe. From there you'll fly direct to Africa'.

  LUKE

  'They really are chucking her in the deep end aren't they? She won't know herself when she sees the disorder in New York'.

  TIM

  'There's disorder everywhere. This is
not an easy assignment Luke. Central Africa is on a knife's edge at the moment. Apparently it could all fall over any day now. You're going in and then we're taking you out-just like that. If war breaks out it's going to be chaos getting you two out and Uncle Sam has got enough problems at the moment without having to rescue two lovers from a nation they shouldn't have been in the first place. Plus you've got that fucker to contend with'.

  Tim points to the ominous looking comet which is covered by dense fog.

  LUKE

  'A world in chaos. We'll get through this Tim. Humans are bizarre creatures. Despite this, inadvertently, as we always do, we overcome-sometimes miraculously- whatever obstacles we put before ourselves. This political and economic upheaval is just another hurdle so to speak. We'll rise above this and come out stronger than before; mark my words'.

  TIM

  'You're an inspiring man Luke. A few more poor souls in this city would do well to listen to you. Detroit's bleeding right now'.

  LUKE

  'It pains me to see my home town like this. It pains me to see that the battle correspondents may have been right all along. They wrote the obituary for this city decades ago. A modern day Babylon they called it; destined for ruins'.

  TIM

  'If this year has taught me anything it's that nothing is destined for ruins. My wife sure as hell makes sure of that constantly reminding me about how she wants to go a holiday to see the rebuilt Colossus of Rhodes in Greece. That was before this shit storm played out of course'.