Courage To Believe (Cowboys of Courage 2)

by Charlene Bright

  “That’s awful, you heathen!” she hissed back at him. “Get your hands off me!”

  He only wrapped his arm tighter around her. “Look, I tried to minimize the mortification you brought on yourself. Return the favor and stay where you are for a second while I adjust myself.”

  She stilled instantly, and he could feel the change in her breathing pattern. Lucas smirked and asked in a growl, “You really weren’t finished when we left my house, were you?”

  Gillian grunted. “There’s that overwhelming ego again. You have your sister fooled, don’t you?”

  “I’m not egotistical. I just know when a woman wants me,” he argued. Finally, he let her go, and she jerked fast enough to nearly fall down again. Lucas didn’t reach for her this time, and Gillian righted herself with both crutches, ripping the one out of his hand. Speaking out loud, he said, “Why don’t you finish your dinner with your family, and maybe we can talk again before you go home to Richmond?”

  She nodded shortly. “Sure, Lucas. Goodnight, Chrissy.” She finally made it back to her table, and she sat down, huddling in on herself as Lucas slid back into the booth across from his sister. He didn’t like the look in Chrissy’s eyes.

  “What are you staring at?” he snapped.

  She just shrugged. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you smitten before.”

  Lucas scowled at her. “I’m not smitten.”

  “That’s a load of manure, Lucas. You get all doe-eyed over her, and I could cut through the sexual tension between the two of you with a knife. Tell me what happened last night.” Chrissy sounded like a schoolgirl looking for gossip.

  “What are you talking about? She was injured, and it was freezing cold with torrential rain.” He tried to blow it off, but that was useless, considering that Gillian had just aired dirty laundry in the middle of the diner. Squeezing the bridge of his nose, Lucas divulged, “There might have been a momentary lapse in judgment and some attraction. But it’s nothing, okay? She’s from Richmond, and you know me. I have no intention of settling down.”

  “Sure, Lucas, if you say so.”

  Her sarcasm rubbed him the wrong way. “Look what happened to you, Chrissy. I’m not putting myself in that position. Besides, I can’t even afford my ranch right now. My check for the auction still hasn’t come, and I had to borrow a chunk of money from Garrett to pay my mortgage. How could I even think about having a wife?”

  Chrissy’s expression changed, and she looked so sad it broke Lucas’s heart. “You can’t let my hard luck ruin your future, Lucas. You’re a good man with a good sense about people, and you’ll make a better decision than I did. I would hate for you to deny yourself of something wonderful out of fear.”

  But Lucas stubbornly jutted his jaw forward. “It’s not about that, Chrissy, and it’s not about helping you. It’s about the way women are when they stake a claim on you. I don’t need someone rearranging my kitchen or telling me it’s not okay to sit out on my patio at three in the morning and think.”

  “You are insane,” Chrissy said, sounding incredulous. “You don’t really think that’s what marriage is like, do you?” He quirked a brow at her. Was she kidding? But she shook her head. “When you find the right person, neither of you needs to tell the other what to do. You both make compromises of your choosing because you love each other enough to do that.”

  Lucas didn’t relish the idea of compromising at all. He liked things as they were. “And then you resent each other for it, and your eyes start to stray.”

  Chrissy winced, and Lucas immediately regretted his words. “Vince never really loved me, you know. If he had, his eyes wouldn’t have wandered. Look at Sam and Lucille,” she referred to the mailman and his ancient wife. “They’ve been together for something like seventy years without a single bout of unfaithfulness. That’s how real love works.”

  It was more like fifty years, but Lucas got the point she was trying to make. He still didn’t think marriage was for him, but he had to admit, waking up to the same woman every morning could be refreshing. Especially if it was someone as utterly arousing as Gillian Grayson. “All right, you’ve said your piece. Now, eat before I get called away to rescue some damn cat from a tree.” Too often the rare occasion he got to spend time with his sister without the kids was interrupted by work, and he didn’t want to risk that happening tonight.

  Chapter 14

  Some people fought by screaming or cursing loudly, or even throwing items around at each other. Others were even physically abusive. Gillian sensed the brewing discord between her aunt and uncle by the utter silence. It crackled with static, and as soon as they arrived back at the ranch, Gillian made her way to the guest room and shut the door as fast as she could. She didn’t want any part in whatever implosion occurred from the growing void from lack of communication.

  She would have thought she’d caused the issued with her hazardous night, and perhaps made it worse with her completely humiliating actions at the diner. But there was something more beneath the surface than she could read, and she really didn’t want to shove her nose in the middle of it.

  Instead, she called her mom to assure her everything was all right. The woman was frantic with worry and in tears, but at least she didn’t lecture Gillian as her aunt had. Gillian’s mother at least recognized that her daughter was an adult and didn’t need to be treated like a kindergarten washout.

  Once she hung up, though, Gillian was at a loss. She had no idea what to do now, with a bum ankle, a bag full of prescription pills she didn’t want to take, and her aunt and uncle building a storm the size of the one Lucas had rescued her from in the confines of the four walls around them.

  The thought of Lucas brought a sigh to her lips, and she threw herself back on the bed. He probably thought she was needy and stupid now, and he likely hated women with jealous streaks. She’d given him a lot of reasons to take back his little threat about accepting her invitation, and yet, he’d still mentioned it. And she’d felt the truth of his desire in the erection that had been stabbing her in the back and making her yearn to feel it between her thighs.

  Why couldn’t she just get him out of her head? And to make matter worse, she had every intention of butting her nose where it didn’t belong when it came to Lucas Graham. She’d stay out of the domestic issues here, but she couldn’t forget about the financial ones Lucas faced, all because of Gillian’s stupidity. She was bound and determined to make sure that he didn’t lose his ranch, especially after she’d made a scene and humiliated him in public. She pulled out her laptop and started checking several things online as a plan formed in her head.

  When she’d finished, she smiled. Now, all she had to do was find a way to Garrett and Shakota’s ranch. She didn’t know how to get there or how far it was, but she was sure someone would give her a ride. After all, this was a tight-knit community, right?

  * * *

  Wiping the sweat from his brow, Lucas straightened and stared out into the tree line. He’d heard leaves crunching, despite the noise of chopping wood. Sure enough, a doe and her fawn crept by, and he watched until they disappeared behind some thick brush. It was the first moment of true peace he’d found in the last two days, and it was already gone.

  He sighed to himself and returned to his task, the hard labor the only source of relief he could find for his anger. He’d finally spoken to the woman again about the check from the auction, and she said the reason he hadn’t received his check was that the record of what he was owed was contradictory, with two different amounts in two different places.

  Enraged over that, he’d sent the receipts from the sales through the mail, which would probably take a week to get there, two or three days to process, and another week for the check to arrive. By then, he’d be under the gun to pay the mortgage again and just barely able to make it on his salary. He’d be lucky if the check arrived in time for him to pay utilities before they were shut off.

  And he still had to pay Garrett back.

  He
’d done the math, and Lucas knew he shouldn’t be this far behind. He shouldn’t be scraping together pennies like this. He just hoped that chopping the firewood and delivering it to the rest of the ranches on the mountain would earn him enough to refill the dwindling food supply in his fridge and cupboard.

  Another sound distracted him, and this time, it wasn’t anything in nature. In fact, Lucas knew that sound all too well and looked up to watch Garrett pull his old Ford Bronco into the driveway. Lucas kept at the chopping, figuring his friend could find his own way over. Christ, what was he going to say if Garrett asked about the money?

  Tipping his hat as he strode up, Garrett asked, “How many cords you cutting today?”

  “I already have three. There are six ranches up here. I’ll cut three more. I’ll have some, and I can deliver a cord to every other ranch.” At a rock bottom price of $100 a cord, that would get him ahead $500. “You guys have your wood already, I’m assuming.” He hadn’t included Garrett’s place in the count of ranches.

  “We do,” he nodded. “Listen, Lucas, I need to talk to you for a second. Something’s come up with the money I lent you.”

  Lucas closed his eyes and heaved a deep breath. “I know it was a lot to ask, Garrett, and I’ll have half of it to you when I get my salary on Tuesday. I’ll get you the other half when I finally get my check from the auction.”

  “You don’t really think I came to ask for my money, do you?” Garrett sounded angry, and a glance at him told Lucas he was offended. “I told you to take your time paying it back. I don’t want you struggling to get it back to me and end up losing your ranch.”

  A bit chagrined, Lucas rubbed his eyes. “Yeah, I guess you did. Sorry, bud, I’m just a little stressed right now.”

  “I think what I’ve got to tell you is going to take a lot of weight off your shoulders, if you’ll just shut up and listen.” Lucas stared at him, the harsh tone taking him by surprise. But Garrett actually wore a smile. “I came to tell you that circumstances have changed, and you have some sort of generous benefactor who is clearing up your financial problems.”

  Lucas scowled at him. “What the hell are you talking about, Garrett?”

  He reached into the inside pocket of his coat and pulled out an envelope, holding it out to Lucas. “This came to the sheriff’s office today by way of courier from the Treasure County Bank and Trust. I was going to call you, but I wanted to see your face, so I thought I’d deliver it to you in person.”

  Suspicious of his friend and whatever he held, Lucas hesitantly took the envelope and opened it. Inside was a note that read:

  Dear Mr. Lucas Graham,

  A deposit to an account in your name has been made by an anonymous donor. This benefactor states that the monies in this account are a gift to reflect the appreciation of an individual who is selfless, kind, and of morally sound character. While the benefactor does not wish to reveal his identity, he would like it to be known that you are never to feel obligated to return these funds, even should you discover who has made this deposit.

  We wish you the best, and we look forward to continuing business with you and your new account in the future!

  Charles Goresh

  Senior Director, Treasure County Bank and Trust

  There was another slip of paper inside the envelope, and Lucas pulled it out. When he read it, he nearly choked. It was an account statement, and it showed a balance of $2,982.37.

  “If this is some kind of joke, it’s not funny,” he warned Garrett. “I don’t like jokes.”

  But Garrett held his hands up in a show of surrender. “I have no idea who did it or why, but it’s real. Call the bank and ask them. I’m sure they’d be more than willing to talk to you, since it’s your name on the account.”

  Lucas did some quick math. His mortgage payment was just under $1600, and he owed Garrett $650. That meant he’d still have over $700 left, plus the check from the auction. And he still had his salary coming in and a couple of cattle going to the butcher next week. It was more money than he’d had available since he first decided to build this place. He should have been elated.

  Instead, he was furious.

  He had a good idea where the money might have come from, and while there were two possibilities, he didn’t like either one. “I need to figure out how to give this money back,” he stated plainly.

  Garrett stared at him like he’d just grown another head from his left shoulder, one with horns and a forked tongue. “Are you crazy, Lucas? It’s free money, bud. Why would you want to give it back?”

  “Because it’s not mine, and I don’t want charity.” He could feel his jaw muscle twitching.

  “It’s not charity, Lucas. Someone apparently really appreciates you. And it’s not Shakota or me,” he added hastily. “I assumed you’d pay back what you owe me from that, not because I need it but because I know you and your pride. You barely made yourself ask for help in the first place, and I know you were over here chopping this wood because you felt obligated to pay me back even if it meant you couldn’t make your next mortgage payment.”

  As much as he respected Garrett and knew the man had a good heart, Lucas hadn’t even considered this money as a gift from him and his wife. “I plan to pay you back, okay? But this money…” He trailed off. Could he really accept it, especially being certain of who had given it to him?

  “Lucas, for once in your life take advantage of generosity,” Garrett told him. “You’ve worked hard for everything you have here, and you’re right on the brink of something huge. This gift, whoever gave it to you, is going to throw you over that last hurdle. You’ll get some pigs, maybe some chickens, and you’ll have regular income from all that, aside from your meager salary. You’ll be able to use all that to build this place up and make a profit.”

  He had a point. Lucas could think of it as an investment, and somewhere down the line, repay the loan, whether the “benefactor” wanted it or not. Landing the axe on the stump, he pointed to the Bronco. “Fine. Since you’re blocking me in, and you have to go back down the mountain anyway…” He started walking, expecting Garrett to follow. “Give me a ride down, and I’ll get your money right now. It’ll make me feel a little better about keeping the damn deposit.”

  An hour later, Lucas sat in the sheriff’s office with Leland Maynard, the sheriff’s deputy in charge. Garrett had gone out to a property dispute, and Lucas hadn’t been ready to go back to the ranch just yet. He wanted to make some calls, so he was at Garrett’s desk, using the phone. He was trying to get a lead on the cost of some hens, as well as the supplies for a coup. It was the last thing he really wanted, the smell atrocious, but it was a good source of income.

  He was also going to check into sheep. Wool could be a hot commodity, especially here in the north where it was almost impossible to survive the winter without a fleece-lined coat. He was still debating on the pigs. Sure, they were good for a once or twice a year bulk payment, but they were smelly and weren’t a consistent market like wool, eggs, or poultry.

  He was also going to make his next mortgage payment. Obviously, it was early, but he didn’t want to accidentally spend that cash on something else and find himself in a bind again. He’d just hung up with a contact Garrett had for chickens, who was willing to make a really good deal with him, when the chime on the door sounded.

  Lucas didn’t really look up. The office was tiny, and Leland was closer to the door than he was, if not by much. But he heard some banging, and then there was a familiar female voice that caught his attention and made him freeze with the phone halfway to his ear. “Hey, Deputy, is the sheriff around?”

  Looking up, he confirmed his suspicion, staring at Gillian’s round rump between two crutches. He’d asked at the hospital and found out she had a small fracture but no permanent damage, and that had been a relief. Now, seeing her in a pair of jeans that hugged her curves and a fitted hoodie was everything but relieving, and he wished he could turn his attention away.

  Leland smile
d at her like he’d just been offered his favorite dish after a forty-day fast. “No, ma’am, he’s out on a call. Is there something I can do for you, though?”

  Lucas didn’t breathe, wondering what on earth she wanted with Garrett. She hedged, “I’m not sure. I know that the sheriff is really close to Lucas Graham, and I was just wondering if he happened to know how Mr. Graham was doing or where I could reach him.”

  Chapter 15

  Deputy Maynard wore a goofy grin and looked past Gillian as she asked the question. She felt like an idiot already, hobbling in here and asking questions as if she was some nosy reporter. That’s why she’d wanted to talk to Garrett. She didn’t think he would judge her for her inquiries.

  With a humorous tone she didn’t understand, the deputy said, “Well, I don’t know how he’s doing, but I’m sure I can help you find him, if you want to talk to him.”

  A little relieved, she asked, “Wonderful. Where is he?”

  The sound of a man clearing his throat behind her explained everything, and Gillian once again wished she was an ostrich. She certainly had the legs for it right now, with the crutches. Fearing the worst and not wanting to confirm it, she turned slowly, in tiny pivots of her good ankle. When she faced Lucas, she groaned inwardly, wishing she could just think and take in her surroundings completely before she opened her damn mouth and inserted her foot, boot and all.

  “How’re you, Miss Grayson?” His address was formal but glib. “I wasn’t expecting to see you again.”

  From the tone of his voice, he was serious. Lucas really hadn’t thought Gillian would seek him out again. She wasn’t sure if she’d planned to or not, but something in the back of her mind – and the way her body tensed and puckered at the sight of him – told her she would have. “Well, I at least wanted to thank you for your help, and to apologize again for the other night, one on one.”