by Mason, Jolie
“Don’t you use that tone with her!”, Marm cried swatting at his rear. “I decide who knows and who does not. I am dying. We are all dying, but my time is sooner. Soros syndrome.”
“Why wouldn’t you tell me?”
“I would have, but not while you were here to enjoy. Now, you must go again. Now is the time.”
Sorrow welled up in him. He knew there would be a day when Marm would be gone. Every child knows the day will come when the caregiver is the cared for, and then they are gone.
It just felt like too much to have come home for less than two days to find her dying. Soros syndrome might kill her before he got back with this damn war going, or the war could.
“Now, Ra-ra, your room is all we have. Take her up and put her to bed. She’s exhausted. There are two hammocks there.” Was that a knowing glance she sent him or had he imagined it?
Couldn’t have been. His marm was old-fashioned. She wouldn’t encourage a blending with a human, no matter how much she liked her. Would she? All the Sor were wary of human blending.
He watched his grandmother as she turned away humming. He wasn't so sure he felt as resistant as he had, perhaps this woman had changed his Marm's mind as well. Chipper, the old woman swayed in time to the tune she hummed, making him wonder just what plans she had hatching in that wise, old brain.
1
3
The small spiral branch staircase led up to what had obviously been a child’s room. Charmed, Nina looked around at the toys, carvings, and the hanging vines curtaining the tree outside the open window. She nodded at the tree.
“How often did you go out and play at night?”
He smiled a small smile. “Too often”, he answered.
“I thought so. You’re the type. Which hammock is yours?” She nodded her head to the two wide swinging nets. They both stretched the width of the narrow room on each side, while an open door frame exposed the jungle where the branch of the tree rested. A chest of drawers stood opposite the door.
“I don’t have a preference. One is the same as the other.”
Her eyes widened, as he spoke he stripped away his jacket and shirt leaving him exposed to her far too interested eyes. Sorian physiology was her specialty, but it had never affected her this way. Like all the men of his people, he was lean of build and toned. Sculptured muscles moving in perfect symmetry with each other. Probably because of their history of hard labor, she knew they burned more calories naturally with higher metabolisms. His skin, the color of leaves, made her hands curl to resist touching it, to see if it felt the way it looked. She watched as he removed a holster and pistol with graceful, practiced ease. Her mouth went dry.
He must have felt her attention, or perhaps he could read her mind. She hoped not. He turned those golden eyes on her as he put the pistol in a drawer. He crossed the small space to stand before her. “Nina?”
She drew her eyes away from his broad chest slowly, holding her hands tightly behind her back. It was all so fast These feelings she had were too fast. Nina wasn’t one for romantic urges. Why now? Why this man?
“You took your shirt off.”
Nina wanted to sink through the floor as the words tumbled free.
“It can get hot up here. You need something to wear? I forget you are not Sorian.”
He knew. Of course, he knew what she was thinking, feeling at this moment. It was written all over his face, as he stood there before her tracing over her with his eyes. So very aware of her every expression and gesture that she thought his gaze might leave a mark later.
“We could share the hammock”, he said wickedly, raising his eyebrows. He was teasing her. Of course, he was teasing her. She thought he might be trying to break the awkwardness of the moment. It didn’t work, because the only thing it accomplished was to make her visualize “sharing” the hammock, until her mind was completely incapable of higher thought.
“I’m not sure I’m the type to just share a hammock.”
He sobered. “Truly, Nina?” His hand curled around her chin.”I did not mean to insult you in any way. I thought it might make you feel more comfortable. I am a fool.”
Her hand rose in turn to ward him off or draw him closer. Would she ever know which? As soon as her hands settled on his chest, she found herself completely lost in his warmth and the hard muscles beneath her fingers.
“I'm not insulted. I'm warning you.” Her fingers curled into the smooth skin of his chest. She studied the texture and cool color of his shoulders, studied it so well she didn't notice how close she'd stepped to him.
She was very good at analyzing herself. The touch of the Sorians had seduced her from the first, and that had to be what this was. Even among friends, they used touch to communicate thoughts and affection, even with her to a degree. They were affectionate, embracing anyone they trusted. Nina had lived in a bubble with no one coming near her for so long because of who she was. She’d never even loved a man, not once, because the penalty would have been death for him. No one debauched a princess, even a defunct second daughter.
His hands had buried themselves in her hair without her realizing it, tugging gently so that he could look down from his greater height, forcing her to look at him.
“You don’t know who I am, Ra’dan”, she whispered. She felt his shiver beneath her hands as they moved of their own volition.
“Dr. Nina Quell, Lalel to the people. My star.” He whispered her names seductively.
She pushed him away, though he didn't move very far with one arm locked around her waist and one buried in her thick hair to his wrists. “Not just that. I’m sister to the crown. The empress is my only family. Aleria let me go, but she can demand me back at any time. Only a few of the Sor know who I really am. It’s probably why they want me to go.”
He stopped moving his hand hypnotically on her scalp. “Would she? Demand you back?”
“I don’t know, but she’s an empress. She can do whatever she wants with me. I can honestly say that the throne has changed her. I don’t know how much, but my sister would have returned my comms. The empress has not.”
She watched his face carefully. He let his gaze run over her, as if he was deciding something. Of course, it was a debate she'd lost before this. He calculated if intimacy was worth the price he might pay. She knew it could never be a good trade. A night with her for a man's life, potentially? Insanity. Finally, he said, “It might be worth it.”
Her jaw dropped at the statement, spoken with conviction. He sounded thoroughly tempted, not a sound she was used to hearing in reference to herself.
“How will we know?” She decided to ask him the question. “If it's worth it?”
His hand slid down her neck to her old-fashioned buttons. “We won’t, unless we try.”
“I am very tired of sleeping in my own hammock.” Her voice confessed the secret shamefully. “Ra’dan, what are we doing?”
“Whatever you like. Tell me”, he answered pulling her into his body.
She might not have another moment like this; alone with a man who fascinated her and who wanted her. Suddenly, she wanted this. More than anything she’d ever wanted. More than becoming a doctor. More than freedom. She wanted this one thing to remember later. She needed his touch like she needed food, air, water.
She circled her hand down over his left nipple drawing it tight. His breath caught under her hand, leaving her with a giddy taste of minor power.
Sorians were basically human, left here long ago to change and adapt. There weren’t any real physical impediments. They might not be able to make babies, but she and Ra’dan weren’t talking forever here, were they?
Nina looked around him at the hammock. “You have more experience with that thing. Will it work?”
He chuckled tightly. “We can make it work”, he said. His voice had an edge, like paper crumpling in a hand as her fingers lightly played down his abdomen stopping at the snug waistband of black uniform pants. They were clearly military gear; multiple pockets, no excess material,
low tech fastenings. Her hand fell to the snap and opened it.
His hand in her hair tightened almost to a pull, and, Gods, she loved it. She pushed at the fabric at his hips. He let go of her and shed the pants faster. Her shirt followed, and Nina fought the urge to hide her body from him. She suspected he wouldn’t allow it anyway.
His eyes began to glow in the darkness like a cat’s. The sun had completely set now, quick as a wink. Only a bright, close moon in the window brushed soft light across the floor. Ra’dan fell to his knees before her, his fingers brushing her own clothes away like cobwebs, until she stood in plain white underwear. His bright hands on her pale skin contrasted, almost clashed loudly. He touched everything he bared to the moonlight. He stared at every portion of her as if the secrets of the universe were there to find. She smiled down at him.
“Interesting?”
“Hmm”, he whispered against the soft skin of her abdomen. “Fascinating. You are so soft. Everywhere.”
“Not what you’re used to, huh?”
“Not exactly.” She gasped as his clever mouth ran along her hip bone, tasting. His tongue and his teeth brushed over her in sweet sensations. Maybe it was the moon above them, or it was the proximity of the jungle outside. It felt animal in a way, primitive, and his mouth made her body coil. One of his hands drifted up to toy with her heavy nipple. Her breasts were large, larger than average, so she’d expected a man of any kind would fall on them. This one studied them. His finger brushing softly back and forth until the nipple tightened. She leaned into his hand, but he didn’t do anything differently, didn’t heed her silent demand for more. He continued to play, but his eyes looked up at her face now. She made a small, strangled noise. She needed. Her hand caught his.
His long, tapered fingers lay strong beneath her own. She guided them down her stomach to her panties. His other hand glided down her back to cup her ass firmly, forcing her closer to his seeking mouth. His hand changed position, touching her through her underwear.
“Here?” There was amusement in his tone. “You want me here?”
She nodded vehemently. Yes, she wanted him there. She wanted things she’d never wanted. She wanted him pressed to her, on her. She wanted his weight keeping her still. She wanted his thrust into her body fast and hard.
He slid her underwear down, then they were gone and the cool breeze off the jungle blew against her. It was a hedonists dream come true, almost completely naked to the wind, exposed to the jungle outside the open balcony, this man touching her skin wantonly.
Her hands reached for him, pulling him up off his knees, because that’s not what she wanted. She looked him straight in the eyes. “How?” She asked firmly. He stood before her gloriously naked, a banquet to a starving woman. He must have seen the urgency in her eyes.
He backed up, taking her with him till he eased carefully into the hammock which was large and strung tight. He held the sides in place so she could join him, on her knees now. She straddled his body. She felt powerful, in control. He supported her weight, until she had her balance in the wide, soft netting. She couldn’t wait. Her whole being screamed now, now, now.
She ran her finger over the new center of the universe. It was hard and baby soft all at once, and so very large she wondered if this would be difficult. Never impossible. With a man like this beneath her, she could do anything, make anything happen. His hands moved everywhere but where she needed his touch the most. He was stretching this out, she realized. And, she wasn't going to put up with it.
She positioned him with her right hand and slid slowly down. Each delicious stretch of her body turned her inside out. The invasion was so welcome. There was a burn to the feeling, but mostly it was just warm, gliding wetness and the sensation of being filled, as if he’d always belonged right there. She’d been missing a piece. Her eyes met his. He wasn’t amused now, nor was he teasing her with his hands. He was holding himself back.
The hammock made it feel like they were floating as she gently raised her body up and down, riding him. It happened so quickly. One moment she floated to the surface of the pleasure with each stroke and the next he reached down and put his finger on her center, forcing her upwards faster. It was only a few moments, and her head flooded with the pleasure. It overwhelmed her senses. She almost cried out, forgetting this was his Marm’s home. He pulled her down to him quickly, swallowing the cry with his lips and tongue. He thrust hard into her settling wetness twice before grunting into her mouth himself. His hands gripped her impossibly hard as he came. She curled over him like a cat. Her head fell to his shoulder. Hands gripped the netting of the hammock to stop the spin of the world. It felt like floating in the water, all boneless limbs and serenity. Now, she understood the big deal. That was practically the equivalent of a spiritual pilgrimage. She pulled away to look at him.
She didn’t see what she expected. Ra’dan’s face wasn’t easy to see in the dark, but she got the impression he wasn’t happy by a long shot. She reached to trace his mouth and found a frown there.
“What’s wrong?” She raised up to ask the question.
“It wasn’t supposed to be like that”, he said.
“Oh,”, she said. “I’m sorry.” Disappointment replaced all that sensual contentment she’d been feeling, and she tried to back off the hammock away from him and the hint of humiliation she felt. Maybe, that’s why it was so quick. She’d done something wrong. He locked her in place, turned her to her back. She landed softly in the swinging hammock. The world took a moment to realign in the dark.
“That was more than sex. I thought this would be... different.”
She closed her eyes, feeling a bit cheap now that the words were just out there. “You thought it was just a try on. Give the human a whirl. See if it tasted different.”
“No!”, he said. “Not exactly. I’ve had humans. I thought it would be temporary. That didn’t feel temporary.”
She covered her eyes with her arm. “You’re not helping.”
“Do you know what will happen if I keep you? Can you imagine the hell that will be your life then? Have you been hunted, sold to the highest bidder? It would be worse for a human. You, they will kill for defiling yourself with one of our kind.” His words were not gentle. They were the opposite of that.
She’d opened her eyes, bright tears glimmered there without dropping. “Who are you trying to convince?” she asked quietly.
His hand pressed her cheek urgently. “No one must know. We must hide what we feel.”
She met him stare for stare. “What exactly do we feel, Ra’dan?”
Nina knew what she felt; she felt changed, like there was a moment before this one and a moment after, and Ra’dan was the difference. He had been something she wanted. Now, she feared he might be more.
Ra trailed a long hand over her brow, down between her eyes, and over her nose. “I am feeling... fear.” She watched his throat as he swallowed hard. “I will destroy you, and I only just found you.” The desolation in his words rocked her. He believed them beyond a doubt. He believed he could easily be her destruction. She didn't believe it for a second.
“I am feeling that I want never to let you leave, but, if this is love, I should make you leave, T’ista. I should get you back to your sister and leave you there in your palace where you can be safe.”
She ran her hands over his shoulders, twined their legs closer. Nina wrapped her body around his like a jungle vine, until her lips were beside his ear. Her heart pounded in her ears. He loved her, he thought. That’s what he found so very frightening, while she found it seductive, tempting.
“What if I don’t want to go? What then, tough guy?” She grazed him with her teeth, laughing lightly. He loved her. Suddenly, it was clear and far too fast. The certainty of the thought filled her as if she were feeling his emotions. It was crazy, insane, and she didn’t care. He loved her, and, somehow, she knew it.
He shivered again beneath her hands, making her laugh again. This time with pure joy. The power
was intoxicating. Ra’dan stood like a mountain on a horizon, strong and ageless. She could make him shake, rattle him to his very bones. She used her tongue and teeth along his jaw, tracing the long path to his dark, full lips. She felt him try to resist. He stayed very still when she licked at the seam of his mouth, very stiff. She bit his bottom lip lightly and giggled.
“You don’t get to choose, Ra’dan Sevarus, Captain.”
“I don’t?” She shook her head.
“Nope. I’m already half in love with you, so it’s pointless. I should tell you a story.” Her hands roamed his body, deliberately distracting with light sensual touches, but her voice sobered some. “It’s about a little girl. She grew up in a palace, surrounded by servants mostly, some slaves. Her sister would be queen, trained all the time for that day. All the time. She was always being taught something, to speak, to think or to rule, so there was no time for playmates or games. It was like it was all the princess was for. Their mother was this... shining thing they saw only from a distance. No one could touch her, and her father frightened her, even as the princess grew older and wiser. She never truly lost her fear of him, for he was not kind.”
“What did the little princess do?” He asked seriously.
She could feel his gaze on her face, but Nina got a little lost in the past, in the loneliness of that little girl trapped in the business of state and unable to just be a child. The story became her own again. “Everyone forgot me. When I grew, it was so easy to just do what I wanted, go where I wanted. No one noticed. I don’t mean to say no one loved me, Ra. I mean there were things that needed doing, and I could be there or not. It didn’t really matter.”
Ra’dan pressed a little closer into her side. “You decided to be a doctor.”
She nodded. “Touch”, she said raising a hand to the moonlight. “The laying on of hands. It’s an old Earth term. I don’t know where I heard it, but it fits. I grew up surrounded by people, and no one touched me for any reason other than to dress me like a doll. Healing someone. That’s something. That’s intimate, personal. People don’t forget that when you’re gone.”
