A Dad for Her Twins

by Lois Richer

  We have trouble all around us but we are not defeated.

  One by one, verses circled in his head, promises of love, promises to answer.

  Ask and you shall receive.

  I’m asking, God. I’m asking You to keep Abby safe, to help the doctors to deliver the babies safely, to forgive me for the mistakes I’ve made.

  A sense of calm slowly descended on Cade. Finally he opened his eyes. Two hours had passed and the doctor still hadn’t appeared. Fear threatened to overwhelm him once more. To control his urge to push through the doors so he could be at Abby’s side, he recited them again and again.

  And that’s when Cade truly understood why Abby mattered so much to him. She was everything good and right in his world. She made the future seem something wonderful instead of something he dreaded. He loved her so much he wanted the right to be with her always. He ached to tell her, to shower her with love so she’d never leave him.

  The wonder of that love dazed him. How, when had it happened? Cade didn’t know. He only understood that he loved her and that love was rooted deeply in his heart. He could no more stop loving Abby than he could stop loving his father, though Lord knew he’d tried.

  It was Abby’s presence that made the ranch home, Abby’s smile he wallowed in, Abby’s love he longed for. As soon as he saw her, he was going to tell her he loved her.

  A hand touched his shoulder.

  “Cade?” Doc Treple smiled at him. “Okay?”

  “Abby?”

  “She’s the proud mommy of two healthy sons. We wanted to make sure they were breathing well so it took us a little longer than expected.”

  Cade started to rise. “But Abby?” he demanded. “How is Abby?” His heart pinched until the doctor’s smile widened.

  “She’s coming out of the anesthetic but she’s a little loopy. We were in a hurry so we used a general anesthetic and she reacted more strongly than we expected.” His eyes sparkled with humor. “Take anything she says with a grain of salt.”

  “I can see her?” Cade asked.

  “Technically you’re not next of kin but I don’t know anyone that she respects more. You can see her in her room,” Doc Treple explained. “But maybe you’d like to see the twins first?”

  “Yeah, okay.” Cade gulped and followed the doctor toward the nursery. He’d never been around little kids and certainly not newborn babies. What if they needed something he couldn’t give? How could he protect them and Abby?

  “There they are, the two side by side in front.” Doc Treple beamed proudly. “Good looking kids, don’t you think?”

  Cade couldn’t answer. He was transfixed by two infants clothed only in diapers in a plastic box. They snoozed under a warm-looking light, one with dark brown hair so like Abby’s and one with the pale blond hair Max had sported.

  “I’ll see you later,” Doc Treple said. Cade didn’t respond, too busy soaking in the sight of the twins.

  “There are your kids, Max, buddy,” he whispered. “I hope you’re watching over them. They’re going to need that.”

  When the light-haired baby reached out a hand toward him, Cade froze. What was wrong? What did he need?

  That’s when he realized that despite his love for Abby, and now the same rush of love for her sons, he could never be a proper father to these tiny, helpless creatures. He wasn’t wise like Max, didn’t have the first idea of how a loving father raised a son.

  His heart shrank, closing down on the glory of love that had lit it mere moments ago. He could never tell Abby what she meant to him. It would only cause her pain when he had to leave town. No, Cade would continue with his plan, get the ranch sold so his father would get the care he needed, pay off their debts and then get Abby’s funding in place so she could make a home for her children.

  It was then that Cade realized that not only did he not have it in him to be a father, he wasn’t much use as a son, either, because the only way he knew to care for his dad was to find other people to do what Ed wouldn’t allow him to do.

  “Cade?” Ivor stood behind him, staring through the glass. Beside him, Ed also watched, a funny little smile tugging at his lips. Mrs. Swanson stood beside him. “Are those Abby’s babies?”

  “Yes.” A rush of pride suffused him. At least he’d helped her by giving her a temporary home. At least he’d cared for her as well as he could. I did that much, Max.

  “Can we see Abby?” Ivor asked.

  “Yes, but just one at a time,” Doc Treple said from behind them. “Come on, Cade. You go first.”

  The moment Cade entered the room, his eyes found Abby. He was pretty sure she was sleeping so he sat down by her bedside, content to wait. He scanned every detail of her face, love flowing through his body. How beautiful she was, even after grueling hours of labor and a major operation. He reached out and threaded his fingers with hers, anxious to feel the warmth of her skin on his. Her eyelids lifted slowly and she smiled.

  “Cade,” she breathed.

  “Congratulations, Abby,” he said as he squeezed her hand. “Two beautiful sons. Max would be so proud of you.”

  Her eyelids drooped and she seemed to drift back to sleep.

  Conscious of the others waiting outside to see her, Cade rose and with regret began to release her hand. Abby clutched his fingers.

  “Thank you, Cade,” she said drowsily. “I love you.”

  Cade froze. He stared at her, trying to discern her awareness. But a second later her lashes drifted down again.

  “Abby?” he whispered. Do you mean it? he wanted to ask.

  It was highly unlikely that this wonderful woman who’d charmed the entire town felt anything like love for him, Cade decided. His mind danced with possibilities as he imagined the joy of days, weeks, years in her company, watching the twins grow, sharing each moment of their lives if such a love were possible.

  He was jerked from his daydream by Doc Treple’s tap on the door.

  “I’ve got some very eager visitors out here,” he said.

  “Okay.” Cade gently placed her hand on the blanket. Abby didn’t stir. He left the room, his mind whirling. He decided to go to the chapel to pray but Doc Treple put a hand on his arm, stalling him. He drew Cade down the hall, his face serious.

  “I need to talk to you about Ed,” Doc Treple began. “As I’d already told you, he needs much more physiotherapy. If he was in the nursing home he’d get it because they have their own therapist.”

  “I’ve been trying to find a way to get Dad in there,” Cade explained.

  “Good.” Doc Treple frowned. “The therapist the health region brings from Calgary doesn’t come often enough for Ed’s needs. He needs more frequent, more intense sessions.”

  “I think I’ve got a buyer for the ranch,” Cade told him. “When that goes through, I’ll move Dad into the home.”

  “You think that’s what he wants?” the doctor asked in a dubious tone.

  “It’s the only way I know to help him.” And that was why there could never be anything between Abby and him, Cade realized. Because once he’d sold the ranch, he’d have nothing to offer her and the babies.

  “If that’s your choice, I believe the therapist in the home could certainly help him. In the meantime, I’ll keep searching for other options.” Doc Treple’s voice softened. “Ed can’t delay more intensive therapy much longer, Cade, or he’ll lose all chance of fully regaining his mobility. He should be able to move with the walker by now but his muscles just aren’t strong enough.”

  Cade thanked him, then sat in the waiting room. He’d prayed all he could right now and God hadn’t sent another option. Abby’s proclamation of love had been a spur-of-the-moment thing, caused by the anesthetics. Hadn’t Doc Treple told him she was speaking wildly? If she mentioned it, he’d pretend he hadn’t taken her seriously. Because he
couldn’t afford to do that.

  Cade began planning. As soon as he got home, he’d phone the military one last time. If he didn’t get a response he’d present the case to the news media. With newborn twins she’d have a perfect photo op. She’d get her money, build a home for the twins and leave the ranch. So would he.

  That was good, because knowing how deep his love for Abby reached, there was no way Cade could be so near her, see her every day and not give himself away. Then Abby would feel sorry for him and the last thing Cade wanted from her was pity.

  “We’re ready to go home now, Cade.” Ivor stood in front of him, his face quizzical. “Were you sleeping?”

  “No.” Cade rose, pulled on his jacket. “How did you get here?”

  “Pastor Don stopped by to talk to Abby.” Ivor patted Ed’s shoulder. “Mrs. Swanson got home just in time to come with us. Pastor Don has a van, so the wheelchair was no problem for him.”

  He should be able to move with the walker by now but his muscles just aren’t strong enough. The doctor’s words haunted Cade as he looked at his dad hunched over in his wheelchair. He’d call the buyer back as soon as he got home.

  There was no other way, or surely God would have shown it to him.

  * * *

  Abby had been back on the ranch for a week after spending that much time in hospital. She loved being back here, watching spring creep over the land, inhaling the vitality of new life all around. The twins were a delight but they still hadn’t figured out day from night so, as usual, she paced the floor with Eric while Adam slept in the cradle she’d found in her room when she arrived home. Eric was named for her father, Adam for Max’s father. She felt a little sad knowing neither would ever see their grandchild.

  “Sleep now, honey,” she murmured, patting Eric’s tiny back as she paced her room, which was packed with baby-shower gifts.

  She was tired and still in pain after the surgery. If only she could sleep for a few hours, regain her energy. Eric let out another mewling cry. Afraid he’d wake Adam, she left her room and went to the kitchen, which she hoped was far enough from the other rooms that they wouldn’t disturb anyone. She set the baby monitor on the countertop so she’d hear if Adam awoke.

  Feeding Eric didn’t work. Neither did cuddling him. In fact nothing seemed to help. Abby felt the sting of tears. What was she doing wrong?

  “Problems?” Cade stood in the kitchen doorway, his red T-shirt bright in the moon’s full glow through the patio door.

  “He’s restless.” Abby jiggled Eric as love for this man filled her.

  Feelings for Cade welled inside. She cared for him so much but she didn’t know what to do with that. As days passed and those feelings didn’t diminish, Abby had continued to pray for guidance. Struggling to meet the twins’ needs, she’d finally handed the problem to God, asking Him to show her what to do about her feelings.

  Her feelings hadn’t changed, but living in such close quarters with Cade, seeing him every day and trying to maintain the facade of mere friendship when her heart ached for so much more was difficult. Sometimes she felt she’d betrayed Max by falling in love with Cade, but she’d given that to God, too.

  “Whatever you’re doing isn’t helping.” Cade held out his arms. “You’d better let me try.”

  “No, you need your sleep. You have work to do. I’ll handle him.” Abby sat down carefully, trying to smother a huge yawn while wincing at the pain of her healing midsection.

  “You’re dead on your feet and you haven’t slept through the night since you’ve come home,” Cade said, lifting the baby from her arms. “You’ve got to get some rest. Go to bed, Abby. Sleep. I’ll watch Eric.”

  Abby was going to protest, until she noticed his face. This was the first time she’d seen Cade hold her child. He’d always seemed to be busy with something else. But now as he cradled Eric, she saw his face soften, his blue eyes grow tender as they stared into the face of her son. Eric had stopped crying and was now returning Cade’s look. A moment later a smile tipped the baby’s pink lips.

  “See,” Cade crowed, grinning at her. “He likes me.”

  “It’s probably gas,” she told him, stupidly irritated that her baby had chosen to give his first smile to Cade and knowing that reaction was because of tiredness.

  “Jealous, Abby?” Cade touched her cheek, flicking away the lone tear that dribbled down. “You’re not usually this emotional.” His fingers grazed her chin and held it so she had to look at him. “You’re tired,” he said, his voice low, compelling. “Go and rest. I’ll call you if I need to.”

  His voice, those blue eyes—both coaxed her to give in. She wanted to sleep so badly. “Okay,” she said at last. “Thank you, Cade.”

  “My pleasure,” he said, ducking his head as he always did to deflect thanks.

  Abby let her eyes feast on him for a moment, loving every line around his eyes, the hard jut of his cheekbones, the way his short, dark hair lay ruffled against his scalp. How she adored this man.

  Finally, she turned and left the room.

  Oh, Lord, please let Cade love me, she whispered as her head hit the pillow.

  * * *

  Cade sat through the night holding Eric, inhaling the delicate baby-powder scent, marveling at the perfection of two tiny hands and feet.

  “Poor thing, you’ve got your father’s nose,” he murmured when Eric blinked awake to return his stare. But it wasn’t Max that Cade was thinking of. It was Abby. Beautiful Abby who’d suffered so much to give life to Eric and his brother.

  “I love your mother,” he said to the baby. The relief of saying it aloud made him say it again. “I can’t stand the thought of letting her go, or you or your brother. You belong here. This is your home.”

  Eric didn’t make a sound. He just kept watching Cade.

  “This is a good place to live for a boy. You could learn to ride a horse. That’s fun.”

  Eric cooed.

  “There are hills and valleys to explore. There’s the creek to swim in when it gets hot. There’s even a little log cabin where you could have sleepovers when you’re older, if your mom will allow it.”

  Eric sighed and closed his eyes. Cade did, too. He let himself dream of halcyon days with Abby at his side, watching the twins grow and change.

  The Christian life is all about trust. Trusting God when it seems nothing’s going right. Jake’s words from their last Bible study filled his mind. The Bible says that with faith all things are possible.

  “Is it possible that You want us to be together?” he asked hesitantly. “Is it possible that Abby and I could have a future?”

  Trust.

  How would he know until he opened his heart to Abby? She trusted God. She had faith. Together they could pray. After all, she’d said she loved him.

  Trust.

  Eric shifted in his arms, opened his mouth and let out a tiny sound that pierced straight to Cade’s heart. How could he let this precious child go, never see him again, never be there if he was needed?

  “I can’t.” He made up his mind. “I will trust You to work it out. I’m going to tell Abby I love her. Your will be done.”

  The decision brought Cade great peace. He wasn’t the least tired as morning dawned and the sun peeked over the rims of the distant mountains. God had handled the adoption agency, bringing forward people to take over while Abby was busy with the babies. Things were progressing in spite of the fact that Cade had also been absent a lot as he prepared the ranch for sale.

  God could handle the future. All Cade needed to do was trust.

  Two hours later his cell phone rang, wakening him and Eric. The buyer wanted to proceed with purchasing the ranch.

  Cade inhaled as the knowledge punched through to his heart. God didn’t want a future for him with Abby. Or if He did, it was far different
than Cade had hoped.

  Very well. If God wanted him to sell, Cade would do that. And while he did, he’d try to trust and wait for God to show him the next step.

  Chapter Fourteen

  “Hasn’t Ivor changed since he first arrived?” Abby said to Ed. “Look at him with his friends, running and laughing. I’ve never heard him so boisterous. It’s good to see.”

  She rose from the bench next to his chair to ensure the twins were still sleeping in the stroller she’d purchased with Ed’s birthday-money gift. Cade’s nightly interventions had made a huge difference in her energy level.

  “The Double L seems to have changed all of us,” she said. “It’s a beautiful place, especially in the spring.”

  “My home,” Ed managed, his grin wide. After a moment it faded. “For now.”

  “Your speech is so improved. Good for you for working so hard on it.” She patted his knee, then allowed her hand to envelop his when he grasped it.

  “B-but my legs not good.” Ed’s troubled gaze moved to where Cade was unloading hay bales. “That’s why he’s selling.”

  “He loves you, Ed. He’s trying to do his best for you.” Abby ached to find a way to reunite father and son but so far all she’d been able to do was listen to both sides. “The doctor says you need more intense physio—”

  “Doesn’t matter,” Ed interrupted, his face grim. “R-ranch more important.”

  “Cade thinks you’re more important.” She studied the old man’s weathered face as he watched his son. Love, pride—they filled that blue-eyed gaze that was so like Cade’s. “You love him, don’t you, Ed?”

  “Much,” he said, his gray head nodding. “C-couldn’t tell him.”

  “Why not? He needed to hear it so badly.” Still does, Abby thought, but she didn’t say it, too intent on finally learning what had created this awful barrier between father and son.

  “Loved her but God took her,” Ed blurted, his forehead perspiring with the effort of speaking so much. “If loved him too much,” he said, inclining his head in Cade’s direction, “God take, too.”