Silver and Gold

by Devon Rhodes

  Abe’s expression changed as Geoff’s did, with a brief hint of something—hurt?—crossing his face, and suddenly laying flush on top of the man didn’t feel as natural. Geoff withdrew carefully, pushed himself up off Abe and wrapped the spent condom in a couple of tissues. At a sudden loss for what to do with himself, he reached to pick up his discarded clothing.

  Apparently Abe took that as a hint, and he got up and crossed to the en suite bathroom. “Do you need a shower before dinner?” he asked Geoff tonelessly from the door, and Geoff frowned, trying to figure out how things had changed in such a hurry.

  “Yeah, but I can take one in my office if you’d rather.”

  “Fine,” Abe responded quickly. “I need a half-hour to light the menorah anyway before we go. Why don’t you go get cleaned up and meet me at the restaurant at eight?” He turned and entered the bathroom, shutting the door behind him with a decisive click.

  What the hell? Geoff was baffled and starting to get a little pissed off. Fine. He pulled on his rumpled clothing, hoping like hell he wouldn’t run into anyone he knew between here and the office. Walking into the living room to retrieve his footwear, he finally had a chance to look around the large, window-lined great room and had to smile at the juxtaposition of the beautiful silver menorah on the sideboard and the enormous Christmas tree in the corner.

  Feeling a little bit lighter at the thought that Abe still wanted to go to dinner with him, Geoff made sure he had everything and walked out into the elevator lobby. He rode down to his office level, and walked quickly to his office, letting himself in with a breath of relief.

  As he cleaned up and dressed in fresh clothes, he pondered the change in moods at the end of their hot encounter. He had been out of the dating game for so long that he was rusty, and he was sure things had changed in a couple of decades. Okay, obviously joking around right afterward is out. He wondered what other faux pas he was going to make. It was a good thing he was getting a little practice in now before he saw Jesse.

  Chapter Five

  Abe listened to make sure Geoff was gone before he stepped into the shower. He felt sated and sprung and thoroughly disappointed. Not by the sex. Hell, no. That had to be the hottest, most intense hour ever spent romping on a bed. And Abe had thought that he and Geoff made a real connection. Then suddenly Geoff had reverted to a casual pickup persona with his “was it good for you” tease. Abe had been basking in the tender and happy expression on Geoff’s face before that remark and was shocked at how upset he was by its withdrawal.

  Probably remembered Jesse just then, and you would do good to remember him too. Geoff’s heart isn’t yours for the taking, so don’t get attached, dumbass.

  Abe got ready for his date, and then went into the living room to light the menorah. He lit the four candles and whispered the blessing, but his heart wasn’t in it. He was just going through the motions.

  Like I don’t have enough to think about, now I have guilt.

  Ah, but I do guilt so well!

  That thought made Abe laugh out loud as his usual sunny disposition reasserted itself. One of the hallmarks of his past relationships was a tendency to feel like anything that went wrong was his own fault. Made for a lot of drama, both during and afterward. It was just recently, when he found out that Tyler was moving away without any regrets for leaving Abe behind, that he realized sometimes things just were. It wasn’t Abe’s fault that Ty wasn’t in love with him, and it wasn’t Tyler’s fault that he wanted something different. It just was. Nobody’s fault, just fact.

  Abe let out a relieved breath. This was just another example. Yes, the two of them had burned up the sheets, but Geoff already had someone else in mind, if not yet in reality. The fact was that Geoff was preoccupied by his former love before he and Abe met. And it wasn’t surprising that hearing from this Jesse guy would make Geoff wonder “what if?” and “maybe now?”

  Abe just needed to remember to keep it casual, taking his lead from Geoff and just having fun with it. No more imagining some emotional connection just because they were smoking hot in bed together. Just because every conversation they had seemed completely natural didn’t mean that they would get along permanently.

  No more thinking that he’s the sweetest, sexiest, most complete package to get thrown your way in… oh, your whole life?

  Shut up, you’re going to be late for dinner.

  * * *

  Abe smacked himself on the forehead with the palm of his hand. Could you get any more pathetic, you twit?

  For the past three days, he had spent nearly every non-working moment with Geoff. Even now, just the thought of him was enough to make him melt into a puddle of goo. You are so whipped. And he doesn’t even know you’re alive. Well, maybe that wasn’t quite accurate. Geoff knew he was alive; he just refused to see the forest for the trees, so intent was he upon his lame-ass first boyfriend. Abe was just an available fuck in the meantime.

  Available? That’s one way of putting it, you slut. “Oh, shut up,” Abe muttered to himself, drawing a startled look from the vendor he was signing off on a delivery from. “Sorry,” he spoke up. “Here you go.” He tipped his usual friendly smile at the man before turning around and keeping it pasted to his face as he worked his way to his office at the back of the salon.

  They were both leaving on Friday, tomorrow, Geoff to his hometown and the blast from his past, and Abe to drive to his parents’ home for the weekend to celebrate the Hanukkah Sabbath with his dad and an early Christmas with his mom.

  This was the last night they were going to be together, Abe knew, and the realization hit him like a ton of bricks. His heart was dying a little as he admitted the truth at last. He had fallen in love. Him! What a joke.

  Abe had skipped unscathed through relationships all his adult life, only to be brought low in three short days by a sweet, conflicted, misguided man who had no idea how damn hot he was, who thought of Abe as a casual fling, who was fixated on a faulty memory, and who thought he was heading off to ride into the sunset with said memory, possibly getting his own heart broken in the process. And Abe couldn’t do a damn thing to stop it.

  What a cock-up! Abe thought as he viscously sent a pile of paperwork flying and fluttering to floor of his office. Crap. He knelt and started to half-heartedly straighten the papers before stopping, his insides churning, tears welling in his eyes. He dropped to sit, leaning back against the desk as he battled in vain the alien emotions roiling within him.

  Abe sat that way on the floor of his office for what seemed like hours. His eyes were red and tender and his ass was sore from sitting by the time he was motivated enough to stand, disregarding the mess he had made, deciding to call it a day instead. He walked out through the salon, ignoring everyone except his assistant, Lula, who he knew wouldn’t let herself be ignored.

  “I’m heading home. Can you lock up tonight?”

  Lula looked concerned, “Are you okay? Did you get some bad news?”

  This whole week has been bad news. “No, nothing like that. I just don’t feel well.”

  “Awww, you poor thing.” She patted his arm. “You just go on home. I’ll take care of everything. Okay?”

  Abe gave her a weak smile. “Thanks, Lu.” He walked across the atrium, heading to his condo on autopilot, completely tuning out everything around him. He felt as if he were in a dream.

  Walking in, he crossed to flop on the couch, groaning at the memory of all he and Geoff had done on the couch. Shit, the whole apartment seemed to smell like Geoff, like he had saturated the space with his presence.

  Unable to face his bed, he went instead into the guest room and lay down, pressing the heels of his hands to his leaking eyes. One more night. His throat clogged at the thought, and he let the tears flow freely at last. I don’t know if I can bear it.

  * * *

  You need to calm down, Geoff scolded himself. He was riding an extreme high after three amazing nights of constant inventive and satisfying sex with Abe, and he was only two day
s away from seeing Jesse again.

  Geoff forced himself to concentrate on the document in front of him, stretching a half-hour later as he wrapped up his work for the day. He glanced at the clock, and a little frown crossed his brow as he realized he hadn’t heard from Abe yet today. He probably just got too busy to call. Geoff pulled out his phone and dialed the now-familiar number, frowning again when it went right to voicemail. He shrugged and hung up. Abe was probably on his way; he usually came by at six after he closed up.

  Kim entered with the usual end-of-day paperwork. “Here you go. Is Abe feeling any better?”

  Geoff felt a jolt and stared at Kim. “What do you mean?”

  “Lula called to chat and mentioned that he’d gone home sick in the middle of the day.” Kim began to look concerned. “You mean you haven’t talked to him today?” She pulled out her phone.

  “Hey, I was busy. I thought he was busy too. Sick? Like, what kind of sick?”

  Kim shot him a dirty look as she dialed. “Does it matter? Voice mail.” She listened for a moment. “Hey, it’s Kim. I heard you’re not feeling well, and just wanted to see if you need anything. Hope you feel better.” Kim glared at Geoff as she finished leaving her message. He glared back, not sure what he had done to deserve this kind of treatment.

  A light tap on the door had them both straightening their expressions. “Abe!” they chorused, Kim hurrying to his side. “Oh babe, you look like crap. Are you okay?”

  Abe smiled wanly. “Thanks for the vote of confidence. I’m sure I look like hammered crap, not just plain crap.” Abe looked from Kim to the desk, avoiding Geoff’s eyes. “Are you ready to go?” His eyes were red and puffy, his face pale and without his usual sunny smile. Geoff felt a tug deep within.

  “Yeah, but are you sure you’re up for anything? We don’t have to do anything tonight if you’re not feeling well.” He watched as Abe grew even more pale, if that was possible. The other man’s hands were shaking. What the hell?

  Geoff came out from behind his desk and placed a hand on Abe’s lower back, turning the unresisting man toward the door. “Let’s get you back upstairs. Kim, can you close up the office?”

  “Sure,” she responded, watching the pair closely with narrowed eyes. “Abe, call me if you need me.” Something deeper than sympathy colored her tone, and Geoff felt as if he was missing something.

  Abe gave her a rueful smile as they headed to the elevators. Abe accepted Geoff’s touch on the way upstairs, but Geoff missed the way Abe typically snuggled up to him, constantly petting him. The poor guy must really be feeling ill.

  Arriving at Abe’s apartment, Abe opened the door and took Geoff by the hand to lead him inside. Geoff hesitated. “Are you sure you want me to come in?”

  Abe stroked a hand down his evening-rough cheek. “Yes. It’s just a headache, nothing contagious. I thought we could order from the café upstairs and then spend a quiet evening in.” He walked ahead of Geoff into the apartment, and Geoff closed the door, relieved that Abe wasn’t truly sick. “Here’s the takeout menu. Let’s figure out what we want and I’ll run upstairs to pick it up.”

  They made their selections and phoned the order in, relaxing on the loveseat in front of the windows, enjoying the view until time came to retrieve their dinner.

  “Are you sure you don’t want me to go?” Geoff offered, still a little concerned by this drawn, quiet Abe.

  “I’m sure. I won’t be long.”

  He watched as the door closed behind Abe, and turned back to the window view. He smiled to himself as he thought about the past week. He really liked Abe. It was too bad they weren’t closer in age. He had told Geoff the other night as they snuggled together in bed that he had never been in a serious relationship before. Probably trying to warn me. Nice of him, actually. Because he could see himself falling for Abe, and it was taking a huge effort on his part to keep their contact casual.

  He got up and paced around the room, stopping in front of the Christmas tree. Noticing a medium-sized gift with his name on the tag, feeling like a little kid, he glanced behind him then picked it up, giving it a shake. Not very heavy, there was no noise to give away the contents. He rolled his eyes at himself and placed it back under the tree, feeling guilty now. He should have really gotten Abe something.

  Geoff’s mind then turned to Jesse, who he also still needed to shop for, and he felt the familiar achy feeling from his youth that he had locked away all these years. Two days. Maybe he should give Jess a call and make firm plans. Geoff hadn’t heard from him since the missed call on Monday, but then again, he had told Jesse last Friday that he would call him at the end of the week. Close enough.

  He flipped through his contacts until he reached Jesse’s number and hit enter. His heart thrummed nervously as he waited for Jesse to answer.

  “Hi, Geoff?”

  Caller ID, wasn’t it great? “Hey Jess.” He took a breath. “How was your week?”

  “Busy. Always gets that way right before a vacation. How about yours? Anything exciting?”

  Caught a little off guard by the question, knowing that he should just say “fine” and move on, he instead found himself responding, “I, uh, met a guy.”

  Silence for a moment. “Oh.” There was a wealth of meaning in that softly uttered syllable.

  Geoff had to fill the silence. “Nothing serious. He’s pretty young.” He had started off by thinking of Abe, but suddenly not wanting to discuss him with Jesse, found himself switching to describing Troy instead. “We, ah, pretty much just fell into bed together. But it’s nothing that’s going to go anywhere.”

  “Damn it, it was less than a week ’til me, Geoff.” Jesse’s voice was low, with a strain of emotion in it.

  Geoff sighed, “I know. I should have waited. I guess I just wanted to, uh, practice. It’s been a long time. I, ah… I didn’t want you to be disappointed. Fuck. It sounds pretty bad when I say it out loud.”

  Jesse chuckled a little. “Don’t worry, G-man. It’s okay. I can understand being a little pent up.” He paused, asking humorously, “So just how young is young?”

  Geoff laughed in response. “Oh, twenties, I’d say. Didn’t really come up in conversation, you know. Busy with other things.”

  That provoked another laugh, then Jesse asked, “So when do you get in?”

  “Tomorrow night. I’ll be staying at my parents’ house. And you get in Saturday?”

  “Yeah, mid-afternoon, so I’ll probably go straight to the hotel to check in and get settled. Do you want to meet at The Ridgeway at around five for happy hour?”

  “Happy hour sounds great. It’s a date.” Geoff teased.

  “Okay, G-man, see you then. I… can’t wait to see you.”

  “Can’t wait to see you either, Jess. Bye.” He hung up the phone, holding it to his chest like some awestruck teenybopper. Just the thought of what was to come was enough to send a shiver through him. Jesse Sullivan after all these years. He thought again about his grey hair, wondering if he could convince Abe to fix it tomorrow. As if the thought conjured the man, he heard the click of the door closing and turned around.

  “Hey you,” he greeted, noticing a heartbeat later that Abe really looked ill. “Oh man, I told you I should have gone for you. Here,” he strode to Abe’s side and took the food from him. “Why don’t I dish up?”

  “Uh, you know, I’m really not all that hungry anymore. I think I’ll just go to bed early.” Abe rubbed his eyes as if his head ached, which it probably did, poor guy. And here Geoff was making him entertain.

  “That’s probably a good idea, Abe. Do you need anything before I take off?”

  Abe finally looked him in the eye, and the pain in his gaze hit Geoff like a physical blow. He reached out to touch his hair, but Abe flinched away, so he lowered his hand without making contact.

  “I’ll be fine, Geoff. If I don’t see you… have a good trip.”

  “You too. Drive safe, okay?”

  Abe nodded, dropping to the couch and s
taring at the Christmas tree as Geoff walked to the door. “Merry Christmas, Geoff,” came softly to his ears.

  He looked back at Abe, bothered for some reason he couldn’t quite pinpoint. “Merry Christmas, Abe. And Happy Hanukkah.”

  Abe nodded but didn’t respond. Geoff blew out a breath, then crossed the room in four big strides, pulled Abe against him, and kissed him gently but thoroughly. At the touch of their lips, he felt Abe tense all over, as if he would pull away. But then he looped an arm around Geoff’s neck and kissed him back with fervor, melting against him.

  Geoff pulled back, feeling their lips separate so slowly that each minute bit of flesh seemed to cling in its own embrace. Abe’s eyes had fluttered closed, and Geoff kissed each reddened eyelid in turn, wished he could take the pain away.

  “Goodbye, Geoff,” Abe whispered, and as the finality in his voice penetrated, Geoff stared at Abe intently until he opened his eyes.

  “I’ll see you in a little over a week, okay?”

  Abe smiled slightly, and he gave a single short nod.

  “Bye,” Geoff brushed another light kiss across Abe’s forehead as he straightened.

  * * *

  Abe lay back against the couch as Geoff finally left. As soon as the door clicked behind Geoff, Abe broke into great, racking sobs, curling onto his side as he let out all the unbelievable anger and pain at the overheard conversation.

  At first when he came in, he thought that Geoff was still just enjoying the view out the window. Then he heard Geoff say, “Hey, Jess. How was your week?”

  He had caught the door before it slammed, knowing that he should make his presence known, but needing to hear.

  “I, uh, met a guy.”

  Abe had straightened. He hadn’t expected Geoff to admit that he’d been seeing someone. A little bubble of hope welled up. Maybe he was going to tell Jesse that they shouldn’t get together. That hope had been crushed by Geoff’s next words.

  “Nothing serious. He’s pretty young. We, ah, pretty much just fell into bed together. But it’s nothing that’s going to go anywhere.”