Downbeat

by Jodie Larson

  Downbeat

  Copyright © 2018 by Jodie Larson

  Cover Design by Murphy Rae at Indie Solutions by Murphy Rae

  www.murphyrae.net

  Interior Design by Champagne Book Design

  www.champagnebookdesign.com

  Editing by Gray Ink—Ellie McLove

  www.grayinkonline.com

  Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of the above author of this book.

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, brands, media, and incident are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.

  The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of various products referenced in this work of fiction, which have been used without permission. The publication/use of these trademarks is not authorized, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owners.

  Table of Contents

  Title Page

  Copyright

  Dedication

  Prologue

  One

  Two

  Three

  Four

  Five

  Six

  Seven

  Eight

  Nine

  Ten

  Eleven

  Twelve

  Thirteen

  Fourteen

  Fifteen

  Sixteen

  Seventeen

  Eighteen

  Nineteen

  Twenty

  Twenty-One

  Twenty-Two

  Epilogue

  Acknowledgements

  About the Author

  Other books written by Jodie Larson

  To Andrea and Stacy,

  Ding, ding.

  And….go!

  The lights swirl around, casting the screaming crowd in shades of red and green. We were lucky enough to be invited to this special Christmas concert, thanks in part to the hard work of Don, our manager, and his connections through our label. Thousands of fans chant our name, singing along to our songs as we pour our hearts and souls into the music. It’s what we’ve been working for since we were kids. Kade, Myles, Brecken, and I…we’re like brothers. Growing up together, playing music in Kade’s garage until his dad kicked us out, we were as close as anyone could be. This is our dream; living life on stage, traveling the country, all of it.

  When the lights go down, we file off the stage, the crowd refusing to leave. Adrienne, Kade’s wife, is the first to greet us.

  “Amazing concert. You guys nailed this one.”

  Tatum, Myles’ wife, jumps right into his waiting arms. “Seriously killed it. I’m so proud of you.”

  Breck scoops Lizzie, his girlfriend, into his arms and kisses her passionately. Myles grunts, obviously still trying to come to terms with their relationship.

  “You guys never told me it was this crazy.” Lizzie turns and smacks her brother in the shoulder. “Ass. Thanks for never inviting me.”

  Myles rubs the abused spot. “Like I wanted you anywhere near this horndog.” He nods in Breck’s direction.

  “Yeah, that seemed to work,” I say with a snicker, earning me a middle finger—Myles’ other favorite body part. “Who wants to head out for some after-concert fun?”

  All six assholes look to each other, sporting similar mischievous grins.

  “Actually, we’re gonna take our party home,” Kade says, wrapping his arms around Adrienne.

  “Come on. Your parents are here and watching Lyric. Don’t you want to take advantage of the alone time?”

  “That’s the plan,” he says. “Just because we’re at home doesn’t mean we’ll be in the house. Plenty of other places to have fun.” Adrienne turns redder than a tomato as she ducks her head into the crook of his neck.

  “If you have sex in that new recording studio, for the love of God, please don’t tell us about it,” Myles says. “Oh, and make sure it doesn’t reek of sex, either.”

  Kade smirks and practically picks up Adrienne as they race down the hall. Probably at her request. She’s not one to be in the spotlight, nor is Myles her favorite person. Tatum hugs Myles in an effort to control him. He’s less likely to be an asshole if she’s in his arms.

  “Take me home,” she says against his lips. They follow Kade and Adrienne’s footsteps and high tail it out of there before anyone can ask them to stay.

  Leaving me as the third-wheel to Brecken and Lizzie once again. Same old story. Though with all of us living together, it’s easier to commute, except on nights like this. I know damn well what they want to do and I don’t want to be anywhere near it.

  Lizzie looks to Breck, the same sympathetic smile I’ve come to understand. They want to toss me a bone, but only because they feel they need to.

  “Uh, what were you thinking?” she timidly asks.

  I wave her off. “It’s fine. You two go home. I’ll catch up with you in a bit.”

  Brecken frowns. “No, really, where are we going?”

  “You two go home. I’ll hit up the usual place. If you want to come out, that’s fine. If not, I’m good with that, too.”

  The last thing I want to do is make them come out due to obligation. I’m single, they’re not. I let them ponder it as I walk toward the exit, finding my bike parked in the VIP area and taking off.

  Everyone else has their happy ever afters. Not sure when I’ll find mine.

  Change.

  It’s everywhere. And unavoidable.

  The last few years of my life have been nothing but change.

  Dream career. New city. Traveling to more places than I ever imagined visiting.

  All my friends are finding their life partners while I sit here and watch from the outside.

  Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for them. Every single one of them deserves happiness in their life. They went through a lot to get them; except Kade. All he had to do was perform on stage and, somehow, he managed to snag the best-looking girl in the crowd. Per usual. It’s hard to compete against the lead singer. He’s the first person you see on stage, the one drawing the crowd.

  The drummer? Not always noticed. Hell, even if I didn’t have a massive instrument blocking me, the three jokers in front would steal the show. I’m buried at the back, almost completely in darkness.

  It’s almost like life imitates art.

  Wait. It does.

  It never used to bother me that I was the odd one out. Kade always had girls flocked around him. Myles had Tatum, and Brecken was trying his damnedest to hide his true feelings for Myles’ little sister. Horribly. Thank God Myles was, and still is, oblivious to almost everything.

  Now, sitting here on the couch with my headphones on, blasting the music up as high as it’ll go, I realize how alone I really am. Normally, Brecken and I would be doing something on our downtime. Darts or pool or hanging out at the bar a few blocks over. Instead, he’s out with Lizzie, showing her his favorite parts of our neighborhood; which means they’re at the beach making out.

  When Lizzie first moved in, things were awkward. It took a lot of getting used to having a girl around all the time. So many hair products. And makeup. And brushes. Jesus, she only has one head. Not to mention the whole house smells like some sort of flowers or perfume all the time. After a while, I got used to the new smells and knew when to use the bathroom to avoid any delays in getting ready.

  And I thought Myles was bad. Lizzie takes twice as long as he does getting ready.

  But Brecken’s happiness is worth it. He’s my brother, my oldest friend. I’d do anything to make him happy. Hell,
I’d do anything for any one of them if they’d ask. Another reason why I feared coming back. I didn’t want to lose my roommate. We’ve had a routine for years and I didn’t want to disrupt it.

  I twirl the drumstick between my fingers, bobbing my head as the song switches to “Pretender” from the Foo Fighters. Yes. Dave Grohl is my hero; going from the drummer of Nirvana to lead singer of the Foo. I’ve followed his career for as long as I can remember. He’s what turned me on to the drums. I wanted to be as good as him, though I knew I never would be. No one will ever be as good as him.

  I play along, beating the sticks in the air against the imaginary drum set in front of me. Closing my eyes, I retreat to my happy place. As crazy as it sounds, playing on stage relaxes me, grounds me, puts me at ease. There’s a steady beat; a constant, unwavering pulse that slides through my body each time I grip the sticks in my hands. It’s the one thing I can control in my life. I decide how fast or slow, gentle or hard. I set the tone.

  The song switches again, but I keep my eyes closed, still playing the drums until someone pushes my shoulder. I spring my eyes open and laugh as Lizzie looks at me with a smile.

  “Lost in the music? Geez, I could almost hear it out the door.”

  Pulling the headphones off, I let them hang around my neck and place the sticks on the table next to me. “It wasn’t that loud.”

  Brecken takes a seat in the chair next to me. “It kinda was.”

  “Whatever.” Lizzie sits on Brecken’s lap; a sight I’ve grown accustomed to over the last few weeks. “How was the beach?”

  Lizzie blushes. “Good. Lots of people, but I’ll never get tired of staring at the ocean. It just goes on forever.”

  “Well, no. Sooner or later, you’d hit an island. Or China.”

  “Pretty sure you’d hit Japan first,” she counters.

  “Which is an island,” I say with a smirk. “And it matters which direction you’re going. Maybe you’d find New Zealand first.” Leaning forward, I give her a wink. “Still an island.”

  Lizzie rolls her eyes. “Smart ass.”

  “Never said I wasn’t.” My stomach rumbles loudly, drawing their attention.

  “We should go get some dinner. Since we’ve been gone all day, I didn’t have time to prep anything.” Lizzie stands and twists her long, brown hair into a knot on the top of her head. She almost looks like a native Californian with her sun-kissed skin, highlighted by the tank top, shorts, and sandals.

  Brecken lounges back, letting his arms dangle over the sides of the chair. “I’m in the mood for tacos. What about you, Pax? Wanna come?”

  Let’s see. Sit here and eat cereal for the third time today or go out with the lovebirds and eat real food.

  I can choke down the love fest for an hour.

  Slowly, I stand from the couch and stretch my legs, feeling the tightness slowly leave. Guess I didn’t realize how long I’d been sitting there. “I’m in. Just gonna throw on some shorts and a hat.”

  Brecken nods. “Sounds good.”

  “I’m gonna change, too. I think I have sand still stuck to my body.” A mischievous smile crosses her lips as she looks to Breck. Little devil. And I don’t want to know how he plans on getting the sand off her.

  Hastening my steps, I shut my bedroom door and pull out the first pair of khaki cargo shorts I find. If I’m correct with my assumption, I’ll have a solid fifteen minutes before they’re even ready to go.

  A high-pitched yelp, followed quickly by a low moan proves my point.

  Pulling the headphones back over my ears, I hit play on my phone and lay back on my bed, drumming the air to the rhythm. “Spoonman” by Soundgarden always puts me in a better mood.

  The door opens a crack and Brecken’s hand slides through the opening, giving me a thumbs up.

  Jumping up, I place the headphones on my dresser and slide my phone into one of the side pockets in my shorts.

  “All set?” I ask Breck, cocking a brow.

  Lizzie turns an obscene shade of red as we walk to the front door. “Uh, yeah. All better now.”

  “I bet,” I mutter low enough for no one else to hear.

  Single people don’t want to hear others having something they can’t. Not that I go without, but random hookups are different. There’s little emotion, more mechanical. A means to an end, so to speak. Not to mention a lot of the girls just want to say they hooked up with a member of the Lightning Strikes. My wants and needs are inconsequential. I’m a body to be used for their purposes.

  And I allow it, so I guess I could point the finger at myself for my predicament. But not all of us are able to find our partners before we were famous.

  Breck and I don our usual baseball caps, pulling them low on our brow while sliding on our aviators. Hiding in plain sight has become our new normal. I miss the days of being able to walk down the street and not worry about being followed or wondering if someone with a phone is going to snap a picture and sell it to the highest bidder.

  As much as I love my career, I miss being a regular guy.

  “I can’t believe it’s always this sunny out.” Lizzie pulls her hair into a ponytail and adjusts her sunglasses, so they sit right on the bridge of her nose.

  Breck shrugs. “Kinda hard to believe that it’s cold back home, right?”

  She nods. “I’d be bundled under blankets and fuzzy slippers, not wearing shorts and a tank top.”

  “You’ll get used to it. Now do you see why Adrienne wants to stay here with the baby?” I ask.

  “I’ll say. Who knows, maybe you’ll make a Californian out of me yet.” Lizzie leans over and loops her arm through Brecken’s while kissing his cheek.

  “Don’t get too comfy here. I’m still a K.C. boy at heart.”

  “Ah, but this way you get the best of both worlds.” She’s not wrong with that statement. We go home as often as we can while living the life here in perpetual summer.

  By the time the three of us walk into the little taco place that Brecken loves, my mood has significantly changed. Lizzie’s laugh tends to do that. Always has since we were kids. Breck is lucky that he snagged her when he did. She’ll make a good wife…whenever they’re ready to settle down. Maybe they’ll get their own place before then.

  More change.

  And there goes my mood.

  The bell jingles above us as Lizzie walks in first while I hold the door open. I’ve never actually stepped foot inside before, even though Brecken goes on and on about this place. It’s cute, quiet, and clean. Very few patrons, even though it’s late in the afternoon. I guess it’s technically still the workday, so it makes sense.

  A cute blonde stands behind the register, her hair pulled high in a ponytail, and wearing a red shirt with the name “Fresh Catch” written in white across the front. The minute her eyes find Brecken, her whole face brightens as she draws her lips up into a beaming smile.

  “Hey! Long time, no see, stranger.” She leans forward a little, resting her elbows on the counter. “What have you been up to?”

  Breck returns her smile, drawing Lizzie closer into his side. “Had some time off, but now we’re back to work. Plus, I was showing my girl here all the sights since she’s never been out this way before.”

  The blonde sticks out her hand toward us. “Hi, I’m Jenny.” Lizzie and I shake her hand and introduce ourselves. Jenny turns her attention back to Lizzie. “You’re a lucky girl. Breck is quite the catch.”

  Lizzie blushes and nods. “Yeah, I know. I’ve been chasing after him for what feels like my entire life.”

  “But now you caught me and I’m not letting you go.” He presses his lips to Lizzie’s forehead. It takes all my willpower not to gag and roll my eyes. Jenny, on the other hand, brings her clasped hands up to her chest and sighs.

  “Aww, you two are adorable.”

  “Hardly,” I mutter under my breath. The level of sweetness in the room is too high for me. I should have stayed home and played Call of Duty online or Halo or something else tha
t involves a lot of action and noise. I didn’t really need to be a part of the scene I see all the time.

  Luckily, no one heard my remark, or if they did, no one acknowledged it. Probably for the best.

  As the three of them make small talk, I use this time to look at the menu. Everything has a number listed next to it. All a la carte. Even better. Their design is original, though. Planks of wood painted white and made to look distressed with the black lettering popping over the top. Very unique. There’s bound to be something on here to strike my interest. Can’t say I’ve had too many fish tacos in my life. To me, it almost sounds like an abomination. Fish where beef is supposed to go? Wrong on so many levels.

  Finally locking down my choices, I glance back to Jenny and smile as she waits for my order.

  “I’ll have a number three, a number four, a number seven, and a large Coke.” That should hold me over for a while.

  She taps the screen of her computer while Breck and Lizzie put in their orders. I hand her some money, even though Breck whines about letting me pay.

  “My treat.”

  Breck shoves a twenty in the tip jar and gives Jenny a wink. A rosy flush crawls across her cheeks as she hands me the receipt. “We’ll have your food out to you shortly.”

  With a nod, I turn away and scout the restaurant for a place to sit. It’s fairly empty, only about four tables are occupied at the moment. Each person is focused on their food or the conversation they’re currently engaged in. Definitely not paying attention to the three of us as we pick a booth along the wall, far enough away from the window, but still within view of the front door. Don’t want to be stuck in the corner in case people recognize us and we have nowhere to go.

  Brecken slides in next to Lizzie, setting her drink in front of her while I occupy the other side of the booth.

  “Were your parents sad to go back to Kansas City after spending the holidays here?” I ask. I did my best to stay away from the family bonding. Not that Susan and Nathan Donovan put up with that. They made sure to include me until my mom arrived. It was nice of Kade and Adrienne to host Christmas for everyone. Not to mention all the mom’s fawned over their new baby girl, Lyric. I’m not sure Adrienne even had the chance to hold her while everyone was there.