Downbeat

by Jodie Larson

  Time for a shower.

  “Pax is relentless,” I tell Jenny as we sit at the table, each studying our own books for school.

  She looks up and tilts her head. “How so?”

  Tossing the pencil down, I blow out a quick breath and rest my head against my propped-up hand. “He won’t stop blowing up my text messages, saying anything to get me to say yes to a formal date with him.”

  Jenny sighs dreamily. “I can’t believe you’re dating someone from the Lightning Strikes. Seriously, how cool is that?”

  I roll my eyes. “We’re not dating, per se. We’re exploring the option of dating.”

  She barks out a laugh. “You’re dating, admit it. I know for a fact that you’ve been meeting up for lunch dates after work and that he comes in daily and talks with you until he has to leave.”

  Fucking Lila and Katie and their big mouths. “That’s not dating.”

  Jenny reaches out and cups my hand, her eyes going soft. “I know it’s been a while, but yeah, that’s dating. And Pax is a good guy.”

  “How do you know?”

  She shrugs and jots something down on her paper. “Because Brecken is a good guy and I can’t imagine that he’d be friends with someone who isn’t.”

  “Remind me again how you know Brecken?”

  “Seriously?” Apparently, it’s a dumb question to ask. “He’s been coming into Fresh Catch for months. I’ve spent time talking to him and his girlfriend. Who, by the way, is adorable.”

  “Yeah, I still need to return her clothes from the other weekend. I should pack them in my bag and bring them to work with me so Pax can take them.”

  “Or you could just accept his date request and give them to her yourself when you spend the night there again.”

  Worst mistake in the world was telling Jenny about my stay at Paxton’s condo. She wanted all the details, like any true fan would want. I refused to indulge her request, knowing Paxton wants his privacy. If anything happens between the two of us, I’m sure she’ll get her chance to see for herself.

  But she’s right. I guess we’re technically dating. Our lunch dates are something I look forward to. I’ve even stopped packing my own lunch because I know we’re either walking down the street, or he’s bringing it to me to share in the breakroom. It’s the highlight of my day, other than coming home and playing with Jayce.

  “What are your plans for tomorrow?” Jenny asks.

  I finish scribbling down my thought and chew on the end of the pencil. “Not sure. I keep thinking I need to take Jayce to the beach for some fun. Maybe I’ll do that.”

  “He’d love it. Remember, I’ll be out of town this weekend.”

  “I know, I know. Your big weekend getaway.”

  She nods enthusiastically. “Brady’s been nervous all week about it. I think he might propose.”

  Always the cautious one—thanks to Craig—I take Jenny’s hand in mine. “Please don’t get your hopes up. Maybe he needs some time away with you. I’d hate for you to expect a ring and then be disappointed if one doesn’t show.”

  Jenny nods. “I know it’s possible he won’t. I’m not that love drunk. But it’s a nice thought. I’ve never felt this way about another guy before. Brady’s so considerate, so compassionate. And you, Mom, and Jayce all love him.” She looks down. “It’s just a thought. I’m perfectly content getting away with him, too. Heaven knows we need some time alone, away from the city and all our responsibilities.”

  Guilt hits me like a sucker punch to the stomach. I ask so much of Jenny and she always does it without question. She doesn’t need to watch over my son. I feel like a bad mom asking her to constantly take on more of a role than she needs to.

  “Well, I hope he proposes. Brady’s a good guy and you deserve to be happy. And I promise, when you come back, I’ll try to give you more time with him.”

  She instantly goes on the defensive. “No, that’s not what I meant.”

  I hold up my hands. “I’m taking advantage of your kindness. Go be young. You only get to do it once.”

  Tears rim her eyes. “Please don’t make me feel bad about wanting a life.”

  Emotions get the best of me and the few tears I was holding back streak down my cheek. “Take your life and live it. Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine.”

  She sniffs and smiles. “Yeah, you have your own rock god to take care of you.”

  And it all comes back to that. “You have no idea how much I wish you weren’t home to see me kiss him that day.”

  “You have no idea how glad I was to witness it.” Jenny gets a far-off, dreamy look in her eyes. “My sister, dating a celebrity.”

  Ripping out a piece of paper from the back of my notebook, I wad it up and throw it at her head. “Shut up. Let’s work for another hour and then we can play the Wii with Jayce.”

  Jenny nods her head and we both get back to work. No better incentive than knowing you’re going to get your ass kicked by a five-year-old in video bowling.

  I slather sunscreen on Jayce’s arm, the last body part I need to cover.

  “Mama, why do I need this?” He watches me intently as I make sure it’s soaked into his skin.

  “So you don’t get burned by the sun.”

  “Because it’ll hurt?”

  I nod. “And you don’t want an owie, do you?” He shakes his head. “Then let Mama finish what she needs to do, and we can get to the beach for some fun.”

  I swear the kid asks this question every time I put sunscreen on him. And every time I have the same conversation. But he doesn’t argue, so something I’ve said must be getting through.

  After we pack up the car with all his beach toys and towels, we head to our destination, along with most everyone else. Yikes. I can’t remember there being this many people around when I’ve been here.

  I hand Jayce his beach bag while I pack mule the rest of it, finding a quiet spot near the water. Pulling out the two towels from my bag, I lay them out while Jayce takes off with his bucket and shovel.

  “Stay where I can see you,” I call out, but he’s already scooping wet, heavy sand into piles. He’s not more than ten feet away, which is a comfortable distance for me.

  Taking out my textbook, I start reading and highlighting passages while taking notes on my latest assignment. I’ll be so happy once this class is over. It’s way more demanding than my other ones. For it only being one day a week, they sure do expect a lot of essays and writing. I suppose they’re preparing me for contracts and proposals I may potentially read or write one day.

  Jayce found a friend and the two of them build a sand fort—not a castle as I was informed—both laughing and chattering away. The little boy’s mom is close by, giving me a wave that I return.

  I’m glad I had this idea. With this beautiful weather, I’m able to get more done than if I was stuck at home. Then I’d be constantly checking the laundry, running after Jayce while picking up his messes, helping my mom, and God knows countless other chores to distract me from my work.

  A shadow casts over my book. Who in the hell is standing so close? I move to the side but grunt when the shadow follows me.

  “Excuse me,” I say, my irritation evident in my voice.

  Rather than getting smaller, the shadow increases, now blocking all the sun and putting me in darkness.

  I slam the book shut and swivel to lay into the incredibly rude stranger who is killing my mood.

  “Listen here.” Only I don’t get the rest of my tirade out. When I look up, I see my reflection shine down in a pair of aviators I know all too well. Same baseball hat, same boardshorts, same sandals. Definitely same cocky grin.

  Pax drops to his knees next to me, pulling the aviators down the bridge of his nose. “Yes?”

  For a moment, my head goes blank as I stare into his playful eyes. “You, uh, are blocking my sun.”

  His smile widens, showing off his perfectly white teeth. “Funny, because I’m staring directly into the sun and I’m welcoming the
burn.”

  “Ooh, smooth.” Man has skills. “That could be the best pick-up line I’ve ever heard. How many times have you used that on the ladies?”

  Pax settles down next to me, leaning his arm behind me so I fit perfectly into his side. “Only on the important ones.”

  “You’re saying that staring at me will cause you to go blind?” I mimic his smirk so he can tell I’m kidding

  Taking off his sunglasses and resting them on the brim of his hat, Pax leans in, leaving a few inches to separate our faces. “If you were the last thing I ever saw, I’d gladly go blind to have that image burned into my memories for the rest of my life.”

  Damn.

  I raise my hand to cup his cheek, guiding him closer to press a sweet, chaste kiss to his lips. “You’re adorable.”

  “That’s a first. I was aiming for sexy.” I move over to give him space on my towel, which he gladly accepts.

  “You know you’ve already nailed that.” I look around, remembering his freak out last week about public displays and needing to protect me. “Are you sure it’s safe?”

  He shrugs and leans back on his arms, face raised to the sky. “Is it ever safe? I honestly don’t think about it until I should. Don’t worry, I told you I’d protect you and your son. I meant it.”

  Speaking of, Jayce comes running toward us, covered in sand, with the hugest grin on his face. “Mama, did you see my castle?”

  No sense in trying to get any more work done. I place the books back in my bag and smile up at Jayce. “I did, buddy. It looks amazing.”

  Pax hasn’t moved. Not sure if it’s good or bad, but if he’s serious about wanting to start something with me, he needs to realize I’m a package deal. Not one without the other.

  As if seeing him for the first time, Jayce slinks into my side, head down, but sneaking peeks at Pax, trying to get a read on him. I wasn’t sure when I wanted to introduce them but looks like it’s now.

  “Jayce, this is Mama’s friend, Paxton.” He doesn’t move from my side, still assessing the god of a man next to me.

  When Pax smiles, Jayce relaxes and starts inching closer, out of the safety of my side. “Hi, Jayce. Nice to meet you.” He holds out his hand, which Jayce takes and gives his best manly shake.

  “Hi.” Nothing fancy, but his voice is quieter than usual. It reminds me of his first day of school. He hid behind my legs until he saw all the kids playing with toys. The minute he was invited to play cars with another boy, he was gone, leaving me to be the emotional one. Once he warms up to a situation, things aren’t an issue anymore. For the most part, I’d call him fearless. At least he still has that bit of trepidation in the beginning, otherwise he’d be the one who would jump first and ask questions second.

  For his part, Pax plays it cool, asking him about school and what he likes to play with. Jayce, of course, entertains him with every minute detail he could possibly conjure in his five-year-old brain.

  “Did you build that sand castle over there?” Pax finally asks, pointing toward his creation.

  Jayce nods vehemently. “Uh huh. Wanna come see it?” He holds out his little hand expectantly.

  I nod at Pax when he looks to me for permission. “Go ahead. I’ll be right behind you.”

  “Come on, bud. Show me what you’ve done.” The two of them scurry away, giving me time to admire the sight before me. Maybe this is happening faster than I ever imagined, but watching Jayce beam from ear to ear, talking nonstop about everything and nothing while Pax listens intently to every word warms my heart. I’m not sure I ever intended them to meet. Thinking in terms of more than abstract wasn’t something I was prepared for. Then Pax showed up and said all the right things, making me believe that we really can have a shot together.

  Please don’t make me regret this.

  By the time I get down to their spot, they’ve already built three more towers around the main structure and are in the process of digging out the moat.

  “Wow,” I say, making sure my cover-up stretches over my ass as I kneel next to them. “Look at your castle now.”

  Jayce nods, tapping the top of his bucket to release another tower. “It’s a mega-castle. And there’s gonna be sharks in the water ‘round it.”

  “Sharks, huh? Don’t you think that’s dangerous?”

  He smiles brightly. “‘Xactly. No one’s gonna get through the shark wall.”

  “If you saw a moat full of sharks, you’d run the other direction. It’s logic.” Pax quirks a brow in challenge.

  I laugh and help him dig out the moat. “I know I’d run in the other direction. How many sharks were you putting in here?”

  Jayce looks at the ocean and twists his lips to the side. “Um, a hundred.”

  I start coughing to suppress my laugh. “Do you think they’ll all fit?”

  He assesses the moat and shakes his head. “It’s gotta be bigger.”

  Pax looks to me and shrugs. “He’s right. Let’s get to work.”

  The three of us continue making the trench bigger, digging and scooping out sand until it’s at least a foot wide and just as deep. Jayce declares it perfect, so he and Pax take turns getting water while I put the finishing touches on the towers. I found several small rocks around the area and placed them at the base, saying they’re extra protection from invaders.

  After a while, a loud rumbling pulls us from our task. Pax and I look to each other before landing our gaze at Jayce, who’s grabbing his stomach like he’s dying.

  “Mama, I’m hungry.”

  I look to Pax, who’s already glancing at his watch. “Yeah, it’s about time for food. You guys up for some pizza?”

  Jayce bounces up and down, sand flying everywhere as he claps his hands. “Yes, please! Oh, Mama, can we? Please?”

  I look down at my outfit and cringe. If I knew we were going out, I would have packed something other than my stretchy shorts and cover-up. Not that people don’t eat in their swimsuits around here. You can’t throw a rock and not hit some girl dressed in only a bikini top— something you’ll ever catch me in. My one-piece is risqué enough with the cut-out sides. But a lot of leg will be showing and I’m not sure everyone wants to see that.

  Luckily, I always keep several spare outfits for Jayce in my car. He is five, after all. Pax joins in with the begging, clasping his hands while getting down to Jayce’s level, egging him on. When they both give me puppy dog eyes, I’m finished. If this relationship continues and these two constantly gang up on me, I’ll never get anything accomplished.

  “Okay, let’s go eat pizza.”

  Their cheers and hollers turn a few heads, but all I can do is laugh as they high-five each other and scramble to put away all of Jayce’s toys into his beach bag. Wow, that must be a new record.

  Once the sand is cleaned off both our bodies, we start toward the car.

  “Here, let me take that.” Pax grabs the bag off my shoulder, slinging it over his.

  “No, it’s okay. I have it.”

  He gives a sly smile and shakes his head. “You worry about holding his hand. I’ll worry about holding the stuff.”

  Holy hell. If my child wasn’t right next to me and there weren’t a million people surrounding us, I’d strip us both down and mount him right here. Desire runs hot and heavy through me, igniting a tingle in all the right places. Places—mind you—that haven’t had a man’s touch in years.

  “Where have you been all my life?” I mutter quietly to myself.

  Pax leans over as we wait for the traffic to clear so we can walk across the street. “I’ve been asking myself the same question about you.”

  Heat colors my cheeks. He wasn’t supposed to hear that.

  Once the car is loaded and Jayce is securely buckled in, I turn to face Pax. “Wanna ride with us? Or should I follow you since I have no idea where we’re going?”

  Giving the area a quick look, he leans down and presses a kiss to my cheek. “Baby, I’ll ride with you anytime you want.” His warm breath hits
my ear, causing my nipples to tighten almost painfully. Not the best idea when they’re on full display in this barely-there outfit.

  “Dirty.”

  He laughs while opening the passenger door. “I’ll show you where to go.”

  We drive for a few miles, letting Jayce be our radio since he hasn’t stopped talking once Pax climbed inside. His patience for my chatterbox kid is monumental. Definitely deserving of a medal.

  “There,” Pax says, pointing to a huge warehouse-type building on the right. Bright neon lights glow in the window, along with one of those old-time bulb arrows outside, pointing to the door. We find a spot to park in the adjacent lot and the three of us file out of the car. Jayce stares wide-eyed and mouth gaping as we pass through the doors. A large sign saying Smash blinks on and off above the hostess stand.

  That’s not what draws Jayce’s attention. No, it’s the arcade taking up the entire rear of the restaurant that puts a twinkle in his eyes. Beeping and bells, loud dings and flashing lights added with the excited voices of various kids makes this Jayce’s new favorite spot.

  I don’t know whether to kiss Pax or throttle him for what I know is going to come the next time we suggest pizza.

  The hostess looks up, smiling brightly at the three of us; more toward Pax than anyone else. “Welcome to Smash. Just the three of you tonight?”

  Pax nods. “Yep. A booth if you have it.”

  I almost gag as little miss thing turns on the sweetness while grabbing three menus from the stack. “Anything you want.” To add to the mess, she bats her eyelashes like she has dust in her eye.

  Without warning, Pax grabs my hand with his left and Jayce’s with his right, sending a clear signal to Miss Bubbles as we make our way through the restaurant, finding a quiet booth near the back.

  “Your server will be right with you.” A huge change in demeanor as she slinks back to her post. Pax smirks while taking the seat across from me and Jayce. Much to his displeasure, I take the outside of the booth, which means Jayce won’t be able to run out and play like he thinks he can.