Maverick (Carter Brothers Book 5)

by Lisa Helen Gray

  “I need to go. I need to process all of this, to make sense of it in my head,” Malik suddenly bursts out. Gently, I pull away from Teagan, standing to stop him.

  “We need to talk about this―about her.”

  “I don’t give a fuck about her. She’s fucking dead to me. I’m gonna get Harlow and go home. If you try to stop me, I’ll put you through the fucking window,” he snarls, and I rear back in surprise, hurt by his threat.

  “Malik, don’t do this, please. If I knew you were being hurt I would have stopped it somehow. Everything I did was to protect you four. Fuck, I did everything he asked me because he said he’d leave you all alone if I did,” I croak, my eyes filling with tears that threaten to fall.

  Malik moves and at first, I think he’s going to punch me, but instead, he brushes past me, turning to face me when he gets to the stairs. “I just need some time. I’m so fucking sorry you’ve had to keep this to yourself all this time, but you’ve had all this time to process it. We’re just finding out and I can’t deal, not yet.”

  I nod, looking to the floor. “Okay,” I say, feeling the life drain out of me as I make my way back to the sofa, sitting down.

  “He’ll be okay. They just need time,” Granddad says, choked up.

  “Hope so. How the fuck are we going to find her?” I ask, running my hands through my hair again, pulling at the ends.

  “Where’s my brother?” Denny asks.

  “He went into the kitchen to give you all some privacy,” Lake answers.

  I look around the room, finding all my brothers wearing the same broken expressions. I have to fix this.

  “I’m sorry I kept this from you, I really am. And I’m sorry she’s come back. I won’t let her hurt you guys, not again. I just…. I don’t know how to make this right.”

  “Are you keeping anything else from us?” Mason asks, his voice small and lost.

  “No,” I tell him, hurt at the cold treatment.

  He runs a hand over his face before getting up. “Are those…? Shit, are those tapes still out there?”

  My heart aches at the bleak and agonising sound of his voice. I get up, taking a step towards him, but he takes one back, holding his palm up to stop me, his eyes flashing with warning.

  Pain like nothing before fills me, so much so my eyes burn with tears and I feel like I can’t breathe. “The ones I found were all destroyed after Dad died.”

  “But there could be more copies?”

  “Honestly? I don’t fucking know. I know nothing about the dark web. I wouldn’t even know where to start or even want to look,” I admit, knowing there are more sick people in this world than just my mum and dad.

  “I can ask Liam. He’ll know how to,” Max says, trying to be helpful.

  “No!” Mason and I shout.

  “Just trying to fucking help.”

  “I know, but those tapes…. I’d rather no one else knew, okay?”

  Max nods before turning to Myles, giving him a helpless look.

  “I need to go. I need to… I don’t know what the fuck I need, but I know I can’t stay here,” Mason announces before looking at me. “I resent you for keeping this from me. There’s only a few years between us, so there was no need for you to protect me, not when we should have been protecting each other. I’m furious that you let me spend years of my life believing I could have done something to prevent what happened when all along it was inevitable. Nothing you or I could have done would have changed what happened to us. There was always a bigger plan in play and it’s that I can’t understand, or wrap my head around, especially knowing my love for Hope.

  “That said, I know this isn’t your fault, but at the moment, my anger is zeroed in on you and I don’t want to say something I’ll regret later,” he says, taking Denny’s hand.

  I watch them leave, already feeling the drift come between us, tearing us apart. This is what I’ve always been scared of―losing my brothers.

  “Maverick, everything will be okay.”

  “Granddad, please, don’t. Not now. I need to find her. I need to do something,” I tell him, heading into the kitchen.

  Evan sits on the stool, head in his hands. From the grave expression on his face, I can tell he heard our conversation.

  “How much did you hear?”

  “Everything,” he whispers, turning to look at me, his expression filled with pity and concern. “I’ve heard some messed-up family shit in my time―hell, you’ve met my mother―but this is something else entirely.”

  “Yeah, well, nothing beats my psycho mum.”

  He chuckles dryly before his expression turns serious. “You do realise you’re gonna have to talk to the police, right?”

  “Evan―”

  “No, Mav! I understand you not wanting to share, I really do, but this isn’t just about you. You could potentially be helping thousands of other children out there by helping us find these guys.”

  “Fuck!” I roar, throwing a cup across the room. “Fuck.” My voice is weaker, my body draining of energy as I fall into the stool next to him, putting my head in my hands.

  “It’s going to be okay.”

  “I’m getting fed up with people telling me that. Nothing feels right. You’re right about talking to the police, and I will, but we need to stop her first. She can’t get away with this any longer.”

  “I have a plan for that. We have her real name now, so we’ll find her.”

  “I really fucking hope so. I can’t lose my brothers over her.”

  Losing my brothers would be like losing a part of myself. Each one of them are a part of me. They’re my life, my family, and my brothers.

  I’m not going to let some low-life junkie who gave birth to us come between us.

  Not again.

  Not ever.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  MAVERICK

  All my life I’ve dealt with one thing after another, always protecting my brothers and making sure they stayed out of trouble. Back then I had them by my side; now I’m not even sure if they can stand to be in the same room as me.

  We’ve overcome so much as men, as brothers and as a family; however, this time it feels like the odds are against us, giving us no way out. I’ve never felt so useless or helpless in all my life.

  It’s been a week since my world blew up in my face, and we’re no closer to finding where our mum is or what she’s planning. There’s been no word or sighting of her and it’s concerning. Neither I, nor Evan, nor the police have been able to locate her, and we’ve been searching non-stop. It’s like she foresaw us going to the police and planned the perfect disappearing act.

  A part of me hopes we’ve scared her off, but I know we’re not that lucky. Another part of me, the part burning for vengeance, wants her to rot in prison for the rest of her life.

  I’m just unsure of what my brothers want. Things between us are still tense, and although I know it’s because they’ve just had a huge bomb dropped on them, I’m also worried it’s because we still have nothing on her.

  It doesn’t help that none of us have really spoken since it all happened. Max and Myles seem to be staying out of everyone’s way, avoiding the tension between us other three. Malik and Mason, on the other hand, have kept to themselves, staying with their girls in their own space. I know this has been hard on them, but I wish they’d come to me and talk. The only reason I haven’t pushed them to talk is because I’ve had a decade to come to terms with what happened, so I know it’s not going to sink in overnight.

  It’s why I’m so stressed about today. We planned to take Malik to a motocross race for his stag party since he didn’t want to go out drinking like we did for Mason’s. Harlow and Denny both assured me that they were still coming since it had already been paid for, but a part of me feels like it’s not going to be as simple as them turning up. We’ve hardly said two words the few times we did see each other the past week, so what makes the girls believe today is going to be a hit is beyond me.

  I
hate the distance between us; it’s not who we are, and I feel like we’ll never be the family we once were ever again. And it’s all my fault.

  “Hey, are you okay?”

  My cup of coffee flies out of my hand, spilling all over this week’s invoices. “Shit, Myles, you scared the fucking hell out of me,” I tell him, grabbing some tissues to soak all the coffee up, not that it does a lot of good.

  I’d been so lost in my own head I didn’t even hear him walk in. It’s another sign of how uneasy I am about today.

  He winces. “Sorry, I thought you heard me knock.”

  I wave him off. “It’s my own fault. I didn’t think any of you would actually come, so I wasn’t expecting you. The others are here, aren’t they?”

  He nods. “Yeah, they’re all here. They got stopped by Matt and some other dude in the car park,” he says, searching my face. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

  Isn’t that the million-dollar question?

  Getting up, I round my desk, scrubbing a hand down my face, yawning. “Yeah, I just have a lot going on.”

  “Mav,” he starts, wringing his hands. I know he’s going to say something meaningful or something to try and make this better, but there’s nothing he could say that could make me feel any better about myself right now. I hate what I’ve done to us all.

  “Don’t, Myles,” I say, my voice low and scratchy.

  “No, you need to hear this, Mav. You’re running yourself into the ground trying to fix everything. This isn’t just your burden to bear,” he says, stepping closer. “And I know everyone keeps saying this, but everything really will be okay.”

  “Will it?” I ask dryly, wondering how he can say that when he’s seen the strain between me, Malik and Mason.

  “Yeah it will, if everyone would get their heads out of their arses. She doesn’t get to come back here and destroy our lives. She may have played a huge role in ruining our childhoods, but we got through it once as a family, as brothers. We’re not the same kids we once were, Maverick. We can help.”

  “He’s right,” Max says as he steps into my office, Malik and Mason behind him looking grim. “We’ve all drifted apart this past week, and I don’t know about any of you, but I feel like I’m missing a left nut.”

  “What he said,” Myles adds, nodding.

  “I didn’t want to keep this secret from any of you, especially you two,” I say, addressing Malik and Mason. “I knew this involved you, and that you deserved to know. I just never knew how to tell you. I fretted constantly about how you’d react. I never wanted this,” I admit, gesturing to the distance between us. “I can’t stand you all hating me.”

  I glance to the floor when the room falls silent. Malik can’t even look at me, Mason’s staring at the wall behind me, and the twins are watching their feet like they’re the most fascinating thing in the world.

  It’s like we’re no longer brothers, but strangers. We’ve always been so close, no boundaries between us crossed―Max’s shenanigans notwithstanding. He doesn’t count. I don’t think there’s a boundary that boy hasn’t crossed.

  Malik clears his throat, sagging down onto my desk. “Look, I’m not one to sit and talk about my feelings and shit, but I can’t stand here and let you believe we hate you, because I don’t. “I’ve been distracted the past week, lost in my own head. I’ve been trying to deal with everything the only way I know how to―by being broody and angry. My anger hasn’t been aimed at you though. It’s at them.”

  “You can talk to me about anything,” I tell him, managing to keep eye contact.

  “The whole situation is fucked up, more so for you two,” he says, looking between Mason and me. “It’s been a lot to digest. I also feel fucking guilty for being relieved. I’ve had this raging anger inside me for as long as I can remember. Fuck, I’ve lost count of the amount of fights I’ve been in, but it never bothered me until Harlow walked into my life. Then that anger morphed into fear―fear of hurting her like Dad hurt Mum and us. But it’s taken me until now to realise that I’m nothing like him. I’d rather kill myself than ever hurt either Harlow or my babies. We’re not to blame for what happened to us. They are.”

  Nodding, I look away, trying to absorb everything he’s said, but it’s so much to take in at one time. I never realised he looked at himself in that way; if I had known, I would’ve helped in some way.

  “You’ve never been like him, Malik. None of us are like them,” I tell him, my throat tightening.

  “He’s right, we aren’t,” Mason agrees before turning to me. “I’m sorry, bro. I really am. I never wanted you to think I hated you. I’ve been so consumed with my own past, my own demons, that I never even thought of how you’d be handling everything. Of course, I’m still pissed that you kept it from me since this is pretty fucking huge, but I also understand why now that I’ve had time to process everything. If you had told me this crap when we were younger, I dread to think what it would’ve done to me. I was already messed up in the head. Hell, I nearly lost Denny because my head was so screwed up. Who knows where my life would be if you hadn’t protected me―us. So I guess we really should be thanking you instead of making you feel responsible.”

  My mouth falls open; I’m completely speechless. Out of everything I thought would happen or be said today, that was not it. If anything, I expected a full-on brawl between us, as well as a few choice words.

  “I… I don’t know what to say. I wasn’t expecting….” I shake my head as I gesture between Malik and Mason. Their words mean everything and more.

  “Shall we group hug now?” Max asks.

  “Shut up,” I tell him, rolling my eyes. “I really am sorry this is happening.”

  “And we’re sorry for letting you deal with this on your own,” Mason says.

  “Yeah, any news on mummy dearest?” Max asks, his jaw clenching.

  “No.” I sigh, pinching the bridge of my nose.

  “What are we going to do? She’s got to have a plan, and we need to be ready for whatever that is. We do have one advantage on our side though―she doesn’t know that we know who she is,” Malik says, rubbing his jaw where he’s grown a rough stubble over the past couple of days, aging him ten years.

  “I don’t know. She’s nowhere to be found, so I think either she knows we’re on to her or she’s left town.”

  “But how? We only found out about her a week ago. Fuck, before that it was just about your club and Teagan. How could she know we fitted all the pieces together?” Myles asks, looking frustrated.

  “That’s the thing, I don’t think we’ve got all the missing pieces. I feel like we’re missing something. We know why she targeted the club, but what I’d like to know is why she never came directly to me. Why use Holly and then attack Teagan? None of it makes sense. And I’m not backing off until I find her. She’s hurt too many people I love,” I warn them.

  “No arguments here. I want her to pay for everything she’s ever done just as much as you do,” Mason says, sitting on the arm of the sofa as he runs his fingers through his hair.

  “What I’d like to know is why she hasn’t shown her face yet. If we were the intended targets, shouldn’t she be harassing us?” Malik asks, and rightly so.

  “Not if she’s only after money like Teagan said she is. She’d want to keep a low profile so she can make a clean getaway. For all she knows, we’re just some low-life, fucked-up kids Dad raised. She might believe we’re easy targets,” I say, shrugging.

  “Or she knew we’d never give her any money. She probably thought we were too dumb to figure out it was her, or thought we were too stupid to go to the police. It’s not like we have a good track record when it comes to them,” Max says, spacing out at the end.

  “She clearly underestimated us.”

  “I certainly did, my boys.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  TEAGAN

  So much for having a relaxing day at the spa. Even the masseuse couldn’t massage the knotted tension from my body.


  All I’ve done for the past week is worry, stress and worry some more. It’s worked my body into a frenzy. Maverick and his brothers’ pain is suffocating. I wish there was something I could do to take it away―Maverick’s especially.

  I’ve watched him become more withdrawn, more haunted as each day passes. There are moments where I think I’m losing him. The only reason I’m still holding onto hope is because even in those dark moments where he’s lost in his own guilt and torment, I still see the Maverick I’ve fallen in love with.

  I hate that he’s hurting so much, and that his brothers can’t see past their own pain to notice what it’s doing to him. I wish they’d understand why he didn’t tell them and just talk to him. The distance they’ve put between them is only making the whole situation worse and it’s killing Maverick on the inside, even if he doesn’t always show it.

  I’m hoping today will help them come together and move forward with this whole catastrophe.

  I pray he’ll be okay and they go easy on him. He doesn’t deserve their hostility.

  “If who’s okay?” Kayla asks from beside me. When no one answers, I wonder if they’ve gone to sleep, but then she calls my name. “Teagan?”

  “What?” I ask, wishing I could relax for just five minutes. I’m strung up so tight.

  “You said I hope he’s okay. Who were you referring to?”

  Removing the cucumbers from my eyes, I sit up, throwing them on the little table between me and Kayla, puffing out a breath.

  “I’m worried about Maverick,” I admit, watching as she and the others remove their own cucumber slices.

  “Thank God! I can’t relax, and faking it is tiring me out,” Harlow huffs, grabbing the iced water next to her and taking a large gulp.

  “He’ll be fine,” Denny says shortly. I know she’s hurting for her husband, but there’s no need for the attitude she’s had towards Maverick all week.

  “No, he won’t. This is killing him, Denny. He’s hardly slept or eaten this past week.”

  “That’s called guilt,” she says, looking away.