Choose to Love [Blackhawk Brothers 2] (BookStrand Publishing Romance)

by Lavada Dee

  Baylee woke at her usual time of six o’clock and was surprised to feel so rested. Relief that Grant had called like he promised must have carried her through the night. She had been expecting his call all evening, and when she finally gave up, she’d almost missed it.

  She stretched, feeling sensuous and all female. He’d done that for her, and no matter what happened in their lives, she’d always have this gift from him. Her mind flew back to last night and to the turn their phone conversation had taken. Her body felt like warm, rich chocolate was flowing over it. She lay back, letting her body remember his touch and his scent. What would it be like to wake up in Grant’s bed every morning?

  Through the mist of arousal she heard the rare sound of her alarm. She reached over and turned it off. She had it set for six thirty but usually was up and busy by that time. Everything about her world seemed changed, the reluctance to get out of bed and the awareness of her body being the most prominent.

  By the time she’d showered and dressed for a court day, Baylee was feeling more like her old self. Pouring a cup of coffee, she had just turned on her computer when she heard Jeffrey come in.

  “Foggy out there this morning, isn’t it? Did you have a good weekend with your friend?” In usual Jeffrey fashion, he didn’t wait for an answer before running one topic into another. His term “friend” didn’t go over Baylee’s head. He’d been fishing ever since he’d taken Grant’s call the other day.

  She laughed. “I had a great weekend with my friend, thank you.”

  Jeffrey laughed. “Feeling sassy, I see. Well, hang onto it, because you’ll no doubt need it before the day is over if this is a usual Monday.”

  At his reference to the day, Baylee’s mind shot to Cindy’s case. She’d be so relieved when it was over, and Cindy could leave town. She’d said that she planned to move to the Midwest permanently, and Baylee was happy she’d changed her mind about going back to her husband.

  Moving away would be a good thing. The woman needed to put some distance between herself and Joe. His threats had ceased, but Baylee didn’t like the feel of things.

  The morning went in typical Monday manner. The increase in staff meant more time in administration for both her and Jeffrey. Baylee glanced up at the clock and interrupted the staff meeting. “Sorry, but I’m going to have to leave.”

  Just as the words left her mouth, Bonnie, their new receptionist, poked her head in the door. “Excuse me. You just got a call from Gladys Brakenbush’s office. The Jenkins case is cancelled.”

  Damn! She knew Gladys wanted to get this divorce finalized as much as she did. So why the cancellation? She pushed away from the conference table. “I need to find out what this is all about. Are we finished here?”

  Jeffrey nodded. “Yeah, let me know what’s going on.”

  A few minutes later, Baylee hung up the phone. Fate, well if it was, it sure picked a fine time to show. If there was ever a divorce that needed to be settled, it was the Jenkins’s. She shook her head. The court date had been rescheduled for two weeks from today. It would take that long for Gladys to recover from a burst appendix.

  She hung up the phone and reached for the fresh cup of coffee Jeffrey had brought her on his way back to his office from the meeting. On second thought she didn’t have time. She needed to get to the courthouse and intercept Cindy Jenkins. Grabbing her keys, she stopped by Jeffrey’s office to let him know she was leaving and assure him she’d catch him up when she got back. “I don’t have anything else scheduled at court today, so depending on what happens with Cindy, I’ll be back right after lunch or maybe earlier.”

  “Call me if anything comes up, and I’ll let the front end know, though they had you out for court anyhow, so what time you get back won’t louse up any scheduled appointments.”

  Baylee hurried up the steps of the courthouse and sighed with relief when she saw Cindy standing just outside the doors.

  With her slight built, big blue eyes, and blonde hair, Cindy always looked fragile. She brought out the macho in men who wanted to champion her, and the nurturing side of women who wanted to mother her. Baylee felt more like the big sister who wanted to protect a younger sister on one hand, and kick her in the butt to toughen her up with the other.

  Slightly out of breath, she took Cindy’s arm and pulled her to the side of the door. “I’m glad I caught you before you went inside.”

  No use prolonging the inevitable, she took a breath and said, “Your case has been rescheduled.”

  Baylee had expected Cindy to be upset, but she looked more than upset. She looked like her world was ending. Tears welled up in her big blue eyes. Baylee reached in her purse for a tissue.

  “Whyyyy,” Cindy all but wailed.

  “Joe’s attorney had a medical emergency. Her appendix ruptured.”

  “This is horrible. How long will I have to wait?”

  Baylee wasn’t surprised that Cindy’s first thoughts were for herself. In fact, she was proud of her. When she’d met her, Cindy had been so downtrodden she hardly functioned. It seemed like she thought she wasn’t good enough to matter. If fear hadn’t motivated her, Baylee doubted that Cindy would have summoned the courage to leave Joe. She’d come a long way from that woman, and her reaction just now proved it, even if it was in a subtle way that few would recognize.

  She remembered the day Cindy had come to her office. The girl looked terrified, and after she’d heard her story, she felt a little of the same. Joe, her husband, had been careful not to injure her where it could be seen, but he’d beaten her bad enough that she’d aborted a six-week pregnancy.

  Cindy told Baylee that Joe didn’t know she’d lost the baby. When he found out, he’d blame her, and she knew this time he’d probably beat her to death.

  Baylee had called a safe house and got a restraining order out against her husband. The next day, she’d filed divorce papers for the girl.

  Baylee hated the cornered look on Cindy’s face and that she sounded like she was forcing her words out. “Two weeks from today.”

  At Baylee’s nod, Cindy leaned back against the side of the building. “You don’t understand. I can’t stay in town. Joe has been holding off. He’s convinced himself the judge will deny the divorce or prevent me from leaving town. He thinks I’m still pregnant, and the judge won’t take a father’s rights away.”

  “But none of that will change in two weeks. He won’t blame you. It’s his attorney that had to take medical leave.”

  “He will when he finds out I’ve moved out of the house. You know how he went off when I moved into the safe house. Going back home, even though I had restraining order, sort of appeased him but...”

  Cindy’s coloring looked like chalk. Baylee motioned toward the street. “Let’s go somewhere we can talk. And it might be a good idea for you to get something to eat.”

  Cindy gave a little snort. “Eat? I tried this morning, and it didn’t stay down.”

  “Well, if not something solid, then maybe a milk shake?”

  One good thing about the courthouse, there were a number of cafés and restaurants within a few blocks of it. By the time they each had milkshakes in front of them, Cindy looked better.

  Baylee took a sip of her shake and looked over the table at her client. She might look better, but she still looked like a deer caught in the headlights of a semi-truck. Cautiously, Baylee opened the conversation back up. “So tell me what I don’t understand, Cindy. Is it that you’ve moved? Surely that won’t set him off.”

  “It will, believe me. When he finds the house empty, he’ll go into a rage. I shipped my stuff already, so all I need to take with me is what I have here.” She put her hand over the backpack beside her.

  “You shipped it where? To your sister’s?”

  “No, I’ll be close to her, but Joe might look for me there. There’s a group that helps women like me. Sort of like the old underground slave railroad. I’m going to stay with someone until I can find a job and place of my own. I’d planned to l
eave right after court.”

  “But I would have had paperwork for you and...”

  Cindy interrupted her and held up an envelope. “I know, and I have a letter for you telling you who to contact.” She smiled. “There’s also a check from my mother that will cover my bill.”

  Baylee sat back and stifled the urge to let out a whistle. All this and she hadn’t known anything about it. If Cindy could make plans like these on her own, maybe she would make it after all. She took a drink of her shake, letting what Cindy said sink in. Cindy still looked pale, but the sugar seemed to working.

  Baylee took a breath and said, “Okay, let’s think this out. I’d guess your husband should be getting the news of the rescheduling about now, if he hasn’t already. Do you think he’ll start looking for you right away?”

  “Yes, and I think the first place he’ll look is our house. I contacted a realtor but told them to wait a week before putting a For Sale sign on it. I hope he’ll wait there for me to come home. That will give me a little time, but I’m not sure for what.”

  She propped her head in her hands. “I have a plane ticket, so all I would have had to do was get to the airport. Since I don’t have any luggage, I was pretty sure Joe wouldn’t have caught on that I wasn’t going home. With any luck, I could have started a new life. I even have a new name.”

  Cindy’s eyes filled with tears. “Now I can’t leave.”

  “Okay, let’s look at the options. You could go back to the house and reschedule with the realtor. Go on like you have been. It’s only for two weeks.”

  Cindy didn’t look convinced.

  “Or you could go back to the safe house.”

  “I don’t know. I get the feeling that Joe is barely hanging on. And I remember what he was like last time I left the house.”

  Baylee remembered, too. He’d made threats, standing outside the safe house yelling and cursing. They’d arrested him but didn’t hold him. Cindy said he had a stash of guns, and if that were true would he resort to violence again? She didn’t blame Cindy for not wanting to take a chance.

  “You could go ahead with your plans. I can present your case without you being present. It’s not the best way to do it, but we have the doctor’s report stating you’re not pregnant. This state has a no-fault divorce law, so there’s no way I can see to not only grant the divorce but to release you from any obligation to stay in the state because of Mr. Jenkins’s parenting rights.”

  “Do you think that will work?”

  “If not we’ll refile.” At the stricken look on Cindy’s face, she quickly added, “I don’t think we’ll have to.”

  When Baylee offered Cindy a ride to the airport, the girl couldn’t agree fast enough.

  Cindy seemed to relax a little on the way, and Baylee felt reassured that all would work out as she watched her disappear inside. And I wonder why I don’t believe in marriage? Once upon a time, not very long ago, Cindy and Joe had been in love. They’d stood up and vowed to love one another forever. Now? Well, now was real life, now was that Joe had come back changed from four deployments, now was that Cindy had to reconstruct her life, and hopefully Joe could do the same.

  With a sigh, Baylee pulled back out onto the freeway. She needed to start thinking about what she wanted to do, how she wanted to live, and what she wanted out of life. And where in all of it, Grant played a part. Or more like, didn’t play a part. He’d made it all too clear he wouldn’t father a baby unless he could be in its life. Would that be so bad? Having Grant in her life?

  Baylee gave herself a mental shake. What was she doing even thinking about something like that? Was she nuts? Cindy’s wounded, haunted look when she got of the car should have been enough to reinforce the life plan she’d made for herself. So why did the empty, lonely feeling persist when she thought of never seeing Grant again? And why the physical pain around her heart?

  Chapter 15

  After dropping Cindy at the airport, Baylee headed straight back to the office. If nothing unexpected came in, she could work on drawing up the sales contract for her home and office to the firm. The closing date and price had already been negotiated, so all that remained was the paperwork. And of course finding a house. Jeffrey had told her not to worry about it. She could stay in the apartment as long as she wanted to.

  Baylee appreciated Jeffrey’s offer, but she wanted to move out once the building was turned over to the firm. If worse came to worse she’d rent it, but she didn’t want to do that, either.

  She stretched and looked at the clock. Just past six o’clock, the day hadn’t gone exactly liked planned, with the Jenkins’s case being canceled. Then to slow her down more, she couldn’t keep thoughts of Grant out of her mind. More than once she’d found herself dreamily gazing out the window. Still, she was pleased with what she’d gotten accomplished. Jeffrey poked his head in the door. “You still here? I thought that you’d take off early and go house hunting.”

  She sighed. “I was going to but got sidetracked looking at the listings online. I thought that I should get a better feel for what’s out there and the prices they’re asking.”

  “With this economy, it’s a buyer’s market. Have you thought about looking in my neighborhood? We like it, and the schools are good. You’ll want to think about that with a baby in the plans. If you find something, we could carpool.”

  “Jeffrey, you have almost an hour commute. I may want to have a home separate from where I work, but an hour away? I don’t think so.”

  Jeffrey shrugged. “I thought the same thing until we started trying to find something. Unless things have changed in the past two years, you’re going to have to rethink how far out you need to go to get a neighborhood you’d want to raise a child in.”

  He plopped down in the chair in front of her desk. “Of course, you could maybe get a condo close in and plan to move in say five or six years.”

  “Or I could move to Montana.”

  Jeffrey let out a low whistle. “Or you could move to Montana? How serious did things get this weekend?”

  Good grief, what did I just say. Baylee rolled her eyes and let out a chuckle. “I’m kidding.”

  “Are you now?”

  “Yeah, you’re stuck with me.” She waved her hand around the office. “I didn’t work so hard to get all this just to dump it. Especially for a man. You know how I feel about relationships.”

  Jeffrey opened his mouth to protest, but she hurried on. “You and Tracy are an exception, and you know it.”

  Jeffrey sat silent for a second. “No, Baylee, I don’t. From the little you’ve told me about this guy, his family does relationships. I know that you’ve memorized the divorce stats, but have you taken into account the rest of us? The anniversaries that are celebrated? Twenty-five and fifty years are not as uncommon as you think. Maybe you need to take a step back and take another look.”

  “I’m not too sure it isn’t too late.” Baylee lowered her voice to a whisper. “It’s more than that, Jeffrey. It’s...scary. Right now I’m happy and safe and...”

  Jeffrey stood up to go. “You know Tracy and I love you. We want you to be happy, so think long and hard before you throw something good away. Safe isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. The alternative to not trying, not giving this man a chance, might be something you’ll look back on some day and regret.”

  Baylee didn’t want to think, not long or hard or even a little bit. It was a good thing Grant lived hundreds of miles from her. If he were closer—well, better not to think of that, either.

  She turned back to the computer. There had to be that perfect house, the one that would be the perfect home. She’d concentrate on that and a family. She pushed the image of a child with dark hair and Grant’s long-lashed eyes out of her mind and made herself think about the other option that had been niggling at her. Ever since Grant had pointed out the flaws in her plans to use a sperm bank, she’d been thinking more about adoption. It might be a better answer for the family she yearned for. She sighed when a t
rickle of regret made her aware of what she’d never have. So what. There were millions of women that never got to experience the beginning of a new life. At least she had the means to support a family.

  She arched her back and let out a low groan as pain throbbed in her back and neck. Why didn’t she remember to set a timer? How many times had she been forced off the computer by the pain of being on it too long? Frustrated, she got up and walked over to the window. Night was settling over the city, and lights twinkled, giving it a fairy-tale look. With a sigh, she headed up to her apartment and another lonely night.

  Her stomach rumbled, reminding her she hadn’t eaten anything except for the milk shake with Cindy since a bagel that morning. She hadn’t given Cindy much thought since she’d dropped her at the airport. She should be at her destination by now. Baylee was glad the young woman had decided to go ahead with her plans. She didn’t foresee any problems with completing the divorce, but she’d still be glad when it was over and done with.

  She snapped on the TV in her small kitchen before she opened the freezer. Um, she needed something quick and filling. When she saw a Costco casserole, one of her favorites, she smiled. Simple comfort food, just what she needed. She made a few long slits in the covering and popped it in the microwave. Twenty minutes, time enough for a shower and to get into a comfy nightshirt. One of her favorite crime shows would be starting about the time she was ready to eat.

  The casserole tasted good. She bit back a twinge of guilt that she didn’t have a vegetable or salad with it. Oh well. She could indulge now, because when she had a family she’d have to get a handle on priorities and good balanced meals.

  By the time the eleven o’clock news came on, Baylee was fighting to stay awake. Grant hadn’t called. She remembered last night and the last thing he’d said. “I’m sending you a good-night kiss. Grab it and dream of me, of us.”

  Was he having second thoughts? Fool, of course he was having second thoughts. Why would he want a relationship with you and all the baggage you’d bring to it when there are plenty of hometown women ready, willing and waiting? She felt the tears gather and swallowed.