Happy Steak and Blowjob Day

by Fannie Tucker

  Happy Steak and Blowjob Day

  By Fannie Tucker

  Copyright 2012 Fannie Tucker

  Kindle Edition

  ***

  Richard looked up from his newspaper and took his pipe out of his mouth. "Say, darling, did you have a nice time on Valentine's Day last month?"

  Becky stopped knitting and smiled at him. "Of course I did, dear! What a nice time we had. The chocolate, the flowers, the fancy French restaurant! Thank you ever so much."

  Richard gave her a wolfish smile. "I'm glad to hear that, honey! Say, do you know what today is?"

  "Why, it's Wednesday, dear!" Becky laughed. "Richard, you're such a silly goose."

  "It's not just Wednesday, sweetheart! It's March 14th! It's officially Steak and Blowjob Day!"

  Becky gasped. "Richard! Watch your language! Dear, what if the neighbors hear you!"

  "Woman, did you not hear me? This is Valentine's Day for men! Do your duty and get in that kitchen. I like my filet medium rare, as you well know."

  Becky frowned. "I don't know, Richard, this sounds like another one of your cockamamie schemes to make me do dirty things!"

  Richard set his newspaper aside. "Call your friend Francine if you don't believe me! Why, I bet she's cooking up Ben's t-bone right now!"

  Becky sniffed and went to the kitchen, her high heels clicking across the linoleum as she went to the phone. She spun the dial and rang Francine's house. They had been best friends since high school and shared everything. If Richard were serious about this unheard-of holiday, Francine would know.

  After two rings, someone picked up. "Hmmm?"

  "Francine, is that you?" Becky asked.

  "Mmmhmmm."

  "Whatever are you saying dear? I can't understand you."

  "Mmmm hmvmmg mmmbble bllggggmm," said Francine.

  Becky's eyes went wide. "Francine! Surely you're not... Francine? Did you cook Ben a steak tonight? Gargle once for yes, twice for no!"

  "Mmmmm."

  Becky dropped the handset back into its cradle. Richard called out from the den. "Did you talk to Francine, sweetheart?"

  Becky stood in the kitchen, wondering how to respond. Finally, she admitted to herself that Richard was right. There was no such thing as a free lunch. Men showering their spouses with candy, flowers, and attention? Valentine's Day was too good to be true, but one time-honored tradition led another.

  "Did you say medium rare, dear?" Becky called as she opened the icebox.

  Later that evening, Richard dabbed at his chin with a napkin and leaned back. "Dear, that was an exquisite meal. The steak was perfect! Big, plump, and juicy, and cooked just right! Now, what say we finish off this holiday in good ol' fashioned Steak and Blowjob Day style?"

  Becky blushed. She couldn't remember hearing Richard use such language before. "Whatever you say, dear. Would you like your blowjob here at the dinner table?"

  Richard pondered the question a moment. "No, sweetheart, I think I'd be more comfortable in my lounger. Why don't you fetch my slippers from the bedroom? I don't want my feet to get cold, do I? Oh heavens, no!"

  Becky did as Richard asked, and when she returned to the den, she found him leaned back in his BarcaLounger. The trousers he'd worn to work lay rumpled on the shag carpet, and she could see his dark wool socks cutting a line across his well-shaped calves. Richard had been quite the football star in college, and although his legs were pale, they were muscular.

  "Ahh, Becky, sweetheart! Thank you very much." He lit his pipe with a match and puffed away. The sweet smell of tobacco filled the room as she knelt in front of him and slipped his house shoes over his feet. Becky looked up at her husband, who was watching her with an eager grin.

  "Well? Are you or aren't you?" Richard said.

  "Oh Richard, this is so embarrassing. I've never done anything like this before!" Becky said as her face reddened.

  "Oh fiddlesticks," Richard said, waving a dismissive hand. "Sure you have! Why, remember that corndog eating contest at the county fair? You beat everyone else by a dog and a half! And what was your secret, honey?"

  "Take it in deep and take a big ol' bite!" Becky said, her spirits buoyed by the triumphant memory.

  Richard laughed. "Right then! Well, this is the same thing! Only without the bite."

  Becky leaned forward and put her head over his lap. Richard's skivvies were bulging in front, and she knew why. Richard's willie was the only one she had ever seen, but she suspected it was larger than average. It had certainly felt enormous when he plunged it into her on their wedding night.

  Now he wanted her to put it in her mouth, another first. But he was her husband, and Becky tried to be a dutiful wife.

  She pulled down his undershorts, and his cock popped out, standing at attention like a nervous private. She moved tentatively toward it, and Richard put a hand on the back of her head, wrapping her fingers around the tight bun of blonde hair that she'd pinned up that morning. As he pulled her head down, and Becky opened her mouth as if to take a huge bite out of a corndog, but instead of biting, she tightened her lips around his shaft and sucked gently. She felt the head of his cock swell in her mouth, and her tongue pressed against the soft bottom of his hard rod. Richard pushed at the back of her head, and she let him slide down, taking him deeper and deeper into her mouth until he tickled the back of her throat. She kept her jaw open as wide as she could, but kept her tongue moving back and forth against him, then rolled it around in lazy circles over his throbbing tip.

  Suddenly, Becky felt hot desire blooming between her legs, the feeling she got sometimes when Richard was at work and she ended up using her personal massager down there. Just thinking about that made her feel naughty, but she slipped one hand under her dress where Richard couldn't see. As she sucked him, she slid two fingers beneath her panties and parted the pink folds of her flesh. She was slick and wet down there, and her fingers moved easily over her swollen nub. Becky moaned even with Richard's cock in her mouth. The vibration of her vocal chords made Richard writhe with pleasure, and she began humming one of Richard's favorite showtunes.

  "Oh golly, Becky, that is magnificent. Have I ever told you what a beautiful singing voice you have? Well, humming voice, anyway! Ahhhhhh..."

  Becky bobbed her head up and down, faster and faster, taking Richard's throbbing rod as deep as she could. Her own pleasure was building to a fever pitch, and she moved her fingers fast and hard against her sex until waves of pleasure rushed through her body. As she climaxed, she tightened her lips around Richard. She felt him tense and harden, then he cried out. His cock pulsed in her mouth, and hot, sticky fluid flooded her throat. It reminded her of the gravy she'd put on the mashed potatoes tonight, only this was saltier.

  Becky swallowed what she could and let out a prim little cough as she wiped her mouth. She sat on the floor in front of his chair and pulled her hand out from beneath her dress. "Did you enjoy that, Richard?"

  Richard was staring up at the ceiling with a dreamy look in his eyes. "Gee willikers, darling! Why, I hardly know what to say!"

  Becky stood, and Richard leaned forward and took her hand. The same hand she'd used to touch herself. He moved it to his lips and kissed it, then paused and sniffed her fingers. Then he looked up at her with a mischievous little grin. "Well now, darling! It looks like you enjoyed that too!" He stood suddenly and loosened his tie. "I'll tell you what, Becky! Since you were such a good sport, I'm going to give you a little something special tonight, whaddaya say?"

  Without waiting for an answer, Richard led her upstairs to their bedroom. For a moment, they stood between their twin beds, and Richard kissed her, then sat her down on her own bed. "I heard about this from some of the fellas in college. Of
course, none had ever tried it, but it's in all the sex books. Apparently, it drives the women wild!"

  "Whatever did you hear, dear?" Becky asked, excited, but wary.

  "Best if I just show you, darling. Take off that dress, will you?"

  Becky slid the dress over her head and folded it neatly at the foot of the bed. Then she sat up straight at the edge of the mattress and watched her husband expectantly.

  Richard gave her mouth a little kiss, but didn't linger. His lips moved down over her neck, and he kissed the tops of her breasts above her white cotton brassiere. Becky lay back on the bed while Richard kissed her flat belly, then his fingers pulled off her bloomers.

  Becky blushed. Usually, they only did this under the covers with the lights off, but now here she was, bare as a blue jay in front of her husband! He could see between her legs!

  Richard admired the view for only a moment though. Then he put his mouth against her thigh and began working his tongue upward, leaving a warm, wet trail. She could see his eyes watching her over the mound of dark, tangled hair. She tensed as his tongue touched the soft, pink flesh, then gasped as he parted her, exploring her dark, wet slit. His lips pressed against her now, and his tongue found her aching nub. When he touched it, Becky's eyes rolled back in her head and she squeezed her legs together around his head. Richard held onto her thighs as she bucked, but his tongue never left her. He moved it up and down in slow circles that made Becky shudder. She had never felt anything like the intensity of his tongue, and she wished it would never stop.

  "Oooh," Becky said, twisting on the bed as Richard's head moved up and down. His scruffy cheeks chafed her thighs, but she squeezed them tighter, crossing her legs over his shoulders and holding him close. "Oooh, Richard, that feels..." Becky tried to find the words. She cupped one of her hands around a breast and squeezed, trying to relieve the dull ache of desire that throbbed in her swollen nipple. With the other hand, she grabbed a fistful of Richard's hair. Just then, he sucked his mouth tightly to her sex and pressed his tongue hard against her tender bud.

  The orgasm was wild and sudden. It didn't unfold like delicate flower petals, it exploded like dynamite in a gasoline tank. Becky's eyes went wide and she nearly sat up on his shoulders. "Oh SHIT! OH SHIT!" She bucked like a wild mare beneath a cowboy. "FUCK! RICHARD FUCK ME RIGHT NOW!"

  Richard held his mouth against her a moment longer, then stood. Her fluids made a wet, glistening smear across his smug little smile. "Why darling, I didn't know you knew such dirty words! Wherever did you learn to talk like that?"

  Becky was done talking. She reached up and grabbed the lapels of his dress shirt - the same one she'd ironed that morning - and threw her weight back onto the bed, pulling Richard down atop her. Becky felt his cock between her thighs, and she was pleased to see that he'd become hard again.

  Becky reached down between them and took hold of his pulsating member. She guided it home with an eager, trembling hand, and Richard shifted his weight forward and thrust inside her.

  Becky sighed as she felt him part her like a schooner knifing through ocean waves, then put her hands on his back and urged him onward. Richard rested his arms on either side of her and looked down into her eyes, breathing hard. She could smell the sweet, pungent scent of his pipe tobacco, and something else as well. She let out a little squeal when she realized that that musky odor was her own sex on his lips. She felt a surge of wetness between her legs at the thought, surprised by how much it aroused her.

  As he pumped her, Becky wondered what she would taste like. She thought of Richard's cock, pumping inside her, coated with her wetness. Suddenly, she pushed her husband back. His face contorted in confusion for a moment, but Becky gave him no time to wonder. She stood and pushed him across the narrow aisle between their twin beds and he fell back on his mattress. Then Becky was on him, pouncing like a cat, falling between his legs like a hungry animal. She grabbed his cock in one hand and squeezed it hard, watching with satisfaction as his wet tip swelled big and red. Then she had him in her mouth, tasting her own juices - a coppery tang that made her lightheaded.

  Her nipples had hardened almost into sharp points at the tips of her heaving breasts, and Becky slid her hand beneath her bra, took one in her fingers, and pinched it until little pulses of pain came with every beat of her heart.

  Richard lay sprawled on his narrow bed, letting her suck him, but when Becky had licked every last drop of her own wetness off of his cock, she still felt unsatisfied. She needed her husband inside her. Rather than let him fuck her in their traditional style, she climbed atop him. Her carefully-pinned hair had come undone, and now hung in curls around her face. Richard's shaft, wet now with her sex and her spit, nestled against her crotch. Its tip poked out from the thicket of hair between her legs, resting on his belly.

  Becky reached behind her and unhooked the metal fasteners of her plain, white bra, then threw it carelessly across the room. Richard took her breasts in his hands and fondled them. His fingertips rubbed across her nipples and Becky groaned as she threw her head back. She sat up straighter, all her weight on his cock, and started to slide back and forth, letting her wet slit enfold his shaft without letting him go in - not yet.

  Richard squeezed her tits and squirmed beneath her, trying to slide his cock inside her, but Becky wanted to tease him first - after all, she'd cooked the man a steak. As she toyed with him, his cock rubbed against her clit, sending ripples of ecstasy through her abdomen.

  Becky moved faster, twitching her hips forward in a frenetic rhythm until she couldn't take it anymore. With one hand, she seized Richard's cock and pointed it upward as she lifted her body, then sat down, impaling herself on his meat.

  "I'm going to cook your meat now, sweetheart," Becky grunted, pumping up and down. "Only this time, it's going to be well done." Her hair flew wildly, and droplets of sweat trickled down her chest and stomach. She knew Richard would think her very forward in the morning. He might in fact wonder where his lovely wife had learned to be such a dirty birdy, but right now, Becky didn't care. She needed his cock deep inside her.

  She leaned back, bending him toward her and exposing the folds of her pussy. Richard looked down and saw himself disappearing inside her and watched as Becky slid one hand down into her patch of hair. With two fingers, she spread herself apart so he could see her swollen clit, then began to rub it with one fingertip in the same gentle rhythm with which she rolled her hips.

  Richard slid his hands down from her firm breasts to her narrow waist before caressing the swell of her hips. Then he grabbed her round ass in both hands and sat up on the edge of the bed. She was pressed against him now, and he put his mouth on her right breast, sucking hard at her firm nipple, flicking his tongue over the swollen bump.

  Becky's fingers tangled in Richard's thick hair and held his head tight against her chest. "Oh baby, suck it," she murmured in his ear. His tongue grew more eager, and he sucked even harder until she knew he would leave a hickey on her breast.

  Becky's hips rolled against him, rubbing herself against the base of his shaft in quick little motions, but that wasn't enough for Richard. He pulled up on her ass, and Becky wrapped her arms around his shoulders and lifted her weight until only the head of his cock was still inside her. Then Richard began to thrust up into her with long, hard strokes, and Becky felt his thighs slapping against her bottom, fap fap fap.

  His breathing grew hard and fast as Becky felt another orgasm building inside her. She hugged him close, her lips to his ear. "Oh yeah, Richard, I'm going to come, baby, please don't stop, please don't stop!" Richard gave one last hard thrust and sunk himself deep into her gaping slit. Becky screamed as she climaxed, the muscles between her legs tightening as she squeezed her thighs against Richard's hips. She felt him swell inside her, and he came just seconds later. Their bodies locked together as tightly as two pieces of a jigsaw puzzle, then Richard relaxed as the throbbing in his cock slowly subsided. He relaxed, and Becky slumped against him, panting.

>   She rolled over on her side, her feet flat on the floor. Richard's seed oozed out of her like the filling on her famous lemon meringue pie. She would have to wash the quilt on his bed tomorrow.

  "My goodness," Richard said after he caught his breath. "Where does a nice girl like you learn to act like that?"

  "Why, home economics class, sweetheart!"

  Richard's eyebrows shot up. "Say, you're putting me on! Really, now?"

  "Of course," Becky said, smiling. "I learned lots of practical things in college, you know. How to heat up a tube steak is just one of them!"

  "Well I'm glad you made good use of your education," Richard told her. "Now be a dear and fetch my pipe, will you?"

  Becky smiled and gave him a big, wet kiss. She could still taste both his juices and hers, but Richard didn't flinch away from her mouth. "Happy Steak and Blowjob Day, honey!"

  ###

  About the author:

  Fannie Tucker is a horny woman of indeterminate age who likes driving too fast, cussing too loud, and writing stories that would make her grandmother keel over dead.

  ***

  Bonus Material:

  Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed Happy Steak and Blowjob Day. Here's a preview of two other short stories I wrote. - Fannie Tucker

  Dirty Work: Jacking His Lumber

  The first book in the Dirty Work series. When Jennifer takes a job at a remote logging site, a hot young lumberjack named Ted catches her eye. When the couple find themselves alone, Ted teaches her to swing his axe, and Jennifer discovers she's a natural "woodworker" and takes on both of his tools at the same time! WARNING: Graphic sex scenes, oral sex, and an improvised axe-handle love toy. M/F, 3400 words.

  Excerpt:

  Ted stepped away and Jennifer swung the axe back, then brought it forward in a broad, two-handed arc. She felt the smooth wood, polished by thousands of blows, slide through her hands, and the blade sunk into the stump with a satisfying thump. She struggled to pull the axe out, but it was stuck fast in the wood, jutting out at a slight angle just below her waist.