Someone to Cherish

by Cheryl Holt

  She couldn’t fathom how to talk about it though, and when he hadn’t talked about it, she didn’t see how she could either.

  Well, they would have many decades together, and their current emotions would blossom as they went forward. He would eventually love her. She was convinced of it.

  “When will we do it?” she asked. “Where will we do it? Do you attend a church here in the city?”

  “No, I’m a dedicated heathen.”

  She tsked with exasperation. “We’ll have to work on that situation. I’m very devout, so I’ll expect you to accompany me to services and to act as if you’re enjoying yourself.”

  “For you, I will attempt anything, even church services.”

  “It may be tricky to figure out where to hold the ceremony. We can’t return to the country and beg my vicar to call the banns. I doubt he would. Not when my betrothal to Gregory hasn’t been officially terminated, and I would hate to quarrel with my uncle about it.”

  He smirked. “You naughty girl. Will you notify him after you’ve become my bride?”

  “Yes, definitely. I won’t give him a chance to stop me.”

  “I’m not keen to have the banns called. It would mean we’d have to delay a whole month, and you might come to your senses and change your mind.”

  “I won’t ever change my mind,” she firmly stated.

  “We could apply for a Special License, but there’s likely not a single bishop in the land who would provide me with one.”

  “We could elope.”

  “Caroline Grey! In the time we’ve been apart, you’ve altered into someone I don’t recognize. Elope! What a scandalous proposition! I’m astounded that you would suggest it.”

  “You’re not the only one who’s concerned about minds being changed. I’m not about to let you think about this. If anyone will get cold feet, it’s you. Not me. I’m perfectly content to be your wife, but you will be fretting and quailing and devising reasons to postpone. I intend to attach a leg shackle, and I want it to be so tight that you can never pry it off.”

  He sighed with gladness. “An elopement it is, Miss Grey.”

  “I’ve always yearned to visit Scotland. I guess this will be my opportunity.” She cradled his cheek in her palm. “It will be all right, Caleb. I swear.”

  “I know, and I’m very excited.”

  “What will Sybil’s opinion be? And how about your brother?”

  “Sybil will be thrilled about it, but she’ll be angry that we’re running off to accomplish it away from home. She’s the type who’d have liked to make a big fuss.”

  “We can have her host a reception after we’re back.”

  “She’d like that, and as to my brother, this news will probably kill him.”

  “He’ll be upset to have you wed me?”

  “Not you precisely. Just that I’m marrying anybody. He and I thought we’d always be bachelors. He’ll be stunned, but he likes you. He’ll be happy for me.”

  “I’ll be Mrs. Caleb Ralston,” she said. “What do you think of that?”

  “I think it sounds quite grand.”

  Caleb clasped Caro’s hand and kissed the center of it. Then he rolled her onto her back again, and he rolled too so he was stretched out atop her.

  He couldn’t believe he’d proposed, but after he’d spent the night in her bed, it was the only logical conclusion.

  When he’d left Grey’s Corner, he should have brought her to London with him, but he’d left her there to fend for herself. Why had he? She’d instantly been imperiled by her male relatives, which he could have predicted.

  From the minute he’d ridden away, he’d been worried about her. Now she’d walked back into his life, and he wasn’t about to ever let her walk out again.

  A pertinent benefit to their marrying concerned Gregory and her uncle and their contemplating drastic actions toward her. Once Caleb was her husband, she would belong to him, and he would be in charge of her. They wouldn’t be able to harm her in the future.

  He needed to commence a detailed investigation of them. Why would her uncle be so determined about the union? It was very strange, and Caleb would figure out his motive. He was already on the road to ruining Gregory, and he would dig deeper than he normally would to unravel the secret that was driving both men.

  At the moment though, he wasn’t about to waste energy pondering them. He had more agreeable topics to consider. Namely that he was snuggled under the blankets with her. He’d proposed, she’d accepted, and they would be wed before the week was over. Why not rush their wedding night just a bit? Why restrain himself?

  He had no great qualms about carnal conduct outside of marriage. He wasn’t religiously inclined, and he didn’t view sexual play to be wrong. Life was short, and a fellow should enjoy himself as much as possible.

  He began kissing her again, and she enthusiastically joined in. She was a lush, passionate creature, and he was certain she would grow to relish their bedroom antics. He was eager to teach her some of them. Starting immediately.

  He stroked and caressed her, massaged and teased, pushing her up the spiral of desire again. She oohed and aahed, grinned and laughed, being delighted to have him torment her. Cad that he was, he took full advantage of her fervor and naiveté.

  As he noticed he was wearing too many clothes, he drew back onto his haunches. He yanked off his shirt and tossed it over his shoulder. She studied his bare chest, then held out her arms, urging him to lie down again. When their skin connected, the sensation was so intense he was surprised they didn’t ignite. The pleasure was that riveting.

  He toyed with her breasts and touched her between her legs. His lust was escalating, and he couldn’t tamp it down. They’d climbed out onto a dangerous erotic ledge, and he couldn’t pull them off it.

  “I’d like you to do something for me,” he said.

  “What is it?”

  “You know. . . what.”

  “Will we engage in the. . . the. . . marital act?”

  “Yes.”

  “I have no idea what that entails.”

  “You’re a maiden, so you’re not supposed to have any idea. I’ll be your husband, so it’s my duty to tutor you.”

  “Since we’re not wed yet, it would be a sin.”

  He shrugged. “We’ll speak the vows in a few days, so it would just be a little tiny sin.”

  “You’re a man, so you would call it a little sin.”

  “This can be our wedding night. You can’t want me to return to my own bedchamber. Don’t tell me you want that.”

  She scrutinized him, and he froze, thinking—if she ordered him out—he would be crushed by disappointment. But she smiled and shook her head.

  “No, I definitely couldn’t bear to have you leave.”

  “Good girl.” He dipped down and kissed her. “Have you truly never been informed of the details?”

  “I’ve merely heard that it’s very physical.”

  “It is, and the first time is a tad awkward. It can hurt too.”

  “Hurt!”

  He’d panicked her, and he hastily said, “Just for some women, then forever after, it’s marvelous.”

  “You better mean it.”

  “Look at it this way: Once we proceed with this, we can’t back out.”

  She chuckled. “I told you I’m never crying off. You’re stuck with me.”

  “I like the sound of that.”

  He was being swamped by the most powerful impulses. He wanted to cherish and protect her. He wanted to keep her by his side until his dying day. He wanted her to be the mother of his children. That was the oddest impression pelting him; he hadn’t realized he wanted to have children!

  With her though, he couldn’t wait to sire a house full of them.

  Was this love? he wondered. If it wasn’t love, what could
it be?

  “Can you explain what will occur?” she asked.

  Usually, he could talk about any subject, and he tried to deduce the verbal account he could provide that wouldn’t render him tongue-tied with embarrassment, but he couldn’t picture himself describing fornication.

  “It’s easier if I show you,” he said. “It involves more of what we’ve been doing.”

  “Will I like it?”

  “I promise you will.”

  Suddenly though, he didn’t feel up to the task. He’d had many paramours, so he was hardly a novice. He was anxious for it to be special, but he was certain he could never make it as splendid or romantic as it ought to be.

  He started in yet again, kissing her and caressing her most sensitive spots, and she leapt into the fray with a particular eagerness. It seemed as if, with their deciding to wed, any conduct was allowed. She was as excited as he was to secure their bond.

  Her desire was rising, and down below, he was unbuttoning his trousers, tugging them down. Then he widened her thighs, his torso dropping between them.

  He nursed at her breast, his fingers gliding into her sheath. She was wet and relaxed, her virginal body prepared for what was approaching. He removed his hand and positioned the tip of his cock directly where it was so desperate to be. With a flick of his thumb, he sent her soaring to the heavens again.

  As she flew up, he pushed himself into her. With scarcely any effort, his phallus was impaled, and he lay very still as her anatomy acclimated to its new condition.

  “What just happened?” she asked.

  “I’ve joined us together,” he told her.

  “How?”

  “Men and women are built differently in our private parts.”

  “I didn’t know that.”

  “It’s for mating. That’s what this is called. We’ve mated.”

  She gazed up at him, a frown on her pretty face. “It feels strange.”

  “It’s not like anything you’ve ever tried previously. It’s why I couldn’t describe it to you.”

  “Are we finished?”

  “Not quite.”

  “What should I do?”

  “Wrap your arms around me and hold me tight.”

  “Like this?”

  “Yes, just like that.”

  She pulled him close, and he began flexing into her. Initially, he was careful and slow, but he couldn’t maintain his measured pace. He was quickly overwhelmed, and he proceeded with a reckless abandon.

  To his great delight, she swiftly adapted to the rhythm he’d set, but much before he was ready, his seed surged from his loins. With a final, frantic thrust, he shoved in and spilled himself against her womb. He didn’t consider withdrawing. They would wed shortly, so there was no need for caution.

  He collapsed onto her, and he remained there until he realized she was likely being crushed by his heavy weight. He slid away and rolled onto his side. She rolled too, so they were nose to nose again.

  He probably should have offered a profound comment, but he couldn’t think of one. He grinned, then she grinned too and said, “Are we finished now?”

  “Yes, that’s how it ends. You’re mine, Caroline Grey. You’ll never escape my dastardly clutches.”

  “You’re mine too. It works both ways. Could I be with child? Could that be the result?”

  “You might be. Each time we do this, it’s a possibility.”

  “I will pray for it,” she fervidly said. “I can’t wait to give you a son.”

  Tears flooded her eyes, and he was stricken. “Are you sad? You can’t be sad.”

  “I’m not sad, you oaf. I’m glad! And my gladness is leaking out. I can’t keep it in.”

  “You are so perfect for me.”

  He kissed her urgently, desperately, then he flopped onto his back and draped her over his chest. He stared at the ceiling, and his thoughts were practically bouncing off the walls.

  “What was your opinion of it?” he asked after awhile. “Tell me the truth.”

  “It wasn’t what I was expecting. I’d heard it was very physical, but I didn’t understand just how physical.”

  “Are you sore?”

  “No. It didn’t hurt at all.”

  “You tantalize me so completely that I couldn’t restrain myself.”

  “I didn’t want you to restrain yourself.” She sighed and said, “I’m happy.”

  “So am I. No regrets, Caro. Promise me you’ll never suffer any.”

  “Me? Regret marrying you? Don’t be daft.” She reached for his hand and linked their fingers. “Don’t you dare fret about this.”

  “I won’t.”

  “What do we do now?”

  “We can doze for a bit, then we can try it again.”

  “I’d like that,” she said.

  “But dawn is about to break. If the sky starts to lighten, I’ll sneak out.”

  “Good. I can’t have a housemaid find you in here.”

  “I’ll vanish long before that can happen. You sleep in though—as late as you like.”

  “I’ll miss you every second until I see you again.”

  “Come down to breakfast whenever you’re ready. I’ll watch for you.”

  “For the rest of our lives,” she said, “we’ll be able to snuggle like this all night, then have breakfast in the morning. Aren’t we lucky?”

  “I never thought I was, but since I met you, my fortunes seem to be improving.”

  “Mrs. Caleb Ralston. . .” she murmured, then she drifted off.

  He nestled with her, listening to her breathe.

  He was drifting off too—had she cured his insomnia?—and he glanced toward the window. The sky was brightening, and a bird chirped, so he had to get going. He eased away from her, and she was so exhausted that she didn’t stir.

  He stood by the bed, gazing down at her as he tugged on his shirt and straightened his clothes. A wave of pride rushed through him. She was his, and she would be forever.

  I love you. . .

  He mouthed the words, then he spun and tiptoed away.

  It would be a great day, the best day ever, and he couldn’t wait for it to arrive.

  “Where is she?”

  “How would I know?”

  Gregory glared at his father, wishing the man would cease his nagging. Gregory’s hangover was particularly brutal, and the slightest noise sent jolts of pain shooting behind his eyes.

  He was back at Grey’s Corner, in the dining room and trying to have some breakfast, even though it was one o’clock in the afternoon. He’d had to flee the city, and there had been nowhere to go but to his father’s house.

  For some reason, creditors were hounding him all over London. He couldn’t round a corner without some oaf jamming legal papers into his hand. Numerous humiliations had piled up, the worst being his eviction from Caleb Ralston’s gambling club.

  After suffering Ralston’s perfidy, word had spread that he couldn’t pay his bills, that he wasn’t nearly as wealthy as he claimed to be. In a pathetic instant, his social standing had plummeted into a void from which it would never recover.

  He’d begun to fear he was about to be arrested. It was a felony to defraud a merchant, and he’d received several notices of hearings where he’d been accused of being a flagrant debtor. He wasn’t an aristocrat who could thumb his nose at a court order, and there was no judge in the kingdom who would show him any mercy, so he would hide at Grey’s Corner until the worst had passed.

  “She didn’t visit you in town?” Samson asked.

  They were talking about Caroline who’d managed to run away. Gregory was actually a tad impressed by her brash escape. No one could explain how she’d accomplished it, and no one had a clue as to where she was. Someone had to be providing shelter, but who could it be?

&nbs
p; “I told you I didn’t see her,” Gregory said. “Give it a rest, Father. Please.”

  “Dammit. I was hoping she was with you.”

  “Why would she have been? It’s clear she wants nothing to do with me.”

  “Whose fault is that?” his father sneered.

  “Don’t blame me for the fiasco. I treated her as I always have. She has become a stranger we don’t know at all. I can’t fathom what’s come over her.”

  “Can’t you? You are a drunken, gambling-addicted sot. What sensible girl would agree to have you?”

  Lucretia had traveled with him, and she was seated at the table too. At the insult, she bristled and had the temerity to say, “I’m happy to have him by my side, and I consider myself to be eminently sensible.”

  “Mrs. Starling,” Samson said, “I’m discussing a family issue with my son. Your opinion is neither necessary nor required. Depart my presence at once.”

  “I haven’t finished eating.”

  Samson slapped a palm on the table, the sound echoing off the high ceiling, and he turned to a hovering footman. “Grab Mrs. Starling’s plate and teacup and carry them up to her bedchamber. She can enjoy the remainder of her meal in the privacy of her own room.”

  The footman blanched, peeked from Samson to Lucretia, then to Gregory, seeking guidance, and Gregory said, “Go upstairs, Lucretia. I can’t abide this bickering. I’ll be up in a few minutes—just as soon as Father has vented his wrath.”

  She never liked to be bossed, so they’d have a fight later on, but at the moment, he was feeling too poorly to worry about her wounded feelings.

  She threw down her napkin and stood so rapidly that her chair tipped over. “I’m trying to remember why I journeyed to the country with you.”

  “You’re here because we’re devoted companions.”

  “Keep telling yourself that’s true, Gregory.”

  She stomped out, and an awkward silence ensued. There were two footmen lurking, and they appeared relieved when Samson shooed them out. They scurried away and shut the door, so he and his father were alone.

  “Why are you involved with that obnoxious strumpet?” his father snidely inquired. “It’s bad enough that Caroline found out about her, but it’s really the limit to expect me to socialize with her.”