by Julie Cannon
The same questions bounced through her mind throughout the long stroll around the zoo and later that day after they returned home. Kyle cherished every moment she had with her daughter and wondered if she would be able to share Hollie with someone. It would be an equal partnership in raising her daughter—their daughter. As she prepared Hollie for her nap, she tried to imagine giving up control and making compromises in areas she may not want to. Could she trust someone else with her sister’s child? She had promised Alison she would take care of Hollie. Could she do it? Should she do it? Was Lane worth it?
She kissed Hollie on the forehead and laid the sleeping child in her crib. Everything was changing so quickly, and she felt a little disoriented as she returned to the living room. Lane was sitting on the couch, her head tilted back and her eyes closed.
Kyle touched her lightly on the shoulder. “She’s down for the count.”
Lane barely moved. Her eyelids fluttered open and she gazed up at Kyle with weary contentment. “I’m beat. I don’t remember being this exhausted when I took my nephews to the zoo. Where do they get their energy?”
“I said the same thing when I first brought Hollie home,” Kyle said. “I don’t know where the energy comes from, but if I could bottle it, I wouldn’t be a cop, that’s for sure. Can I get you anything?”
“Just your hands.” When Kyle’s eyes lit up, Lane added, “On my feet. They’re killing me.” She let her head loll back further. She was tired but invigorated at the same time. She’d been nervous about the day, but Hollie was a wonderful child. Spending time with her was a real pleasure.
Kyle laughed and pulled Lane’s feet into her lap. “Whew, I’m glad you clarified that. After chasing the two of you around all morning, I don’t think I would have been up to my normal sexual prowess.”
She removed Lane’s shoes and was rewarded with a moan of pleasure when she started massaging her feet.
Lane wiggled her toes in contentment. “Something tells me, Detective, that you’d be up to your normal mind-blowing, earth-shattering lovemaking standards even if you were absolutely exhausted.”
Kyle arched her eyebrows. “Mind-blowing?”
“Among other things.” Lane’s blood began to race and the familiar tickle began in the pit of her stomach.
Their eyes met. Kyle’s were dark with desire. Her hands drifted to Lane’s calves and her voice became husky. “Such as?”
Lane shifted her foot so that her heel pressed into Kyle’s crotch. The change in Kyle’s eyes told her she hit the right spot. “Such as how long does your darling daughter sleep?”
“Long enough.”
Kyle gave up the fight to control her own rising tide of desire. Abandoning the massage, she shifted on the couch, pinning Lane beneath her. She growled as Lane pulled her shirt out of her shorts and ran her nails seductively up and down her back. Kyle quickly made short work of Lane’s shirt and bra and dipped her head to capture an erect nipple. Her energy level recharged as she felt Lane respond to her touch. She kissed and caressed every inch of the soft skin and teased the nipple with her tongue. Just as she was about to slide her hand inside the waistband of Lane’s shorts, she felt Lane tense. An instant later, Hollie’s cries penetrated her passion filled brain. She stopped her movements and drew a ragged breath. Against an erect nipple she murmured. “I guess I forgot to tell her.”
Lane surprised her when she started laughing. “Does she always have such good timing?”
“I’ve never had anyone over before to find out.” Kyle placed a quick kiss on the flesh screaming for her attention and sat up. Her eyes devoured the half-naked woman on the couch. “Sorry. I’d better go see what she needs.”
After Kyle walked away, Lane lay on the soft leather gathering her wits for a few seconds then found her shirt. Her legs felt weak and her stomach in knots as she slid off the couch and followed the sound of crying down the hall. She peeked around the corner so as not to disturb Kyle if she was trying to get the toddler back to sleep. Kyle was holding Hollie, wiping the tears from her chubby little cheeks.
Lane wasn’t sure whether to step into the room or back out, worried that her presence might upset Hollie more. But before she could move the little girl beamed at her. Pointing, she tried to say her name, and Lane’s heart melted.
“Well, so much for my plan to be firm but kind.” She moved to Kyle’s side. “She already knows I’m a pushover.”
“Lucky me.” With a teasing sideways glance, Kyle settled Hollie back in her crib and slowly stroked her head until her eyes dropped closed.
They crept from the room and Lane asked, “How much longer will she sleep.”
“Not long enough,” Kyle said. “I’ll get her up soon. My parents are coming over for dinner.”
“I should get going then.” Lane hoped her disappointment wasn’t obvious.
“No,” Kyle said sharply. “I mean will you stay? I’d like you to meet them. I should have asked sooner, but I was…distracted.”
Lane stared down at her semi-clad state. “I’m not exactly dressed to meet the parents.”
“You look gorgeous. Especially with that unfulfilled sexual desire you have plastered all over your face.”
“Oh, thanks. That’s really going to impress your family. Anyway, I do not look like that.”
“Yes you do look like that. I should know, I feel the same way.”
“Hold that thought,” Lane said. “I have plans for you later.”
“Do you think you can keep your hands to yourself while my parents are here?”
Lane was saved from her next teasing comment by the door bell.
*
Lane enjoyed the evening immensely. It was obvious that Constance and Michael Bain were close to their daughter and actively involved in their granddaughter’s life. The family resemblance between Kyle, her mother, and Hollie was remarkable. The unconditional love and support Kyle received from her parents was clear from the pride on their faces as they asked about her current investigations. Lane found them easy to talk to, and they seemed genuinely interested in The SandPiper. She had the impression that they knew she and Kyle were not just casually dating but that the relationship was serious.
Constance took Hollie away to give her a bath after dinner, and Lane declined Michael’s offer to help clean up. Helping Kyle load the dishes into the dishwasher, she said, “I should go.”
“Why? Do you have to?”
Lane shook her head. “No, but I’d feel kind of awkward being here when your parents leave.” For some strange reason she felt like a teenager caught by her girlfriend’s parents having sex.
Kyle stepped closer and took her hands. “Have they said or done something to make you feel uncomfortable?”
“No, not at all. They’re wonderful.” This was her problem, not something brought on by Kyle’s parents.
Kyle scoured Lane’s face detecting no trace of anything but the truth. “Lane, I’m a grown woman. They’ve known that for a long time. They let me live my life and they always have. They wouldn’t think it out of the ordinary if they left before you. I can guarantee that they won’t think twice about it.”
The sincerity in Kyle’s voice was unmistakable. Lane’s heart swelled with the knowledge that Kyle didn’t just humor her, she took her feelings seriously. She realized she was just being silly and pulled Kyle to her for a long, lingering kiss. “You’re right about one thing.”
Kyle laughed recognizing the familiar teasing in Lane’s voice. “Only one?”
Lane ran her thumb over lips swollen from her kiss. “You are most definitely a grown woman. A woman who needs to finish what she started earlier this afternoon. When are they leaving?”
“Not soon enough.”
“Not soon enough for what dear?” Constance held her hand up. “Don’t answer that. I know exactly what you would say and I’ll say it for you. Your father and I are leaving now, and Hollie told us she wants to spend the night with us.”
With her blood raci
ng in the direction of her clit, Kyle was a little slow on the uptake. “She did?”
“Yes, she did. I understood her perfectly. Michael is getting her diaper bag ready, and we’ll bring her back tomorrow afternoon after her nap. Is that okay?” Constance looked directly at Lane as she asked the question.
“Sure, Mom, that’d be great.”
“That settles it then.” When Constance settled something, there was no further discussion. “Now you two come and kiss our little girl good-bye, and we’ll get out of your hair.”
When the door closed behind them, Kyle broke into peels of laughter as Lane collapsed into the chair.
“I don’t think it’s funny,” Lane said weakly. “I almost died of embarrassment.”
When she recovered enough to breathe, Kyle came over and knelt in front of her. “Come on. If you think about it, it’s kind of like getting caught under the bleachers in high school. But this time we didn’t get in trouble.”
Lane suddenly found the humor that had deserted her when Kyle’s mother walked in on them. She smiled seductively and opened her legs, inviting Kyle to come closer. “I never got caught under the bleachers.”
Kyle’s eyes flamed with desire. “Were you ever a cheerleader?”
Smiling seductively, Lane leaned back in the chair and forgot all about babies, mothers, and getting caught.
*
“Have you thought about what you’re going to tell Hollie about her mother when she gets older?”
The question came out of the blue and Kyle thought for a minute about her answer. They were lying in the center of Kyle’s bed, a light sheet covering them. After hours of lovemaking, her breathing was finally returning to normal but serious conversation was the last thing on her mind.
“I’ll tell her the truth,” Kyle replied.
“Did you ever think about having a child of your own…before Hollie?” Lane asked tentatively.
“To tell you the truth, I never really gave it much thought, and now I’m so busy I don’t have time to think about it.” Kyle gathered strands of Lane’s damp hair from her face. “And you?” She held her breath waiting for Lane’s answer.
“I don’t have the need to bear a child, but I had thought of adopting.” Sadness overwhelmed Lane. She had been far too busy concentrating on getting well to think about anything else. With her condition, she’d heard the door slam on her dream of a family. No one would let a woman with her medical history adopt a child, and common sense told her there was good reason for that.
“Really?” Kyle used a subtle interrogation technique to have Lane continue. They hadn’t talked this way before, and she sensed that she was touching on difficult emotional territory. Lane burrowed closer into the strong arms that held her as if they could ward off her sadness. “There are thousands of children that need a loving home, and I wanted to provide that for a child, maybe even two or three. I always wanted to be a mom. I thought I could be a pretty good one.”
Kyle picked up on Lane’s use of the past tense. “You don’t want that anymore?” Lane was such a natural with Hollie, Kyle couldn’t believe that for a minute. She was already picturing days like today happening permanently.
“No, I want it very much. I just don’t see it in my future, long term.” Lane tensed, hoping she didn’t say too much.
Not quite the answer she was looking for. Kyle asked, “Why not?”
Lane hesitated. This was the perfect time to tell Kyle the entire story about Maria and her heart. She knew that by not telling her she was deceiving Kyle, and she was uncomfortable with that. She took a deep breath but the words wouldn’t come out of her mouth. What she was waiting for she didn’t know. Or perhaps, if she were honest, she knew exactly why she was holding back. She didn’t want this magic to end, and she was afraid if Kyle knew, it would change everything.
She hadn’t intended the conversation to go this direction when she asked the original question. She was perfectly content lying in Kyle’s arms, and her mind had drifted to their wonderful day. Hollie was a bright, curious, well-mannered child, and more than once Lane found herself thinking of what it would be like if she were the child’s mother. She and Maria had talked about having a child, but now Lane couldn’t even imagine raising a child with anyone other than Kyle. She tensed at the thought. Where did that come from?
Awkwardly, she said, “It’s taken all my energy getting back into running the restaurant, and I’ve had to put myself on hold, in a way. Do you know what I mean?”
“Yes. I did the same thing myself when…we lost Alison. So much happened so fast, I just did what I had to do, and that’s how it’s been. It’s like I put myself away somewhere. I have my roles. Mother. Detective. Family member.”
Kyle stopped talking, surprised by the feelings that rushed over her. She hadn’t realized how empty she felt in some ways. Blatantly absent were the words lover and partner. Lane’s words had made her aware of a core of loneliness she simply took for granted, a sense that she was controlling her life instead of living it.
“Have you thought about what you do want to do?” Kyle asked. “I mean, long term? Are you going to keep the restaurant? Do you want to do anything else?”
Up to this point their conversations had been on the here and now, both of them seeming to avoid any discussion about the future, their future. Kyle was no longer satisfied with that. She wanted them to stop talking like two individuals with totally separate lives and acknowledge that they shared too much to carry on that pretence. The thought shocked her but also thrilled her. She had never imagined feeling this way about someone, having this powerful certainty that their relationship was going somewhere. As Lane’s words rolled over her, she made an effort to listen instead of losing herself in crazy imaginings about the future.
“I love The SandPiper. It’s my baby and I want to make her as successful as I can. But I’m not quite sure what that means, or if I’ll recognize it if I see it. Other than that, I really don’t know anymore.” Lane’s illness had taught her that life was fleeting and every day could be her last. She didn’t want to waste another day, but she also didn’t know what she wanted to do.
Kyle suspected that most people who recovered from a serious illness looked at life differently. Lane had practically told her as much. “What did you want to do? Before you got sick.”
Lane felt Kyle’s question rumble through her chest. “Live happily ever after.”
“Like with two kids and a white picket fence?” Kyle knew the question was not as light-hearted as she’d intended, but she felt Lane smile against her chest.
“And someone who loves me.” The words were out before Lane knew they were coming. She was afraid to move. Afraid to think about what Kyle would say to that. She wanted to run but wanted to stay even more.
“Do you think you can’t have that now?”
“I’m not sure,” Lane answered honestly.
“I think you can,” Kyle said firmly and pulled the blanket over them both.
Chapter Thirteen
The afternoon at Travis’ place was perfect. Even though his two little boys were older than Hollie, they doted on her like she was their little sister. Kyle felt good as she watched her lover and her best friends get to know each other. Joann and Travis filled the conversation with stories of Kyle’s various escapades as Travis’ partner. Finally, after several hours of half-truths, Kyle decided they’d had enough fun at her expense and she needed to get Lane away from their influence.
The drive back to her house started peacefully. Hollie quickly fell asleep in the back seat, and Kyle held Lane’s hand, lost in her own thoughts. She hit the brakes by instinct, barely absorbing that an accident had happened in front of them. She was out the door almost before the car came to a halt.
Tossing her cell phone to Lane, she instructed, “Call 911. Tell them we need an ambulance. Several of them. Now.”
Lane watched her lover run to the accident scene unfolding in front of her. She’d been gazing out her si
de window and had no idea what was happening when she was thrown forward. Her heart pounded as she answered the emergency dispatcher’s questions. Three cars had collided. Yes, there were injuries. Horrified, she saw Kyle withdrawing from a mangled blue car, her arms and shirt front covered in blood.
Oh my God. She started to get out of the car to help, but stopped when she remembered that Hollie was in her car seat. Torn as to whether or not to help Kyle, she was relieved when she heard sirens coming their way.
While the paramedics and fire department worked feverishly to free the trapped occupants, Lane couldn’t take her eyes off the woman who had captured her heart. Her strong sense of control wasn’t threatened by her need to be held and vulnerable in the arms of her lover. The emergency crews as well as the other police officers deferred to her authority, and she moved briskly and efficiently around the scene. She spoke to each of the victims of the crash as they were pulled from their vehicles and stood quietly over those that had been covered with a sheet.
Sometime during the melee Hollie woke and was looking for her mommy. Lane unbuckled the car seat and lifted her onto her lap. She didn’t want Hollie to be frightened if she saw Kyle covered in blood so she kept her distracted. When Kyle finally did approach her car, she had changed into a scrub shirt and her arms were clean.
Kyle leaned down and looked inside the car. “Hey there kumquat. Did you have a good nap?”
Hollie squealed and reached for Kyle, and Lane lifted her through the open window.
She followed the little girl outside. “Are you all right?”
Kyle leaned past Hollie and placed a soft kiss on Lane’s lips. “I’m fine, but I’m going to have to be here at least another hour or two while they investigate this mess. Can you take Hollie home for me? She shouldn’t be any trouble. I’ll let Gretchen know and she can come watch her.”
