“Yeah, I wanted to see if you needed help closing up. You said this day is usually crazy busy,” he said, his expression difficult to read. His smile didn’t reach his eyes, and I wondered if Jackson had said anything to him when they obviously walked past one another. But that would be impossible—they’d never met.
“It was busy, yeah. That’s so sweet of you.”
“I’ve got this under control. Why don’t you two take off? Grab a late dinner or something?”
“Lyra, don’t be silly, we’ll help.”
Lyra shook her head. “I insist. Besides, I was late this morning, so it’ll make up for it.”
“Fine, okay.”
“Positive. I’m just going to close up shop and head to the liquor store—I need to buy some wine.” She winked at me. “Have fun, lovebirds.”
I turned to Peter, who was still difficult to read. He nodded at Lyra, but stayed silent, his hands inside his pockets, his posture rigid.
“I’ll just grab my things,” I said, feeling a twinge of fear build inside my racing brain.
“Okay,” he said, pressing his lips into a thin line.
“Everything all right?” I asked, my pulse quickening.
“Yep, just fine.”
But I knew things were far from fine. What I didn’t know was why.
Chapter 18
PETER
Four hours earlier
Working the day after Christmas was not something I wanted to do. At all. But Ekisaito was back in business after being closed for the holiday. And being a new employee, I wasn’t ready to take any vacation days. The day dragged on since half of our team had taken the day off, so I was especially relieved when it was time to wrap things up.
I was just about to start packing up my things when Shannon’s secretary, Roberta, buzzed my phone.
“Yes?”
“Peter, Shannon would like to see you in her office before you leave for the day.”
“Uh, okay. I’ll be right there.”
An empty feeling formed in the pit of my stomach. Was it possible that I’d be fired after only a few weeks on staff? Was my team unhappy with my performance? Was I not performing as well as I thought I was? My heart raced as I grabbed my laptop and walked to Shannon’s office on the other end of the floor. Sweat formed on my brow as I told myself to stay calm, that all was fine.
“Go on in; she’s expecting you,” Roberta said with a smile. I searched her expression for some sort of sign but came up with nothing. I decided to just take a deep breath and get it over with. I opened the door and Shannon greeted me with indifference.
“Peter, have a seat.”
Shit.
“So, something came up today and I thought we should discuss it.”
“Okay.”
“We are rolling out a brand-new program that a select few of our new hires are going to be to be a part of in the next calendar year. Seeing as you are one of the most talented people I’ve hired in quite some time, I feel it would be in your best interest, and frankly mine, if you took advantage of it. The training committee is willing to let you participate since you were just hired.”
My racing heart started to slow and my brain stopped spinning. “Great, what is it?”
“We’d like you to spend three months in Tokyo.”
My jaw dropped, and all I could see in my mind was Maren. “I’m sorry, what?”
“March through May. You’ll be training with the absolute best our company has to offer. You’ll be working at our international headquarters, and you’ll be receiving knowledge in months that it’s taken members of your team years to learn. You’ll be on the fast track, Peter.”
“That sounds incredible, but Japan…for three months?”
“I know it sounds like a lot, but the company will make it worth your while, I assure you. Not only will you receive your standard salary, but we will also provide housing and a generous monthly stipend to cover your meals and other expenses. Not to mention, this is a tremendous opportunity to see another part of the world on someone else’s dime.”
“Um, I… It sounds like a tremendous opportunity, Shannon. And I apologize if I don’t seem as excited as I should, it just…it takes me some time to process things like this.”
“Look, I would have killed for something like this when I came aboard twenty years ago. And now that I’m married and have children, it’s no longer an option for me. You’re young, you’re single; this is the perfect time for you, don’t you agree?”
“When you put it like that, yeah. Definitely. Can I think about it, or do you need an answer right now?”
“Take the day and think it through. You can let me know your decision tomorrow. I need to get you locked in before this calendar year ends. That way they’ll know a spot is taken before they offer any to new hires.”
“I’ll let you know first thing tomorrow.”
Shannon nodded with pursed lips. “I’ll look forward to speaking with you.”
I rose to my feet and we said our goodbyes. As I reached the door, she said, “And Peter. There’s really only one correct answer. You know that, right?”
I lowered my chin to my chest. “I do.”
When I walked into my apartment, I realized my entire drive home had been nothing but a blur of wandering thoughts and questions that added up to more questions. On one hand, I was grateful to even be considered for something like this—in my gut, I knew it would only be offered to a select few, those with the most potential within the company. It would be an honor and a privilege to be able to see and learn everything that I could at the international headquarters in Tokyo. These three months, although they seemed long to me right now, in hindsight they would be nothing but a short span of time in which I was able to hone my craft and make valuable connections within the company.
I knew what my answer had to be.
But that didn’t make it any easier. The thought of being away from Maren for that length of time was overwhelming. Yes, we could FaceTime, text, and call one another daily—never had there been more technology for those in long-distance relationships. But the idea of not holding her, not kissing her, was almost too much for me to handle. Our relationship was still new, and things were going so well. I didn’t want to throw in any complications, let alone put an ocean between us.
After reheating some Christmas leftovers and zoning out while watching television, I couldn’t get my head on straight. All I could think about was how to break this to Maren. How on Earth was I going to do that? She was so supportive, so kind, and she appreciated how important my career was to me. But still…I couldn’t figure out how to break the news. Could I buy her a round-trip ticket for a visit? No, I respected the fact that Maren was a small-business owner, and I wouldn’t want to assume what dates would be best for her. I realized the best thing to do would to just be open and honest, to tell her about my meeting with Shannon and for the two of us to figure it out together.
A jolt of electricity went through me, and I was ready to just rip off the band-aid and tell her everything so we could get through the awkwardness of it all and skip ahead to making plans, to making it work for us both. I glanced at my watch—her store was closing in fifteen minutes.
Perfect.
I threw my coat on and hustled out the door, trying out different opening lines inside my head. I had to choose my words carefully, had to make sure she knew just how much I valued her input and feelings. We could get through this…. It was only three months, right?
After a brisk walk downtown, I reached the entrance of her shop. Just as I placed my hand on the knob, I saw Maren through the glass pane of the door. She was standing at the register, her hair up in a loose bun, not a stitch of makeup on her perfect skin. I paused for a moment, taking her in. It was then, though, that I noticed him. The man standing at the counter. At first glance, I assumed he was a last-minute customer, finishing his purchase. That was until he handed her a box wrapped in red-and-gold foil paper and tied with a large,
ostentatious bow. Maren smiled and held the box in her hand as she continued to talk to the man. He was very tall with black hair and tan skin and, even though he was wearing a blue peacoat, I could see he had a muscular build. The brisk wind blew through me as I stared at them, taking in their exchange. Maren held the box and for just a moment, appeared annoyed, but quickly a smile returned to her face and her cheeks blushed as he leaned down to take her hand in his. And then he kissed it.
What the fuck? Why was she blushing?
In my gut, I knew this was the infamous Jackson who broke her heart almost a year ago. But what the hell was he doing in her shop giving her a present? Why was her hand touching his lips, and why was she looking so flattered as he kissed her? For the second time that day, my world started to tilt on its axis, and I had no idea what to think or feel. I was overcome. I was…lost.
He turned around and I backed away from the door. Not only was he tall and muscular, but this man’s face was chiseled, like a Hollywood actor. He had high cheekbones and dark eyes—the epitome of tall, dark, and handsome. And even though I was a confident guy who didn’t intimidate easily, I had to admit to myself that this guy had done it. Not only did he look like a J.Crew model, but he was kissing my girlfriend and bringing her presents.
My body tensed as I watched him walk through the door. He gave me a polite smile and said, “Sup, man?” as he walked past me. Heat flushed throughout my body as I watched Maren, who was still standing at the register, speak to Lyra. They were wide-eyed and animated and my gut felt like a giant ball of fire. I could feel my cheeks grow hot as I pushed against the door and entered the shop. I was one big ball of emotions, and for the first time entering her shop, I wished I had just stayed home.
“You’ve barely touched your sashimi,” Maren said, tilting her head to the side to make eye contact as she held her tiny porcelain cup of green tea. We were at our favorite sushi place, but my appetite was completely gone.
“I, uh…I had some leftover duck after work.”
“Oh…we didn’t have to get dinner.”
“No, no, you’ve had a long day. You need to eat.” I was doing my best to be neutral, to disguise the mixed bag of emotions that my brain had turned into in the past few hours. Japan and the man I assumed was Jackson were engaged in a heated battle, both fighting for my full attention. I was feeling unbelievably jealous, yet still afraid of hurting her feelings about Tokyo. It was the most confused I’d ever been at a sushi restaurant.
“Peter.” She put her chopsticks down and reached across the table to tilt my chin, forcing eye contact. “What is it? You’re not yourself at all.”
“I’m just tired,” I said, taking a sip of my water. “You know, first day back after Christmas.”
“You’re sure that’s it?”
“Mmm-hmm.” I nodded, but I knew she wasn’t buying it. She looked away from me and sucked in her upper lip, biting down and deep in thought.
Just act normal, you idiot.
“I don’t believe you,” Maren said, shaking her head in dismay. “Something’s up, and I wanna know what it is.”
“Nothing’s up, Mare. Just a long day is all.”
“So why didn’t you just stay home and rest? Don’t get me wrong, I’m always happy to see you, but we didn’t have plans tonight, you could have just stayed in.”
“I wanted to see you.” And it was the truth.
“Okay, but now we’re together and you’re just…off.”
“Sorry.” I shrugged, forcing myself to pick up a piece of salmon and pop it into my mouth. My stomach gurgled in response.
Silence hovered over our table and Maren sighed. “Look, I had a long day too. Maybe we should just call it a night.”
I saw red. Reason ran far away from my brain as I dissected her response. And in my head, I was yelling at her. “Why do you want to call it a night? Is it because of him? Do you want to wrap up the night and go see the Adonis who gives you flashy-looking gifts and kisses your hand like he’s some kind of prince in a fucking fairy tale?”
“Peter.” Maren snapped me back into reality. “What the hell is the matter with you?”
“What? Why?”
“You’re sitting there with your chest puffed out looking angry as hell. And you’ve been weird since you walked into the shop. Look, I wasn’t going to bring this up, but I think you may have seen Jackson.”
“Blue peacoat?”
“Yes.” She nodded, her expression gentle, compassionate.
“Why weren’t you going to bring it up?”
“Because I couldn’t give two shits about Jackson.”
“Why was he in your shop?”
“I don’t know.” She leaned her elbows on the table.
“I saw him give you a present. Why is he bringing you presents?”
“Don’t know.” She shrugged, looking indifferent; and that indifference was like a punch in the gut. And so I persisted with my rapid-fire interrogation.
“What did he give you? You didn’t open it…”
“Peter, you’re being ridiculous—”
“Why didn’t you open it, Maren?”
“Because I already know what’s inside. It’s the same fancy perfume he bought me every Christmas when we were together.”
“But you’re not together…”
“No, we’re not.”
“Then why did he give it to you?”
“Peter, I’m telling you I don’t know.”
A sarcastic laugh left my mouth. “Right.”
“You have a lot of nerve getting pissed off. Especially with all of the Cara crap I’ve had to deal with.”
“Cara’s a friend.”
“And Jackson’s an ex. So what?”
“He kissed your hand.”
“And?”
“And you liked it,” I snarled. I was done holding back; it was time for the truth. The truth as I saw it, anyway.
Her eyes stretched wide as she glared at me. “You have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“You were blushing, Maren. I’ve made you blush many times. I know what I saw.”
Maren rose to her feet and threw her napkin over her spicy tuna roll.
“Go to hell, Peter.”
I watched as she walked out of the restaurant while I felt like the biggest prick in the world.
What the hell am I doing?
I grabbed my wallet, threw down enough money to more than cover our meal, and chased her out of the restaurant.
“Maren!” I called to her as she walked down the block. I could see her teal puffer coat, bright underneath the streetlamps. She picked up her pace when she heard my voice. “Maren, wait!”
“Leave me alone, Peter,” she yelled without turning back.
“Maren, please, I’m sorry!”
She stopped dead in her tracks and glared at me, glistening tears running down her pink cheeks. “You’re the biggest hypocrite I’ve ever met! You make me feel ridiculous for feeling insecure about a friend of yours who is openly pursuing you, and then you get pissed when my ex shows up out of the blue! I didn’t invite him. I didn’t agree to get a drink with him. I didn’t do anything wrong!”
“I know, I’m sorry, I just… Please, can we go somewhere warm? Just to talk?”
“No.” she shook her head, tucking her hair behind her ears as the wind swept it into her eyes. Even when angrily pushing her hair from her face, she was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. And I’d sabotaged things.
You really are an idiot, Peter.
“Maren, you’re right. About everything. I’m a hypocrite and an asshole. I had a long day, and then I saw him and it was just…it was a bad day for me to see him, let’s just say that.”
“Like I said before, you and I didn’t have plans. You could have stayed home. You didn’t have to bring your bullshit to me.” Her voice was clipped and so angry. I’d really screwed things up.
My stomach was in knots, and I didn’t know how to fix what I’d done.
>
“I was an asshole, okay? You’re ri—”
“And I did nothing wrong.” Her lips curled in as she scowled.
I paused, still upset that she accepted the gift. And the way she reacted to his kiss.
“Peter!” she yelled before throwing her hands up. “Forget it, I’m out.”
“I apologized!” I ran to catch up to her. Luckily because of my long legs, I was able to keep pace with her even as she hustled down the block.
“But you don’t trust me; it’s so obvious.”
“I do trust you, it’s just… Would you stop, please?” I pulled gently on her arm and she whipped her body around to face me. “I do trust you, Maren. I do.”
“You think I still have feelings for Jackson.”
I shrugged. “I know what I saw.”
“So, why did you chase after me? Just to give me a fake apology? That makes no sense!”
“No, I am sorry. I’m sorry for how I acted at dinner, but I can’t help but have some doubts.”
“I blush when I’m embarrassed and when I’m uncomfortable…and I shouldn’t have to justify that. It’s an involuntary response. The man asked me out for a drink and I told him no. That should be all that you need to know! You have a woman literally getting you jobs and dipping her fingers into your food, but you’re pissed because my ex stopped by for literally five minutes. You’re insane! And you’re a fucking hypocrite!”
I reached for her hand, but she ripped it away. “Don’t touch me!”
She was right. I was a total hypocrite. My guilt and fears about moving to Japan had a horrific domino effect on my emotions and reactions, and Maren paid the price. I felt like the scum of the earth.
“Maren, please, I-I’m sorry. So sorry. You’re right about everything, and I do trust you. You’ve never given me any reason not to and I just jumped to conclusions. I’m sorry. I really am. Please. Please forgive me. I mean it sincerely.”
Maren swallowed hard, looking away. “Keep talking.”
“I’ll never doubt you again. You have my word.” I took one small step closer to her, and I was encouraged when she didn’t back away. I reached down to gently touch her fingers with my own. She jerked away initially, but then reached back again for me.
Melt With Me: A With Me In Seattle Universe Novel Page 17
